I Believe in You
Chapter 7
Hermione sat in her dormitory alone, crying. She didn't quite know why, but she knew it had something to do with her parents. Her parents used to fight when she was young. Everything was alright now, but that didn't change the emotional damage it had caused her. As a little kid she had loved, and spent all her time with her parents. When they fought, it killed her. It pained her so much to see the people she loved trying to hurt each other.
It was no secret she loved Harry and Ron, but why did she get that stab of pain to think of an upset Draco? She couldn't necessarily relate to him, and she had never seen his point of view, or for matter of fact gotten along with him before now. But for some reason she cared about him. Once again her words "I believe in you" came back to her. Suddenly she understood.
Those really had not been words of desperation. Those had been words from her heart. Seeing Draco in his vulnerability had showed Hermione something. No matter how smug he may act, Draco needed support, and love as much as anyone else. Closing her eyes, the sight of Draco's panicked face as he held the gun to his head, reappeared in her mind. She wanted to know what a guy with everything could feel that would make him pull a gun on himself. Hermione got up and looked at her tear streaked reflection. She performed a charm to get rid of her puffy eyes and red nose, and left the dormitory only to stumble and fall onto a slide going down into the common room. Her vision slightly shaky, Hermione heard Ginny say "Haven't you guys already learned that you can't go up to the girl's dormitories?" "Shut up, Ginny" said the bitter voice of Ron. Hermione felt two pairs of arms help her up, and carry her across the common room, up another set of steps, and into a dormitory.
Sitting on Harry's bed, Hermione cleared her head. Ron and Harry were looking at her nervously. 'What?" asked Hermione, shakily. She did not want to get yelled at again. Especially not now. "We're sorry" said Ron "We know that it's your decision to help Malfoy. We'll try and leave you two alone from now on. You just have to understand how hard it is for us to watch you spend all your time with him...and not us. We care about you too, Hermione. We don't want to see anything happen to you. Ever. We just want to make sure that you know that you can trust Malfoy. If he goes crazy again...there's no knowing what he'll do next. We just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. Are you sure you can handle him on your own?" Hermione let the seriousness of her friends' words sink in, before she smiled, leapt up and hugged them both. "I love you guys." She cried, and they laughed, and hugged her back.
Pulling away, Hermione said "I appreciate what you guys are doing. But I do know what I'm doing. Believe me, I know what a selfish bastard Malfoy can be, but I still want to help him. It's just that...he's so, well, hectic inside right now...he just needs a lot of attention. I can't let him feel lonely, if I want to help him. If I leave him alone for too long...you know. He's, well, he's suicidal, isn't he? I hope you guys can just let me do my thing...I need you as much as Draco needs me right now. Please guys. Try not to...to get all worked up?" She tried to explain in a rush. She was aware of how stupid that sounded, but she wasn't about to take back what she said. She needed them to understand how serious she was about helping Draco...even though it sounded completely made up.
Just making up with her friends again, she didn't know if it was best that she immediately go looking for Draco. Though, she felt a pain of guilt in her heart. She knew that Draco probably needed company right now, much more than Harry or Ron did, but she stayed with them anyway for the sake of their friendship.
"So...." said Ron. His stomach rumbled. "Want to go down to the kitchens?" They all laughed at Ron's probable three stomachs. Harry agreed, but Hermione said she was too tired, and would wait for them there.
So Harry and Ron left, with the promise of butterbeer, and cake. A couple minutes after they had gone, Hermione made her way back down into the common room to find it full of students. She was so grateful to see that most of the Gyriffindor house had forgiven her along with Harry and Ron...they weren't giving her evil glares, anyway. She spotted Ginny, sitting in an armchair by the fire reading a book, and went over to her. "Hi." Said Hermione a little timidly. "Hey" Said Ginny back. "Whatcha reading?" Asked Hermione. "Uh..." said Ginny blushing a bit. "Well...you're never going to believe this...but..." Ginny lifted the book from off her lap to show Hermione the cover. It read Travels with Trolls by, Gilderoy Lockhart. "I don't care how psychotic he is. He's still damn bloody hot!" Said Ginny. Hermione burst out laughing, and Ginny joined her a couple seconds later.
The sound of Ginny's laughter along with hers, made Hermione almost cry out of happiness. This is what being with Ginny meant. It felt almost as thought they were back at the burrow, gossiping and laughing about each others silliness. After the laughter had ended, Ginny went back to reading, and Hermione got up to look out of the tower window.
It was almost dark outside, but she could still see a little figure walking around. Knowing who it was, Hermione felt a deep tug of longing to go outside and be with him, but the sound of Harry's voice stopped her. "Butterbeer?" Pulling her eyes away from the window, she replied "Yes" Harry rather quickly thrust a bottle in her hand, and went back to balancing the towering pile of food he was carrying. Hermione looked at Ron, to find him also carrying a huge stack. "Uh..." said Hermione half way between confusion and humor. "We thought we'd throw a bit of a party." "Drinks all around!" Yelled Ron as Dean, Seamus, and Neville entered the common room holding even more food.
Twenty minutes later, everyone was laughing and talking even more enthusiastically, with the addition of butterbeer, and cake inside their stomachs. Everyone except Hermione, who sat alone by the fire, thinking, amazingly blocking out the loud talking going on around her. You didn't have to guess who she was thinking about. She felt so trapped inside this circular room. She could not believe the longing she felt to be outside right now. It was like an invisible force had grabbed hold of her heart, and was trying to pull her out onto the grounds. She got up and looked out the window, but she couldn't see Draco anymore. Either because it was too dark, or he wasn't there. Feeling her eyes start to water, she realized how stressed out she was.
She slipped away from the common room and retreated to the silence of her dormitory. She decided to do some drawing, which was always therapeutic. She got her sketch book out, along with some pencils and started to draw. She decided to draw the castle, with its glimmering lake, and fresh green grounds. After she finished drawing this beautiful sight, she penciled in two figures walking together around the lake, and smiled at the thought. It wasn't until then that she realized it was almost midnight. Gasping at the fact she was up so late on a school night, she put all her drawing supplies away, just as a very hyper Lavender and Parvati came into the dorm. Lavender paused laughing to notice Hermione and say, "Well?"
Hermione furrowed her eyebrows. "Well, what?" Lavender giggled a bit. Not at Hermione's response, but out of sugar high. "Tell us what's up! We want to know why! Is it because he's MAD hot and you want his DAMN SEXY body?" At this Parvati and Lavender burst out in straight hysterics. "What have you guys been smoking?" Asked Hermione, bewildered. Instead of getting a reply, she got even more uncontrollable laughs.
Hermione rolled her eyes and got into bed sighing. "Well, it's good to see your pj's have dried, from you wet and wild outside this morning." Parvati commented, managing somehow to control herself. "Uh...yah." said Hermione. She really was getting tired of this. "Oh come ON, Hermione!" said Parvati, "Lighten up!" "What are you talking about?" Hermione asked accidentally letting go of her anger, and raising her voice. "Well, it's obvious, really." At this, for no reason, Lavender burst out in a disgusting version of Obvious by Christina Aguilera. "Lavender, Shut up." said Hermione "What's obvious Parvati?" Parvati stopped laughing, and suddenly looked deadly serious. "You just want the attention, don't you Hermione?" For the second time that day, Hermione suspected a conspiracy. "What..the..fuck?" "You want to be bad for one time in your fucking life. You're getting tired of being a little dork aren't you?" Hermione laughed out of complete absurdity. 'This is so not happening' thought Hermione. "...SO!" continued Parvati, stumbling a bit "You go for the deadly gorgeous, rebellious, bad boy Slytherin!" Hermione stared in amazement for a second, then said sarcastically, "Wow...you're just mapping out my whole plan! Good job Parvati."
And with that she pulled her drapes back, and remained silent, until she heard Lavender and Parvati crawl into bed, whispering and giggling. Hermione lay awake, thinking. Is that really what people thought? Or was it just Lavender and Parvati being high....or drunk...or both? Hermione let out a confused, sad, impatient sigh, and closed her eyes.
Hermione tiredly woke up at 6:00 AM the next morning, to get ready for the day. She was grateful to see that Lavender and Parvati were still asleep. She put her robe on, grabbed her toiletry bag, and headed for the bathrooms.
Hermione felt even luckier that the bathroom she entered was empty, as she really didn't want to talk to anyone about anything right now. She washed her face brushed her teeth, and then moved to her make-up.
Lavender entered, as Hermione was charming her hair to lay calmly curly, and didn't say anything. Hermione watched Lavender nervously out of the corner of her eye. "Shit." Said Lavender, annoyed as she dropped her lavender eye shadow, and it broke, powder flying everywhere. "Here," Hermione said, expressionlessly, shoving her eye shadow compact at Lavender, and leaving.
Once back in her dorm, Hermione got dressed in her uniform and went down to the common room exactly at 7. Harry climbed in the portrait hole, fully dressed and smiled at Hermione. "Morning" "Good Morning." said Hermione. Silence. "Where's Ron?" asked Hermione. On cue, Ron appeared, still in pajamas. "S'it time for breakfast?" he asked drowsily, "Yah..." said Harry looking at Ron strangely. Ron grumbled grumpily, and said "Lets go..." he made his way over to the portrait hole, but Harry caught his arm saying, "You might want to change into something else first, mate." Ron looked down at his 'ensemble' and muttered "fuck" under his breath.
Five minutes later Harry, Ron, and Hermione were making their way down to the great hall for breakfast. When they arrived, Harry, and Hermione sat across from Ron at the Gryffindor table, who was still comically disheveled. Helping herself to toast, Hermione glanced at Draco across the hall, but he wasn't paying attention to anything it seemed. Monday mornings didn't seem to do good for anyone. "Thanks" someone said, as they walked by, placing the eye shadow compact in front of Hermione. Hermione turned to say 'your welcome' only to see Harry slap Lavender's ass. 'Oh god...I really did not need to see that,' Thought Hermione. She turned to Ron to see his face in his pancakes, almost snoring. Hermione slapped her forehead, and went back to her toast.
~*~*~*~*~
Draco looked blurrily at his orange juice, and thought 'Mondays...are...stupid' He looked over at Hermione, but she wasn't looking at him. However, she was about the only one. People were still slightly afraid of him. No one had missed the fact it was still less than a week since he had shot someone, and knocked two guys out. And, considering who these three people were, there was also now no doubt that he really was in league with the dark lord. Everyone kept throwing him unsure glances now and then, and he was getting really impatient. Grabbing some toast, and his bag, he left the hall.
He soon regretted his decision. He usually enjoyed being alone, but now as he looked at the stone walls, he suddenly got a flash of the dream he had been having every night since he shot Hermione. He closed his eyes, to see the stone walls spattered with blood, and opened them quickly again. He hurried up the stone staircase to his first class, trying to take his mind off it.
~*~*~*~*~
The day passed normally, and finally, it was time for lunch, but Hermione couldn't relax. She had to go and ask her professors for further explanation on what she had missed, and to hand in late assignments. They all asked her how she was feeling, and she had told every one of them that she was fine...this was, all, except for Snape of course, who just sneered and snatched the essay from her.
By the time she had left the dungeons, she realized, that it was already time for her afternoon classes. For once in her life, Hermione did not want to go to class. The only thing she felt like doing was talking to Draco. She was so worried about him. That fight must have messed him up more, and she hadn't even tried to talk to him. 'Oh well,' she thought. 'Maybe later tonight. And if not then, I'll definitely see him tomorrow at 8 for counseling'
~*~*~*~*~
Draco arrived in the great hall for lunch, a little late. He had searched the school a little bit for Hermione, but upon not finding her, he decided to make his last check in the great hall. He didn't see her, and felt his heart fall. He needed to talk to her. He didn't know what about, but he just needed to for some reason. He felt oddly strange, and out of place without her.
He sat down at his table, and helped himself to some turkey sandwiches, and a bowl of soup. He sat there, eating his food, but not really paying attention to it. He had spaced out from his friends' conversation, and instead discussed his thoughts about Hermione with himself.
He had always found walking around outside to be calming, but when Hermione was with him that one morning...everything was so...so beautiful. He had felt so secure, and so happy. Although there wasn't much to talk about, there seemed to be a connection that didn't require the use of words. And even more than just having a connection, she gave him a reason to stay at Hogwarts.
'But then, she's a mudblood. And I have pure blood...even if I'm not a Malfoy anymore. But then if I'm not a Malfoy, then it doesn't matter. But...fuck This is so confusing.' Talk now, think later. I just can't take this anymore. Where the fuck is Hermione? Draco pushed out from his seat, and left the great hall, to see Hermione, across the entrance hall talking to Harry. Draco felt something drop in his stomach as he looked at Hermione. He wanted to go up to her. But what if she was mad at him? What if the fucking potty, and weasel, told her that he had started the fight?
Just as he was about to cross the hall, Hermione hugged Harry, kissed him on the check, and departed full speed up the stone stair case.
~*~*~*~*~
Draco, didn't go to dinner. He decided he needed a walk, before going to see Madame Moyse. But, just as he reached the oak front doors, Madame Moyse can over to him. "Sorry Draco," she said. "I was wondering if we could do this session early. My daughter needs some help at home later." Draco wanted to walk, but he followed her up the stairs anyway.
"So, Draco. How have you been feeling?" "Uh...okay, I guess....I'm still having that dream." "Hmm." responded Madame Moyse, jotting down some notes. "Tell me about the dream, one more time." Draco sighed, resigned to the fact that he had to tell her again. "All I see is snow with blood in it, then I hear people screaming. Then I'm walking in a corridor, with blood smeared all over the place. And then I'm walking in a graveyard, and I fall and die..." "Hmm" Replied Madame Moyse, once again, as she took more notes. "Interesting. Well, what I think it means is-"
"Uh, Madame Moyse, I was hoping we could talk about something else." Startled, Madame Moyse looked up. "Sure Draco. What's on your mind?" "Well, there's this person..."
~*~*~*~*~
Hermione searched the Slytherin table frantically at dinner time, but did not see Draco. Harry handed her a chicken pot pie. "Thanks Harry." She said absent mindedly. "You okay, Hermione?" Asked Ron. "...Yeah..."She said, still searching the Slytherin table. Harry leaned in closer to Hermione, "Is it about Draco?" Hermione looked at Harry and nodded. Harry and Ron exchanged glances
She could tell that neither of them were over the moon about this, but still Harry asked, "Do you want to talk about it?" Hermione shook her head. "Not here." "Then where?" "I dunno...somewhere where people can't hear us." "Lets go, then" Said Ron. Grabbing another pie, and heading for the exit. Hermione smiled and followed.
~*~*~*~*~
"What about this person?" "Well, this person had really been there for me lately. I mean, except for the past few days. I mean, she was there, and then I got into that fight, and I haven't spoken to her since." "So...this is a girl...and she talked to you... and then you got in a fight...and now she doesn't talk to you...anymore." said Madame Moyse, as she wrote it down. She looked at Draco. "Do you know why?" "...No." Draco said "Well. It could be that I got in a fight with her two best friends." "Ah." Said Madame Moyse. "I see. Well since you haven't talked to her, I suggest that you do. Now I've got to run. Send me an owl if you need anything, Draco. I'll look over my notes and see you Wednesday." And with that she picked up her clip board, and purse and left the classroom.
Draco sighed, not feeling any better, and went back to the great hall, thankful that it was still dinner. However he was hugely disappointed that Hermione wasn't there...again! 'Doesn't that girl ever eat?' He thought. But then he noticed that Potter and Weasley, weren't there either, and with a stab of jealousy knew who she was with.
~*~*~*~*~
"So what's up?" asked Harry. They were alone in the Gyriffindor common room. Hermione didn't know why, but she just burst out crying. Harry, and Ron, quite alarmed, ran over to comfort her, Ron with a fork in his mouth. "Hermione!" said Ron desperately (not so amazingly, he had mastered talking with food in his mouth.) "Tell us what wrong!"
Hermione found that she didn't quite know what to say. "Has Draco done something to you?" asked Harry. "No" Sobbed Hermione. "It's just that this last week has been so hectic and scary. I saw someone I've known for almost six years try and kill himself, then thought I was going to die, then gotten into a fight with you two, and then you guys got into a fight, and then he's not talking to me anymore and. And..." she knew she probably didn't make any sense, but she couldn't explain now, she could hardly breath. "Shh, Hermione...It's okay." Harry said, as Ron patted her back.
~*~*~*~*~
Draco sat alone, his head in his hands, resisting the urge to cry. Cry until he didn't have the energy to think anymore. His mother and father...were not his anymore. He didn't want to be a death eater, but felt that he had no way out of it. However, he wasn't sure he had to be anymore. That pretty much summed up how Draco felt. He wasn't sure of anything, and it was driving him mad. Had his father really disowned him? Or would he be back with more torture for Draco to live up to once he had calmed down? Either way, he was sure his father wouldn't want him to be with Hermione. Draco was used to being able to sit and sort out his problems. But now that he wasn't able to answer any of his questions, or organize his thoughts, he became frustrated. He roared, feeling his self control leaving him, he stood up, and threw his chair against the wall.
~*~*~*~*~
Another day passed with no sign of Draco. Hermione was greatly looking forward to her counseling appointment with Draco that evening. She wanted to tell him everything was okay. She wanted to talk to him about the fight. She wanted just to talk to him, actually. To see his face, and hear his voice. That was all she needed.
~*~*~*~*~
Draco was making his way to the charms class to meet Hermione. He was just at the Marble stair case when Snape exited the dungeons and called "Malfoy, where are you going? You have a detention with me, now." "Oh! Professor, could we do it later? I have to go see..." "Of course we can't do it later." replied Snape "Later, I have an appointment with the Headmaster about you." "What?..." said Draco confused. "Draco..." Said Snape with an impatient sigh "My office now. I want you to re-label some of my potion ingredients."
Draco felt his heart flinch, and promised himself he would hunt Hermione down if he had to, if that's what it meant to apologize. He had completely forgotten that he had a detention that night. He hoped Hermione would understand...
~*~*~*~*~
Hermione waited patiently in the Charms class, not wanting to believe that Draco wasn't coming. 'He couldn't be that mad...could he?'
she heard the clock click 9:00, just as the tears started to fall down Hermione's face. She grabbed her bag, and ran for her dorm.
A/N: I know it's been...oh, how many months since I last updated!? My computer died! I had to get a new one, and find out a way to transfer my files! Well, it's all done now, so here's a new chapter! Hope you guys didn't get too lost. Please R&R so I can improve as an author!
Chapter 7
Hermione sat in her dormitory alone, crying. She didn't quite know why, but she knew it had something to do with her parents. Her parents used to fight when she was young. Everything was alright now, but that didn't change the emotional damage it had caused her. As a little kid she had loved, and spent all her time with her parents. When they fought, it killed her. It pained her so much to see the people she loved trying to hurt each other.
It was no secret she loved Harry and Ron, but why did she get that stab of pain to think of an upset Draco? She couldn't necessarily relate to him, and she had never seen his point of view, or for matter of fact gotten along with him before now. But for some reason she cared about him. Once again her words "I believe in you" came back to her. Suddenly she understood.
Those really had not been words of desperation. Those had been words from her heart. Seeing Draco in his vulnerability had showed Hermione something. No matter how smug he may act, Draco needed support, and love as much as anyone else. Closing her eyes, the sight of Draco's panicked face as he held the gun to his head, reappeared in her mind. She wanted to know what a guy with everything could feel that would make him pull a gun on himself. Hermione got up and looked at her tear streaked reflection. She performed a charm to get rid of her puffy eyes and red nose, and left the dormitory only to stumble and fall onto a slide going down into the common room. Her vision slightly shaky, Hermione heard Ginny say "Haven't you guys already learned that you can't go up to the girl's dormitories?" "Shut up, Ginny" said the bitter voice of Ron. Hermione felt two pairs of arms help her up, and carry her across the common room, up another set of steps, and into a dormitory.
Sitting on Harry's bed, Hermione cleared her head. Ron and Harry were looking at her nervously. 'What?" asked Hermione, shakily. She did not want to get yelled at again. Especially not now. "We're sorry" said Ron "We know that it's your decision to help Malfoy. We'll try and leave you two alone from now on. You just have to understand how hard it is for us to watch you spend all your time with him...and not us. We care about you too, Hermione. We don't want to see anything happen to you. Ever. We just want to make sure that you know that you can trust Malfoy. If he goes crazy again...there's no knowing what he'll do next. We just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. Are you sure you can handle him on your own?" Hermione let the seriousness of her friends' words sink in, before she smiled, leapt up and hugged them both. "I love you guys." She cried, and they laughed, and hugged her back.
Pulling away, Hermione said "I appreciate what you guys are doing. But I do know what I'm doing. Believe me, I know what a selfish bastard Malfoy can be, but I still want to help him. It's just that...he's so, well, hectic inside right now...he just needs a lot of attention. I can't let him feel lonely, if I want to help him. If I leave him alone for too long...you know. He's, well, he's suicidal, isn't he? I hope you guys can just let me do my thing...I need you as much as Draco needs me right now. Please guys. Try not to...to get all worked up?" She tried to explain in a rush. She was aware of how stupid that sounded, but she wasn't about to take back what she said. She needed them to understand how serious she was about helping Draco...even though it sounded completely made up.
Just making up with her friends again, she didn't know if it was best that she immediately go looking for Draco. Though, she felt a pain of guilt in her heart. She knew that Draco probably needed company right now, much more than Harry or Ron did, but she stayed with them anyway for the sake of their friendship.
"So...." said Ron. His stomach rumbled. "Want to go down to the kitchens?" They all laughed at Ron's probable three stomachs. Harry agreed, but Hermione said she was too tired, and would wait for them there.
So Harry and Ron left, with the promise of butterbeer, and cake. A couple minutes after they had gone, Hermione made her way back down into the common room to find it full of students. She was so grateful to see that most of the Gyriffindor house had forgiven her along with Harry and Ron...they weren't giving her evil glares, anyway. She spotted Ginny, sitting in an armchair by the fire reading a book, and went over to her. "Hi." Said Hermione a little timidly. "Hey" Said Ginny back. "Whatcha reading?" Asked Hermione. "Uh..." said Ginny blushing a bit. "Well...you're never going to believe this...but..." Ginny lifted the book from off her lap to show Hermione the cover. It read Travels with Trolls by, Gilderoy Lockhart. "I don't care how psychotic he is. He's still damn bloody hot!" Said Ginny. Hermione burst out laughing, and Ginny joined her a couple seconds later.
The sound of Ginny's laughter along with hers, made Hermione almost cry out of happiness. This is what being with Ginny meant. It felt almost as thought they were back at the burrow, gossiping and laughing about each others silliness. After the laughter had ended, Ginny went back to reading, and Hermione got up to look out of the tower window.
It was almost dark outside, but she could still see a little figure walking around. Knowing who it was, Hermione felt a deep tug of longing to go outside and be with him, but the sound of Harry's voice stopped her. "Butterbeer?" Pulling her eyes away from the window, she replied "Yes" Harry rather quickly thrust a bottle in her hand, and went back to balancing the towering pile of food he was carrying. Hermione looked at Ron, to find him also carrying a huge stack. "Uh..." said Hermione half way between confusion and humor. "We thought we'd throw a bit of a party." "Drinks all around!" Yelled Ron as Dean, Seamus, and Neville entered the common room holding even more food.
Twenty minutes later, everyone was laughing and talking even more enthusiastically, with the addition of butterbeer, and cake inside their stomachs. Everyone except Hermione, who sat alone by the fire, thinking, amazingly blocking out the loud talking going on around her. You didn't have to guess who she was thinking about. She felt so trapped inside this circular room. She could not believe the longing she felt to be outside right now. It was like an invisible force had grabbed hold of her heart, and was trying to pull her out onto the grounds. She got up and looked out the window, but she couldn't see Draco anymore. Either because it was too dark, or he wasn't there. Feeling her eyes start to water, she realized how stressed out she was.
She slipped away from the common room and retreated to the silence of her dormitory. She decided to do some drawing, which was always therapeutic. She got her sketch book out, along with some pencils and started to draw. She decided to draw the castle, with its glimmering lake, and fresh green grounds. After she finished drawing this beautiful sight, she penciled in two figures walking together around the lake, and smiled at the thought. It wasn't until then that she realized it was almost midnight. Gasping at the fact she was up so late on a school night, she put all her drawing supplies away, just as a very hyper Lavender and Parvati came into the dorm. Lavender paused laughing to notice Hermione and say, "Well?"
Hermione furrowed her eyebrows. "Well, what?" Lavender giggled a bit. Not at Hermione's response, but out of sugar high. "Tell us what's up! We want to know why! Is it because he's MAD hot and you want his DAMN SEXY body?" At this Parvati and Lavender burst out in straight hysterics. "What have you guys been smoking?" Asked Hermione, bewildered. Instead of getting a reply, she got even more uncontrollable laughs.
Hermione rolled her eyes and got into bed sighing. "Well, it's good to see your pj's have dried, from you wet and wild outside this morning." Parvati commented, managing somehow to control herself. "Uh...yah." said Hermione. She really was getting tired of this. "Oh come ON, Hermione!" said Parvati, "Lighten up!" "What are you talking about?" Hermione asked accidentally letting go of her anger, and raising her voice. "Well, it's obvious, really." At this, for no reason, Lavender burst out in a disgusting version of Obvious by Christina Aguilera. "Lavender, Shut up." said Hermione "What's obvious Parvati?" Parvati stopped laughing, and suddenly looked deadly serious. "You just want the attention, don't you Hermione?" For the second time that day, Hermione suspected a conspiracy. "What..the..fuck?" "You want to be bad for one time in your fucking life. You're getting tired of being a little dork aren't you?" Hermione laughed out of complete absurdity. 'This is so not happening' thought Hermione. "...SO!" continued Parvati, stumbling a bit "You go for the deadly gorgeous, rebellious, bad boy Slytherin!" Hermione stared in amazement for a second, then said sarcastically, "Wow...you're just mapping out my whole plan! Good job Parvati."
And with that she pulled her drapes back, and remained silent, until she heard Lavender and Parvati crawl into bed, whispering and giggling. Hermione lay awake, thinking. Is that really what people thought? Or was it just Lavender and Parvati being high....or drunk...or both? Hermione let out a confused, sad, impatient sigh, and closed her eyes.
Hermione tiredly woke up at 6:00 AM the next morning, to get ready for the day. She was grateful to see that Lavender and Parvati were still asleep. She put her robe on, grabbed her toiletry bag, and headed for the bathrooms.
Hermione felt even luckier that the bathroom she entered was empty, as she really didn't want to talk to anyone about anything right now. She washed her face brushed her teeth, and then moved to her make-up.
Lavender entered, as Hermione was charming her hair to lay calmly curly, and didn't say anything. Hermione watched Lavender nervously out of the corner of her eye. "Shit." Said Lavender, annoyed as she dropped her lavender eye shadow, and it broke, powder flying everywhere. "Here," Hermione said, expressionlessly, shoving her eye shadow compact at Lavender, and leaving.
Once back in her dorm, Hermione got dressed in her uniform and went down to the common room exactly at 7. Harry climbed in the portrait hole, fully dressed and smiled at Hermione. "Morning" "Good Morning." said Hermione. Silence. "Where's Ron?" asked Hermione. On cue, Ron appeared, still in pajamas. "S'it time for breakfast?" he asked drowsily, "Yah..." said Harry looking at Ron strangely. Ron grumbled grumpily, and said "Lets go..." he made his way over to the portrait hole, but Harry caught his arm saying, "You might want to change into something else first, mate." Ron looked down at his 'ensemble' and muttered "fuck" under his breath.
Five minutes later Harry, Ron, and Hermione were making their way down to the great hall for breakfast. When they arrived, Harry, and Hermione sat across from Ron at the Gryffindor table, who was still comically disheveled. Helping herself to toast, Hermione glanced at Draco across the hall, but he wasn't paying attention to anything it seemed. Monday mornings didn't seem to do good for anyone. "Thanks" someone said, as they walked by, placing the eye shadow compact in front of Hermione. Hermione turned to say 'your welcome' only to see Harry slap Lavender's ass. 'Oh god...I really did not need to see that,' Thought Hermione. She turned to Ron to see his face in his pancakes, almost snoring. Hermione slapped her forehead, and went back to her toast.
~*~*~*~*~
Draco looked blurrily at his orange juice, and thought 'Mondays...are...stupid' He looked over at Hermione, but she wasn't looking at him. However, she was about the only one. People were still slightly afraid of him. No one had missed the fact it was still less than a week since he had shot someone, and knocked two guys out. And, considering who these three people were, there was also now no doubt that he really was in league with the dark lord. Everyone kept throwing him unsure glances now and then, and he was getting really impatient. Grabbing some toast, and his bag, he left the hall.
He soon regretted his decision. He usually enjoyed being alone, but now as he looked at the stone walls, he suddenly got a flash of the dream he had been having every night since he shot Hermione. He closed his eyes, to see the stone walls spattered with blood, and opened them quickly again. He hurried up the stone staircase to his first class, trying to take his mind off it.
~*~*~*~*~
The day passed normally, and finally, it was time for lunch, but Hermione couldn't relax. She had to go and ask her professors for further explanation on what she had missed, and to hand in late assignments. They all asked her how she was feeling, and she had told every one of them that she was fine...this was, all, except for Snape of course, who just sneered and snatched the essay from her.
By the time she had left the dungeons, she realized, that it was already time for her afternoon classes. For once in her life, Hermione did not want to go to class. The only thing she felt like doing was talking to Draco. She was so worried about him. That fight must have messed him up more, and she hadn't even tried to talk to him. 'Oh well,' she thought. 'Maybe later tonight. And if not then, I'll definitely see him tomorrow at 8 for counseling'
~*~*~*~*~
Draco arrived in the great hall for lunch, a little late. He had searched the school a little bit for Hermione, but upon not finding her, he decided to make his last check in the great hall. He didn't see her, and felt his heart fall. He needed to talk to her. He didn't know what about, but he just needed to for some reason. He felt oddly strange, and out of place without her.
He sat down at his table, and helped himself to some turkey sandwiches, and a bowl of soup. He sat there, eating his food, but not really paying attention to it. He had spaced out from his friends' conversation, and instead discussed his thoughts about Hermione with himself.
He had always found walking around outside to be calming, but when Hermione was with him that one morning...everything was so...so beautiful. He had felt so secure, and so happy. Although there wasn't much to talk about, there seemed to be a connection that didn't require the use of words. And even more than just having a connection, she gave him a reason to stay at Hogwarts.
'But then, she's a mudblood. And I have pure blood...even if I'm not a Malfoy anymore. But then if I'm not a Malfoy, then it doesn't matter. But...fuck This is so confusing.' Talk now, think later. I just can't take this anymore. Where the fuck is Hermione? Draco pushed out from his seat, and left the great hall, to see Hermione, across the entrance hall talking to Harry. Draco felt something drop in his stomach as he looked at Hermione. He wanted to go up to her. But what if she was mad at him? What if the fucking potty, and weasel, told her that he had started the fight?
Just as he was about to cross the hall, Hermione hugged Harry, kissed him on the check, and departed full speed up the stone stair case.
~*~*~*~*~
Draco, didn't go to dinner. He decided he needed a walk, before going to see Madame Moyse. But, just as he reached the oak front doors, Madame Moyse can over to him. "Sorry Draco," she said. "I was wondering if we could do this session early. My daughter needs some help at home later." Draco wanted to walk, but he followed her up the stairs anyway.
"So, Draco. How have you been feeling?" "Uh...okay, I guess....I'm still having that dream." "Hmm." responded Madame Moyse, jotting down some notes. "Tell me about the dream, one more time." Draco sighed, resigned to the fact that he had to tell her again. "All I see is snow with blood in it, then I hear people screaming. Then I'm walking in a corridor, with blood smeared all over the place. And then I'm walking in a graveyard, and I fall and die..." "Hmm" Replied Madame Moyse, once again, as she took more notes. "Interesting. Well, what I think it means is-"
"Uh, Madame Moyse, I was hoping we could talk about something else." Startled, Madame Moyse looked up. "Sure Draco. What's on your mind?" "Well, there's this person..."
~*~*~*~*~
Hermione searched the Slytherin table frantically at dinner time, but did not see Draco. Harry handed her a chicken pot pie. "Thanks Harry." She said absent mindedly. "You okay, Hermione?" Asked Ron. "...Yeah..."She said, still searching the Slytherin table. Harry leaned in closer to Hermione, "Is it about Draco?" Hermione looked at Harry and nodded. Harry and Ron exchanged glances
She could tell that neither of them were over the moon about this, but still Harry asked, "Do you want to talk about it?" Hermione shook her head. "Not here." "Then where?" "I dunno...somewhere where people can't hear us." "Lets go, then" Said Ron. Grabbing another pie, and heading for the exit. Hermione smiled and followed.
~*~*~*~*~
"What about this person?" "Well, this person had really been there for me lately. I mean, except for the past few days. I mean, she was there, and then I got into that fight, and I haven't spoken to her since." "So...this is a girl...and she talked to you... and then you got in a fight...and now she doesn't talk to you...anymore." said Madame Moyse, as she wrote it down. She looked at Draco. "Do you know why?" "...No." Draco said "Well. It could be that I got in a fight with her two best friends." "Ah." Said Madame Moyse. "I see. Well since you haven't talked to her, I suggest that you do. Now I've got to run. Send me an owl if you need anything, Draco. I'll look over my notes and see you Wednesday." And with that she picked up her clip board, and purse and left the classroom.
Draco sighed, not feeling any better, and went back to the great hall, thankful that it was still dinner. However he was hugely disappointed that Hermione wasn't there...again! 'Doesn't that girl ever eat?' He thought. But then he noticed that Potter and Weasley, weren't there either, and with a stab of jealousy knew who she was with.
~*~*~*~*~
"So what's up?" asked Harry. They were alone in the Gyriffindor common room. Hermione didn't know why, but she just burst out crying. Harry, and Ron, quite alarmed, ran over to comfort her, Ron with a fork in his mouth. "Hermione!" said Ron desperately (not so amazingly, he had mastered talking with food in his mouth.) "Tell us what wrong!"
Hermione found that she didn't quite know what to say. "Has Draco done something to you?" asked Harry. "No" Sobbed Hermione. "It's just that this last week has been so hectic and scary. I saw someone I've known for almost six years try and kill himself, then thought I was going to die, then gotten into a fight with you two, and then you guys got into a fight, and then he's not talking to me anymore and. And..." she knew she probably didn't make any sense, but she couldn't explain now, she could hardly breath. "Shh, Hermione...It's okay." Harry said, as Ron patted her back.
~*~*~*~*~
Draco sat alone, his head in his hands, resisting the urge to cry. Cry until he didn't have the energy to think anymore. His mother and father...were not his anymore. He didn't want to be a death eater, but felt that he had no way out of it. However, he wasn't sure he had to be anymore. That pretty much summed up how Draco felt. He wasn't sure of anything, and it was driving him mad. Had his father really disowned him? Or would he be back with more torture for Draco to live up to once he had calmed down? Either way, he was sure his father wouldn't want him to be with Hermione. Draco was used to being able to sit and sort out his problems. But now that he wasn't able to answer any of his questions, or organize his thoughts, he became frustrated. He roared, feeling his self control leaving him, he stood up, and threw his chair against the wall.
~*~*~*~*~
Another day passed with no sign of Draco. Hermione was greatly looking forward to her counseling appointment with Draco that evening. She wanted to tell him everything was okay. She wanted to talk to him about the fight. She wanted just to talk to him, actually. To see his face, and hear his voice. That was all she needed.
~*~*~*~*~
Draco was making his way to the charms class to meet Hermione. He was just at the Marble stair case when Snape exited the dungeons and called "Malfoy, where are you going? You have a detention with me, now." "Oh! Professor, could we do it later? I have to go see..." "Of course we can't do it later." replied Snape "Later, I have an appointment with the Headmaster about you." "What?..." said Draco confused. "Draco..." Said Snape with an impatient sigh "My office now. I want you to re-label some of my potion ingredients."
Draco felt his heart flinch, and promised himself he would hunt Hermione down if he had to, if that's what it meant to apologize. He had completely forgotten that he had a detention that night. He hoped Hermione would understand...
~*~*~*~*~
Hermione waited patiently in the Charms class, not wanting to believe that Draco wasn't coming. 'He couldn't be that mad...could he?'
she heard the clock click 9:00, just as the tears started to fall down Hermione's face. She grabbed her bag, and ran for her dorm.
A/N: I know it's been...oh, how many months since I last updated!? My computer died! I had to get a new one, and find out a way to transfer my files! Well, it's all done now, so here's a new chapter! Hope you guys didn't get too lost. Please R&R so I can improve as an author!