Love Hina: Showdown
Chapter IV (4)
By Lord LeChuck the Wonder Writter
A fanfiction
Disclaimer: I think that guy who did Seven Samurai drew it originally, so its his. Or whoevers.
Note: Read the other chapters for reference. After that, it's good to read Sun Tsu's Art of War, 'cause it makes ya think. It'll also help to have a copy of the Encyclopedia Britannica on hand, because those things are just plain useful.
Note the Second: I haven't written in a while, as I was briefly able to hold down a job and afford medication. But I got laid off and ran out of money for my anti-psychotics, so we're BACK IN BUSINESS, BABY!
----------------------------------------------------------
Lt. Commander Maehara Shinobu, second division, Tokyo Time Police stared over the city-scape below from her 38th floor penthouse office.
It was days like this that made her think of why she had joined the force. About the boy who had traveled so far into the future that he could never come back ... nor did he want to.
About....
"This coffee's cold," she observed, frowning at the teacup in her hands.
#################################3
Flashback
########################3#########
Keitaro woke up.
The action of waking up is a complex one.
It is accompanied, though you do not remember this, by a feeling of absolute serenity.
Of true calmness.
Or perfected self and understanding of ones place within the universe.
For most people, this action takes several lifetimes, which are all compressed and encapsulated into an instant eternity of one-ness.
We do not remember this time, which we use to commune with the very essences of reality around us.
But we have it.
It exists to keep us from waking up screaming.
And it works for that.
Usually, anyway.
"Aww, CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" yelled Keitaro as he rocketed skyward. "How the hell did this happen?"
Of course, we cannot know if he truly said this, as wind velocity did horrible things to acoustic integrity. But we can imagine.
And while we imagine, we can understand that Keitaro has grasped -- in a blind panic -- that moment of perfection again, and continues his participation in the Onesong, blending into reality so completely that no complaint could be uttered against his role in this story. After all, he's part of everything else too, right?
Suu shaded her eyes with one hand and gazed upwards, squinting. "Yeah, that looks about sufficient to launch a Valkyrie," she finally decided.
"Don't you need to build one, first?" Sarah challenged, eyeing Suu doubtfully.
"If you're asking if I could build one, I'm certain I could," Suu replied coolly. "But I don't see how it looks remotely like a turtle, so why bother? It's not aesthetically pleasing."
Sarah frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. "Dang. How can I convince you to build this, and not an actual mecha?"
Suu smiled vaguely. "We all have our vices."
"Like what?" Sarah asked, frowning.
"Go banana!" Suu cheered, jumping into the air and then capering about on all fours like a wild animal.
"...right," Sarah managed after a moment. "What do you suppose Keitaro thinks of when he's up there out of earshot, anyway?"
"Nothing important, I'm sure," Suu said dismissively, turning her attention to the steam catapult that was optimally designed to launch multi-ton aircraft, which currently replaced Keitaro's bed.
Contemplation.
Understanding.
True and complete one-ness with all.
Keitaro felt no emotions, and all emotions.
Knew nothing, and understood everything.
"Ah," he was distantly aware he would think, were he not merged with all of creation for that moment. "Atmospheric re-entry is really neat."
And then there was a pause as all of reality considered this, and then agreed, "yes. yes that is very neat. the lovely flare of oxygen particles that have ignited from friction around your body forms such an interesting shape. and it is us, as well."
"Ah," Keitaro would have thought. "Hey, I wonder if I can experience being Mutsumi's panties, since I'm all of reality right now."
"hmm," reality pondered. "we are. a bit snug. sheer, too. quite sexy. reality is sexy."
"Yes we are," Keitaro would have agreed, somewhat distracted by his body returning to earth, due to impact shortly.
"slides across her skin quite nicely when she moves," reality opined. "the watermelon pattern is kind of cute, too."
"Hmm," Keitaro would have thought. "Well, this is nice, but I've got to get back to being unaware, or else I won't play my roll correctly."
"yes. soft. smooth. quite nice," reality mused.
"...yeah," Keitaro would have ruminated, in a very sigh-like manner, even though it was a rumination and not an utterance. "See you 'round, reality."
"you know, that bra is kind of cute, too. a bit tight, though. about time to switch to a larger size, i think," reality noted.
"...say," Keitaro would have thought, then, looking back at reality from his plunge to the ground (metaphorically speaking, of course (though his impact with the ground was to be quite literal, understand)), "Would you happen to know her three sizes?"
"i am her three sizes," reality didn't really reply, as it was Keitaro, and thus he was already aware.
"Sweet," Keitaro said aloud, returning to himself, and forgetting everything from the moment he was launched airborne. "Wait. What the hell was-- AUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"
The rest of the thought was interspersed with (for some reason) three numbers that a part of Keitaro's mind carefully stored away, and, 'Ow. My. God. I never knew an appendix that was removed could hurt that badly.'
"Back to vengeance," Keitaro croaked.
Crawling into his room in a seething rage, Keitaro maintained his vigilant attitude. Motoko had been dealt with -- denied her ultimate satisfaction!
Now, it was time to deny Naru that same! But what did Naru want?
Keitaro's carefully crafted visage of rage did not alter as he re-entered his bedroom, all evidence of the device Suu had built around him carefully removed (save a stray crate of visibly glowing plutonium), and his bed carefully remade.
"Hmm," he mused, taking the mint from the pillow. "How to make Naru suffer?"
Eyeing the crate of plutonium, and blinking a bit in surprise at it, he broke off his ruminations. "That's not Suu's -- that's mine." Shaking his head, he sealed the lead crate and lobbed it into a closet with the others. "Now. Vengeance."
At that moment, Naru dropped down through the hole in the ceiling, incidentally knocking Keitaro to the ground and landing atop him in a somewhat compromising position, her hands on his chest, her hips over his and her pelvis on his stomach.
"Ack!" she acked.
"Wheeeze," he wheezed.
'But wait,' he thought to himself. 'This is it! The opportunity! What does Naru expect? Me to become weak and apologetic! Instead, I'll be smooth, suave, debonair, and make a clever innuendo!'
"Hey," Keitaro said, catching his breath. "That eager to get down on me?"
'What the hell does debonair mean,' he added mentally.
Naru blinked at this unexpected utterance, and blushed, shaking her head quickly. "No, er, that is, I, uh," she protested somewhat incoherently, much like all of the dialogue in this fic.
(A.N. And HOW!)
Keitaro winked, and managed the willpower to smile hard enough to fire a glint at Naru. "It's okay. I'm here for you, baby," he cooed.
'And "cooed!"', Keitaro's thought pattern objected. 'Where the hell am I coming up with these words?'
"Eep," Naru eeped, putting her fists together, and drawing them up just beneath her nose, covering her mouth in embarrassment as she blushed even more deeply. Her knees drew together, incidentally causing her to slide backwards until she was sitting on Keitaro's lap.
"Oooh," Keitaro exalted, "teddy bear panties, I see. They look quite good on you." He looked up at Naru and winked again. "Think they'd look better on my floor?" he asked lubriciously.
'Waaaaaait a minute. "Exalted"? Are you making this up?' Keitaro's internal monologue complained. 'And what the fuck is "lubriciou..." you know what? Screw it. I quit. I don't get paid enough for this garbage.'
Naru's eyes widened, and her fists quivered, somewhere between 'shocked out of her mind' and 'ready to finally unmake Keitaro so profoundly that no memory of him will remain in the mnesis of all mankind, and even God would say, "Who?" when asked about him'.
Keitaro broke that moment by placing one hand on Naru's exposed thigh, beneath the girl's skirt. "Think you can handle me?" he challenged.
Naru's eyes (and pupils) achieved maximum dilation, and she prepared to unleash the Fist of the Unmaker, the Desolver, Callash, the Devourer Wyrm, and the Enemy against Keitaro -- and then he put his plan into motion.
"No," he said, pulling his hand back and unexpectedly pushing Naru off of him, onto the floor. "You're too young ... have too much focus in your life. I can't corrupt your purity."
Reasserting the fragile balance in Naru's stunned state, he hopped to his feet and sighed theatrically. "You're too innocent, Naru. I'm sorry, my actions were inappropriate. I'll give you your proper distance, now -- and I don't want you to distract yourself with thoughts of ... any kind of relationship between us. You're too perfect the way you are ... me entering your life would change you and tarnish the perfect gem that you are. And, anyway, you have Seta."
Shaking his head sadly, he walked out of the room, pausing at the door. "I think I'll let Mitsune seduce me, just to make sure you don't see me as a viable option. Fare well, Naru," he called before stepping into the hallway.
'Heh,' he thought to himself. 'Perfect.'
'...okay. I take back the whole "Quitting" remark. You. Are. The. MAN.'
'Thank you,' he replied with an internal modesty.
Naru blinked.
And then blinked again. And then raised a slow and hesitant fingertip to her lips, even though Keitaro hadn't made any move to kiss her. "Oh," she sighed. "Oh, wow." She frowned at the little pink hearts floating around her head. "Hmm. I should get my vision checked again." She tapped a finger against her chin.
"But that can wait until after I've convinced Keitaro to seduce me," she decided.
Mitsune stood in the hallway, looking at Keitaro oddly. "Are you ... feeling okay?" she asked cautiously. "That was ... quite an impressive display you pulled off there."
"Thank you," he said modestly. "You up for seducing me?"
Mitsune blinked. "That's forward. I kind of like that. But don't you have a thing for Naru?"
Keitaro pondered this for a moment. "Maybe. How about a three way?" he suggested.
Mitsune gaped at Keitaro. "What are you talking about?" she protested, shaking her head nervously. "I--"
"In!" Naru yelled poking her head out the door and grabbing Mitsune in a hug, incidentally groping the well-endowed woman. "Come on! Let's have some fun!"
"Eh," Keitaro shrugged. "Maybe later. I've got to do some studying."
With that he turned around and walked away, leaving both women to gaze after him.
"Well, if he can resist our combined sexiness and bust sizes, I feel obligated ... even compelled to have my way with him," Mitsune grumped, trying to cross her arms over her chest indignantly, but blocked from doing so by Naru's now rampant groping. "And you calm down! We need clear heads to seduce him!"
Naru pouted, but backed off.
Shinobu turned back around from where she had witnessed the entire exchange, and wordlessly went to consult her portable medical dictionary. "Funny, I didn't think removing an appendix would have THAT kind of effect," she mused, knowing by the fact that her great-grand children hadn't arrived that the Time Stream was evidently unfractured.
----------------------------------------------------------
Author's notes: Suffer, mortals, the might of Lord LeChuck the Wonder Writter!
Chapter IV (4)
By Lord LeChuck the Wonder Writter
A fanfiction
Disclaimer: I think that guy who did Seven Samurai drew it originally, so its his. Or whoevers.
Note: Read the other chapters for reference. After that, it's good to read Sun Tsu's Art of War, 'cause it makes ya think. It'll also help to have a copy of the Encyclopedia Britannica on hand, because those things are just plain useful.
Note the Second: I haven't written in a while, as I was briefly able to hold down a job and afford medication. But I got laid off and ran out of money for my anti-psychotics, so we're BACK IN BUSINESS, BABY!
----------------------------------------------------------
Lt. Commander Maehara Shinobu, second division, Tokyo Time Police stared over the city-scape below from her 38th floor penthouse office.
It was days like this that made her think of why she had joined the force. About the boy who had traveled so far into the future that he could never come back ... nor did he want to.
About....
"This coffee's cold," she observed, frowning at the teacup in her hands.
#################################3
Flashback
########################3#########
Keitaro woke up.
The action of waking up is a complex one.
It is accompanied, though you do not remember this, by a feeling of absolute serenity.
Of true calmness.
Or perfected self and understanding of ones place within the universe.
For most people, this action takes several lifetimes, which are all compressed and encapsulated into an instant eternity of one-ness.
We do not remember this time, which we use to commune with the very essences of reality around us.
But we have it.
It exists to keep us from waking up screaming.
And it works for that.
Usually, anyway.
"Aww, CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" yelled Keitaro as he rocketed skyward. "How the hell did this happen?"
Of course, we cannot know if he truly said this, as wind velocity did horrible things to acoustic integrity. But we can imagine.
And while we imagine, we can understand that Keitaro has grasped -- in a blind panic -- that moment of perfection again, and continues his participation in the Onesong, blending into reality so completely that no complaint could be uttered against his role in this story. After all, he's part of everything else too, right?
Suu shaded her eyes with one hand and gazed upwards, squinting. "Yeah, that looks about sufficient to launch a Valkyrie," she finally decided.
"Don't you need to build one, first?" Sarah challenged, eyeing Suu doubtfully.
"If you're asking if I could build one, I'm certain I could," Suu replied coolly. "But I don't see how it looks remotely like a turtle, so why bother? It's not aesthetically pleasing."
Sarah frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. "Dang. How can I convince you to build this, and not an actual mecha?"
Suu smiled vaguely. "We all have our vices."
"Like what?" Sarah asked, frowning.
"Go banana!" Suu cheered, jumping into the air and then capering about on all fours like a wild animal.
"...right," Sarah managed after a moment. "What do you suppose Keitaro thinks of when he's up there out of earshot, anyway?"
"Nothing important, I'm sure," Suu said dismissively, turning her attention to the steam catapult that was optimally designed to launch multi-ton aircraft, which currently replaced Keitaro's bed.
Contemplation.
Understanding.
True and complete one-ness with all.
Keitaro felt no emotions, and all emotions.
Knew nothing, and understood everything.
"Ah," he was distantly aware he would think, were he not merged with all of creation for that moment. "Atmospheric re-entry is really neat."
And then there was a pause as all of reality considered this, and then agreed, "yes. yes that is very neat. the lovely flare of oxygen particles that have ignited from friction around your body forms such an interesting shape. and it is us, as well."
"Ah," Keitaro would have thought. "Hey, I wonder if I can experience being Mutsumi's panties, since I'm all of reality right now."
"hmm," reality pondered. "we are. a bit snug. sheer, too. quite sexy. reality is sexy."
"Yes we are," Keitaro would have agreed, somewhat distracted by his body returning to earth, due to impact shortly.
"slides across her skin quite nicely when she moves," reality opined. "the watermelon pattern is kind of cute, too."
"Hmm," Keitaro would have thought. "Well, this is nice, but I've got to get back to being unaware, or else I won't play my roll correctly."
"yes. soft. smooth. quite nice," reality mused.
"...yeah," Keitaro would have ruminated, in a very sigh-like manner, even though it was a rumination and not an utterance. "See you 'round, reality."
"you know, that bra is kind of cute, too. a bit tight, though. about time to switch to a larger size, i think," reality noted.
"...say," Keitaro would have thought, then, looking back at reality from his plunge to the ground (metaphorically speaking, of course (though his impact with the ground was to be quite literal, understand)), "Would you happen to know her three sizes?"
"i am her three sizes," reality didn't really reply, as it was Keitaro, and thus he was already aware.
"Sweet," Keitaro said aloud, returning to himself, and forgetting everything from the moment he was launched airborne. "Wait. What the hell was-- AUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"
The rest of the thought was interspersed with (for some reason) three numbers that a part of Keitaro's mind carefully stored away, and, 'Ow. My. God. I never knew an appendix that was removed could hurt that badly.'
"Back to vengeance," Keitaro croaked.
Crawling into his room in a seething rage, Keitaro maintained his vigilant attitude. Motoko had been dealt with -- denied her ultimate satisfaction!
Now, it was time to deny Naru that same! But what did Naru want?
Keitaro's carefully crafted visage of rage did not alter as he re-entered his bedroom, all evidence of the device Suu had built around him carefully removed (save a stray crate of visibly glowing plutonium), and his bed carefully remade.
"Hmm," he mused, taking the mint from the pillow. "How to make Naru suffer?"
Eyeing the crate of plutonium, and blinking a bit in surprise at it, he broke off his ruminations. "That's not Suu's -- that's mine." Shaking his head, he sealed the lead crate and lobbed it into a closet with the others. "Now. Vengeance."
At that moment, Naru dropped down through the hole in the ceiling, incidentally knocking Keitaro to the ground and landing atop him in a somewhat compromising position, her hands on his chest, her hips over his and her pelvis on his stomach.
"Ack!" she acked.
"Wheeeze," he wheezed.
'But wait,' he thought to himself. 'This is it! The opportunity! What does Naru expect? Me to become weak and apologetic! Instead, I'll be smooth, suave, debonair, and make a clever innuendo!'
"Hey," Keitaro said, catching his breath. "That eager to get down on me?"
'What the hell does debonair mean,' he added mentally.
Naru blinked at this unexpected utterance, and blushed, shaking her head quickly. "No, er, that is, I, uh," she protested somewhat incoherently, much like all of the dialogue in this fic.
(A.N. And HOW!)
Keitaro winked, and managed the willpower to smile hard enough to fire a glint at Naru. "It's okay. I'm here for you, baby," he cooed.
'And "cooed!"', Keitaro's thought pattern objected. 'Where the hell am I coming up with these words?'
"Eep," Naru eeped, putting her fists together, and drawing them up just beneath her nose, covering her mouth in embarrassment as she blushed even more deeply. Her knees drew together, incidentally causing her to slide backwards until she was sitting on Keitaro's lap.
"Oooh," Keitaro exalted, "teddy bear panties, I see. They look quite good on you." He looked up at Naru and winked again. "Think they'd look better on my floor?" he asked lubriciously.
'Waaaaaait a minute. "Exalted"? Are you making this up?' Keitaro's internal monologue complained. 'And what the fuck is "lubriciou..." you know what? Screw it. I quit. I don't get paid enough for this garbage.'
Naru's eyes widened, and her fists quivered, somewhere between 'shocked out of her mind' and 'ready to finally unmake Keitaro so profoundly that no memory of him will remain in the mnesis of all mankind, and even God would say, "Who?" when asked about him'.
Keitaro broke that moment by placing one hand on Naru's exposed thigh, beneath the girl's skirt. "Think you can handle me?" he challenged.
Naru's eyes (and pupils) achieved maximum dilation, and she prepared to unleash the Fist of the Unmaker, the Desolver, Callash, the Devourer Wyrm, and the Enemy against Keitaro -- and then he put his plan into motion.
"No," he said, pulling his hand back and unexpectedly pushing Naru off of him, onto the floor. "You're too young ... have too much focus in your life. I can't corrupt your purity."
Reasserting the fragile balance in Naru's stunned state, he hopped to his feet and sighed theatrically. "You're too innocent, Naru. I'm sorry, my actions were inappropriate. I'll give you your proper distance, now -- and I don't want you to distract yourself with thoughts of ... any kind of relationship between us. You're too perfect the way you are ... me entering your life would change you and tarnish the perfect gem that you are. And, anyway, you have Seta."
Shaking his head sadly, he walked out of the room, pausing at the door. "I think I'll let Mitsune seduce me, just to make sure you don't see me as a viable option. Fare well, Naru," he called before stepping into the hallway.
'Heh,' he thought to himself. 'Perfect.'
'...okay. I take back the whole "Quitting" remark. You. Are. The. MAN.'
'Thank you,' he replied with an internal modesty.
Naru blinked.
And then blinked again. And then raised a slow and hesitant fingertip to her lips, even though Keitaro hadn't made any move to kiss her. "Oh," she sighed. "Oh, wow." She frowned at the little pink hearts floating around her head. "Hmm. I should get my vision checked again." She tapped a finger against her chin.
"But that can wait until after I've convinced Keitaro to seduce me," she decided.
Mitsune stood in the hallway, looking at Keitaro oddly. "Are you ... feeling okay?" she asked cautiously. "That was ... quite an impressive display you pulled off there."
"Thank you," he said modestly. "You up for seducing me?"
Mitsune blinked. "That's forward. I kind of like that. But don't you have a thing for Naru?"
Keitaro pondered this for a moment. "Maybe. How about a three way?" he suggested.
Mitsune gaped at Keitaro. "What are you talking about?" she protested, shaking her head nervously. "I--"
"In!" Naru yelled poking her head out the door and grabbing Mitsune in a hug, incidentally groping the well-endowed woman. "Come on! Let's have some fun!"
"Eh," Keitaro shrugged. "Maybe later. I've got to do some studying."
With that he turned around and walked away, leaving both women to gaze after him.
"Well, if he can resist our combined sexiness and bust sizes, I feel obligated ... even compelled to have my way with him," Mitsune grumped, trying to cross her arms over her chest indignantly, but blocked from doing so by Naru's now rampant groping. "And you calm down! We need clear heads to seduce him!"
Naru pouted, but backed off.
Shinobu turned back around from where she had witnessed the entire exchange, and wordlessly went to consult her portable medical dictionary. "Funny, I didn't think removing an appendix would have THAT kind of effect," she mused, knowing by the fact that her great-grand children hadn't arrived that the Time Stream was evidently unfractured.
----------------------------------------------------------
Author's notes: Suffer, mortals, the might of Lord LeChuck the Wonder Writter!