Never Cross Computers With The Inuyasha Characters
Chapter One - Free Computers! What's a computer?
Xueyan: Hey everybody! It's Xueyan here... and I will be giving each of the Inuyasha characters computers! This is a funny story of what might happen if you give them computers! I will be giving away computers to these people... Kagome, Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, Kouga, Shippo, Naraku, Kikyo, Sango, and Miroku. Lets go!
Goes to Kagome's house
Xueyan: Hey Kagome!
Kagome: Who are you barging in from my window? We have a door you know.
Xueyan: Uhhh... guess I didn't see the door... SORRY... hey Kagome mind if you let me in from your front door?
Kagome: Sure.
Xueyan: Hey Kagome, I'm doing a story, about all the Inuyasha characters having a computer, with internet and all.
Kagome: I doubt Inuyasha will have much common sense to use a computer and I already have a computer. By the way tell Kouga I said "hi!"
Xueyan: No biggie! I'll take care of your piece of crap!
Throws Kagome's old computer out her window
SMASH!
Kagome: MY COMPUTER!!!!
Xueyan: Oh shut up! I brung a new one!
Kagome: IT HAS MY HOMEWORK ON IT!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!
Quietly leaves Kagome's house
Xueyan: Crosses Kagome's name off the list Okay, next is in the Feudal Era, Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, Sango, Miroku, Kouga, Kikyo, and Naraku...
Goes to find Inuyasha
He is sleeping in a tree
Xueyan: Hey dog boy! Get your ass down here now!
Inuyasha: Waking up from a fantasy when he and Kagome were married Wench! What do you want!
Xueyan: By order of law you cannot call me wench.
Inuyasha: Fuck you wench. What do you want?
Xueyan: Getting mad I am gonna give you a computer and you will take it with no second thought.
Inuyasha: What the hell is a computer?
Xueyan: You'll find out soon.
Crosses off Inuyasha's name off the list
Xueyan: What a rude bitch he is... OKAY next is to Fluffy's house!
Arrives
Xueyan: Daaaaaaaaaaamn he got a big house... like mansions put together to make this mansion... where the heck's the doorbell or the knocking whatchamacallit?
Sesshomaru dashes at me with his claws at my neck
Sesshomaru: What are you doing here?
Xueyan: Cough I... am... h-here... to... give... you.... a stinking computer! LET GO OF ME!
Drops me
Xueyan: Now you REALLY need to cut your goddamn long nails... OK where do you want this computer to be?
Sesshomaru: Sesshomaru doesn't need things such as these computers you speak of.
Xueyan: So that means you want it in your room right... sure okay be right back!
Dashes into house
Sesshomaru: HEY GET BACK HERE I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!
Gets out of his house
Xueyan: Okay it's in your bedroom and by the way, nice sheets and its a big bed. Did you marry Rin yet?
Sesshomaru: Go now or I will rip the living flesh from your bones.
Rin: Do you need me Sesshomaru-sama?
Sesshomaru: Get back inside the house Rin and lock all doors.
Rin: Okaaaaaaaaaay...
Xueyan: BYE!
Crosses Sesshomaru's name off the list
Xueyan: Damn Sesshomaru MY NECK HURTS!!!! I'm gonna sue you for everything you own! You almost killed me you fricken... fricken... damnit I'll think of an insult later. Next is... SHIPPO!!!! FINALLY SOMEONE THAT'S NICE AND CUTE AND ADORABLE!
Shippo: Whatcha doing?
Xueyan: AAAHHHHHH!!!! Who's that?
Shippo: Me.
Xueyan: Who the hell is me?
Shippo: You swear alot like Inuyasha.
Xueyan: Oh its you Shippo! Here's a computer where do you want me to put it?
Shippo: I guess by Kirara and Sango would be okay.
Xueyan: Oh! Sango and Miroku are there too?
Shippo: Nope, only Sango and Kirara, Miroku is harassing girls in the next village.
Xueyan: So obvious.
Brings out computer and sets it by the tree Shippo wants it by
Xueyan: Hey Sango!
Sango: And who might you be?
Xueyan: Oh I'm Xueyan, a person who must give you a free computer.
Sango: Whats a computer?
Xueyan: Details are unimportant.
Leaves, crosses off Shippo's name and Sango's name off list
Xueyan: Holy shit I'm tired... =.=;;... next is Miroku, Naraku, and Kikyo.
Arrives in the village with girls running all over the roads
Xueyan: What is happening here?
Random Girl: A man is running around trying to rape the girls! AND WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY NARAKU WITH KIKYO AT HIS SIDE!
Xueyan: Damn that hentai houshi (hentai houshi - Pervertive Monk)! Takes out bullwhip Hey Miroku! Get your hentai ass over here!!
Miroku arrives and drops on his knees, starts saying "Will you bear my..."
Xueyan: Interrupts Before you even think about finishing that pervertive statement, NO!!!! NOT IF MY DEAR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!!!!
Miroku: Cries What are you here for then? I was peacefully asking all the girls in the village to bear my children before you arrived.
Xueyan: IS GIRLS YELLING AND SCREAMING AND HIDING FROM YOU WHAT YOU CALL PEACEFUL?!
Miroku: Pervertive smile Oh yeah.
Xueyan: DOUBLE SMACK Fricken hentai here's your computer! Drops it in his lap
Miroku: Now yelping in pain OUCCCCCCCCCCH!!!!
Xueyan: Hmmm... the computer was suposed to hit his crotch but, oh well it broke his legs. Still good.
Scribbles off Miroku's name off list furiously
Xueyan: FINALLY... Only Kouga, Kikyo, and Naraku left. HEY NARAKU! KIKYO! GET CHA COMPUTERS HEREEEEEEEE!!!!
Naraku and Kikyo in unison: What the fuck is a computer?
Xueyan: Throws a computer in front of each of them I'm SO outta here...
Crosses naraku and Kikyo off list
Xueyan: I can't believe I'm still alive... now for the last one, Kouga.
Didn't realize, but walked off edge of cliff, Kouga catches me
Xueyan: Whoa... I almost took a big fall there. Oh hi Kouga! Can you put this computer in your wolf cave? Thanks! Oh yeah by the way Kagome said hi.
Kouga: KAGOME?! IS SHE STILL WITH THAT MUTT?!
Xueyan: Runs away
A/N (Author's Note): See how dangerous the Feudal Era is and the Inuyasha characters? Let's see if I survive the next chapter, where I will be bringing in some of my good friends from real life and Gunbound! Oh yeah, to answer quetions from reviewers:
caiyoko:
Q: Are you still in love with Sesshomaru?
A: Nope! My friend jaime hit me with a mallet. and I got my common sense back. Besides people rumor and say that Sesshie dates naraku, who I also hate.