How hard could it be?
A/N: Hello avid readers… I thank you for your kindness… WAAAH! I thank you for being there, reading, and making me feel important… Yes, you heard me right. I feel as if I am accomplishing something really good, and I feel… more or less… (I really can't tell for there are, what? A thousand fan fictions here in this site?) Needed… Though you can ditch my story any time…(No!!! I don't want that!!!) I still am thankful for those who have reviewed… *sniff* don't worry, the Gravi-Yami crossover has come… if I get at least 35 reviews for this story, I'll update it. (Does anybody really want it?) ^^ Till then!!! Hi-chan is still running after me!!!
Oh, and yes, it came late, because of the fact that I was too stupid enough not to notice the highlighted December 13th announcement on the homepage: that author's notes may not be posted as individual chapters…! I was locked for 3 days… I found out Jan 9 and was said it will be released around Jan 11 and now I can upload and update again… And so, thank you for tirelessly reading and reviewing… And if possible, please pass the word about this fic… Because if you really want the Gravi crossover, and I receive lotsa reviews… I'll update it… With cliffies again… Should I put a cliffie here? X3
Please read endnote!!! Very important!!! Please!!!! Thank you!!!YukaYuka: First off…You are so mean!!! *pouts* why'd you have to be so?!! Well, anyway, thank you for reviewing, and for answering my questions… You know what? You made me so embarrassed for how many days that I thought I wasn't going to be able to finish this chapter!!! *blushes* Well, technically, as my duo-sempai told me, I was correct for using it… but it was much better for women… Ok, so maybe he's just a few years older than I am… My teacher, Mr. D wasn't able to edit my story so I reverted to slaving over my work until I fished out 'bosom' and changed it…. *cries* seriously, I was so embarrassed… I am still now, and SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO afraid of writing…. My God, help me…. Oh, arachnophobia? Well, just tell yourself that its just a small thing… but if its tarantula or a big humongous beast like the one in LOTR 3: return of the king, I would advice you to: RUN!! I don't have problems with them coz I like them… Oooh… eight legged creatures… Oh, and one more thing… can you be my beta? ^. ^ Thanks!!! Oh, don't worry; I am not mad at you… Would I be asking your help if I was? Thanks again!!!
ManderNaner: I know, I know poor Tsu and 'Soka…(Your other review when you said Poor Tsu and 'Soka…") don't worry your grief will end. There's something up but I won't tell… anyway, you'll like it… ok, so not totally, but it'll help both of them. So there! A hint! Try and guess what would happen… It wouldn't hurt to guess… Right? ^_^ Oh and… nah… I love my OCs… I was just wondering with you guys… Kori is too important… Oh, wanted betas… want to be my beta?! Oh… please?!!! *chibi-neko author on her knees, crying, begging… Tsuzuki-inu style…*
Hmmm… New readers!!!Lara: Wai! New reader!!! Glad to hear you love it!!! ^_^ Thanks for reviewing… and I do hope you review more… ^_^ Oh, the Gravi-Yami crossover has been launched… Hmm, maybe I should really get my hair done this summer… Whaddya think? ^o^ Anyway, if you by any chance would know where I could get his trenchie, please inform me… Please? Pretty please? With lotsa chocolates on top… ^.^
xXLil Yu JahXx: Waaaaah! Another new reader! (Do I sound like a broken record?) Thank you for reviewing!!! Please read and review more!!! I'm so happy I'm crying already!!! Even with just the word "interesting…" it's great to hear you like it…^_^
Jenny Rosbäck: Thank you for reading and reviewing!!! ^_^ I'm so flattered… (Hey, a writer needs to boost her ego after some other Reviewer had crushed it to pieces…^^) I'm sorry, but I think Muraki wouldn't be able to play with him… But I'll try to squeeze it in for ya… Okay with that?! ^_^
Shu-chan: I am so embarrassed. Yes. Totally. I stared dumbstruck at your review, and, flabbergasted I thought I wasn't going to survive the said horror, that I, Aki Konoe, has been once again, stumped by a review… (Yes, this concerns Yuka-san) Regarding the 'bosom' business, it was rather… mild. But this?! MY GOD! PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME!!! I don't speak French! Yes, I admit, and I only made someone translate it for me, and wow, I must say you really know your French well. (Kori: Ahem, more like threatened, ne? You gave Rine-chan a scare…) Will you consider giving me French lessons?? ^.^ A-R-I-G-A-T-O!!! Don't worry, I loved your review… And I actually laughed at my self for being an idiot…Hisoka: that's what you get for treating me this way. BAKA! XD
Ai: Tsk, tsk… Karma, my dear friend…
Aki: *squirm* on with the story:
Shichi: Wai!!! Your review makes me cry even more!!! Why?! Coz you said you loved it!!! Oh, if you wanna know who the assassin is… email me, ok?! And if you want Kori's pic… I mean drawing… just tell me… if you're interested that is… ^o^
How hard could it be?
Warning: Should I say there'd be a cliffhanger? And should I say that there'd be angst and… um… more info lying half-hidden somewhere? And that they, Tsu and 'Soka won't be getting together just yet? Maybe I shouldn't… you'll just kill me… ^o^ Oh and my VagueHints© (VH©) are there… Nasty me, ne?! X3
Disclaimer: Why should we put this if we know we do not own the said animé? Why?! Oh well, its kind of fun anyway… and I want to distract myself… O~kay… Yami no Matsuei is not mine, I do not own any of the characters involved from the series, and I do not make any profit for writing this story. Oh and Don't let go: Weezer, and Back to you: John Mayer… I just own my OCs… hehehe…. X3
Foreword: Please be aware of information and vague hints… and the endnote. Please read. Thank you.
Chapter 10: Don't let go~o~o~o~ 1 ~o~o~o~
The dawn was breaking.
He felt it without even seeing the sun rising in the East. He didn't need to. Its rays were trying to seep through his eyelids as he kept them closed. It goaded him, but he didn't make any move to turn the other way. He was exhausted, of pacing around and around the whole time last night, trying to figure out what to do. And he still didn't have the answer with him. He was slowly being convinced that he shouldn't bother him any longer. Maybe he really should forget it. But forgetting meant ruining the connection more. Thus breaking it apart and may result to a miserable, forlorn, regretful un-life…
There's not much choice… but to go and apologize to him. ASAP. He finally let out a yawn, and stretched. He sat up on his bed; two large eyes were staring at him, obviously its owner was looking after him. 003. The owl hooted at him, asking him a question as he flew down and settled himself on Tsuzuki's bare shoulder.
"Its okay… I'm alright…" Tsuzuki said quietly.
He urged himself to stand up. He really should be doing something good today, and maybe, this was the time to talk to Hisoka, because their situation might go from awful, to dreadful… or if not, most agonizing…
He groaned as he walked to his clothes, which were folded, neatly on a table. (He is not naked and his pants are still on… Sorry? ^_^*)
Today must be quite interesting… he hopes…
~O~O~O~O~O~
The atmosphere inside the office of the Shinigami in JuuOhCho was normal… Normal to our own standards; there was still the casual greetings and the teasing, and there was too much joy in everyone that Tsuzuki was not able to comprehend… because of his grief, he had seemed to lose hope. For him and bon that is.
I mean, if you were in my place, surely you would think that the two should make up and finally admit to each other what they truly feel? I am the official doctor in this division, though Shinigami tend to heal themselves, they still need to be taken cared off and looked upon, because on some cases, you would receive a blow from a demon that was stronger than what you expect them to be and in the process of your shock, you would be glued to the floor as they devour … (Ok, excuse the words; I am getting carried away.) As I was saying, you couldn't help observing and assuming that the two had this special bond because of the concerned looks on their faces whenever they got hurt or injured. Their looks were more than just glancing, or looking, or checking, the worry one their faces concealed the truth and they were too blind to each other… They were too busy on thinking "Does he really like me, or not?" Or "Is he really the one?" Or "Do I really…?" They did not realize it until Tsuzuki went crazy and he actually told Hisoka about it… more like did… And it was quite… Inappropriately done and wasn't in the right time, place and situation…
"Ohayou Wakaba-chan, do we still have some doughnuts left?" I was thinking of getting some breakfast myself since I was up all-night and day… Hah, science, my passion, takes my time and work so eagerly… but it's worth it.
"Ah, ohayou Watari-san, I think Tsuzuki just finished them… Gomen ne…" Wakaba said as she poured some hot coffee in her mug. I stroked a hooting 003, who had just flowed down on my shoulder; he was worried too, about the partners, and I wanted to go down in Chijou to see Hisoka… Sigh. I wonder if he hates me right now? It was clear, that the look and the action he did that day when he saw me comfort Tsuzuki out of worry as friends, that he was jealous, and hurt. Really hurt. Disappointed, maybe…
"Ok. Thanks…"
Tatsumi was on the staff table, paper all around him as he stared intently on one page. I watched from where I stood, namely the coffee machine that he wasn't really reading and he was just staring. And staring. Those blue eyes never did move, and didn't seem to notice the movement around him. He was tapping a pen in a hypnotic rhythm as I was observing… I was bound to ask him on why he is in that matter when he looked up and smiled… rather uneasily…
"Oh, Watari-san, hello. Good to see you out of your lab, finally. How is Tsuzuki-san doing?" There was something wrong in his smile. I know.
"He's fine…" I sipped my coffee warily.
"Okay. Tell him he should go back and look out for possible indications regarding this… There might be something up and under our noses and we wouldn't even notice it…"
His smile faded as soon as he looked at the paper again. Wakaba and Terazuma were eyeing him warily also, they know that something was up and so I decided that I should go and ask them about it. If Tatsumi were upset about something, surely he would say something or even show that he was… Like bossing us around more… Or even a twitch mark… Like what happened when Tsuzuki blew up the library again… Or he could've mentioned something to me… So why…?
"Ne, Wakaba-chan, what's the matter with Tatsumi? Do you know?"
"Ah… ano… Watari-san, we should be the ones asking you that…" Wakaba shifted in her seat.
"Because we don't know also," Terazuma, who was sitting beside Wakaba as he helped her with the paper work, said with a small smile. "Usually he would do something right?"
"Oh… But I don't know also… Maybe I should go and talk to him, ne?"
"Yeah… maybe you should… but be careful, he might just blow up on ya…" Terazuma joked.
"Don't worry, on the usual times my lab explodes, I'm used to it."
"If you say so…"
"But be aware otherwise." Wakaba grinned despite the tension.
I just smiled at them and walked towards Tatsumi. He was still doing that pen-thing which was kind of getting on my nerves… So, I walked up to him on the staff table, and held his pen-tapping hand suddenly, he nearly knocked his coffee mug all over his work. He looked up at me with blank eyes and glasses slightly askew.
Oh good. Hide your emotions then. As if I don't know that something's up. Really now, Tatsumi, do you really need to do this?
"What?" Tatsumi was still insisting on this kind of argument, hmmm? Fine.
I stared at him. And he stared back. Seriously if it had gone any longer, I swear I would've pinched his nose for being so… blank.
First move lies with me. I let his hand go, and he shifted in his seat so he looked up at me, but still not standing up. Really, he does not know how much I want him now, does he? I crave for those lips… They are just so subtle looking I could've sworn they weren't his, but a doll's… Does that mean he hasn't…?
"Watari-san, if you would please hurry up and claim your goal, I would like to finish my work?"
Really, he shouldn't also be cutting in on my delusions about him.
"Tatsumi, why are you so tensed up?" I asked. Yes, bluntly would get his brain jerking up in surprise and make him go all stuttering and nervous. Of course, if you were suddenly asked like that, wouldn't you get all queasy and nervous because you know you've been cornered?
"I—uh---" I could've sworn that Wakaba and Terazuma were trying to fight off their laughter as they watched how uneasy Tatsumi went. It wasn't normal for someone like him to be stuttering would it? No. Tatsumi was the cool, calm and collected type. This was his other side. The side, which he rarely shows anyone, even me…
"Spit it out."
"Is this all why you have approached me?"
"Yes. I was getting irate by the way you kept on banging that pen on the table. Surely, it had done nothing to you, had it?" I eyed him. And I tried to fight off a guffaw. I love seeing him like this. Not that I'm a sadist, but its always fun to see your cool, calm, collected secretary like this… So you can't exactly blame me. Right?
"I was not banging the pen, and thank you for your concern about it. Surely you would care for other's feelings than me---" Tatsumi had stood up and had slipped. Yep. He slipped. That sudden halt, and that sudden movement, I know that there was something up. And this must be because… of Tsuzuki.
"Is it bout Tsuzuki?" I asked innocently. Tsuzuki tend to do things when he's depressed. Like burning a whole laboratory/home base of a certain psycho which by the way, had been suspiciously quiet all these years…
"…" Tatsumi could not say anything. Wakaba and Terazuma, since they were the only ones left in the room, besides us, had quietly disappeared. Literally. They knew this was not the kind of conversation they must listen on to.
"Well?" I settled the cup down on the table, unless something might happen…
"I… Uh… Yes." Tatsumi finally said, dropping his gaze.
"Why? Did he blow up the library again?"
Tatsumi looked up, his eyes flashed relief, and… was it hurt? Maybe I was imagining things.
"Oh."
That's all he said. THAT'S ALL HE SAID?! There is something up!!!
"Spill. There's something wrong, so sp---" I did not expect this to happen. No, not ever. But is he doing what I think he's doing?!
All I could think of is this: Tatsumi's eyes are so damn beautiful. And so were his lips. Which were on mine, as we speak.
~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
I knew it I knew it! I knew I should've just worked in the silence of my office!!! Now I have to endure Watari's inquisitions. Do I need to answer him? Do I really have to tell him what's wrong with me? Its already hard not to look at him, and he's expecting me to say something about… how upset I was with him?! And seeing Tsuzuki did not help at all. Sure, I was glad he was fine, but could you blame me for feeling jealous after seeing Watari and Tsuzuki wrapped up in a what seemed an intimate embrace?! Then Hisoka came, and he should've seen too… And I guess he hates Tsuzuki now. You need not any scientific explanation on why he fled. And any person would see that he loved the older man dearly…
Unfortunately, my mind was not working at the time… and perfectly insane. I could not endure any kind of torture anymore. So, I found myself looking deep into those hazel brown eyes, trying to keep my head to function straight and not to kiss those innocent-looking lips, and knocking the air out of that blond-haired-scientist. Surely, it is not like me to speak of him this way, but a secretary, like me, who is working ever-so-hardly, deserves at least have some delusions of those that attract me to themselves?! It is only just. Oh dear Enma, help me not to lose control... Surely, gods do not lose control of their feelings, or do they?
And so, I must've had, when suddenly, after all those struggle of trying to evade his questions, and trying not to strangle two other colleagues of mine, namely Wakaba and Terazuma, for laughing at me being hopeless under my l---err--- friend's spell, and had expertly sidled their way out of the door, just in time to not see me, grabbing said scientist and kissing him on the lips. No, I am not gay, as far as I know, and yes, I am truly in love with him, as you can see. Really. He just doesn't know it. Why? I do not know… because, let's see, I am not like Tsuzuki?
"Why oh why, did you stop?" Watari said, his smile widening, hazel brown eyes twinkling with mischievousness when I finally let go of him.
"I am so sorry—so sorry---truly, I am so sorry I—err--- I---" I kept on saying, at least tried to, because I could feel my cheeks burning and my---err---lips quivering, either from nervousness, or from hunger and thirst, and making me stumble over it…
"Couldn't you be more eloquent than that?! Surely you jest, dear sir that you, of all people could stammer! Oh my, I must look out for flying fishes and for swimming birds…" Watari did just that. He looked out of the window. And thankfully, or not, 003 was swimming in the fountain, with delight. Watari smiled even wider.
"Seems like scientific explanations could not be used for this matter…" Watari strode on towards me. He looked deep into my eyes, raised an eyebrow, demanding a silent question, that clearly stated:
"Explain."
Sigh. He knows better than I am just not the type of person who could proclaim my emotions out right! Now if you were In my place, would you really want to endure the nagging pain of telling a loved one how you truly feel, knowing that he has the power to reject you the moment those words escape your parted lips?!
"Okay, I saw you with Tsuzuki the other night…"
"And?"
"You were hugging him…"
"Of course, it was for comfort…"
"And…"
"You were jealous?"
"….Ah… yes…"
"Why?"
It was a hard question. Surely you would rather roil over hot live coal rather than answer said question that even the greatest minds at least stumbled over?
"I---"
"What?"
"Love…" He looked at me expectantly. "…You." He stared at me. Shocked hazel brown eyes clouded with confusion. I rephrase that. Beautiful hazel brown eyes stared… I could just lose my self in that stare…
"Seriously?" His forehead marred with confusion, evidently showing in his eyes, he stepped closer, and his eyes played a dance with mine as I dodged them. He suddenly cupped my chin, which made my cheeks burn 100 degrees higher than before.
He forced my eyes to look into his and I closed my eyelids shut as I said yes. I felt like a child, so helpless, and everything came all too sudden, I just realized how fortunate I was for not fainting the first time he had actually asked me on why I stopped kissing him. I would certainly not risk my (un) life losing all those blood if I went on further more… SO does this mean that he…?
"…"
"Yes you are serious!!! I love you too!" And with that, all I saw was blond hair and his arms around me, than I barley noticed how red and how I could not breathe.
I was choking already when he finally let go.
"Gomen, ne, Tatsumi-san…"
"Its… okay…"
"Wai!!! So does this mean… you…? I mean…?" At this, it was his turn to blush.
"Yes."
I smiled. And he jumped up and down, and with a *poof* chibi Watari appeared and was jumping up and down again and wiggled into my arms. It was then when a sharp knock on the door made me drop him resulting to a pained "OW!"
I froze. Tsuzuki. Doorway. Looking at us.
"Tsuzuki!!!" Chibi Watari jumped and went on fussing on how Tsuzuki looked so gloomy and that he should cheer up.
"Hello." At least I managed to say that.
"Um, I came by to say that I'd be going down to Chijou, and thank you for letting me stay for the night…" he grinned, but not unlike his usual smiles when he was on a sugar high…
"Oh. Ok. You're welcome…" I felt sorry. I guess he loves Hisoka the way Hisoka does to him. And now that I know Watari loves… ahem… me too… I guess I shouldn't be disappointed with him… Right?
"Take good care." I said. Watari gave him a hug, his chibi-ness gone, and he whispered something in the inu's ear that made him smile and we watched him disappear, and walk to the lawn, and now, through the sakuras…
The next thing I knew, I was being dragged by a chibified Watari outside the door also…
~o~o~o~2~o~o~o~
Stare all you want. As if I care. He was not in the mood. Why wouldn't he be?! Would you like it if almost all the girls, after finding it out from a particular teacher, and that particular teacher is none other than Kori, as he insisted them on calling him, and the students were actually planning on making him this year's Hottest Boy Alive of the school. He had been almost not himself, smiling forcibly whenever people approached him… Better to be with Miko's friends… and with him… His new tactics were to be close with Takenori Miko, as close as possible, of course, for the sake for his job; he wouldn't want to get fired now, did he?
"So much for the peace and quiet…" Hisoka muttered. He had learned, or rather forced himself to not snap or get angry with Tsuzuki or anything. And he forced himself to forget the incident a few days ago. So, he basked under the sunlight seeping through the window. He cupped his chin in his right hand and leaned, so that he was letting it rest as he looked outside, thinking what to do.
Hisoka's inner voice kept on saying one mantra from ever since that night:
Don't ever let go.
Don't let go…
For he is your only happiness, and as friends you could still be with him… Just DON'T LET GO!!!
Right. Hisoka thought. Whatever. Unaware, he rolled his eyes at the bird that was on the window sill.It cocked its head at the side, looking at him fondly. Like you would understand.
Tsuzuki had come in the classroom and was smiling rather uneasily at the students. Hope you had fun. Hisoka thought miserably as he fought with himself to look or not to look at the shinigami. As if I care. But in truth he cared. He really does. But it seems as if everything was not falling in place. First, there were no possible leads to the case and he was getting frustrated that a simple case like this was taking too much time. Second, there was that incident with the Great Slacker, and third, Tatsumi was out of reach. He tried calling earlier to find out if the secretary had found anything remotely useful for the case or not. Unfortunately again, there was none.
~Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late
Over you
I'm never over
Over you
Something about
It's just the way you move
The way you move me
Yeah, I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit every game I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away~I swear I am going to kill that person who sang that song…Possible or not… I will! Hisoka was really in not a good mood. Tsuzuki was blanching everytime the boy looked at him. And the others were just merrily listening (as if they truly did) to every word the 'professor' said. One girl in particular was getting on Hisoka's nerves as she kept on singing the damn song by John Mayer and almost strangled her… in his mind, at least.
As the time passed by, neither Shinigami looked at each other more, and one of them, Tsuzuki obviously, kept on busying himself on other students as he roamed the classroom to check on their seat work.
Hisoka did his work silently, avoiding any eye contact with anyone. He might just say something rude or anything, not that he cares, but he really likes it better if nobody talked to him or anything.
Lunch finally came, and the students spilled out of their classrooms. Hisoka promptly stood up, walked towards the door, passing Tsuzuki without even glancing. Even a small flicker of the eye towards his direction, or even if it was blank or furious, just as long as Hisoka looked at him. Tsuzuki would've been happy if Hisoka even glared at him, but he just passed him… Which made his hopes of talking to the boy seem… more faraway as ever. But just as his hopes and confidence sank to the farthest ends of hell, Hisoka suddenly turned around before he had reached the outside completely. And he stared quite icily at Tsuzuki before saying:
"Hey, want to get lunch?"
~tbc~
A/N: Wai! Cliffies I love cliffies!!! ^o^ anyway, here's what I'm trying to tell you guys:
1.Who would like to have Kori's picture…? I mean, hey, he's a hunk too… Well, as far as I think he is… more of him revealed after… oh, dear, I still don't know where I'm going with the story… help!!!! Oh, and this only a drawing so… I thought… aw, shoot, just tell me if you're interested and leave your email address behind. Got it?
2.PLEASE tell me really how to cure this damn claustrophobia!!!
3.Help… Would anyone like to help me writing and finish this fic?
4.Help me with the lemons!! I can't write a lemon without help!!!
5. Please, please, anyone, be my beta… I mean, kyo-kun said she'd help… I appreciate that… But see, I think I'm going to be a burden to her..^o^
6. MAJOR CLUE: THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE ASSASSIN LURKING THE STORY… so there, I'm being generous… am I? ^o^ yes, that is a question.
7. Would you guys, the ones who had viewed my crossover fic of Gravitation and yami no Matsuei, want me to continue it?
8. Really, seriously, do you guys like Ai or not? I really want to know… She's getting nastier by the second… She wants to do something now… Help?! What should I do to her? Wait… you don't even know how she really is!!! God, those willing to help me with this story, email me… Ok?! Thanks!!!
P.S. That's all!!! See in the next chappy!!! ^o^ Oh, and next chappy, lets see what would happen with the two love birds, ne? Oh, and Kori, Ai, Claire would soon be identified as… __________. Oh, Muraki would be there too. Hope you guys aren't bored on reading this… ne? ^.^