How hard could it be?
Kyo-kun: Thank you!!!
Rinoa Redcloak: Thank you!!! Thank you for that wonderful review, how I wish I know what to do with that review thing… And what you meant about the past and present thing…But, hell, I'll just write even if I have a lot of mistakes, which I am sure that it's few… A million thanks, and I wish you could help me with the rest of my flaws… Thank you! ^_^
Kiyomi22: Thank you!!! Please stand by!!!
ManderNaner: Thanks for answering my questions. *sniff* I'm dying to get my hair done, unfortunately, can't. Not now. I'll be launching the Gravi-Yami crossover soon… And I hope you could give me those sites… And I hope somebody finds me a cure for my sickness!!! ^_^ Till then! Thanks!
YukaYuka: I'm not sure how to react… My eyes are too stubborn to stop crying… Waaaah!!!! Thank you for that encouraging review… (I told you I'm shallow… Too shallow, in fact…)
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Chapter 7:
Part One: Unwanted
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Read this please!!! I beg you!!!
A/N: Dedicated to my friend… Michelle, or Mimi-chan, or Mimz, as she's regularly called, whom I trusted, loved, and miss… The friend whom I lost just because I was a jerk over the phone… Well, you see friends, I was talking to Mimz, and due to my lack of attention and 'I-don't-care-attitude' I suddenly said I don't care… And shifted the conversation to what I liked…and she was telling me something very important…. To her, that is… That was a huge mistake. I was such a jerk. I felt bad afterwards when she started to ignore me… Being cold… I didn't know what was wrong. I was so clueless, until I found out what I did…. And so, I'm trying still, desperately clinging on every chance but it seems that even if she's forgiven me, she wouldn't be the same… wouldn't treat me the same. But I still hope she does come back and say… "Mikes, I care. I still care. You're forgiven and I'm happy to be your friend."
Sad, eh? I'm still trying to win her back. (For those perverted thoughts, I am not a Yuri fan. And never will be.)
I need help. Please help me 'coz it's killing me. It hurts. I just want to have my friend back… Help? Advice? Anything? Anyone? Hear my pleadings…
Unwanted: Avril Lavigne
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Chapter 7:
Part One: Unwanted
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Yes, 'tis true: Happiness can be achieved by the mere act of doing what you love to do, even if the world is against you. Even if the time is ticking, going away, making everything too late to happen. Maybe only crazy people would sleep and hug each other while waiting for their turn to die, while the others are trying to escape a HUGE SINKING BOAT. Yes, Titanic. Remember the two couples? What a pitiful sight. For me, that is.
Well, this chapter is not exactly full of angst and tragedy… More like, unwinding the tangles of aches and pains that has been in this hollow concave pumping blood through my veins. This is more like… Relating some bits of my life to my story… Please be gentle and please give this chapter a chance before ignoring some parts. This is very important to me.
I am not embarrassed to share what I have been through.
Truly yours,
Aki Konoe
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1
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The night is beginning to fade.
Her soul is calm now. Her wailings are over, yet again. Her breathing steady, her face contained peace, and everything became serene again. Her screams still in his mind, her suffering still replaying in his head, her voice still echoing, telling him, begging him, to:
"STOP EVERYTHING, PLEASE! PLEASE STOP EVERYTHING!!!"
And he would run, like a mad person, dash up the stairs, try to calm her, and at last, succeeding, he holds her firmly, embraces her body, which feels cold, thin, and…
"Ne…"
"Hmmm?"
"Is everything going to be fine again?"
Hiccups.
"Shh… Everything's fine. I'm right here, don't worry."
"Hmm… You smell so good… But you are so frightened, why is your smell mingling with fear? Why?"
Her voice was so calm, yet so worried. The child in her body was there, she hasn't lost her mind. It's just that… She can sense everything around her.
"What do you mean?"
"I can smell your worry, your fear. It's… sweet, yet bitter. Your mind is clouded. What happened?"
He looks at her in wonder. He wonders, how long has it been ever since he took her as his own? She sounded like Yoda, yes, it was funny, but for such a superior and such a serious tone of voice, mixed with truth, it was unbelievable that it had come from someone her age to the inexperienced and unknowing listener. Her eyes were closed, her forehead creased with worry. She looks so young again. He exhales. He finally lets out words that were not completely true. Technically, that is.
"Ah… nothing… It was nothing… Don't… strain yourself, don't worry."
"I cannot stop it. I cannot help it. My mind is working even if you do not ask me to make it work, my senses are… just to sensitive."
She giggles. Yet it sounded so artificial, so different, it was so foreign in the darkness of the room.
I'm standing on a bridge.
I'm waiting in the dark.
I thought that you'd be here, by now.
There's nothing with the rain.
No footsteps on the ground.
I'm listening but there's no sound.
Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night.
Trying to figure out this life.
Won't you take me by the hand, take me somewhere new,
I don't know who you are but I'm,
I'm with you… I'm with you… Hmmm…
He tried to laugh.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing."
"Tell me, please, what has happened? Or I will be forced to do that."
"Okay. Okay. It was just a dream."
"'Just a dream'? It was not 'just a dream'. Tell me!"
Her voice sounded fierce now, her eyes opened and glistened in the dark, like a pair of two lights shimmering with anger. But suddenly, her eyes welled, her fear visible, and she cowered. She mutters her apologies, that she shouldn't have done that, and he just strokes her hair and whispers…
"Shh… Don't worry I am not angry… I'm sorry… I should've told you instead of you finding it in my head and seeing it for yourself… I'm sorry…"
He kisses her forehead and rocks her to sleep.
"I'm sorry…"
Her eyes close and she snuggles deeper within his arms. She finally lets out a sigh… Of relief and contentment, and she drifts into a never ending maze of thoughts… And she dreams… again… and he is there, to calm her when it comes back…
"Sleep, my dear… I shall be here… always…"
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2
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The night has faded. And the morn has come. Blessed are the souls who whisper gratitude to the creator above. And this is what the green-eyed shinigami does.
"Thank you for this day, Lord, thank you for…"
The shinigami stops. He looks at the man who was lying on his bed next to his. He smiles. Tsuzuki looks so cute in his inu mode. Last night, as Hisoka recalls it, he fed the inu at least a box of chocolates until he was full, while he did his homework and thus had a very peaceful time. He remembers himself falling asleep over his notebook on Math… What he doesn't is how he got up and went to the bed.
"Must've been Tsuzuki…"
He stood up, stretched and looked outside the window. Down below, while the sun was starting to rise, the purple turning to red splashed with blue and yellow, the cars were starting to drive noisily by, the chattering people starting to flood the streets. He sighs. He wouldn't want to swim in an ocean of people this morning. No, no, no. It cannot be. He decides to take an early trip and runs to the bathroom.
He turns the knobs and lets the cold water fall on his head, his hair, his face, his body…
Meanwhile, Tsuzuki had sensed his partner waking up, and he too, stood up and stretched. He looks around. He sniffs. He tries to look for a candy bar… An early morning treat doesn't hurt, does it? He fails. Then suddenly, his ears pop up, his tail wags and he sniffs once again.
He yells for joy. He runs to the direction of the chocolate bar and tackles it. It was perched on the table. It was a huge no-no. He shouldn't have made all those noise, because now, Hisoka scrambled out of the shower, all sudsy and he looked worried. He went out of the bathroom in fright that Tsuzuki's yell was because he was in trouble.
"Tsuzuki---!"
He just looks at the inu on the floor, happily biting off the chocolate bar's delicate inside, while the table was toppled over, the vase shattered. Tsuzuki looks at Hisoka, and then blushes furiously, dropping his treat.
Apparently, the towel around Hisoka's waist was too… low… And was showing off a bit of his skin… Hisoka looked so delicate underneath the morning light that Tsuzuki gaped at the boy's golden-streaked hair and blemish-free skin. And the sudsy look made him more irresistible… so yummy. Just like a caramel bar.
Hisoka seizes the towel up and walks back in the bathroom, looking, very agitated, but embarrassed indeed. He too, was blushing furiously, more redder than the inu's and screams in embarrassment.
"TSUZUKI, YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!"
The inu smiled despite what happened. A piece of Hisoka's skin made him go on a sugar high already that he dismissed the chocolate on the counter top. He fixed the mess and proceeded to fix the shinigami's things for school. He notices his yesterday's assignment on History unfinished and mentally reminded himself that he'll give the boy a break by canceling the said work.
"Hisoka, would you like pancakes for breakfast?"
He called. No answer. He tried again.
"Ne, Hisoka----"
"I heard you. No reason to repeat."
The boy stepped out of the showers, wrapped in a bathrobe. Tsuzuki couldn't help it, he felt… Well, he still wanted to see the _______, and the _______, which is_______.
"No. I'd rather go to school now."
"But why? No breakfast?"
"No. Thank you." And with that Hisoka scooped his clothes and dressed. The amethyst-eyed man just smiled.
A few minutes later, both shinigamis were ready to leave. They left at 6:30. Hisoka looked as if he was ready to kill the mass of people in the streets. He restrained by telling himself, that if he suddenly appeared randomly in school, especially in a place where he expected to be empty but wasn't really, he'll be in big trouble. So he stuck with it. He was scowling when they reached the school, and that was when Hisoka believed Kori.
He never knew that he could be so… attractive. Tsuzuki was irritated, naturally. They parted ways, without saying a word to each other, because, Hisoka was still furious with him about the racket Tsuzuki did that morning. If Hisoka wouldn't die again by being killed by an akuma, he'd die because of heart attack and embarrassment, metaphorically and literally.
Hisoka caught a few words, (which I dare not say right now for he might strangle me to death) while passing a group of girls. He hasn't really known how a female's body looked like, and wouldn't want to know. He wasn't sure if he wants to make out with any female. Well, some girls gossiped about him, of course. He muttered that he wishes he could die but unfortunately, the answer of course is it cannot be. These girls were making him uncomfortable. He looks at them nervously, and naturally, the girls would scream in silence, their mouths wide open for they, lucky them, were given a look by Hisoka, which was neither friendly nor glad, nor pissed, nor…
He feels as if it's déjà vu. This is the second time he bumps into a girl. Well, not an ordinary-looking girl, but a very attractive one than those surrounding him like packs of tigers ready to pounce on him if he gave them the chance to. She smiles, and bows in front of him.
"Sumimasen… I didn't see you…"
Her hair, which was auburn and was past her shoulders, falls gracefully down as she says her apology. Her green eyes suddenly meet Hisoka's. Hisoka on the other hand, was too busy looking at her features and had the girl wave a hand in front of his astonished eyes. Her beauty was… different. He doesn't know how to put it.
"Hello? I said I was sorry."
Déjà vu? He felt as if he knew her from somewhere before.
"Oh… I'm sorry too. I wasn't really looking."
"No, I'm supposed to be the one who's sorry."
"No, I am, really."
Hisoka said.
"Hey. Cut it out!"
She raises her hands up in surrender. She laughs.
"It's no big deal." She shrugs.
She started to walk off. And as she walked away, her back facing Hisoka, she looked back, and smiled. Her eyes were incredible… It was clearly a shade of pure emerald green. Not dark, but light… It didn't need any ray of light to make it bright… It just glowed. Naturally.
Hisoka tried not to look at her too much and drove his eyes on the floor, and walked straight ahead to his class.
The girls stood gaping. Guys too. The other party at Hisoka, then at the girl, and the other party did the same.
"That girl is going on my death list." A girl with long black shiny hair, and a pair of brown orbs was flipping her mane over her shoulder and was sending the auburn-haired girl a look of disgust.
She was Makino Lena, third form student, and Ms. Popular. While she was on top, she tramples on the almost 'Ms. Popular'-s and finishes them off. Literally. (Quoting Elmer Fudd… Be vewy, vewy, afwaid.) She bites. Literally.
Other girls agree. They look after the auburn-haired girl, who obviously caught the new hottie's eye and were determined to put her down, whoever she is. She might be a new student… Or a student's sister… Danger was in their eyes.
The other party, the guys, (the other straight guys, I mean), were eyeing Hisoka's back as he disappeared around the corner. They were thinking the exact same thing. Especially Yokohama Rei, who lost his girlfriend just yesterday because of him. And now that he found new joy within this auburn-haired girl, which he saw just yesterday lurking around the field, he clenched his fist and mutters angrily.
"He is going to be so dead."
Vigorous nods. The team understood. It was chow time. Hisoka's in for a surprise.
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3
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Finally. A girl in her teens thought to herself as she run down the street. Finally, I could get my CD!!! She smiles to herself. Her first paycheck for the month! She hums to herself. Even though the CD was outdated, the album, that is, she wants to buy it. This was one of those rare times, very rare; mind you, that she was able to get out of her… Prison. Anyway, she trots to the store; her face was shining, her smile almost reaching her ears in delight. She laughs silently as she pushes the glass door of the store.
"Hooray for me…"
A woman greeted her as she entered, her nametag said 'Lannie' She smiled back, which was also rare for she wasn't that oblivious to those around her. She was always wary; it was her nature. She always sensed danger everywhere she looked. But today, nothing could come in her way and her CD. She is one of those shallow people who would cry if you gave even just a piece of chocolate for Christmas. Well, she is almost, but not totally like that.
She picks up the album on the rack. She admires the spirit of the young man on the cover. He was not afraid to admit that he has an affair with the famous writer, Eiri Yuki. Yes, I'm talking about Shindou Shuichi, the pink-haired boy. Yes. The album was Gravity. And this is her lucky day to make it hers. She rarely goes out, even though she's always out. Catch my drift? I mean, she is goes out, but can't buy anything, can't do what she likes. She always had to do something.
"Today is my lucky---"
Her cell phone rang. She groaned in dismay. There she was, almost at the counter, and then somebody's calling again? Unfair. She stomps to a corner, answers the phone in a hushed tone, muttering 'Yes' and 'I understand' every now and then. She sighs, clicks the phone shut, and rushes to the counter to pay for BadLuck's Gravity album. And finally, she runs out of the store, and disappears in the crowd.
…Earlier…
Kori paces the room. He wasn't teaching English today, or French, because after all, he also teaches another subject. He couldn't just teach those lessons for five days in a week! He taught other subjects also, for example, Science for the seventh-graders, Literature for the 2nd form students. He couldn't resist the offer. He liked to share what he knows. And even though he flops down on the bed, stressed, something and someone always took that stress away from him.
"Maybe you should get a girlfriend now, Kori-chan. Or a boyfriend." The child said when she was 10. She had this nasty glint in her eyes and a mischievous grin on her pink lips.
"Where'd you get that kind of idea?!" He had remembered himself say back then. Until now, she still asks him to get a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. He was straight, yes, and he wasn't the one who looked at them. They were the ones who looked at him. He still smiles when he recalls her teasing voice and those green mischievous eyes.
After the bell had rung, he busied himself with the papers on the teacher's desk and sat, checking the student's answers and so far, so good.
"Knock, knock?"
Kori looked at the door. There was his life, his little angel, his little devil, his little Ai. Well, she was technically little, but she was much taller than the girls around here though. And so beautiful indeed, this was the same child he cared and still does ever since she was four. He smiles, beckons her to come in.
"Que faites-vous?"
"What're you doing?" She asks in French, in case anybody was listening in. They never liked eavesdroppers.
"Rien."
"Nothing."
"Là-bas vous allez encore! Vous toujours me tourmentez avec ceux-là, le Kori."
"There you go again! You always torment me with those, Kori."
"Okay, okay. Je'm vérifiant seulement quelques papiers. Cela'le s tout. Devrait't que vous êtes quelque part autrement?"
"Okay, okay. I'm just checking some papers. That's all. Shouldn't you be somewhere else?"
"La pratique est d'aujourd'hui. Se reposer fini. Reconnaître résolu. K heureux."
"Practice is off today. Rest finished. Case solved. K happy."
She plays with the pen on the table next to Kori's stuff. She looks inside his bag and fishes out a small notebook. She doodled while waiting for Kori to finish. It was a habit. She always has to have something to be busy with.
"Si, que vous apporte-t-il ici?"
"So, what brings you here?"
"J'étais environ. J'étais… Approuve, vous dire la vérité, je veux acheter le CD j'ai voulu des années il y a. Satisfait?"
"I was around. I was… Okay, to tell you the truth, I want to buy the CD I wanted years ago. Satisfied?"
"Tout à fait…"
"Quite…"
Kori looks at her, his eyes teasing, his smile was suspicious. The girl's brows meet and then she understood. Her eyes widen, and she blushes, the color of her cheeks clashing the clear color of her eyes, which was, emerald green. It glowed with a certain light that he doesn't know if it was normal or not. She quickly retorts.
"Je ne fais pas! Je n'irais jamais ici seulement voir… les GARÇONS!"
"I do not! I would never go here just to see… BOYS!" And at that, Kori just laughed. He was only kidding, of course. The kid is still young. She would understand, someday of course.
"I was just kidding." Kori finally said in Japanese. "There are nice-looking guys around here, why don't you try to look, or even glance at them? Even for a split second."
"Okay…" She finally stands up. "I better leave though and buy my CD. K might be calling again and ask me to do stuff. I hate him."
"I know. Bye."
"Je vous aime, prenez le soin, Dieu bénit."
She kisses Kori's forehead and runs out of the room, her auburn hair swaying with her movement. He looks after her, and saw her bump into one of his students, Kurosaki Hisoka. What a sweet-looking boy. He watched as they say sorry to each other. Kori just smiled.
In Hisoka's shoes…
One… two… three… four… How many hours has it been? Why do I need to stand this kind of horror? Why? Why? Why?! Study hall was normal to me when I was still alive, and I usually liked it. But today, it was a nightmare. It was study hall, and you wouldn't like it if you could feel eyes on your back, and hearing excited whispers about you, obviously, would definitely drive you nuts. This is so ridiculous. I'd rather eat a thousand textbooks than sit here. And that's what I'm doing, and I'm just trying to study to keep them out of my mind, and to keep me from doing anything else they wouldn't like.
The old lady in front of the room was nodding her head. She was asleep, and all the students in the room busied themselves with their interests, and one of them was gossiping. Ha. What fun. Yeah right.
A few more seconds and the bell is going to ring… Hooray. There it is. The students scramble out and I reluctantly reach for my textbook that served as a pillow while I was counting the time. And out of nowhere, this girl approached me.
"Ano… Kuroaski-san?"
A girl, with long, black, silky hair that reached her thigh, caramel-skinned, and brown-eyed smiled at me. She smelled sweet, and by the smell, it was the smell of chocolates. I don't know which perfume but it was… good. Nice. Not too strong. Kinda like how Tsuzuki smells after eating a box. I just stare at her, waiting.
"Do you… Do you… want to join us for lunch?"
She asks shyly, as her friends kept nudging her and sent her envious looks. Why bother with them? Why bother with these girls? Sigh. Maybe they could enlighten me about some things about what is happening recently around Tokyo. Better give it a shot.
"Why, of course. It would be my pleasure." I smile very sweetly as though the most wonderful thing has just happened. Gak! I was on the verge of puking.
Her eyes brightened and she smiled excitedly. This is now or never. Taking a deep breath, and trying to maintain my smiling face, I escorted them to the cafeteria. Better this than Reiji. Rumors have it that it was my dead line, this lunch period My Dead line to be… how do they put it? To be finished off, for good, and rumors have it that Reiji couldn't touch this said girl. Because of their reputations, and because of their families' positions, I guess I'll owe her from bailing me out of trouble technically.
"By the way, I'm Makino Lena." She introduces herself, smiling broadly. This was Ms. Popular batch 2003-04. Ha. Okay, I must agree she's pretty. That's it. Well, news travel fast, even a new student can be saved from trouble. Ms. Makino over here, beside me is very… aggressive and never liked competence. Never. She got straight A's, is good in English, and was… known for getting into girl fights… cat fights… I grin at her. They gawk and gawk, and I try to listen, honestly. Reiji was eyeing me I could sense it and when I turned my face to look at him I even sent him a smile across the field. He just fumed. Lena saw him, and she smiled at him, contempt on her face. They were mortal enemies, as I've heard.
And I shall and must continue to be 'friends' and in good terms with Lena, if I don't want to break anybody else's neck, for example, Rei's.
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4
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Ai is famous for her plays. Her name radiating excellence, as she graced the stage after curtain calls, calling her name for directing such a play, she was the perfect girl, a child prodigy. She got A's, was good at a lot of instruments: Violin, piano, flute, the Chinese Erh-hu, and the guitar. A very well rounded girl, and at the age of thirteen, a National Chess champion, Tokyo Division.
She runs now, with the package bought earlier, and she reaches the manor... This was her home, and her resting place. She would sit on the bay window, overlooking the garden, and play the mystical sounds from the Erh-hu, both reverberating with sadness, and anger, flowing from her hands that grasped the two-stringed instrument, the bow gliding on the strings with elegance. She would sometimes be seen reading anything, from Psychology books to the novels, which were rather less interesting in the eyes of any normal teenager. But she wasn't normal. She never was normal.
Ever since her parents died, she could not be the same. She could feel power flowing in her veins, she could see more clearly, and she feared it would swallow her whole… until she learned how to control herself. She was neither an empathic nor a shinigami. She carried something rather… unique. She never mentioned it to anyone else, except for those near her.
She runs through the field, up the stairs, and into her chamber. She dresses into her usual wear, black clothes. It has been her uniform. Her disguise. K was waiting outside.
He simply shows her a picture and a piece of paper with words written in Chinese. Yes she could understand the language well. And she gets ready. She sets off, a little later into the afternoon.
The sun is starting to fade.
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5
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Tsuzuki's POV
This is such a tiring day. But seeing Hisoka asleep on my lap is the cure to my stress. I smile with delight as I watch his chest go up and down while he breathed. I listen to his steady rhythm, as though it was music to my ears. It was, because everything around Hisoka is special, because he is special… so special.
I could not hide the fact that I am so in love with him. So in love with him. And what bothers me, what pisses me off is this: Ringing phones while I am savoring his beauty.
I stand up and went to the phone.
Tatsumi. The perfect man to ruin my night.
"What?!"
~To be continued~
A/N: Thanks to all of you who have read my story. ARIGATO!!!
P.S. Please don't kill me. ^_^*