"Ruby, I need to ask you for a favor."
"No, Ren, I can't give you a make over. I've got far too much homework."
I squinted, and looked around, very confused. Where'd that come from? Did I need a makeover or something? "Errr...well...can I stay at your house tonight, but not actually stay at your house...like...ya know, you tell my parents that I'm at your house if they call?"
"You gotta plan things out better than that. In order to get away with such a thing you gotta think it through. I thought better of you, you being the genius that you are."
I sat down, flattered by her comment, and prepared to explain the minor details of my plan to her, when I was interrupted abruptly by Nelson, "Oh no. You shouldn't tell you parents you're going to a certain place and not actually being there. It's not safe. Something could happen to you and then no one would know where you are, and you could...you know...the d-word."
"Thanks, Nelson, really." I turned back to Ruby, "As I was about to say...I'll come over to your house and stay there for a while, so that if my parents go by or something, they'll see my car at your place, and they'll think that I'm there. Around six or seven, I'm gonna leave, then I'll come back around lunch time the next day, and stay with you a bit more."
She shrugged, "Sounds good."
Monique finally decided to say something. She'd been quiet without her sidekick. I needed to find her someone new, but it was hard to replace people, and it wouldn't be good to do it this soon, of course. "So...Ren, what's going on?" She moved her eyebrows up and down, "Where're you going, other than Ruby's?"
"Eh...Tawny's."
"Oh." She straightened herself up, and went back to her food.
Ruby mouthed, "She's not too keen on the you and Tawny thing."
"What's going on at Tawny's, some kind of party?" Nelson asked. The poor guy was clueless.
"Yeah...in their pants." Ruby mumbled, then giggled, and coughed in an attempt to cover it up. She was getting a whole lot of amusement from this.
I shook my head, "We're working on a project together."
"Sex!" Ruby coughed again.
Nelson was oblivious like I wished my mother was, and he looked at Ruby concerned, "Do you need a cough suppressant?"
I laughed, followed by Ruby, and even Monique joined in, while Nelson sat very dazed, and confused. He couldn't understand why we were laughing at Ruby's cough. Then the laughter was halted, Tom approached, looking very serious. All heads turned to him. He cleared his throat, then handed me a slip of paper, "I've been asked to deliver this to you at all costs, and if I did not, then I would be beaten by a girl, so I assume it is of the utmost importance."
"Well...open it, Ren." Ruby encouraged.
I unfolded it and read.

Get over here, plans are needing to be discussed. I was told by Twitty, who was told by Louis, who was told by you, that you had a plan. Would be good to fill me in, yes?

Laughing a little, a stuffed the paper into my pocket, "You guys, I've got business to attend to at another table." I looked at Tom, "You escorting me too?"
"Yes, I am." He said, politely. "My leader commanded it, and I must obey."
I rushed over to Tawny's table, giving little thought to the future serial killer, and squeezed in between her and Louis on the seat, then explained my plan. She agreed, rather happily, to say the least.
"This note thing is starting to be kinda fun." She said, after approving my plan.
"Quite. I should write to you more."
"Yeah. You're turning me into a loser." She squeezed my thigh lightly under the table where no one could see. Then she ran her hand up and down the inside of my leg. I didn't stop her, I couldn't. We were sitting close enough together to hide everything from view, and I attempted to act like she was doing nothing.
"Aww...I'm sorry." Both of my hands were above the table where everyone could see them.
She continued to gently touch my leg. Every light touch felt more like a flame that shot up my body. She smiled oddly, like she had when she wanted to peek in on Donnie and Twitty at my party.
"Fuck this..." I said softly.
"What?" She said a little confused, and not hearing me properly, I guess. I was saying it more to myself anyway.
I didn't have far to go, but I nervously, moved my face to hers, and our lips together. She was more tense than she'd ever been, and she seemed to have gone completely stiff on me like she did when I hugged her most of the time. I heard plates and silverware clatter, and I moved back from her to look around and see what I'd caused. So much for keeping it hushed for a while.
Eyes were on me, not only at the table I was at, but from surrounding ones, and word spread fast. There were people getting up to look, but they saw nothing. The show was over. It wasn't much of one. I wouldn't have paid to see it.
An individual that I hadn't spoken to for much of the year strolled up, and stood on the opposite side of the table from me. She was slender, walked gracefully, and radiated with a bitch-aura if there is such a thing. She flipped her dark hair from her shoulder with one hand, then put them both on her hips, and titled her head at me. I attempted to read her expression. I wasn't sure if it was anger, happiness, or sheer amusement at the situation.
"Well...Ren...I guess this means that Bobby Deaver is on the market yet again, and you're no longer a threat to us at all?" She said.
"Yes, Mandy." I groaned. With my luck she'd probably fall for Tawny, and try to steal her from me like she'd done with Bobby in middle school.
"That's good." She said no more, and walked off, arrogantly.
That was easy enough. I looked back at Tawny. She was blushing...a lot. "Uh...you ok?" I asked poking her with one finger, "Still breathing?"
"Yep...wow. That was that Sanchez girl, yeah?" She asked wide-eyed.
I nodded.
"God, Ren, you've got balls..." Twitty muttered.
"She doesn't...I'm pretty sure." Tawny pointed out, slightly defensively.
Twitty continued, "Dude...I wish I could be that open with Donnie...and just like tell-" He stopped mid-sentence.
There was a second of silence. He hadn't realized he'd said that out loud, I don't think. Louis slowly turned to look at him across the table, "What?" He shook his head, then said, much louder, "What?!"
The shaken boy ran his hand through his hair, a nervous habit. "I meant...errr...uh... Donnie...she's a girl in my...err...Algebra class, dude."
Louis shoved a few French fries into his face, then shook his greasy fingers at his best friend, "No, Twitty. You're talking about my brother. Don't lie to me, man."
"No, Louis, I swear...no." He protested.
"Twitty, dude, why didn't you tell me? Didn't you trust me?" He seemed very heart-broken over this, and Tawny and I sat silently, observing.
"No...it's not that. It's not like...shhh...Let's not talk about it now, ok?"
"Yes, we need to talk about this now!" Louis slammed his fists onto the table. "I'm in love with Monique!"
There was complete silence. Total silence. Utter silence. Deafening silence. Again, the lunch-goers were diverted from their food and back to the table where I was. This was getting me far more attention than I wanted. A tiny kiss, had caused chaos.
I turned and saw Monique, a few tables away. She covered her mouth, and her eyes looked as if they would project themselves out of her head in seconds. Louis was facing away from her, looking far too terrified to turn around.
Tawny tapped me on my shoulder, "I'm way hotter than her, right?"
"Of course." I whispered, then realized Monique was approaching us, walking like she was on a mission.
"Louis!" She squealed, and slapped him on the back.
"Errr...I...uh..." He turned around, "Hi...Monique..."
She put out her arms, "I'm in love with you too! I have been ever since that dance when I was in eighth grade! The Sadie Hawkin's dance!"
Louis' mouth fell open, then twisted into, what I found to be, a very frightening smile-like expression. A few incomprehensible noises were made. Then he leapt up, nearly knocking me over backwards, and shoved his face right between Monique's, very large breasts, and embraced her for a hug.
Monique laughed loudly, and I heard Louis say something, very muffled, that sounded like "Boob Heaven".
Tawny heard the phrase as well, and again, tapped me on my shoulder, "Do you like my boobs?"
"Yes!" I shouted, over the noise.
"That's damn good to know!" She yelled, over the raucous that had erupted in the normally calm cafeteria. The bell rang, and the people scattered while talking endlessly about the events that had unfolded in front of the entire school during lunch. After I got up, Tawny put her arms around my waist from behind, and said, "Today's been interesting, and I expect to be getting many phone calls this afternoon, which will be likely to interrupt us."
"Huh?"
"You'll see." She quickly told me, then disappeared quickly in the crowd of people, leaving me to stand there.
I watched the last person leave the cafeteria, and I stood there between tables, holding my books. I smiled, then walked out. The talk of the school was, as expected, the odd things that unfolded at lunch, and as for those that were too far away to see what happened, they ended up with farfetched stories. My favorite of the day was that Tawny and myself were making out on the table and kicking lunch trays all over the place. Someone even claimed to be hit by one of these flying trays. I didn't mind the rumors, didn't care, I was happy. Really happy. For once. All of the awards, and good grades I'd gotten had never made me this happy.
At the end of the day, I was happy, Tawny was happy, but seemed to be concerned with interruptions in our activities, Louis was not only happy, but giddy like a school girl, Twitty was rather stunned, and Tom was, for some reason, being very mopey.
I stopped by my own house to get my belongings, and drop off Louis, Twitty, and Tawny. On my way out, I yelled to Louis, "Tell mom and dad that I'm staying at Ruby's, and to call if they need anything!"
"Ok, sis!"
"If you say that one more time, I'll rip your heart out with my bare hands!" I heard Tawny shriek.
"What? Sis?"
I exited before I could hear any more, and drove to Ruby's. I had no urge to be a witness to such a horrid crime. The moment I stepped in, she greeted me, "Ren, I have a great idea!"
"Mmmkay..." I said, sitting down on the couch.
She plopped down next to me, "Leave your Jeep here, duh!"
That would help. Tawny lived a whole five minutes away. "Yeah, Ruby! That would work! I should call Tawny and tell her to stop by here on her way home, and we can walk together."
"How romantic..." Ruby said in a disgustingly dreamy voice.
I grabbed the phone from the end-table, and dialed my own number, wondering what had happened to all of Ruby's homework.
"Yellow?" Said Louis.
"Give Tawny to me."
"I already did, sis." There was a pause, an odd noise, then shrill feminine screams that could only be from my little brother.
"Hey Ren. Miss me already?" Tawny said, nicely.
"Of course I did. Uh...on your way home come by Ruby's and I'll walk with you. I'm leaving my Jeep."
"Good job."
"Yeah, I know. It was Ruby's idea."
"That scares me...I...should go now before Louis hurts himself with the blender."
"Bye."
"Bye-Oh God, Louis, don't put that in there!" She screamed and hung up.
I looked at Ruby after hanging up the phone, hoping she had something to keep me amused. She just looked back at me, almost like she wanted the same thing. I shrugged, then she shrugged, and turned on the TV. I started to think our friendship had been killed by this bizarre relationship of mine.
"Any new gossip?" I asked, finally.
"Um...a lot of the most popular gossip was revealed today at lunch, so it's no longer gossip."
"C'mon, Ruby." I encouraged, "There's gotta be somebody we can talk about...for old time's sake...and to pass the time..."
Ruby pondered, and continued looking for something on TV, "Oh...I know!" She blurted out suddenly. The thought had just struck her in the head at that moment. "Nelson likes somebody...dunno who. Tom has a thing for Louis-"
"I knew that last one. I've been thinking it forever."
"Oh really?" She looked at me suspiciously, then burst into laughter.
"What?" I tried to narrow my eyes and look menacing.
"I just thought...of...something else..." She said between cackles.
"Well, tell me." I crossed my arms, not liking not knowing what was funny.
"You and Tawny..."
"What about us?"
Ruby took a deep breath, then spoke again, more sensibly this time, but not looking at me, "Ren, you don't know anything about anything."
"Huh?"
"Sex, Ren."
"So?" I wasn't sure if I should be offended or not, but I wasn't at the moment.
"Well...you like...have no experience."
I squinted, "I think I've been doing fine so far." I hesitated, "Do you want me to practice on you?"
"Hell no!"
Laughing, I said, "That's good."
"Don't scare me like that..." She muttered.
I got my bag out of my Jeep, then went and sat some more. I felt like I was waiting for my turn to go talk to the Dean of Admissions at a college. I had that nervous, but excited and happy feeling. Ruby and I did our nails, and ate junk food. Her parents left us completely alone, and around six o'clock, the door bell rang. I jumped up and peeked out the window to see who it was before answering it.
Tawny.
I straightened my shirt, and looked at my hair in the reflection before opening the door, "Hi."
"Should I come in, or are we going?" She asked, peeking around me to look inside the house.
"You can come in for a second, I guess."
"Ok." She stepped in, "Ruby doesn't hate me, does she?"
"Nah." I said, and walked into the kitchen. She followed me.
Ruby waved, "You two leaving?"
"I guess so."
"Ok. Bye. Call me tomorrow and tell me what happens!" She started to shoo us out. She was cooking dinner for herself.
Tawny glared at me, and I attempted an innocent smile. "Thanks Ruby." I said before grabbing my stuff, "I'll...be coming back here tomorrow."
"Oh yeah. Forget calling me."
We walked out quickly, and I shut the door behind us, "Uh..."
"What was that about?"
"Um...nothing?"
She glared at me.
"Nothing, really." Her hand found her way to mine, and we started down the sidewalk.
"Hmph."