Love Hina: Showdown
Chapter Two!
By Lord LeChuck the Wonder Writter
A fanfiction
Disclaimer: This still belongs to someone else.
Note: This diverges, at some point in the anime. I haven't seen it in a while, so I'm not sure where. But you'll know it when you see it. Oh, it's also kind of a far-flung future thing, but I saw Kill Bill a while back, and kind of thought it was cool. So expect something like that, maybe.
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The sun rose upon the shores of Japan as it always did, spreading bright rays of light across the beaches, through the gleaming stone and crystal spires of the largest and most important city of the world.
The ravages of the War of Four Harridans still marked the world, though their impact was remarkably lessened through the benign blessings of the Hand of the Emperor.
There was a bustling in the city, though subdued from what it had been centuries before.
***
"Grandpa, Grandpa!" the child insisted, tugging at his elder's sleeve. "Tell me a story about the War?"
"Ah, the War," the old man reminisced, turning his sorrow-filled eyes to the brown-haired child before him. He managed a weak smile, blossoming into true joy after a few moments. "The War changed all the world as we knew it, but it is history ... where would we be without it?"
"Underneath the devilish yoke of feminista authority?" the child hazarded.
"Sounds about right."
***
This is the future that Keitaro dreams of in his bed. He is covered with a blanket, thick enough to keep out the winter cold, though it is the height of summer. See how he turns, uncomfortably in his sleep, his body aching from the punishment he has withstood. See how he grimaces at the physical sensation. See how tears come to his eyes, even in sleep.
Know that his tears are for no physical pain.
Look deeper, through the shallow future of his distant dream, and study the workings of his psyche.
***
First and foremost, he needed justification. His mind was a ponderous machine of war, but once moved into position, quickly fired off multiple rounds of ammunition, spreading destruction against all who opposed him.
But he needed the proper motivation to manage the mental re-alignment he was searching for.
So.
The girls hurt him. Well, that could be annoying.
What really bothered him though, was that the girls were merciless and uncaring about his feelings. They didn't treat him with respect!
Wait. This needs to be investigated. Why would he resent that?
Ah. He felt betrayed, because behind their cute exteriors, they were all truly ... meanie-heads. Nasty nasty nasty no-good people. And it wasn't right that people so hot should be such stuck-up and cruel harbingers of destruction bent against his libido!
Er.
His lifestyle!
Good enough.
But this also stood to reason that everyone cute was evil.
No, that's not right. Shinobu was kind of cute, and she wasn't evil.
Anyone who he found attractive was evil?
Haruka wasn't really attractive, at least, to him. She was his aunt, after all. So that made sense. Shinobu was cute, but not attractive.
That must be it.
Therefore, to get around the situation (once his revenge was appropriately doled out), he would obviously need to go after someone who was unattractive.
But all the girls were, after a while.
Hmm.
***
"Damn," Keitaro swore, sitting up and peering about his room, suddenly wide awake. "Guess I'm gonna have to be gay."
There was a long, uncomfortable silence between him and his empty room.
"I think I can handle this," he concluded before going back to sleep.
***
Morning came, as per usual.
The sun rose upon the shores of Japan as it always did, spreading bright rays of light across the beaches, through the gleaming cement and glass spires of one of the largest and most important cities of the world.
Keitaro lay in his room, staring at the ceiling. "Haitani, or Shirai?" he mused. "Moving towards Seta would make Haruka-basan angry. Then she might _mean_ it when she beat me, and that would put her on the 'vengeance' list. That wouldn't be good."
He turned over in his bed, frowning.
"This being gay stuff is harder than I thought."
His door opened at that point, and Mutsumi walked in, smiling at him brightly. "Good morning, Kei-kun!" she chirped. "Are you feeling better?"
"I might be," Keitaro said slowly, sitting up, and peering at Mutsumi thoughtfully. "Hmm. You know, you're pretty cute, Otohime-chan."
"Why, thank you, Kei-kun," Mutsumi said with a blush. "What brought that about?"
"Just thinking that with you around, maybe I wouldn't have to be gay."
There was a sound from upstairs, not entirely unlike that of Naru's jaw dropping to the floor and lying there.
Keitaro ignored it.
"Anyway, time to study."
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AN: Hmm. Gotta work Mitsune into this somehow.
Chapter Two!
By Lord LeChuck the Wonder Writter
A fanfiction
Disclaimer: This still belongs to someone else.
Note: This diverges, at some point in the anime. I haven't seen it in a while, so I'm not sure where. But you'll know it when you see it. Oh, it's also kind of a far-flung future thing, but I saw Kill Bill a while back, and kind of thought it was cool. So expect something like that, maybe.
----------------------------------------------------------
The sun rose upon the shores of Japan as it always did, spreading bright rays of light across the beaches, through the gleaming stone and crystal spires of the largest and most important city of the world.
The ravages of the War of Four Harridans still marked the world, though their impact was remarkably lessened through the benign blessings of the Hand of the Emperor.
There was a bustling in the city, though subdued from what it had been centuries before.
***
"Grandpa, Grandpa!" the child insisted, tugging at his elder's sleeve. "Tell me a story about the War?"
"Ah, the War," the old man reminisced, turning his sorrow-filled eyes to the brown-haired child before him. He managed a weak smile, blossoming into true joy after a few moments. "The War changed all the world as we knew it, but it is history ... where would we be without it?"
"Underneath the devilish yoke of feminista authority?" the child hazarded.
"Sounds about right."
***
This is the future that Keitaro dreams of in his bed. He is covered with a blanket, thick enough to keep out the winter cold, though it is the height of summer. See how he turns, uncomfortably in his sleep, his body aching from the punishment he has withstood. See how he grimaces at the physical sensation. See how tears come to his eyes, even in sleep.
Know that his tears are for no physical pain.
Look deeper, through the shallow future of his distant dream, and study the workings of his psyche.
***
First and foremost, he needed justification. His mind was a ponderous machine of war, but once moved into position, quickly fired off multiple rounds of ammunition, spreading destruction against all who opposed him.
But he needed the proper motivation to manage the mental re-alignment he was searching for.
So.
The girls hurt him. Well, that could be annoying.
What really bothered him though, was that the girls were merciless and uncaring about his feelings. They didn't treat him with respect!
Wait. This needs to be investigated. Why would he resent that?
Ah. He felt betrayed, because behind their cute exteriors, they were all truly ... meanie-heads. Nasty nasty nasty no-good people. And it wasn't right that people so hot should be such stuck-up and cruel harbingers of destruction bent against his libido!
Er.
His lifestyle!
Good enough.
But this also stood to reason that everyone cute was evil.
No, that's not right. Shinobu was kind of cute, and she wasn't evil.
Anyone who he found attractive was evil?
Haruka wasn't really attractive, at least, to him. She was his aunt, after all. So that made sense. Shinobu was cute, but not attractive.
That must be it.
Therefore, to get around the situation (once his revenge was appropriately doled out), he would obviously need to go after someone who was unattractive.
But all the girls were, after a while.
Hmm.
***
"Damn," Keitaro swore, sitting up and peering about his room, suddenly wide awake. "Guess I'm gonna have to be gay."
There was a long, uncomfortable silence between him and his empty room.
"I think I can handle this," he concluded before going back to sleep.
***
Morning came, as per usual.
The sun rose upon the shores of Japan as it always did, spreading bright rays of light across the beaches, through the gleaming cement and glass spires of one of the largest and most important cities of the world.
Keitaro lay in his room, staring at the ceiling. "Haitani, or Shirai?" he mused. "Moving towards Seta would make Haruka-basan angry. Then she might _mean_ it when she beat me, and that would put her on the 'vengeance' list. That wouldn't be good."
He turned over in his bed, frowning.
"This being gay stuff is harder than I thought."
His door opened at that point, and Mutsumi walked in, smiling at him brightly. "Good morning, Kei-kun!" she chirped. "Are you feeling better?"
"I might be," Keitaro said slowly, sitting up, and peering at Mutsumi thoughtfully. "Hmm. You know, you're pretty cute, Otohime-chan."
"Why, thank you, Kei-kun," Mutsumi said with a blush. "What brought that about?"
"Just thinking that with you around, maybe I wouldn't have to be gay."
There was a sound from upstairs, not entirely unlike that of Naru's jaw dropping to the floor and lying there.
Keitaro ignored it.
"Anyway, time to study."
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AN: Hmm. Gotta work Mitsune into this somehow.