a/n: I know that this was short but I wanted to test what I made happen before I posted the next part which I promise will be longer.
Dinner time rolled around. There is silence at the table. Even the usually perky Sati is being quiet. Is this my fault?
Sati is eating quietly, finishing off her chicken and rice. The Oracle has finished and is now clearing the table, she insisted on eating ahead of time. Seraph was programmed to never HAVE to eat, but he is still drinking tea. I never have to eat either, but with my injuries I need nutrition and that won't come from just a drink. I sit around, wondering why the table is so quiet, then finally a conversation starts.
"You're wearing the bracelet," Sati notices. It is true. I decided to wear it. Not for the good luck, just to make a good impression, I was always big on making a good impression.
"Yeah," I blandly anwer.
"Why? I didn't expect you to," she was so innocent.
"Sati," the Oracle scolded.
"Sorry Oracle. But it's true! I really didn't think he would wear it," she was pleading to not be in trouble.
"It's alright," I speak in her defense, "I understand completely.
"But still," the Oracle sighed, "It's not something to be said about someone.
"Once again, I understand what she means. If anything she should keep going. I deserve everything that she can say," I'm not lying. I do deserve what she tells me. I really know that I shouldn't be here, I know that I shouldn't have been brought back, but I was and I was ready to hear all the punishment this world could give me, I deserve every bit. There's nothing else to go on for.
"Smith," the Oracle is glaring at me. I lower my head, brace myself for what's to come.
"Stop," she pleads. 'Stop'? She wants me to stop scolding myself. She wants me NOT to get punished?
"What?" I am so confused.
"Stop being so hard on yourself. You were brought back for a reason. What the reason is is beyond me but I still know that there is a purpose and to serve your purpose you have to hold your head high."
"Why?" I don't have to, she just wants me to.
"Because, if you keep this up you're not going to ever reach your full potential," she sounded confident enough.
"Full potential? I was there as an agent! I can never be that person again," I know that this isn't a lie. I could work hard, but never could I move the way an agent moves, not in this form, not if I freeze when I see the barrel of a gun pointed at me.
"Smith," she sighed. What was I doing NOW.
She walked over and put her hand on my left shoulder. I winced and she withdrew. She doesn't know it, but that didn't hurt, I just didn't want her to touch me.
"I'm sorry," she started.
"No, don't be, it's my fault, it always is."
Sati now is over by Seraph, worried from what I can tell. Seraph seems emotionless, as always. The Oracle is staring at me.
I don't care anymore. I don't want to be around these people. If I can't leave then I can shut them out. I push the table away, hard. It moves a good two feet. I'm not even happy that I accomplished this feet, I just want to get away, away from these people.
The Oracle is known for being so smart, knowing everything. If she knew everything though, she wouldn't have touched me; she would have stopped and let me keep taking the fall, the blame that I deserved.
I run into the room they gave me and slam the door shut. I'm sure that they heard that, they can now know my anger, but they will never know my pain.
I am not an agent, nor a virus. I am not a human that is trapped, nor a free human. I am nothing. I make my own category. I am alone in this category, just like I am alone in this world, this artificial sanctuary for the weak human minds. I am nothing, but I was everything. I was the wind, I was the earth, I was every single living creature. I WAS everything, but I am nothing now, and I accept that. I don't want to accept that, but I do.
I want nothing to do with this world. I want to leave this terrible and cruel world. I look to the window and I know how. I open the window and feel the fresh air. I hear the doorknob rattle and know they are coming. I hear the door open, but they are too late. I am already outside the window ready to take the plunge. And I do, I really try and fall, and get away from this world!
I feel myself go a few feet and then jerk. There are hands that have grabbed me. I look up and see Seraph, on the windowsill, held by the Oracle and grabbing me around the waist. It hurts where he grabbed me, but I don't care. I want to feel the pain, to know that I am still alive. I want to feel this, it's all that I have left to feel.
He pulls me back through the window. I notice that Sati is not in the room.
"SMITH!" the Oracle scolds me, but then she breaks down. The Oracle, the powerful and mighty Oracle is crying because I nearly died.
I tilt my head to the side. She is now sitting on the bed. I walk over and sit next to her.
"You idiot," she tries to yell but she can't, "You could have been killed!"
"I know, that was the point," I sound so bland. The words sound like poison to me. Poison running out of my veins, into my mouth, and out of my body.
"Don't," she commands me now.
"Don't?" I still don't see why losing ME was such a big deal.
"Don't leave. Don't die. Don't kill yourself. I told you that you need to stay here and I plan on that happening. In time you will get better, in time everything will get better," she had almost completely stopped crying and was very reassuring. I still couldn't be certain though.
"Tonight I want you to sleep, for real, and," she turned to Seraph, "you will stay with him. Stop him at all costs from hurting himself." Seraph nodded and she turned to me, "Now rest. That was quite an experience for all of us. Lay your head down, get some sleep."
"It's too early I..." she placed her hand in front of my lips, lightly touching them.
"Sh, don't start up with that. Now, lay your head down," she was just as gentle with her words, but more stern about how she got the message through. I obeyed and lay down. "Good," she whispered.
I closed my eyes and I felt her start to stroke my head. I didn't care anymore though, I WAS tired and it helped me fall asleep.
I fell asleep fast, and didn't wake up for a long time.
a/n scary you? Please review!
Dinner time rolled around. There is silence at the table. Even the usually perky Sati is being quiet. Is this my fault?
Sati is eating quietly, finishing off her chicken and rice. The Oracle has finished and is now clearing the table, she insisted on eating ahead of time. Seraph was programmed to never HAVE to eat, but he is still drinking tea. I never have to eat either, but with my injuries I need nutrition and that won't come from just a drink. I sit around, wondering why the table is so quiet, then finally a conversation starts.
"You're wearing the bracelet," Sati notices. It is true. I decided to wear it. Not for the good luck, just to make a good impression, I was always big on making a good impression.
"Yeah," I blandly anwer.
"Why? I didn't expect you to," she was so innocent.
"Sati," the Oracle scolded.
"Sorry Oracle. But it's true! I really didn't think he would wear it," she was pleading to not be in trouble.
"It's alright," I speak in her defense, "I understand completely.
"But still," the Oracle sighed, "It's not something to be said about someone.
"Once again, I understand what she means. If anything she should keep going. I deserve everything that she can say," I'm not lying. I do deserve what she tells me. I really know that I shouldn't be here, I know that I shouldn't have been brought back, but I was and I was ready to hear all the punishment this world could give me, I deserve every bit. There's nothing else to go on for.
"Smith," the Oracle is glaring at me. I lower my head, brace myself for what's to come.
"Stop," she pleads. 'Stop'? She wants me to stop scolding myself. She wants me NOT to get punished?
"What?" I am so confused.
"Stop being so hard on yourself. You were brought back for a reason. What the reason is is beyond me but I still know that there is a purpose and to serve your purpose you have to hold your head high."
"Why?" I don't have to, she just wants me to.
"Because, if you keep this up you're not going to ever reach your full potential," she sounded confident enough.
"Full potential? I was there as an agent! I can never be that person again," I know that this isn't a lie. I could work hard, but never could I move the way an agent moves, not in this form, not if I freeze when I see the barrel of a gun pointed at me.
"Smith," she sighed. What was I doing NOW.
She walked over and put her hand on my left shoulder. I winced and she withdrew. She doesn't know it, but that didn't hurt, I just didn't want her to touch me.
"I'm sorry," she started.
"No, don't be, it's my fault, it always is."
Sati now is over by Seraph, worried from what I can tell. Seraph seems emotionless, as always. The Oracle is staring at me.
I don't care anymore. I don't want to be around these people. If I can't leave then I can shut them out. I push the table away, hard. It moves a good two feet. I'm not even happy that I accomplished this feet, I just want to get away, away from these people.
The Oracle is known for being so smart, knowing everything. If she knew everything though, she wouldn't have touched me; she would have stopped and let me keep taking the fall, the blame that I deserved.
I run into the room they gave me and slam the door shut. I'm sure that they heard that, they can now know my anger, but they will never know my pain.
I am not an agent, nor a virus. I am not a human that is trapped, nor a free human. I am nothing. I make my own category. I am alone in this category, just like I am alone in this world, this artificial sanctuary for the weak human minds. I am nothing, but I was everything. I was the wind, I was the earth, I was every single living creature. I WAS everything, but I am nothing now, and I accept that. I don't want to accept that, but I do.
I want nothing to do with this world. I want to leave this terrible and cruel world. I look to the window and I know how. I open the window and feel the fresh air. I hear the doorknob rattle and know they are coming. I hear the door open, but they are too late. I am already outside the window ready to take the plunge. And I do, I really try and fall, and get away from this world!
I feel myself go a few feet and then jerk. There are hands that have grabbed me. I look up and see Seraph, on the windowsill, held by the Oracle and grabbing me around the waist. It hurts where he grabbed me, but I don't care. I want to feel the pain, to know that I am still alive. I want to feel this, it's all that I have left to feel.
He pulls me back through the window. I notice that Sati is not in the room.
"SMITH!" the Oracle scolds me, but then she breaks down. The Oracle, the powerful and mighty Oracle is crying because I nearly died.
I tilt my head to the side. She is now sitting on the bed. I walk over and sit next to her.
"You idiot," she tries to yell but she can't, "You could have been killed!"
"I know, that was the point," I sound so bland. The words sound like poison to me. Poison running out of my veins, into my mouth, and out of my body.
"Don't," she commands me now.
"Don't?" I still don't see why losing ME was such a big deal.
"Don't leave. Don't die. Don't kill yourself. I told you that you need to stay here and I plan on that happening. In time you will get better, in time everything will get better," she had almost completely stopped crying and was very reassuring. I still couldn't be certain though.
"Tonight I want you to sleep, for real, and," she turned to Seraph, "you will stay with him. Stop him at all costs from hurting himself." Seraph nodded and she turned to me, "Now rest. That was quite an experience for all of us. Lay your head down, get some sleep."
"It's too early I..." she placed her hand in front of my lips, lightly touching them.
"Sh, don't start up with that. Now, lay your head down," she was just as gentle with her words, but more stern about how she got the message through. I obeyed and lay down. "Good," she whispered.
I closed my eyes and I felt her start to stroke my head. I didn't care anymore though, I WAS tired and it helped me fall asleep.
I fell asleep fast, and didn't wake up for a long time.
a/n scary you? Please review!