Ascend
By: blue lady
Chapter Seven – Wallowing
I woke up, surprised to find myself in my bedroom. I sat up noticing the amount of moonlight streaming across my lap, turning the bed sheets to an eerily blue. The sound of Lina-san's mumblings and movement beside me made we realize how late it was.
"It had to be well past midnight by now" I thought to myself as I lied back down.
Let it go.
I buried my head into the pillow, knowing that my mind had already begun to wander back to what had happened earlier.
Let it go.
How was I supposed to let something like this go? Both Lukas and my father had died unjustly.
There was nothing more you could have done.
Though I knew she only meant to comfort me, however those words did the exact opposite. Those words had cut me deeply. They had brought back the harsh truth that because I could do nothing they had both died. I could feel the fabric between my fingers grow taut as my grip on the pillow tightened. I had been brought up to believe that I could do anything. That if I just put my whole heart into anything I do I would be able to accomplish it, no matter how impossible. However, I had been useless…powerless to prevent Lukas' death or to preserve my father's honor. I could hear the fabric beneath my fingers' rip; The man responsible for all this will pay!
I was a bit startled at how violently my body had trembled at the very idea of sweet revenge. I quietly surpassed the feeling, amazed by the pungency of the anger and pain that had overflow within me.
There only been one time had such rage and pain weighed so heavily on my spirit. I was about six or seven then, when mother was assassinated. The day after mother's funeral, Gracia had subjected herself to complete isolation. In other words, she had locked herself in her room, refusing to ever come out. I remember sitting outside her room, using her door as a backrest as I talked to her. Though, she never answered me, I was sure it was the something she needed to break her of her stupor. One day when I went for another daily talk with her, I had noticed the door slightly ajar. Upon opening the door wider I found the room vacant, with only her white shrine maiden robes and tiara laying on the bed besides a small note in her flamboyantly curvy handwriting.
I reacted to the situation just as in the same manner as Gracia, I locked myself in my room. I had cried almost every single day, letting the anger, pain, and bitter rejection fester within me. Why had both my sister and mother been taken away from me? Why did Gracia leave me? Didn't she know how much I needed her? I had tired my best to cheer her up and she had left anyway. I let myself drown in my own self-pity and self-loathing, hating the world for my suffering. However, after almost a whole week of this, father finally got tired of it. Not wanting to lose another daughter he had broke down the door, dragged me outside and made me live life again. I remember after the first few days of reliving, I realized how miserable life seemed to be when I had let despair take me. I had vowed then never to let those dark emotions conquer me ever again, to keep my head up, no matter the circumstances.
So wasn't I going against my own promise? Yes, I could not let myself continue down this path, I would only cause myself more pain.
Your father wouldn't want to see you like this, his only daughter consumed with grief and anger.
She was right. I should not continue wallowing in my own misery. Besides if I continued to let these emotions take me, life would seem so… dismal, dark. I would be just like…
"Zelgadis-san…" I whispered quietly to myself, recalling to mind the many times when his own depression and self-loathing had caused some fights to break out in our travels. After one particularly vicious spat that he had with Lina-san about his attitude, he had stormed out of the tavern in a nasty mood. When by midnight he had not returned, I had gone out to look for him, since Lina-san refused to have anything to do with the "rock-headed jerk." I had found him sitting alone on top of a steep cliff overlooking the town. I remembered how my heart had twisted at the sight of him. That was the first time I realized how lonely Zelgadis-san always felt.
Yes, I will let this go and let my life finally go on. Then finally my eyelids begin to droop, and for once it seemed that I could finally sleep peacefully.
However it had taken her several hours where she fell into a fitful slumber.
I raised an eyebrow as I watch Amelia flutter around the house. She was being unusually cheerful this morning. Over the rim of my teacup, I continued to watch her as she cheerfully clean and dust the house, "Amelia."
"Yes, Lina-san?" The young girl replied, immediately running to my side. I took a long sip of my tea, scrutinizing her face carefully. She was smiling her usual sunny Amelia smile but after being with the little princess for so long, I knew the smile was not as genuine as it seemed. For one thing, the smile was too big to be natural and the brightness of her mood did not reflect in her big azure eyes. She was obviously forcing it, thinking that she was only trying to move on with her life.
"Can you please pour me another cup?"
"Sure!" Amelia grabbed the cup, almost bouncing to the kitchen.
"Foolish girl, by doing this you will only make it worse for yourself." I muttered under my breath, shaking my head, remembering how I had tried the exact same thing when Hellmaster Phibrizzo had taken Gourry away from me.
"Here you go!" Amelia said happily, placing the cup in front of me.
"Thanks." I answered quickly, as she immediately went back to her housework. It looks like I was gonna have to do this for her and finally put this whole thing to rest.
I leaned back on my chair thinking, where can I find some information about this guy? The kid must have some friends but I didn't even have a clue as to who his friends were. I sighed, going to Auntie Sera wouldn't be a good idea either, judging by the conversation she had with Amelia last night, Auntie Sera seemed uncomfortable in discussing anything Lukas.
"But nothing's ever stop me before!" I shouted, slamming down my cup. I directly made my way to the kitchen where Gourry was helping Aunite Sera bake an apple pie. Seizing him by the forearm I proceeded in dragging him out of the house. Gourry immediately began stammering his protests, which I easily quenched with one look. We had some serious researching to do.
"Why doesn't anybody in this town know anything about anything?!" Lina yelled, fanatically pulling at her hair. I watched as several of the people passing by instinctively stepped carefully away from her. Smart.
"Well, Lina" I said, placing a hand on her shoulders trying to calm her down, "I don't think people usually like to talk about stuff like that, you know."
Lina turned to glare at me and I quickly retracted my hand from her shoulder, cringing and wondering what I had said wrong this time.
However, just as instantly as her death glare appeared on her face, it just as swiftly disappeared.
"You're probably right, Gourry. People probably wouldn't want to get involved…" Lina said, trailing off.
I sighed with relief, looks like Lina was in a good mood today.
I rubbed my temples furiously; no one was willing to answer any of my questions! They would either refuse to tell me anything or avoid me as if I were some kind of plague. This was turning out to be much harder than I thought. I looked towards Gourry and couldn't help but smile slightly at how patiently he was waiting for me, just like a little child. He looked towards me giving me a smile in return, I quickly turned away coughing to hide my embarrassment. I can already feel my face starting to heat up.
"So Lina, what are we going to do now?" Gourry asked.
"That's what I'm trying to decide now!" I yelled, noticing how Gourry seem to shrink away from me a little.
"Lina! What are you yelling at Gourry about this time?"
I turned around startled to find Auntie Sera giving me a stern look.
"Oh, hello Auntie Sera," I replied, laughing nervously. "I thought you were planning to stay home all day and pickle peaches."
"Yes, well I needed to get some more ingredients," Auntie Sera replied flipping through the basket in her arms. "What are you doing here? I thought you guys went bandit hunting."
"Well, we did but…we're done right now! We were going to…buy…um… some new gloves for Gourry." I said, grabbing Gourry's hands and showing them to Auntie Sera, "See how scuffed up they are!"
"Hm…You're right. But I could always sow them up for you." Auntie Sera suggested, fingering the material.
"No, no! We have enough money to buy him a new pair." I answered her, smiling.
"Well, okay then. I'll see you at home. Don't stay out too late okay?" Auntie Sera said staring to walk away.
"We won't Auntie!" I yelled back to her.
"Whew that was close…" I thought to myself, it would be horrible if Auntie Sera found out what we really were doing.
"Wait, Lina! I'm confused I thought you said we were trying to find information on Lukas'- mmmph!"
"Shut up, Jellyfish." Grabbing him in a headlock, I pulled him down to whisper harshly in his ear, "Do you want Auntie Sera to hear you?"
"Why can't we let her know? Isn't Lukas Auntie's grandson?" Gourry asked loudly.
"Because Lukas is Auntie Sera's grandson she would be very upset with us on trying to dig this up!"
"Then why are we doing this, if it would upset Auntie?" Gourry asked, looking even more befuddled.
"Because of Amelia, you idiot!"
"Amelia? What does Amelia have to do with this?" Gourry asked scratching his head.
That did it. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I tightened my hold on him and began to shake him violently, "Because we have to find the one responsible so Amelia can finally and truly get on with her life and put this whole matter to rest! The silly girl is starting to repress her true feelings. This is not healthy for her! We must do this for the sake of Amelia, understand?"
Gourry nodded his head vigorously. Letting him go, I calmed myself down as I tried to regain my breath. Man, my small lungs can't handle this anymore.
"Is this true?"
I squeaked with fright, "Auntie Sera?!"
"Is it true about what you said about Amelia?" Auntie Sera asked, her eyes a bit glazy.
I glared at Gourry before answering, "Yes, Auntie Sera. I'm sorry, but we can't let this go yet. For Amelia's sake."
Auntie Sera sighed, her blue eyes suddenly turning dull, "If you want information, go ask Bill."
"Bill?"
"Yes, Bill the Gravekeeper."
I hummed to myself, as I hung the wash. Noticing that the sun was already setting and neither Lina nor Gourry had come back yet. Sera-san had came home a while ago, but had immediately went to bed, something about a headache.
"Are you sure you don't want me to look at it?" I had asked. Which Sera-san had firmly answered with a shake of her head, "I just need to sleep this off that's all."
I knew she had been lying, but decided to not push it
"I wonder what got her so upset?" I mused to myself, watching the sun's continue descent. As I made my way to the front door, the sound of running feet hitting the cobblestone streets reached my ears. I turned around, seeing both Lina and Gourry running towards me, a cloud of dust bellowing behind them.
"Lina-san! Gourry-san!" I yelled, waving at them but stopped when I noticed the serious look on Lina-san's face.
When Lina-san finally reached me, I looked down at her worriedly as she rapidly exhaled and inhaled gulps of air.
"What's wrong Lina-san?" I asked.
Lina-san stood up, still panting from her run, to look me straight in the eye.
"Amelia, we know who killed your father."
Author's notesWah! Chapter Seven! Ding! Anyway, I told you it wouldn't take a month! Anyway, Filingsloth was right it was too soon to wrap everything up. So I have no idea when this whole assassination thing will be over. However, I am having fun writing it and gives me plenty of time to map out what happens afterwards (it's still a bit sketchy). As always, please read and review and thanks for all those who have. The next chapter will probably be out around the same time and I warn you it's going to be long!