Hogwarts: Sounds of the Night III
Author: Me
Genre: Humor
Disclaimer: the usual stuff
Gryffindor Bathroom:
Ginny: Ah, just the time to take a nice, relaxing bath in the confines of a house-limited bathroom. –looks around suspiciously- Where no one, and I mean, NO ONE, can disturb my peace... -laughs maniacally, while getting out diary and writing in it- Dear Tommy (I you know you like it when I call you that), before we can indulge in planning for taking over the world, how about a nice little orgy with that giant spider in your memory world? Take me away, loverboy!
Tom: You know, for a 12-year old, she sure does know a lot about sex... and she sure does use extensive language...
-whoosh-
Giant Spider: ...Why do I even bother staying at the castle? I know! Multiple orgasms!! Wheeeee!
Snape's Chambers:Snape: Miss Brown, you've been a baaaad girl! Now bend over that desk and take your punishment like a bitch that you are.
Lavender: Yes Master! –whispers- Whatever raises my grades... -screams- OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!
Privet Drive:Vernon: Well, Ms. Figg, I never knew you were into swinging.
Ms. Figg: I'm not. I'm just here to distract you, so Harry can escape your fascist-like regime through the window upstairs, and now I'm not afraid to tell you this, because you are too stupid, --and blissfully orgasmic---, to comprehend what I'm saying.
Petunia: Right you are!
Dudley: Mommy, Daddy, what are you doing?
Vernon: Oh nothing, my son, just scarring you for years to come, leaving you nothing but an empty shell, ultimately leading to your untimely death by suicide in the near future.
Dudley: ...I think I'm gonna go 'play' with some neighborhood kids... That's less scarring.
Somewhere in the Forbidden Forest:The Grim: I would like to declare this meeting of Oh-so-memorable Omens in Popular Stories, also known as OOPS, open.
Frank the Bunny: So I'm like, dude, the world will end soon, and he's like, what, and I'm like, DUDE, the world will END! I think he was stoned...
The Crimson Butterfly: Why am I even here? The two evil twin girls will probably follow me here... Idiots. We better leave before they come and discover us.
Frank the Bunny: -cough- Then don't come next time...
The Grim: Yes, yes, we all made our mistakes... But before we adjourn, I say we rejoice in a sacrificial orgy, like we usually do!
Gollum: Good, because that's the only reason I came... Not really being an omen at all...
Hallway:Cedric: Hey Cho, wanna go with me?
Cho: ..."Go" with you? Go where?
Cedric: Well, I meant in the metaphorical sense, to which most people couldn't allude to, but... hmm, how about behind that statue for a nice little shag?
Cho: Oh boy!
Cedric: But no screams of orgasms this time... Don't wanna get caught again.
Cho: Well, I wouldn't mind...
Cedric: You wanna get in an orgy with Snape-y boy again, don't ya...
Cho: Well, it WAS rather enjoyable.
Cedric: There are some things I'll never understand...
Cho: One of them being how to satisfy a woman properly!!
Cedric: So all that time you were faking it?! Then why don't you go to Snape, and maybe HE would be able to 'satisfy' you!
Cho: I would, but he's giving extra lessons to Lavender right now!! So right now YOU would have to suffice.
Cedric: -tries to act indignant, but fails miserably, and with screams of joy, drags Cho behind a random statue-
Anyone who can find allusions to examples of popular culture gets a cyber cookie.