A/N : Well, here we are at the end of this fic! Yep, when you've read this chapter and epilogue there will be no more of this story. I'm kind of sad that it's ending, I was enjoying writing it, but it has come to a natural end...for now. Thanks to the reviewers of the previous chapter; Spuffyfan4eva, spikeswife1, slayafreek, Darklight, Shania Maxwell, SweetBitter. In fact, an extra thanks to everyone who reviewed on any or all of the chapters of this story. It's been fun guys! Hope you like the ending! :-)
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 16
"Well, that's the last of it" Spike sighed as he put the final couple of items into his suitcase. It amazed Buffy that a man who'd seen more than a century pass had so few belongings to show for it. Just one semi-large suitcase, that was everything, and here she was with enough luggage to sink a battle cruiser for just a few days stay!
"You're gonna miss it, aren't you?" Buffy realised as she went to his side and hugged him, "Wolfram & Hart and the gang"
"S'pose so" he agreed wrapping his arms around her too and kissing the top of her head, "but not half as much as I'd miss you if I lost you again"
"You won't ever" she promised, kissing him to seal the deal, "but it's gonna be crazy when we get back to England"
"There's going to be some people who aren't so pleased to see me y'know" he said sadly, "Not that the Watcher or the Whelp ever really bothered me but...I don't want there to be anymore conflict in your life than there has to be, luv" he told her, playing with her hair.
"You don't have to worry about me" she smiled, actually loving that he did, "Everyone's grown up a lot these past five years, even Xander...even Wood"
Spike laughed a little at that.
"I still can't believe he's managed to tame the wild Slayer" he chuckled, "Her type aren't usually so easily domesticated. Evil and all that"
"You changed" she pointed out, "Got a soul and everything"
"For you" he reminded her, "That's the only way to really make a change like that, you have to have something real to do it for. I guess Faith's got it bad enough for the Educator she'd found her way. My love for you was what saved me"
"Y'know for a guy who used to suck at poetry" Buffy smiled up at him, "You says some beautiful things some times"
He smiled back at her, before they both leaned in and kissed again.
"Seems to me we should get going, before I change my mind and drag you back to bed" Spike told her as they pulled apart at last.
"Let's go" she laughed as he picked up his bag and took one last look at the room before leaving, hand in hand with his Slayer.
They rode the elevator down to Wesley's office where the gang had congregated. Buffy moved down the line, hugging them all as they wished her luck and promised to visit sometime. Then Spike stepped up to say goodbye to the make-shift family he'd been with for the past five years.
"Goodbye Spike" Wesley smiled at the vampire, holding out his hand to shake. Spike took hold of the hand and pulled the ex-Watcher into a manly hug. The bloke had been a good mate to him when he had no reason to want to be. He'd never forget that, though he'd also never admit as long as he existed that he'd just voluntarily hugged a fellow male! Next he hugged Fred, thanking both her and Wes for their friendship and wishing them all the happiness in the world together. She cried a few tears as she told him how much she would miss him and how cute he and Buffy were together.
"Silly bint" Spike joked, hugging her one last time before moving down the line and being pulled into an uncomfortable hug by Lorne.
"Leave off, you silly bugger" he cried, not really as annoyed as he seemed, as he pulled away and straightened his coat, "Don't want you wrinkling the leather" he winked.
Spike was a marvel to Lorne. He never needed to be singing for the empath to get a clear reading. He wore his heart on his sleeve, his emotions clear to anyone who bothered to look. Lorne knew without a doubt that Spike and Buffy were made for each other and that they'd be happy together for a long time to come.
Spike moved on to shake hands with Gunn, who also wished him luck for the future.
"And y'know I'm gonna be taking my vacations where you're at" he grinned, "A whole huge building full of mighty fine, incredibly flexible, extra tough women? Who wouldn't wanna be there?" he said sincerely, making the girls frown a little and the guys try not to react to the pleasing imagery.
"I think it's time we were leaving" Buffy realised, checking her watch, "You ready?" she asked Spike as he came to stand by her side once again.
"Never been more so, pet" he told her with a smile. He had come to like his life here in LA, but it was never going to be home. He only felt truly at peace when Buffy was by his side, and now she would be, always.
- - - - - - - - - -
Buffy slept for most of the flight back to England, it was already dark when they'd left Los Angeles and she was tired before they even started their journey. Spike was glad that the windows of the W&H private jet were made of the same protective glass as the windows in the office block, letting him travel without the risk of frying half way across the Atlantic. He himself couldn't sleep, there were too many thoughts filling his head.
What would all the Scoobies be like now? Would they look different or act differently, it'd been five years after all, and Buffy had said they'd grown up. Would they treat him differently now? Accept him more? All the questions made the vampire's head spin so he tried to put them out of his mind, instead concentrating on all the definite positives of this trip.
He was going to be with Buffy, forever it seemed since they were both so in love with each other. He would be working and fighting by her side again, with the added bonuses of being her friend and her lover.
She was sleeping on the seat beside him, her head resting on his shoulder and his arm around her back. After so many hours he was glad he didn't have circulation since he was certain she'd be cutting it off by now. She looked like an angel, bathed in the moonlight from the window, and leaning over he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
Comparing her to a heavenly body reminded him of the grand-sire that bore the name. It was still weird and sort of strangely painful to know the Poof was dust, and seemingly for good this time. Still, death was a part of life, even for the living dead like them. There is a time to be born and a time to die, and eventually it came to everyone.
Spike looked down at Buffy and then back out at the sky. If there was one thing he'd learnt in his long existence, both vampire and man, it was that you had to take a chance. Grab what you want with both hands and don't ever let it go.
Now he had Buffy here in his grasp, and he wasn't ever going to let her go. He hoped she'd still feel the same about him when they arrived back in London and had to face her friends.
"Buffy, luv" Spike nudged her awake as the pilot told him they were about to land, "Time to wake up, sweetheart"
He kissed the top of her head as she stirred. Her eyes flickered but didn't fully open.
"I was dreaming" she smiled as she stretched a little, loving the feeling of his body next to her own, in truth she was only half aware of her surroundings "We were on the beach and it was so warm, and you were rubbing lotion on my back..."
Spike's whole body stiffened at her words. A pretty dream, but not one that he could ever make come true. Sunny days on the beach were not something he would be enjoying in this lifetime, all he could offer was the dark. He was sort of glad the Slayer was not fully awake and did not seem to notice how tense he'd become. He tried to relax and go back to less life-changing worries, like how the Scoobies would react to him these days, but in the back of his mind he was a little panicked.
"Buffy" he jostled her fully awake this time, "We're landing, luv, you have to wake up"
She came to with a bit of a start, he'd shook her a little more roughly than he meant to but she didn't say anything about it. She looked over at him and tried to read the odd expression on his face but it wasn't one she'd ever seen before from him. She blinked a few times and when she looked back he was smiling at her again, maybe a little nervous but pretty normal. Maybe she'd just imagined it.
The plane was soon on the ground and their luggage was unloaded for them. This was it - crunch time for Spike. All worries, stupid or not, were pushed aside as Buffy's hand held his tight and they walked off the plane and then through the airport building. The first person to spot them was Dawn who came barrelling through the crowds, almost knocking Spike down as she ran into his arms.
"Hello Nibblet" he said as he hugged her, glad he didn't need to breathe as her arms held him tight.
"Spike, we missed you so much" she told him, tears running down her face, still refusing to let go of him. They'd gone through a tricky patch in their sibling-type relationship when things had gone horribly wrong between Buffy and Spike, but when he'd made that ultimate sacrifice and she knew she'd never see him again, Dawn hadn't felt a pain like that since she lost her mother and her sister. Now he was back and words couldn't express how pleased she was, especially since it seemed he and Buffy were in love for real this time.
"Dawn, I think your sister would like a hug too" Spike smirked, gently easing the young woman off him when he caught the semi-jealous look Buffy was giving them. As the Summers sisters moved to hug each other, Spike was surprised to find Willow reaching for him.
"It's good to see you, Spike" she smiled after she'd hugged him briefly and despite his shock he managed to smile back and thank her. Next Giles shook his hand and the witch nudged Xander until he gave in and did the same.
Meanwhile, Faith had moved around to Buffy's side. The two shared a look of understanding and both were surprised to see tears on each others faces as well as feeling them on their own cheeks.
They'd both loved Angel in their own ways, and he'd changed both their lives. Now he was gone, and as much as they both had new lives to live now without the souled vampire in them, his loss was felt deeply still.
"I'm sorry, B" the dark-haired Slayer choked out, "I know what he meant to ya"
"To you too" the blonde replied, before they finally gave up on being the strong ones and hugged each other as they cried. They were rarely so willing to be close, though they did have a kind of friendship these days. Still, there were few who fully understood how they felt about losing Angel.
"Here" Buffy said, sniffing as she pulled away and reached into her pocket. She handed Faith a crumpled envelope and the two women looked at each other.
"From Angel?" Faith checked.
Buffy nodded, swallowing hard so she could reply.
"I got one too, and the gang in LA" she explained, "It's...he knew eventually...he wanted to say goodbye" she stumbled through the broken sentence trying to stop her tears and failing badly. Spike was soon by her side again. Without a word he wrapped his arms around her and held her close as she sobbed.
"How're things, Faith?" he asked the other Slayer over Buffy's shoulder.
"They've been worse" she half-smiled, "You?"
"Not so bad" he nodded, returning the expression as Robin appeared behind Faith and was soon hugging her too. Spike had nothing much to say to the ex-Principal and it was clear Wood felt the same. They shared a small nod to show they acknowledged each others existence but there was a long way to go before even civility existed between them.
The Scoobies helped pick up Buffy and Spike's luggage and headed out to the waiting cars. No matter what changed, the vampire was sort of glad that one thing was constant as Giles began vigorously polishing his glasses.
"Could we please get a move on!" he exclaimed "Let's not forget that we've left that idiotic Andrew in charge of a whole building full of girls that are all vastly stronger than he is, the pillock"
Nope, somethings never changed.
- - - - - - - - - -
It was several hours since the gang had arrived back at 'Slayer Central' as the building was affectionately known. Faith had been in the room she shared with Robin for most of that time, holding her letter from Angel in her hands. At first she'd been worried about opening it, afraid of what it might say. After she'd finally plucked up the courage she'd read it through several times, both smiling and crying as she imagined him saying the words to her. She'd meant to go and visit, God dammit! Now it was too late. He'd always been there for her and she'd been awful to him, so many times, and yet he always believed in her.
"Hey" said a voice from the door and Faith automatically stopped herself crying, scrubbing the tear tracks from her face with the back of her hand, "We've talked about this before" Robin frowned as he came to the room and sat beside her on the bed, "You're allowed to cry, it doesn't make you look weak to me, I love you no matter what"
She smiled at that and gladly let him hold her.
"I know" she sighed, "After five years you'd think I would, but I spent too long hiding it and...this brought back memories y'know" she said, waving the letter in her hand.
Robin wasn't really sure what he should say. He barely knew Angel and had never really been eager to. He was a demon after all, just another vampire, made worse by the fact he helped in the siring of Spike who'd been his poor mothers downfall. Still he'd meant a lot to Faith and he wasn't about to say anything derogatory within her hearing.
"He understood me" the young woman in his arms said softly, a tone she'd only learnt since Robin had come into her life, showing her what it was to be a person who could love and who was loved, "For a while I thought he was the only one who could...but then there was you" she smiled a little more as she looked up at him, "You get me somehow, and you love me in a way he never could've" she told him, "I guess what I'm trying to say is, him dying kinda made me realise just how important some stuff is, like you and me, and one other thing..."
"Whats the other thing?" Robin asked curiously as she looked away. When she looked back she was smiling again.
"Is this a good time to mention that I'm having your kid?"
- - - - - - - - - -
"Well, that's everything, the whole operation" Buffy told Spike as they entered the bedroom, having done the entire tour of the building "And this is my room, or our room now I guess" the Slayer amended with a smile, one the vampire did not return.
"It's nice, luv" he said quickly when her smile disappeared. Everything should be perfect and happy now, but what she'd said on the plane, the dream she'd had, it was bothering him.
"Spike" she said, coming back across the room towards him, "You've been weird since the plane. Tell me what's wrong" she put her arms around his waist and searched his face for something, any clue as to why he was acting differently.
"It's nothing really" he shrugged, putting his hands on her shoulders, "I'm just being a stupid git" he told her, placing a kiss on her forehead before walking away and dropping himself onto the bed. He laid on his back with his arms folded behind his head, his eyes closed so he didn't have to see her giving him that look, the one that said she knew he was lying.
"I know when something's bothering you" she told him, arms folded over her chest, he could see the stance behind his eyes, didn't have to actually look. He opened one eye for a moment, a smirk on his face as he spoke.
"You expect me to believe you tell me every single thing that bothers you?" he challenged, "cos I know for a fact that's bollocks"
"Maybe" she agreed, sitting down heavily on the end of the bed. Spike never played games when it came to emotions. That was her job, she remembered with some remorse. So why was he being like this now? She decided the only way to make him confess was to tell him the one thing that had been niggling in the back of mind since a few days ago when they'd admitted their love for each other.
"When was the last time you saw Drusilla?" she blurted out, watching him carefully as his eyes opened fast. To his credit he didn't look too shocked.
"Three years ago" he said without emotion, not even bothering to ask why she wanted to know. He was almost certain he knew anyway. The main 'competition' as it were between the two of them had been Angel and Dru. Now one was gone, but there seemed to be a small part of the Slayer that worried his first love might return and spoil things.
"You should know better, soppy bint" he said good naturedly, pulling himself up and shifting to sit next to her, "I would never choose her over you" he promised, taking her hand in his and kissing it, "I proved that when I staked her" he added much more quietly, looking down at their joined hands and then back up at Buffy's face. Shocked was a understatement.
"Buffy, I'm not gonna deny Dru meant a lot to me" he tried to explain "I have to thank her at least for making me what I am, and letting me be around long enough to meet you, but when she turned up in LA, even crazier than before, me and Angel knew something had to be done"
"Wow" was all the Slayer could find to say.
"This been on your mind long?" he asked and she nodded slightly, feeling bad for not sharing his own worries or noticing that something was bothering her.
"Y'know you were right before" he admitted, "Something you said on the plane, when you were half asleep...just made me think is all" he told her, pushing her hair out of her face.
"I don't remember" she frowned, making him laugh in spite of himself.
"That would be because you weren't awake pet" he pointed out. He turned serious again as he continued to explain, "You told me you had a dream, and we were on the beach...in the sun"
"Oh Spike" she interrupted him, "That doesn't mean anything!" the Slayer protested, "I love you, really love you. It was just a dream I don't care about all that"
"It's sweet of you, luv" he smiled, "but it's a pack of bleedin' lies" he told her simply, "We're not going to have a normal life, Slayer, not ever. No sunshine or patter of tiny feet, I can't give you any of that..."
"Ssh" she hushed him, putting a finger to his lips as tears formed in her eyes, "All I want you to give me is yourself, Spike" she told him, "The rest of it, it doesn't matter. I used to think it did but...I guess it wasn't just the gang who grew up, it was me too" she smiled, leaning in to kiss him. It was a sweet promise that they both understood and when they pulled away just a little, foreheads still touching, they were both smiling.
"If we can make this work, luv, it'll be a bloody miracle" he told her, making her laugh lightly. It was a kind of joke though there was something serious beneath it.
"Stranger things have happened" she reasoned, many crazy events from her life springing to mind, until Spike leaned in to kiss her again, ensuring she was thinking of nothing but him.
The End??? - Epilogue already posted