Meanwhile, Red set his Voot-Cruiser coordinates to Bahamia, the planet of
the neverending spring break. He could almost taste the margarita salt in
his mouth, feel the sunscreen on his face, the sand a few inches below his
feet, the hot sun scorching his antennae...burning...burning...burning...
"HOLY CRAP MY SHIP'S ON FIRE!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, rudely
awakened from his reverie by the hull of his ship twisting and buckling
beneath a sheet of blue-white flame. A fist-size asteroid had punctured his
gas tank, setting the entire ship ablaze.
"Computer, find me the coordinates of the nearest planet NOOOOWWWW!" Red
commanded his ship. After a moment, the location selected popped up on the
soon-to-be-melted screen, and Red groaned as the androgynous voice of his
ship recited the planet's information.
"You have selected: Earth.
Emergency crash-landing will commence."
Cut to Foodcourtia. Deya and Purple sat at an enormous smoothie bar, Deya
looking distinctly nervous and Purple looking distinctly oblivious. Both of
them were sucking on 72-ounce orange smoothies. Suddenly, Purple's eyes
narrowed and he looked over at 'Red' suspiciously. Deya froze, and not just
because of her monster brainfreeze.
"Hey..." Purple began. "I thought you hated orange smoothies..." He said
slowly. Deya swallowed her mouthful of orange-flavored slush and tried
frantically to come up with a answer.
"No, that was you..." She said at last. Purple stared at her for an endless
stretch of silence, then stood up and shouted at the clerks at the smoothie
bar.
"You're right! I hate orange!" Declared Purple, upending his half-drunk
slushie on top of one of the clerk's heads. "Get me a coconut!" Another
clerk saluted and rushed off, returning momentarily with a gargantuan
coconut smoothie. Purple sighed in satisfaction, once again taking his seat
next to Deya. Before he could get his mouth around the bright blue straw,
it sank into the white slush and out of view. Purple poked his pointy
fingers into his drink, but couldn't retrieve it. He looked over at 'Red,'
calmly slurping on her orange smoothie, and then poked her in the shoulder.
"Hey, Red...I'm just gonna borrow one of these." He said, then reached over
and plucked one of the straws from behind Deya's antenna. Instantly it
sproinged back to it's natural curly shape, leaving the other one remaining
suspiciously straight. Deya clapped a hand over her antenna and looked
around frantically, but Purple meanwhile was completely clueless, and
proceeded to suck down his drink through the new straw.
"Ineedagothebathroom." Deya said quickly, rising from her seat and zooming
towards the bathrooms. On the way, she plucked a new straw from the
dispenser, and then disappeared.
Red slowly regained consciousness, his vision dim and blurry. He looked up
at the ceiling, crawling in thick, snakelike chords, and then lifted a hand
to his aching forehead.
"Oh, my slarking forehead...why am I not at Bahamia?" He mumbled, and tried
to rise. Tight straps bound him to the crisp, hospital-eqsue bed. Confused,
Red once again attempted to get off the bed. And once again, the
constricting leather straps held him down. He began to panic and started
thrashing around, only to be pulled up short by a searing pain in his legs.
"Ow! Damn it, my legs!" He howled. A door somewhere out of his view slid
open, and he heard footsteps approaching. His eyes opened wide and he tried
to twist his head to get a glimpse of the figure. But he was unable to see
who...or what...was drawing nearer until they popped up in his face.
"My Tallest! You have awakened! How fortunate your Voot-Cruiser happened to
crash land in my very own front yard!" A familiar, grating voice drilled
into his ears. Before him, still hazy in Red's disoriented state, was the
nightmarish face of the cursed Invader Zim.
the neverending spring break. He could almost taste the margarita salt in
his mouth, feel the sunscreen on his face, the sand a few inches below his
feet, the hot sun scorching his antennae...burning...burning...burning...
"HOLY CRAP MY SHIP'S ON FIRE!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, rudely
awakened from his reverie by the hull of his ship twisting and buckling
beneath a sheet of blue-white flame. A fist-size asteroid had punctured his
gas tank, setting the entire ship ablaze.
"Computer, find me the coordinates of the nearest planet NOOOOWWWW!" Red
commanded his ship. After a moment, the location selected popped up on the
soon-to-be-melted screen, and Red groaned as the androgynous voice of his
ship recited the planet's information.
"You have selected: Earth.
Emergency crash-landing will commence."
Cut to Foodcourtia. Deya and Purple sat at an enormous smoothie bar, Deya
looking distinctly nervous and Purple looking distinctly oblivious. Both of
them were sucking on 72-ounce orange smoothies. Suddenly, Purple's eyes
narrowed and he looked over at 'Red' suspiciously. Deya froze, and not just
because of her monster brainfreeze.
"Hey..." Purple began. "I thought you hated orange smoothies..." He said
slowly. Deya swallowed her mouthful of orange-flavored slush and tried
frantically to come up with a answer.
"No, that was you..." She said at last. Purple stared at her for an endless
stretch of silence, then stood up and shouted at the clerks at the smoothie
bar.
"You're right! I hate orange!" Declared Purple, upending his half-drunk
slushie on top of one of the clerk's heads. "Get me a coconut!" Another
clerk saluted and rushed off, returning momentarily with a gargantuan
coconut smoothie. Purple sighed in satisfaction, once again taking his seat
next to Deya. Before he could get his mouth around the bright blue straw,
it sank into the white slush and out of view. Purple poked his pointy
fingers into his drink, but couldn't retrieve it. He looked over at 'Red,'
calmly slurping on her orange smoothie, and then poked her in the shoulder.
"Hey, Red...I'm just gonna borrow one of these." He said, then reached over
and plucked one of the straws from behind Deya's antenna. Instantly it
sproinged back to it's natural curly shape, leaving the other one remaining
suspiciously straight. Deya clapped a hand over her antenna and looked
around frantically, but Purple meanwhile was completely clueless, and
proceeded to suck down his drink through the new straw.
"Ineedagothebathroom." Deya said quickly, rising from her seat and zooming
towards the bathrooms. On the way, she plucked a new straw from the
dispenser, and then disappeared.
Red slowly regained consciousness, his vision dim and blurry. He looked up
at the ceiling, crawling in thick, snakelike chords, and then lifted a hand
to his aching forehead.
"Oh, my slarking forehead...why am I not at Bahamia?" He mumbled, and tried
to rise. Tight straps bound him to the crisp, hospital-eqsue bed. Confused,
Red once again attempted to get off the bed. And once again, the
constricting leather straps held him down. He began to panic and started
thrashing around, only to be pulled up short by a searing pain in his legs.
"Ow! Damn it, my legs!" He howled. A door somewhere out of his view slid
open, and he heard footsteps approaching. His eyes opened wide and he tried
to twist his head to get a glimpse of the figure. But he was unable to see
who...or what...was drawing nearer until they popped up in his face.
"My Tallest! You have awakened! How fortunate your Voot-Cruiser happened to
crash land in my very own front yard!" A familiar, grating voice drilled
into his ears. Before him, still hazy in Red's disoriented state, was the
nightmarish face of the cursed Invader Zim.