Genre: General/Drama
Rating: PG
Summary: When the twins fight too much, Elrond and Celebrian decide to separate them for a few months…How will Elladan and Elrohir find life without each other?
Notes: Uhm...sorry for the delay? Well, I can't give you any good excuses for it... just the usual stress and the fact that I seem to have lost every ability to write. I read this chapter numerous times and I absolutely hate. It must be the worst chapter I've ever written!!! Ack...but it seems that I'm unable to produce anything better. Sorry for that. I don't know what has come over me...
Replaced with the betaed version on June 11th, 2004.
A Life Shared By Two
by Kaeera
Elrohir shifted impatiently on his horse. They weren't far away from Imladris for already, he recognized the landscape around him. Maybe a few more hours, and then he would be home.The elfling was unsure how he should feel; one part of him was incredibly happy to return, but the other part was a little reluctant after the fight with his twin. He still didn't want to give in and act as if everything was forgotten! It was probably his father's heritage, who had been known to be quite stubborn at times, too.
Everything would be simpler if only Elladan would apologize! Then things could get back to normal. But Elrohir knew his twin, and saying he was sorry was something Elladan rarely did first.
"You are brooding, my son." Celebrian stated. She was riding beside him and had been watching her soon for a little while now. "Why don't you just wait and relax until you meet your brother?"
"Hmm." was Elrohir's not very informative reply. He found it very difficult to occupy his mind with something else and relaxing was out of the question, but he didn't want to worry his mother. He felt terrible enough for causing her worry all the time. He sighed. Why was life that difficult?
"Amme?" he inquired in a tiny voice. "Do you think he will hate me?"
Celebrian turned her head and smiled at him. "No, certainly not. He loves you more than anything in Arda – he just doesn't want to admit it."
"But he can be so difficult!"
"I know, but you can be difficult as well – and that makes you who you are. I'm sure that you two – when you're grown up – will be very strong warriors, feared among all your enemies. You will learn to rely on each other, and to live with the difference in your personalities."
Elrohir's face took on a wistful look. "That would be great."
Then a smile lit his features. "But when I'm a great warrior, I will always protect you. And if someone hurts you, Elladan and I will hunt them down and punish them."
Celebrian chuckled and ruffled her son's hair. "That's nice to hear, Elrohir."
The blonde elf sighed for the umpteenth time in the past hour and looked at Elladan. The young elfling had been allowed out of bed, but he had to use the crutches Elrond had made for him. At the moment, he was sitting on the ledge of the window, watching Glorfindel polish his weapons.
That didn't seem to ease his boredom though, and Glorfindel was beginning to regret his decision to look after the elder twin for a few hours."You will have to wait until I have finished, little one." He told Elladan patiently and silently wondered how Elrond and Celebrian dealt with this bundle of energy every day.
"When will you finish?"
"When I'm done."
"When will you be done?"
Glorfindel rolled his eyes. "When my weapons are clean and shiny."
Elladan looked at the small pile of knives, swords, arrows and bows on the floor. "They seem pretty clean to me."
"They are not little one, and if a warriors weapons are not in good order, orcs and other foul creatures my get closer to you than they should." Glorfindel explained with more patience than he felt while he replaced the string on his hunting bow.
"Can't someone else clean them for you?"
The blonde elf looked at Elladan seriously. "If you ever want to become a warrior, Elladan, you must to learn this lesson well. Your weapons are the only thing you can rely on during a battle. They need to be in the best shape possible, and you the only way to ensure that, is to take care of them yourself. Being a warrior is not all fighting and shooting, you know."
A stubborn look crossed Elladan's face. "I'll still become a warrior, no matter what."
Glorfindel smiled. "I've never thought otherwise." Then he looked up, a curious look on his face. "Do you hear that? Horses approach, someone is coming!"
Elladan jumped up and grabbed his crutches before making his way out of the room. "That's 'Ro!" he shouted with delight.
Glorfindel simply shook his head and laid his bow on the table. "I'd better follow him." he sighed to himself. "Or he may very well break his other leg, too."When he finally saw the elegant buildings of Imladris, Elrohir realized how much he had missed his home. His face lit up at the prospect of sleeping in his own bed again and for a moment, all his worries were forgotten. "We're finally home!" he squealed and he almost couldn't wait to be helped down from his horse.
As soon as his feet touched the ground, he started running towards the main entrance, where Elrond was already walking down to greet them.
"Ada!" he shouted and jumped into his father's embrace, hugging him tightly. "I missed you so much!"
"I missed you too, Elrohir." Elrond admitted and whirled his son in the air. "It's wonderful to have you back."
Celebrian walked up the stairs, too, only a bit slower than her son. Elrond's smile widened. "And of course, it's wonderful to have you back, too!" And without further thought, he gave his wife a deep kiss.
Elrohir quickly looked away. As deeply as he loved his parents – he simply couldn't understand why they seemed kissed each other all the time. It was probably a grown up thing. The young twin was used to occasional kisses, but he doubted he would ever kiss a she-elf the same way his Ada kissed his Amme.
"Where's Elladan?" Celebrian asked, frowning that her eldest wasn't here yet. "He usually runs to greet me, like a whirlwind!"
Elrond let out a deep sigh. "Well, our eldest managed to injured himself yet again." He admitted. "He climbed a tree, fell down and broke his leg in the process."
Elrohir's ears perked up at the mention of his brother. Elladan hurt himself? But it wasn't bad, or was it? A broken leg? He remembered how much his arm hurt when he'd broken it falling down from the roof. He'd been unable to move the arm for weeks, and it had been terrible. How did Elladan always manage to hurt himself?
"Elladan is hurt? How bad? Tell me what happened!" The Lady of Imladris immediately adopted a worried-mother-mode. "Where is he?"
"He's with Glorfindel, let's go look for him right now…"
By this time, Elrohir had already stopped listening. His mind was replaying the conversation he'd had with Celeborn in Lothlorien.
"People say many things, Elrohir, you have to understand that. And it's not always the truth. Nobody forces you to love your brother – and nobody forces you to hate him." Celeborn kneeled down on the ground and pointed to Elrohir's chest. "Your true feelings reside in there, don't worry about what others say. It's you who decides what to feel, and if you listen to your heart, you will know what is right and what is true."
And if Elrohir listened to his heart right now, he was extremely worried and anxious, but not angry.
Where was Elladan? Why hadn't he come to greet them, if not him, then at least their Amme? Elrohir knew his brother all too well, and he knew that nothing could keep him from greeting their parents, unless he was really hurt.
"'Dan." he whispered weakly, and he ran off, startling his mother and father.
"Elrohir?" Celebrian called after him, but he didn't hear her, and Elrond stopped her from following him.
"Don't," said Elrond. "It's better they face each other without one of us present."
"Maybe." His wife bit her lip. "But…I'm worried."
"You shouldn't be. Elladan has learned his lesson, and he is already up and moving around – his leg will be healed soon. Besides, he's missed his brother dearly while you've been gone. He will be happy to see Elrohir."
Celebrian turned to look at him, a serious look on her face. "It is not Elladan who worries me,", she admitted, "but Elrohir.
Elrond didn't reply, he only raised an eyebrow in question.
"He didn't give in until the last second." The Lady of Imladris admitted. "My father and I, we both tried talking to him, but he was so stubborn! He refused to acknowledge how important Elladan really is to him. And I'm not sure what he's feeling. There was a time I really thought he had changed his mind, but I truly never expected Elrohir to be so stubborn."
"It will be fine," Elrond soothed. "They are both bright elflings, they'll figure it out for themselves. We just need to give them time, that's all."
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Elrohir ran through the corridors, startling every elf he encountered along the way. He couldn't help but feel worry for his brother, even though his head told him he should to be angry and not care. Maybe his conflicting emotions would become clearer when he saw his twin – after all, they hadn't seen each other for more weeks than he could remember. Had it been a month? Elrohir guessed.
The elfling slowed down. Nearly a month, that was a lot of days. He tried to remember a time when they had been separated before, but he couldn't. As far as he remembered, they'd never been separated for more than one or two days at the most.
Suddenly, he felt pain in his heart, and he thought of the things his grandfather had told him.
"If you listen to your heart, you will know what is true."Had he been listening to his heart? Elrohir had always been the more sensible one, but right now, he was confused. He should be angry, after all, it was all Elladan's fault this whole thing started in the first place. Instead, he only felt as if something was missing deep inside of him."What does it mean?" he whispered to himself as he turned around the corner, lost in thought. This wasn't a good idea. Since he hadn't been looking where he had been going, he suddenly collided with someone and landed painfully on his back.
"Ouch!" he growled and opened
one eye to see who he'd bumped into. He stared in surprise at his
mirror image, sitting across from him and rubbing his head in pain.
Elrohir took it in all at once; the dark brown hair with the familiar
braids in it, the grey, mischievous eyes and the round face which was
so very like his own.
Elladan.
Now that his brother sat before him, he didn't know what to say. All his anger had vanished, in fact, he only felt a vague numbness creep into his heart. What should he do?
What should he say? Should he leave? The younger twin nearly started panicking, but Elladan spared him from further confusion. In an instant, he had thrown his arms around his brother's neck, squealing in delight. "'Ro! You are back! I missed you so much!"
Elrohir was taken aback by this sudden display of affection. Hadn't Elladan been the one who was angry with him at first? So why was he so happy to see him? Normally, his elder twin never gave in until someone apologized to him first – and that someone was usually Elrohir. The elfling was confused by this turn of events, so he remained silent, not sure if this all was a dream.
"'Ro?" The concerned eyes of his twin appeared in front of him, and for the first time Elrohir noticed the bruise on his brother's face. His gaze wandered over Elladan's body, unable to stop himself from worrying even more, and he finally took in the tight cast around Elladan's leg.
"What happened?" Elrohir asked, his voice rough and shaky.
"Oh, you mean this?" Elladan knocked on the cast. "It's nothing. I went out during a rainstorm one night, and climbed a tree. But I slipped, and when I fell, I broke my leg."
"You went out in a rainstorm?" Elrohir asked incredulously. "Why?"
Elladan shrugged. "I don't know?" His face lit up. "It doesn't hurt too much anymore. Besides, it was sooo boring without you and I'm really glad you're back! How was your stay in Lothlorien? You have to tell me about it!"
"Wait, slow down a bit!" Elrohir pushed his brother away, angry at himself that he'd been taken by surprise. "How can you act as if nothing happened? Did you forget why we were separated? Did you forget what you said to me?!"
Elladan cringed at his brother's harsh words. "I thought…well…it has been a long time, and we were both angry and I'm just so glad to see you again…"
"Well, maybe you are, but I'm not!" Elrohir huffed and crossed his arms defiantly. "Do you know how much your words hurt me? Do you have any idea what I went through?"
"But 'Ro…"
"No! You always do things that you shouldn't drag me into them, and in the end, I have to suffer as well. And when I don't want to go along with you, you say I'm weak and that I'll never be a warrior!. It's always you!" Tears brimmed in Elrohir's eyes,as all the pain he'd suppressed came back to the surface. "I've had enough! I can't just forget it! This time, I won't come crawling back to you, do you understand? This time it you'll have to apologize first!"
Elladan's mouth dropped open in shock. "I didn't mean it like that…"
"You never mean it like that, but you say such things nonetheless! You should mind what you say more because you end up hurting people all the time!"
The elder twin didn't know what to do. Here He'd been so happy to reunite with his brother, but Elrohir didn't seem happy at all. Instead, he'd scolded him and was so furious! Elladan didn't understand his brother's feelings at all.
"Didn't you miss me?" He asked in a tiny voice, so very unlike his usual straight-forwardness.
Elrohir hesitated – that wasn't a question he'd been prepared for. "That's not the point right now," he hedged.
"It sure is!" Elladan insisted. "We are twins! We belong together! How could you not miss me?"
"Just because we are twins, doesn't mean I can't have fun without you!" Elrohir shot back, although he hadn't intended to say it so harshly.
Tears welled up in Elladan's eyes. "I'm sorry for what I did," he sobbed, "I never meant to hurt you. I really missed you while you were gone, and I couldn't wait for you to return. But I don't think you missed me at all, and worse yet, you don't even like me anymore!"
Elrohir's mouth fell wide open at his brother's tears. Elladan rarely cried, and when he did, it was usually due to an injury, not because of something Elrohir said. He must be terribly upset. The young elfling wanted to say something to console his twin, but Elladan had already turned around and was limping down the corridor as fast as he could.
"Elladan?"
"I don't want to see you anymore! You didn't even miss me, and I felt nothing but miseray - all the time!"
"I never said I didn't miss you!"
"Leave me in peace!" Elladan hollered and turned the corner, leaving Elrohir sitting alone on the cold floor wondering what had just happened.
The younger twin didn't know what to do or to think any more. He'd never before seen his twin so upset! And in all honesty, he'd never meant to hurt his brother either. Things had just gotten out of hand and his twin had misunderstood his words
Well, at least Elladan had apologized first.
But why didn't he feel any triumph about it?
To be continued...