Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.
In the morning I made my way back out to the rock I had used the day before and I began my workout. I became aware of Yuthura watching me, she seldom left the Academy I had heard but I gather the tale of yesterday's workout had reached her ears. I reminded myself of my mediation and went back to my workout. She was still there when I finished and when I sprang down from the rock and dried off I could see her staring at my tattoo. Thankfully the motto was obscured by my trunks.
She said "Greetings my friend." and chuckled softly and commented "I do rather enjoy saying that."
I smiled back at her and said "Good morning my friend, how are you today?" She commented on the beautiful work on my back and I thanked her. She mentioned that I was amazingly fit to be able to do such a long workout and I told her I did my best to go through it everyday.
She then asked me what my plans for the day were and I pointed to a tomb that had been calling to me ever since I had arrived on this planet. She looked at me and I could see worry in her eyes, she told me that no student had ever returned from exploring the tomb. It was rumored that Revan had entered and exited the tomb but she did not know the truth of that.
I asked if she had known Revan, and she said no she had never meet her though she had heard that she was very powerful woman, very charismatic. She finished "In the end, Revan was outshone by her pupil. Such is the way of the Sith. Why is this dead woman of importance to you?"
I said "So except for the fact that Revan is dead, you wouldn't recognize Revan if the two of you met."
I knew it was an odd statement but Yuthura shrugged and said "Is there any reason I should. Beside the fact that I did not know Revan in life, Revan was known for wearing a full helmet and cape. Perhaps Revan's body had been disfigured by the power of the Force... it is not unheard of. Regardless, I doubt I shall be meeting Revan anytime soon."
I nodded and agreed that was unlikely given the fact that Revan was dead.
I started off toward the tomb and Yuthura said "Why does it call to you?" I answered her "I don't know, but now I want to find out what Revan found." I had dressed during our conversation and I drank some water and swallowed a food capsule. I motioned for Jolee and HK to come out of the shade and we entered the tomb.
There were a few Tuk'ata at the beginning of the tomb but we quickly came to and area with a walkway across it. There was an obelisk of theragen blocking the way and I motioned Jolee and HK back while I placed a fragmentation grenade in the in one of the crevices. When the grenade went off the pillar exploded, then the assault droids across the way activated and started firing at us. Using the Force it was but a moments work to destroy all of them. The way was clear to the tomb of Ajunta Pall. This was the source of the sense of sadness and regret I sensed about the planet and I was drawn to it. We entered the tomb and I opened the sarcophagus revealing the withered remains of Ajunta Pall.
Suddenly his spirit arose from the dead body and said "Too long... too long in the cold and the dark. I am disturbed again? A human...A.... Jedi? Here? Why have you come to this dark place, Jedi? Why... disturb my sleepless rest?"
I looked at the spirit and asked "I was here once before, I think. Do you remember me?"
Ajunta Pall looked at and in me and said "I do... and yet I do not. The Force is so strong within you human... yet the face, the soul... it has been so very long..."
His pain and remorse drew me, it so matched the pain and remorse in my own heart. I said "Are you... Ajunta Pall?"
The spirit said "I... had a name, once. Ajunta Pall. Yes, that was my name. I was one of many. We were servants of the dark side... Sith Lords we called ourselves, so proud. In the end we were not so proud. We hid... hid from those we had betrayed. We fell and I knew it would be so..."
I asked him "What do you mean by those we had betrayed?" The spirit answered "Our Jedi Masters. Those who had taught us to use the Force... who warned us against the dark side. Yet we embraced it in secret, reveled in its power. We were discovered... or did we act? I can no longer remember. But here is where we came... to hide, to grow. And here we fell.
I asked him "How did you fall? What happened?"
The Spirit looked at me and said "We hid from the Jedi, but it was not they who destroyed us... Is it not obvious what we did? We destroyed each other. We desired the secrets of each other, in increase our power... we battled until finally our fortress rained down on top of us. And so here our old secret is buried and none of us hold it anymore... is that not right? Our power fled. Oh, what became of us? Do... do the Sith still thrive? Did they ever return?"
I answered "They returned, and endanger us all... and the light side must battle them." The Spirit said "So much... so much time has passed. And yet we have learned nothing... nothing..." I asked him "Why do you remain here?"
He replied "Remain? Do I remain? I have regretted for so long all that I have done. My sword I filled it with my pride. And it is buried with me now. A corpse as I am a corpse. I am dead, as my faith... is dead. I shall remain here... surrounded by blackness in death as in life."
I looked at him and said "So alike, both of us, regretting the past and the things that cannot be undone. I feel sorry for you."
The Spirit looked at me and said "Most of my brethren would desire only to take what power I have left. Even if it would destroy them. I wish my sword to be taken away from here. I do not wish it to rot away as I have. I command this of you."
I asked "What do you want me to do with it?" The Spirit said "If you are wise, you will not keep it. In the end it is what destroyed me. There are three blades within my sarcophagus. Only one is truly my sword, but it has been so long I do not remember which. Find the sword that is mine and place it on the statue. If it is truly mine then it is yours."
I asked "And if the sword isn't yours?"
"Then you must die. This is how it must be." said the Spirit of Ajunta Pall.
I said "How will I know which sword it is?"
Ajunta Pall replied "I do remember one thing of my sword. Listen to me carefully. I am that which grips the heart in fright, hearkens night and silences the light. It was written of my sword long... long ago. Go then... find my sword and place it on the statue."
I walked over to the sarcophagus and picked up the three swords and went over to the statue and placed one of the swords within its grasp. I knew which sword it was his I could feel his pride within it.
I returned to the Spirit and he said "Yes that is the one. That is the blade that destroyed me. Take it and the other blades, even take them and go. My darkness awaits me..."
I looked at him and reached out impulsively to him and said "There's no need to remain here, is there?"
He looked at my hand and at me and said "No need? What choice have I?"
I said in a harsh voice "The same one I have, You can return to the light side and end your torment."
I felt the touch of the Spirit on my extended hand and he said "Return? But I betrayed my old masters. They would never let me return to the light side it is too late... too late."
I felt his lack of hope his lack of forgiveness for himself and they were so familiar. We both were our own obstacles to returning to the light. I realized however I knew that he could return to the light, the answer was there in front of me. I could see the connection from the Ajunta Pall to where he needed to be to return to the light. I saw the path and I said "I don't believe the light side would turn you away. You have suffered long enough."
I could sense the Spirit searching me and feeling my belief in what I said and Ajunta Pall said "If... if I could return. Oh my Master... it has been... so long... and I regret so much..." I could feel him returning to the light and it was an indescribable experience.
He faded and I kneeled and covered my face and wept. I cried this time not for Bastila but for myself. Jolee came over and sat beside me while I mourned all that I had thrown away, all that I had lost, all that I had destroyed. I mourned the loss of Jedi Revan and the things I had done as Lord Revan. I cried myself out and lay on the floor of the tomb silent. Memories flashed in front of my eyes. I saw a vision of myself following a much younger Bastila on Dantooine, hiding from her but watching over her. I saw the karth hounds; I saw the battle, the kiss. The fear in her eyes and the rejection the words that had broken my heart. How young I had been to not see how much I had frightened her, how foolishly I had responded dealing pain for pain. The flight to war trying to escape the pain of seeing her everyday.
Another memory followed this time a light in the darkness a feeling of being loved and cared for that I had believed to be my mother. Now I was able to place it in its proper place in time and realized that the woman holding me could not be my mother. The only one it could be was Bastila. The light in the darkness grew in my vision until it was all that I could see it encompassed me, within the brightness love shone purely. Bastila loved me; the truth of it had always been there for me to see. That love had been my strength when I thought I could not go on. My warmth in the cold, dark and rain. My comfort when I was in pain.
I slowly sat up and stared into the light that filled the chamber and realized that Bastila had already forgiven me for everything I had done in my past. I just needed to forgive myself just a little, just enough to let myself hope. I had shown Ajunta Pall the path to the light; I had to believe there was one there for me as well if I was willing to travel it. But Bastila... Bastila... I had the deep feeling that I would see the mark of the dark side on Bastila when I saw her next. I would have to hope that I could see the way for her.
I stood up and felt Jolee staring at me searchingly seeing that I had passed a certain turning point. I took out my flask and washed my face and shook the dust out of my robe. And looked at the both of them. I had no idea how much time had passed but it was time to return. I felt curiously empty and at ease with myself. Still though my task was not over and I took care to shield my thoughts and emotions as we walked back up toward the Valley of the Dark Lords. I felt him before I saw him Shaardan. I knew what he wanted. I gave him plenty of time to think about his choices but in the end I was not surprised when he attacked me. He looked surprised when he died and I sighed and walked past his body and out of the tomb.
The Sith student whom I has spoken to earlier saw me and what was in my hand and exclaimed that I had the sword. I could see Yuthura emerge from the shadows a look of relief on her face. I suspected she might be more than just relieved to see that I had the sword and was still alive to assist her in her plan.
She walked up as the student, Galon Lor, asked me how I had acquired it. I said "I got it from Ajunta himself, if you must know."
They both stared at me and Galon said "Are you joking with me? The Sith Lord still lives?"
I said "No, not exactly" I could see they both realized what I was saying and Galon went on about how interesting it was and how he must be off to tell his mentor.
Yuthura looked at me searchingly and then at the tomb and I said "Look for him there no longer, he remains no more in darkness." She stared at me probably wondering what I could mean but I said no more about him instead I said "Let us walk out of this shadow into the light and enjoy the warmth of the sun." I was still speaking in metaphor and I was getting looks from both Jolee and Yuthura. But they followed me out into the sunlight and I lifted my face to the sun and enjoyed its warmth. I listened to the sound of the wind and I no longer heard a lamenting cry upon it, instead it sang to me. I heard them shift and I asked "Do you hear the song of the wind?" I looked at them and Jolee was just stared at me and listened, Yuthura looked baffled.
I shrugged and said that it was probably time to take Uthar Ajunta's sword. We walked back to the Academy and Yuthura hung back while I gave Uthar the sword of Ajunta Pall.
Uthar said "Well done! You have impressed me greatly! You have impressed me enough, by my estimation, to become a Sith in full. Congratulations, young one... you have bested the others quite completely. You have but one final test which you must take, and this requires us to travel to the tomb of Naga Sadow in the Valley of the Dark Lords. I would advise you to be rested and equipped before we leave. Return to your quarters now and seek me in the morning. When you return, make sure that you have all that you will need... for you will face your test alone. Go, and may the Force serve you well."
In the morning I went as instructed to meet with Uthar, I was more than ready to get this over with. Uthar and Yuthura accompanied me; the two verbally sparred and talked about schemes failing. I ignored them and waited for my instructions, I was to follow in my own footsteps and find the Star Map and a lightsaber then return with them. When Uthar asked if I understood I repeated my instructions and then turned to begin my journey into the tomb. An acid pool blocked my direct path to the Star Map and I knew I could jump over it but this was not what I was supposed to do I knew.
I backtracked and took one of the side corridors, I could feel the presence of two terentatek's and I walked cautiously into the room at then end of the corridor and stayed well back from them. I was powerful but two of the beasts would surely kill me. I thought I saw a way to fight them separately and I thought of the rakghoul baiting I had done on Taris. It worked, I was able to creep just close enough to one of them to lure it away from the other and fight it well back from the other beast. Even then it was a difficult fight and I paused to heal before attacking the second beast. The second beast came deadly close to killing me it was old and strong and cunning and only a lucky duck by me kept my head on my shoulders. I took the time to heal my self fully and explored the room they had been lairing in.
I found the skeleton of the last of the three Jedi that had been sent to Korriban in the Great Hunt. I read her journal and wept inside for her, Duran's death and her own despair had pushed her into attacking the two beasts together. Apparently one of the beasts I had killed probably the older one had ambushed them in the Shyrak caves and had killed Duran. Whether she went seeking revenge or her own death I could not tell but I suspected it was both. I could understand her choice, if Bastila were to die would I feel like going on? Or would I too seek out my own death? I did not know the answer.
In the room beyond there were two pillars one contained an ice grenade, one a fire grenade, I left the fire grenade and picked up the ice grenade and proceeded back to the acid pool. There I used the grenade to freeze the pool and proceeded over it to the Star Map. This map was not incomplete and with the data from all four maps the route to an unknown planet was shown and the Star Forge orbited around it. I grabbed the lightsaber and headed back the way I had come. Uthar and Yuthura were waiting standing on the frozen pool of acid for me.
Uthar said "So you return to us with the lightsaber in hand, as I knew you would. You took a great risk in acquiring the artifact. You used your mind and your power... no peaceful meditation, no pacifism. Sometimes you must fight in order to achieve. This gives you your passion, this makes you stronger. This is what makes you superior. That is the lesson we teach with that part of the final test. Do you understand?
I said "The Sith are not the only ones who fight and take risks."
Uthar replied "True, but most would say they fight only when they must... or not at all. We are the ones who know that struggle is what makes us superior.
I asked "Are you saying a Jedi couldn't have gotten the lightsaber?"
Uthar said "When a Jedi acts, it is with skill, true. But the Jedi teach you that your passions are counter-productive. That strength is only found in peace. Did you not feel a moment of excitement in the tomb? Did your passions not flow and make you feel stronger and more alive? What purpose would be served by restricting yourself from such? I would say only the purpose of the Jedi. Through this they would control you and restrict your potential.
I stated "I don't believe you. I don't feel superior to anyone."
Uthar said "If you came to the academy, you must have felt the stirrings within you that cry out for the freedom of the dark side that cry out for release. I can only show you the path that will lead to power and superiority. You have followed it this far... you must decide if you are capable of continuing."
I asked "And if I'm not?"
Uthar said sternly "This is where you path ends, young one. There is no turning back once you have embarked on it."
I nodded and said "I think I understand."
Uthar started speaking of competition and how all life must compete in order to survive, how it was the natural order of things. One comment caught my attention "So it behooves you in this final test to strike down one you are familiar with, for no other reason than to prove you are superior and without mercy."
I blinked at the statement, realizing that Malak would send Bastila against me to kill me. I had known this somewhere inside myself, but now I knew that this was part of the final testing of any Sith.
I pulled my attention back to Uthar and Yuthura for Uthar was telling me I would be fighting Yuthura instead of another student.
I said to Uthar "Sorry, Uthar... I'm with Yuthura on this one."
Uthar said "So the time has come has it? You both wish to stand against a Sith Master and perish, do you?" I waited for him to attack and sprang to Yuthura's defense, his words were empty threat though, for he was not nearly as good as the thought he was, it was not long before he lay dead at my feet. I waited for Yuthura to make her decision.
Yuthura said "Uthar is finished, and a new order is brought to the academy. Excellent. While I do like you... truly... I'm afraid I'm not the type to share power with anyone. Even you."
I had been expecting this and I asked her "Are you sure there's no way other than this?"
She paused then said "I... I'm sure. I told you there was no such thing as friends among the Sith, didn't I. Let's... get this over with." With that she attacked me but I could tell her heart wasn't in it. I did my best to be careful and I was beginning to be afraid that she was going to force me to kill her when she cried "Unggh! Stop! I yield!" I pulled away from her and watched her with anxious eyes.
She slumped over holding a deep wound on her side and said "You are... too strong for me. I was a fool to think otherwise. I am... at your mercy."
I smiled at her and said "You ask for mercy? You a Sith?"
She looked at me and smiled then grimaced in pain and said "I... suppose I am. Something tells me that you are... not like the other students. I don't know why that is. I... was right the first time, back at the cantina, wasn't I? There is something different about you... more so than I expected."
I paused silent and did not answer at first but walked over and laid a hand against her wound and healed her. She straightened and looked up at me for I was slightly taller than she. I nodded and said "Indeed, I am Revan." Yuthura looked at me searchingly and I dropped the tight control on my thoughts.
Yuthura said "I see. I should have known... right from the beginning. But you are no longer the Dark Lord you once were are you? You are Revan... but yet you are not. What I sense of your destiny is... is still unclear. So what happens now? Will you show me mercy? Will you... just let me leave?"
I looked at her and said "You could come with me."
She looked at me startled and the shook her head and said "That's... tempting, but I don't think I could. Your path... it goes somewhere I can't follow." I nodded accepting her answer but glad I had made the offer
I said "Maybe you need to think about your own path."
Yuthura said "I... suppose you could be right. All the things I wanted to do, all the wrongs I wanted to right... I haven't done any of it. They just get farther and farther from my mind. All I've cared about is power and... and myself. This isn't the person I was."
I smiled at her and said "There's still time to change that."
She nodded and said "You're right. Maybe... maybe what I needed most was peace, after all. The Jedi tried to show me that. I don't know if I can ever go back to them... but my place isn't here. Thank you... thank you for showing me that. You have a destiny, my friend, and I wish you well on your way to it. May the Force... be with you."
I walked with her up the hallway then stopped her and asked her if she would answer some questions for me. She stopped and nodded and I asked her "Is love possible at all among Sith?" I suspected I knew the answer but I needed to hear it confirmed.
Yuthura said "Love or lust? Lust yes, love, no I would say not. The very nature of it is against all that is Sith. Remember I said that all I have cared about is power and myself?" I nodded. Yuthura continued "Love is caring for another as much or more than you care about yourself I think; it cannot exist in one who embraces the dark side it goes directly against all that the dark side represents. The dark side would demand that you killed what was holding you back from reaching your true potential. It would demand that you kill that which you loved. Like it demanded that I kill my compassion."
That confirmed what I had suspected, how had I managed to maintain my love for Bastila as Revan? Suddenly memories returned how I had come to blame the Jedi for Bastila's rejection. How I had been determined to wipe those who opposed my will from the face of the universe. I would grip the universe in an iron fist and no one would deny me what I wanted. Not even Bastila, my plans for her were clear to me, how I had planned on bending her mind and making her my slave. I would never let her become my apprentice for that would mean that she would eventually move to kill me, no the only way Revan could see to have Bastila was to take her will to resist me away.
I was sickened by what I had planned, but then I recalled that when I had saw Bastila on the bridge I had faced the fact that I did not want to force Bastila to submit to my will, I wanted her to love me to come to me of her own will. In a very essential way I had turned my back on the dark side even then. If Malak had not intervened it would not have taken the Jedi long to realize that I had no desire to kill them, and they would have persuaded me to return.
I recalled where I was and realized that I had slumped against the wall and that Yuthura was supporting me and looking at me anxiously. She could have killed me if she had wanted to but she had not. Yuthura asked me wonderingly "Who is this woman that you cherish so much? That could make you forsake all your power just for the hope that she might love you in return?"
I straightened and said "Jedi Bastila Shan, I think I have loved her all my life. Certainly from the first moment I saw her and realized she was a child no longer." I had most of my memories now; thankfully my four years as a Sith Lord were hazy in their details. "When Malak fired on my ship I was able to protect her with my powers, but I was mortally wounded. Bastila kept me alive but my mind was badly damaged.
I forgot everything, I was a clean slate for them and they gave me a new identity believing that I would never be able to wield the Force again. I went some type of choosing process and they made up an identity for me as a newly trained officer of the Republic Fleet. I was offered the chance to train for Covert Operations and after a year I succeeded and became part of a Covert Operations Squad.
However, the Jedi were wrong in assuming I would not be able to wield the Force again. They had kept watch on me, not surprisingly, and it was not long before they noticed I was Force sensitive again." I paused and looked at her, she nodded and I continued "They had me reassigned to Bastila's command where they could better keep an eye on me." I paused and grinned thinking of how unsettling that change must have been to the Jedi.
Yuthura chuckled and said "They must have been in as near a panic as a Jedi could be, fearing that you would remember being a Dark Lord of the Sith at any moment."
I nodded and said "Then Bandon's fleet attacked us and we were forced to escape to Taris. Bastila was captured and Carth Onasi and I managed to eventually free her and escape Taris as Malak was destroying it. She talked us into going to Dantooine and there I had the first of my visions of the Star Map's. Bastila and I have a bond in the Force, we always have, and she shared my vision and reported it to the Council."
Yuthura asked "What did they do?"
I said "They argued I believe, a lot. Finally Master Vandar and Master Zhar won out over Master Vrook's objections. It must have been hard for him, now I remember that Master Vrook was my master, and seeing me must have been a shock to him. I was trained as a Jedi again, my pace of learning was amazing. I wonder now that it did not occur to me that it was too fast. I was merely relearning lessons that I already knew. But, I did not think of that.
Maybe was for the best that I only started questioning things when we had found half of the Star Maps. It was an interesting time, Bastila and I constantly battling over our feelings for one another. She was determined to resist me, but the bond made it obvious to both of us what our feelings were for each other.
As time went on and we were together longer I could tell that she was falling in love with me. Now I know how difficult it must have been for her, why she seemed so conflicted every time we came close to admitting our feelings. Why she would immediately retreat and try and pretend that she didn't love me. They had ordered her not to tell me I was Revan or reveal it to me in any way, and of course there were her own fears that love would lead us both to the dark side.
Admiral Saul intercepted our ship and captured us after we left Manaan and tortured us to try and get information about our mission but he failed. I had deactivated HK's main power supply before we were captured and after the Sith left the ship he activated himself and was able to free us. We were almost to our ship when Malak arrived as well and we met on the hangar deck.
Seeing him triggered my memory and I started to remember that I had been Revan. I was still rather confused though; all I got were bits and pieces of memory. Enough to remember that the coward had used the Jedi as a distraction and then fired on my ship. He challenged me to a confrontation, master and apprentice and I accepted.
It was probably not the wisest decision I have made. I was really not in the best shape to try and fight him at that particular time. But I was able to hold my own against him and was pressing the attack when I got another flash of memory. He managed to paralyze me while I was distracted, and he might have been able to kill me." I paused in my narrative and tried to think what to say next.
Yuthura had been silent listening to me and now she shifted and asked "Were you angry at Bastila when you found out the secret she had been keeping from you?"
I nodded and said "Some yes, but I have been obligated to keep secrets myself and I had a greater respect as Catherine for following orders than I ever had as Revan. I had known that she felt guilty about something. The returning memories made it clear what it had been, besides she had saved my life when I expected nothing but loathing from her. It was not that hard to forgive her for her silence, especially when she made it clear that she had not wanted to keep me in the dark." I sighed and continued my tale.
"Bastila caught up with us in time to see him paralyze me and she threw her lightsaber at him to distract him from attacking me. He saw the opportunity to capture her and took it. He closed a blast door and jammed it to stop me, and took her away to his ship. That was... five days ago. He's had five days no to turn her to the dark side, and as much as I would wish it not to be I know he will be able to. She has too much repressed anger and fear for her to be able to resist, and she will not be able to control it, not with the drugs and pain. I should know, after all I'm the bastard who taught him how to break Jedi." The last was said harshly.
I knew that Malak would be able to break Bastila, it would not even be that hard but it would take patience. I suspected that he would manage to take the time for the prize she would be, even though he was not patient. He had been once though I remembered, but not after the dark side had corrupted him.
I turned and told Yuthura "Thank you for listening to me, and thank you for the wisdom you shared with me. I was confused about my path when I came to Korriban. But because of Adjuna Pall and you, my path has become clear. My love for Bastila brought me out of the darkness, and it is clear to me that love can only wither and die there, lost in the destructive nature of the dark side. Love can only exist in the light where it can flourish and grow."
Yuthura looked at me confused and asked "My words helped you? How could I help you when you just turned me from the dark side?"
I looked at her and replied "You made my path clear to me, I had not faced the fact that love cannot exist in the dark side. You forced me to face that with your words, and brought back my memory of Revan being faced with the same knowledge. Now I know not to make the choice that I did before."
I could tell that Yuthura was surprised by my words and then pleased that she had helped me even as I had helped her. She asked "What happened in Ajunta Pall's tomb, you were so strange when you returned, I had sensed the conflict within you when I first saw you in the cantina. But I dismissed it as the conflict in anyone when deciding to follow the dark side. I realize now what I was seeing, the conflict between you and your past as Revan".
She stared at me and then said "You are not the same person who came to Korriban, you have changed once again. I wonder that I did not see it before this. Something happened in Ajunta Pall's tomb to bring peace between your past as Revan and who you are now."
I nodded and told her about Ajunta's words, about the regret that he had for his deeds and his self imposed suffering. How he had been unable to forgive himself and how that had prevented him from seeing that the light would not reject him. How I recognized that Ajunta and I were so alike in our problems. I had been unwilling to forgive myself for falling, unwilling to forgive any of the actions I had done.
Ajunta caused me to recognize that I needed to forgive myself. I found it so easy to extend the same forgiveness to others but I was withholding that same compassion from Revan, from myself. In seeing the path he needed to take, in feeling him return to the light I had been able to forgive myself for falling to the dark. I had finally grieved for my loss of innocence, both as Catherine finding out my true past, and as Revan for falling to the dark side.
I told her that I had recovered most of my memories back afterward, and how I had recognized that the memory I had thought was of my mother was actually one of Bastila holding me and keeping me alive after my injury.
I sighed and fell silent thinking of the journey I had taken here on Korriban. Yuthura asked me "Why have you told me all of this? Not that I am not honored with your trust but I feel there is a reason you have told me this."
I looked at her and nodded and said "I ask that you go to Coruscant, to the Jedi Temple there and let them know everything I have told you. Let them know that though Revan has returned, that I am resolved to follow the path of the light. Let them know that Bastila has been captured and I will go to rescue her."
Yuthura nodded then something dawned on her "You were the source of the disturbance in the force! You were the one who challenged Malak!"
I blushed and nodded and admitted that I hadn't really meant to be quite as loud as I had. I asked "Did everyone really feel that?"
Yuthura said "Some of the students didn't sense it but the teacher, Uthar and I felt it. It caused quite a stir in the Sith, for some unknown Force adept to challenge Malak directly that way." She paused and I could tell she was considering something "That explains why Malak did not send anyone here to stop you, though it would have been an obvious choice. He could not, not after the way he attacked Revan, for him to avoid another direct confrontation with an opponent would have weakened him in the eyes of the Sith."
Yuthura said "We will not be welcome in the Academy, but that is the way we must go for me to find transportation to Coruscant. We should head back before they send someone looking. Maybe we can bluff our way past but I doubt we can. They will be able to tell I am not Sith anymore. I can still fight if needed, but I do not dare touch the Force right now without being tempted to use my dark powers."
I nodded in understanding and we walked out of the temple and toward the Academy. The students were more interested in their digging than us and barely gave us a glance as we walked past them. At the academy entrance though three Sith apprentices waited for Master Uthar and the newest Sith apprentice; which of course was supposed to have been me. They took one look at the both of us and could tell something was not the way it was supposed to be.
I tried to talk the three of them out of attacking us but the woman in charge of them only thought of how she would become the new master of the Sith Academy if the two of us were dead. It was a brief fight as Yuthura and I were much more skilled than they.
We entered the Academy and were instantly attacked as the teachers there realized that we were enemies. Thankfully Jolee and HK had been waiting at the entrance and we fought together protecting each other sides and back. It was a long fight, and I took the fore as the strongest fighter. Thankfully my skill was up to the challenge and after a long and difficult fight we stood at the entrance to the Academy. The Academy was quiet behind us since we had ended up killing all of the teachers and guards, and most of the students. Some of them had fled and were hiding somewhere and I hoped they would reconsider their choice.
We exited the Academy and the guard at the entrance tried to kill me but I deflected his blade and killed him. We crossed to the Czerka Compound and walked through boldly, no one paid attention to us and we were able to enter the Ebon Hawk without any further incident. I introduced Yuthura to everyone and told them that I needed to find her transport to Coruscant. Carth spoke up and told me that his friend who had told him about Dustil was here and that he thought the man could be trusted to get her safely there. I agreed, and we went to find him.
Carth asked around and we located the man's ship, for a fee he agreed that he could pick up a shipment that day for Coruscant and transport a passenger there as well. I could detect no duplicity in him and I specifically asked him if he would promise me that he would deliver his passenger safely to Coruscant. He agreed and I could tell that he was no threat to Yuthura.
We saw her safely to his ship and watched it depart, I hoped she would not have any difficulties getting to Coruscant and into see the Jedi Council there.
We returned to the Ebon Hawk and I meditated on what path I should take now. The path I saw surprised me, a stop at one of Davik's hyperspace coordinates would increase our chances of success at the Star Forge. It took some argument with the others but as the coordinates were not out of the way Carth finally agreed. The coordinates were for an old Republic station above Yavin 4. We entered the station only to find five Trandoshan's threatening a Rhodian. We interrupted them and asked what they were doing here and they promptly began attacking us. The fight was short as everyone had gotten off the Ebon Hawk except for HK to explore.
The Rhodian introduced himself as Suvam Tan and said that he scavenged items from Yavin 4 from the ruins of the Exar Kun battle. He repaired them and was even able to improve on them, out of thanks for our intervention he said that he was willing to bring out what he had for sale.
His inventory amazed us, everyone was able to find something, whether it was armor or weapons. I was drawn to two unusual focus crystals he had in his inventory. They radiated with Force energy, and were of unusual structure. I asked Suvam about them and he was able to tell me of their history. One was a force crystal he had found on the ruins below, he said that it was old and was called Heart of the Guardian. I had heard of this crystal when I was studying the Jedi histories and I picked it up awed. It was supposed to have been instrumental in the founding of the Jedi Order itself. The other focus crystal had been made by Suvam from pieces he had found of several focus crystals. I bought both focus crystals and the other purchases everyone wanted as well. It was a good thing that we had as many credits as we did for we spent quite a lot of our credits there.
We went back to the ship and I began working on my lightsaber's. I put the Heart of the Guardian in my lightsaber along with the Solari crystal I had found in Shaela Nurr's remains, and the Krayt Dragon Pearl. In my short lightsaber I put the Mantle of the Force along with Jenruax and Sigil force crystals. I also made sure that Jolee and Juhani's lightsabers were upgraded.
Everyone agreed that it had been a good thing to do to stop there, almost everyone had found something for themselves in Suvam's stock and we were much more effective now than we had been before stopping there.
Yuthura arrived on Coruscant and immediately placed a call to the Jedi Temple asking whether or not any of the Masters had survived the Sith attack on Dantooine. She was informed that Masters Vandar and Zhar had survived the attack and were at the Jedi Temple. Yuthura asked that Master Vandar be notified that Yuthura Ban once a Padawan at Dantooine requested an audience with him. The young Padawan answering her call hesitated noticing the past tense and then asked her to wait while she checked to see if Master Vandar was available.
It was not long before the Padawan came back on and told her that an escort had been sent to bring her to the Jedi Temple. Yuthura thanked her and waited for her escort to arrive. Shortly several Jedi Knights arrived in a hovercraft to take her to the Temple. She could tell they were curious and probably knew that she had been a Master at the Sith Academy but they asked her no questions and only requested her lightsaber.
She had already destroyed the Sith focus crystal and with a shrug surrendered the empty hilt. The Jedi Knight she handed it to looked at it and then looked at her searchingly and gave her a small bow and thanked her. They were all intensely curious she could tell, it had to be obvious to them that she had left the Sith and no longer walked the dark path. They were all wondering what had happened to cause one who had traveled so far down the dark path to return to the light.
Yuthura was escorted to see Master Vandar and then left alone with him. She knew him from her time at the Jedi Enclave and was surprised at how happy she felt to see him alive. She bowed to him and said "I bear messages from Revan for the Jedi Council."
She could see Master Vandar's eyes open wide for a fraction of a second and then he said "So her memories have returned, and yet you are here and walk in the darkness no more. Revan is the cause of this?"
Yuthura told him of how Revan had come as Catherine to Korriban and she had accepted her for Sith training. How Catherine had used that to gain entrance to the last Star Map and of the final battle where Catherine had revealed herself as Revan and persuaded her to leave the darkside.
Master Vandar asked her if she had seen Bastila and Yuthura replied "The woman Revan loves? No I did not see her she has been captured by Malak and Revan goes to rescue her."
Master Vandar stood still and thought and then said that he must call the Council to hear this, this was grave news that Bastila had been captured.
It was a few hours before all the Masters could be gathered, but as soon as they were in place Yuthura was escorted in to the Council chamber and asked to relate all she knew. She began with her first sight of Catherine, how she had been impressed with the power evident in the woman even though the answers she gave to her questions were odd. The Masters stirred and then quieted.
Yuthura continued telling how Catherine had retrieved several artifacts from the tombs of the Sith Lords. How Catherine had persuaded her to tell her of how Yuthura had become a Sith. How she had caused her to question whether or not she was on the right path to help those enslaved.
She related how strange Catherine had been after she had returned from the tomb of Ajunta Pall. Master Vandar commented that the Master's had felt Ajunta Pall return to the light and become one with the Force. Yuthura nodded and continued her tale, telling them how Catherine had gained enough prestige to be chosen as to become a Sith. She told of how Catherine had went through the tomb quicker than any other prospective Sith, surprising her and Uthar when she showed up with her Sith lightsaber.
She finished by telling of how she and Catherine had defeated Uthar and then how she had attempted to kill Catherine only to realize that she could not defeat her and she had surrendered and asked for mercy. Then Catherine made her realize that she had betrayed herself and her ideals by becoming a Sith. She had become consumed with gaining power and had come to forget the people she has sworn she was going to help.
Then she told of how Catherine had revealed herself as Revan.
The Masters stirred and muttered to each other at this and Yuthura waited until they were silent again before she related the tale Revan had told her. How they had confronted Malak aboard the Leviathan, and Catherine had remembered she was Revan. How Malak had been able to capture Bastila and escape with her.
She related how Revan had been overcome with the last of her returning memories as they were speaking and how she had felt Revan's love for Bastila. She paused and remembered and then told how Revan had left the path of darkness before Malak had attacked her on the bridge of her ship, and that it had been her love for Bastila that had made it possible.
She told them how Revan had told her to tell them of what she had learned from Ajunta Pall and from Yuthura, and that Revan had said that she would not return to the darkside. There was nothing the darkside could give her that she desired, because love could not be found there.
Yuthura was silent and waited to see if the Masters had any questions for her. They asked her several questions about what Revan said had occurred in Ajunta Pall's tomb, and about the memories she had experienced of Revan's. Then they asked her to wait in a side chamber while they discussed what she had related to them.
The Masters discussed what Yuthura had told them, several arguing that the love between them showed how right they were to forbid Jedi to love. Several arguing how it showed the opposite, that if love could redeem Revan then maybe they had been wrong. The one thing they all came to agree on was that the bond between them had existed before Bastila had saved Revan's life. Revan had stated that she had become aware of it years before she had acted upon the attraction she had felt for Bastila.
Those who suggested that the bond be broken if possible were met with resistance, Masters Vandar and Zhar were adamant that the bond was the will of the Force, and that they would likely cripple if not kill both Bastila and Revan if they tried to sever it.
They were questioned about this and Master Vandar related how the bond was not the bond that existed between Master and apprentice. This bond was one with their life forces, he had discerned that when Bastila had first brought Revan to them. She had kept Revan alive by sharing her own life Force, something that was thought impossible. But it was not between these two because the bond was part of their life Force.
The Council was silent at this revelation; such a deep bond had never been heard of before. They questioned Master Vandar and Master Zhar more and the focus of the discussion shifted from the bond itself to what the presence of the bond meant and what was the will of the Force for Bastila and Revan.
They were interrupted by the news that Carth Onasi had sent the coordinates of the system where the Star Forge was located to the Republic Fleet and Admiral Dodonna was requesting that Jedi go with the strike force to attack.
In the morning I made my way back out to the rock I had used the day before and I began my workout. I became aware of Yuthura watching me, she seldom left the Academy I had heard but I gather the tale of yesterday's workout had reached her ears. I reminded myself of my mediation and went back to my workout. She was still there when I finished and when I sprang down from the rock and dried off I could see her staring at my tattoo. Thankfully the motto was obscured by my trunks.
She said "Greetings my friend." and chuckled softly and commented "I do rather enjoy saying that."
I smiled back at her and said "Good morning my friend, how are you today?" She commented on the beautiful work on my back and I thanked her. She mentioned that I was amazingly fit to be able to do such a long workout and I told her I did my best to go through it everyday.
She then asked me what my plans for the day were and I pointed to a tomb that had been calling to me ever since I had arrived on this planet. She looked at me and I could see worry in her eyes, she told me that no student had ever returned from exploring the tomb. It was rumored that Revan had entered and exited the tomb but she did not know the truth of that.
I asked if she had known Revan, and she said no she had never meet her though she had heard that she was very powerful woman, very charismatic. She finished "In the end, Revan was outshone by her pupil. Such is the way of the Sith. Why is this dead woman of importance to you?"
I said "So except for the fact that Revan is dead, you wouldn't recognize Revan if the two of you met."
I knew it was an odd statement but Yuthura shrugged and said "Is there any reason I should. Beside the fact that I did not know Revan in life, Revan was known for wearing a full helmet and cape. Perhaps Revan's body had been disfigured by the power of the Force... it is not unheard of. Regardless, I doubt I shall be meeting Revan anytime soon."
I nodded and agreed that was unlikely given the fact that Revan was dead.
I started off toward the tomb and Yuthura said "Why does it call to you?" I answered her "I don't know, but now I want to find out what Revan found." I had dressed during our conversation and I drank some water and swallowed a food capsule. I motioned for Jolee and HK to come out of the shade and we entered the tomb.
There were a few Tuk'ata at the beginning of the tomb but we quickly came to and area with a walkway across it. There was an obelisk of theragen blocking the way and I motioned Jolee and HK back while I placed a fragmentation grenade in the in one of the crevices. When the grenade went off the pillar exploded, then the assault droids across the way activated and started firing at us. Using the Force it was but a moments work to destroy all of them. The way was clear to the tomb of Ajunta Pall. This was the source of the sense of sadness and regret I sensed about the planet and I was drawn to it. We entered the tomb and I opened the sarcophagus revealing the withered remains of Ajunta Pall.
Suddenly his spirit arose from the dead body and said "Too long... too long in the cold and the dark. I am disturbed again? A human...A.... Jedi? Here? Why have you come to this dark place, Jedi? Why... disturb my sleepless rest?"
I looked at the spirit and asked "I was here once before, I think. Do you remember me?"
Ajunta Pall looked at and in me and said "I do... and yet I do not. The Force is so strong within you human... yet the face, the soul... it has been so very long..."
His pain and remorse drew me, it so matched the pain and remorse in my own heart. I said "Are you... Ajunta Pall?"
The spirit said "I... had a name, once. Ajunta Pall. Yes, that was my name. I was one of many. We were servants of the dark side... Sith Lords we called ourselves, so proud. In the end we were not so proud. We hid... hid from those we had betrayed. We fell and I knew it would be so..."
I asked him "What do you mean by those we had betrayed?" The spirit answered "Our Jedi Masters. Those who had taught us to use the Force... who warned us against the dark side. Yet we embraced it in secret, reveled in its power. We were discovered... or did we act? I can no longer remember. But here is where we came... to hide, to grow. And here we fell.
I asked him "How did you fall? What happened?"
The Spirit looked at me and said "We hid from the Jedi, but it was not they who destroyed us... Is it not obvious what we did? We destroyed each other. We desired the secrets of each other, in increase our power... we battled until finally our fortress rained down on top of us. And so here our old secret is buried and none of us hold it anymore... is that not right? Our power fled. Oh, what became of us? Do... do the Sith still thrive? Did they ever return?"
I answered "They returned, and endanger us all... and the light side must battle them." The Spirit said "So much... so much time has passed. And yet we have learned nothing... nothing..." I asked him "Why do you remain here?"
He replied "Remain? Do I remain? I have regretted for so long all that I have done. My sword I filled it with my pride. And it is buried with me now. A corpse as I am a corpse. I am dead, as my faith... is dead. I shall remain here... surrounded by blackness in death as in life."
I looked at him and said "So alike, both of us, regretting the past and the things that cannot be undone. I feel sorry for you."
The Spirit looked at me and said "Most of my brethren would desire only to take what power I have left. Even if it would destroy them. I wish my sword to be taken away from here. I do not wish it to rot away as I have. I command this of you."
I asked "What do you want me to do with it?" The Spirit said "If you are wise, you will not keep it. In the end it is what destroyed me. There are three blades within my sarcophagus. Only one is truly my sword, but it has been so long I do not remember which. Find the sword that is mine and place it on the statue. If it is truly mine then it is yours."
I asked "And if the sword isn't yours?"
"Then you must die. This is how it must be." said the Spirit of Ajunta Pall.
I said "How will I know which sword it is?"
Ajunta Pall replied "I do remember one thing of my sword. Listen to me carefully. I am that which grips the heart in fright, hearkens night and silences the light. It was written of my sword long... long ago. Go then... find my sword and place it on the statue."
I walked over to the sarcophagus and picked up the three swords and went over to the statue and placed one of the swords within its grasp. I knew which sword it was his I could feel his pride within it.
I returned to the Spirit and he said "Yes that is the one. That is the blade that destroyed me. Take it and the other blades, even take them and go. My darkness awaits me..."
I looked at him and reached out impulsively to him and said "There's no need to remain here, is there?"
He looked at my hand and at me and said "No need? What choice have I?"
I said in a harsh voice "The same one I have, You can return to the light side and end your torment."
I felt the touch of the Spirit on my extended hand and he said "Return? But I betrayed my old masters. They would never let me return to the light side it is too late... too late."
I felt his lack of hope his lack of forgiveness for himself and they were so familiar. We both were our own obstacles to returning to the light. I realized however I knew that he could return to the light, the answer was there in front of me. I could see the connection from the Ajunta Pall to where he needed to be to return to the light. I saw the path and I said "I don't believe the light side would turn you away. You have suffered long enough."
I could sense the Spirit searching me and feeling my belief in what I said and Ajunta Pall said "If... if I could return. Oh my Master... it has been... so long... and I regret so much..." I could feel him returning to the light and it was an indescribable experience.
He faded and I kneeled and covered my face and wept. I cried this time not for Bastila but for myself. Jolee came over and sat beside me while I mourned all that I had thrown away, all that I had lost, all that I had destroyed. I mourned the loss of Jedi Revan and the things I had done as Lord Revan. I cried myself out and lay on the floor of the tomb silent. Memories flashed in front of my eyes. I saw a vision of myself following a much younger Bastila on Dantooine, hiding from her but watching over her. I saw the karth hounds; I saw the battle, the kiss. The fear in her eyes and the rejection the words that had broken my heart. How young I had been to not see how much I had frightened her, how foolishly I had responded dealing pain for pain. The flight to war trying to escape the pain of seeing her everyday.
Another memory followed this time a light in the darkness a feeling of being loved and cared for that I had believed to be my mother. Now I was able to place it in its proper place in time and realized that the woman holding me could not be my mother. The only one it could be was Bastila. The light in the darkness grew in my vision until it was all that I could see it encompassed me, within the brightness love shone purely. Bastila loved me; the truth of it had always been there for me to see. That love had been my strength when I thought I could not go on. My warmth in the cold, dark and rain. My comfort when I was in pain.
I slowly sat up and stared into the light that filled the chamber and realized that Bastila had already forgiven me for everything I had done in my past. I just needed to forgive myself just a little, just enough to let myself hope. I had shown Ajunta Pall the path to the light; I had to believe there was one there for me as well if I was willing to travel it. But Bastila... Bastila... I had the deep feeling that I would see the mark of the dark side on Bastila when I saw her next. I would have to hope that I could see the way for her.
I stood up and felt Jolee staring at me searchingly seeing that I had passed a certain turning point. I took out my flask and washed my face and shook the dust out of my robe. And looked at the both of them. I had no idea how much time had passed but it was time to return. I felt curiously empty and at ease with myself. Still though my task was not over and I took care to shield my thoughts and emotions as we walked back up toward the Valley of the Dark Lords. I felt him before I saw him Shaardan. I knew what he wanted. I gave him plenty of time to think about his choices but in the end I was not surprised when he attacked me. He looked surprised when he died and I sighed and walked past his body and out of the tomb.
The Sith student whom I has spoken to earlier saw me and what was in my hand and exclaimed that I had the sword. I could see Yuthura emerge from the shadows a look of relief on her face. I suspected she might be more than just relieved to see that I had the sword and was still alive to assist her in her plan.
She walked up as the student, Galon Lor, asked me how I had acquired it. I said "I got it from Ajunta himself, if you must know."
They both stared at me and Galon said "Are you joking with me? The Sith Lord still lives?"
I said "No, not exactly" I could see they both realized what I was saying and Galon went on about how interesting it was and how he must be off to tell his mentor.
Yuthura looked at me searchingly and then at the tomb and I said "Look for him there no longer, he remains no more in darkness." She stared at me probably wondering what I could mean but I said no more about him instead I said "Let us walk out of this shadow into the light and enjoy the warmth of the sun." I was still speaking in metaphor and I was getting looks from both Jolee and Yuthura. But they followed me out into the sunlight and I lifted my face to the sun and enjoyed its warmth. I listened to the sound of the wind and I no longer heard a lamenting cry upon it, instead it sang to me. I heard them shift and I asked "Do you hear the song of the wind?" I looked at them and Jolee was just stared at me and listened, Yuthura looked baffled.
I shrugged and said that it was probably time to take Uthar Ajunta's sword. We walked back to the Academy and Yuthura hung back while I gave Uthar the sword of Ajunta Pall.
Uthar said "Well done! You have impressed me greatly! You have impressed me enough, by my estimation, to become a Sith in full. Congratulations, young one... you have bested the others quite completely. You have but one final test which you must take, and this requires us to travel to the tomb of Naga Sadow in the Valley of the Dark Lords. I would advise you to be rested and equipped before we leave. Return to your quarters now and seek me in the morning. When you return, make sure that you have all that you will need... for you will face your test alone. Go, and may the Force serve you well."
In the morning I went as instructed to meet with Uthar, I was more than ready to get this over with. Uthar and Yuthura accompanied me; the two verbally sparred and talked about schemes failing. I ignored them and waited for my instructions, I was to follow in my own footsteps and find the Star Map and a lightsaber then return with them. When Uthar asked if I understood I repeated my instructions and then turned to begin my journey into the tomb. An acid pool blocked my direct path to the Star Map and I knew I could jump over it but this was not what I was supposed to do I knew.
I backtracked and took one of the side corridors, I could feel the presence of two terentatek's and I walked cautiously into the room at then end of the corridor and stayed well back from them. I was powerful but two of the beasts would surely kill me. I thought I saw a way to fight them separately and I thought of the rakghoul baiting I had done on Taris. It worked, I was able to creep just close enough to one of them to lure it away from the other and fight it well back from the other beast. Even then it was a difficult fight and I paused to heal before attacking the second beast. The second beast came deadly close to killing me it was old and strong and cunning and only a lucky duck by me kept my head on my shoulders. I took the time to heal my self fully and explored the room they had been lairing in.
I found the skeleton of the last of the three Jedi that had been sent to Korriban in the Great Hunt. I read her journal and wept inside for her, Duran's death and her own despair had pushed her into attacking the two beasts together. Apparently one of the beasts I had killed probably the older one had ambushed them in the Shyrak caves and had killed Duran. Whether she went seeking revenge or her own death I could not tell but I suspected it was both. I could understand her choice, if Bastila were to die would I feel like going on? Or would I too seek out my own death? I did not know the answer.
In the room beyond there were two pillars one contained an ice grenade, one a fire grenade, I left the fire grenade and picked up the ice grenade and proceeded back to the acid pool. There I used the grenade to freeze the pool and proceeded over it to the Star Map. This map was not incomplete and with the data from all four maps the route to an unknown planet was shown and the Star Forge orbited around it. I grabbed the lightsaber and headed back the way I had come. Uthar and Yuthura were waiting standing on the frozen pool of acid for me.
Uthar said "So you return to us with the lightsaber in hand, as I knew you would. You took a great risk in acquiring the artifact. You used your mind and your power... no peaceful meditation, no pacifism. Sometimes you must fight in order to achieve. This gives you your passion, this makes you stronger. This is what makes you superior. That is the lesson we teach with that part of the final test. Do you understand?
I said "The Sith are not the only ones who fight and take risks."
Uthar replied "True, but most would say they fight only when they must... or not at all. We are the ones who know that struggle is what makes us superior.
I asked "Are you saying a Jedi couldn't have gotten the lightsaber?"
Uthar said "When a Jedi acts, it is with skill, true. But the Jedi teach you that your passions are counter-productive. That strength is only found in peace. Did you not feel a moment of excitement in the tomb? Did your passions not flow and make you feel stronger and more alive? What purpose would be served by restricting yourself from such? I would say only the purpose of the Jedi. Through this they would control you and restrict your potential.
I stated "I don't believe you. I don't feel superior to anyone."
Uthar said "If you came to the academy, you must have felt the stirrings within you that cry out for the freedom of the dark side that cry out for release. I can only show you the path that will lead to power and superiority. You have followed it this far... you must decide if you are capable of continuing."
I asked "And if I'm not?"
Uthar said sternly "This is where you path ends, young one. There is no turning back once you have embarked on it."
I nodded and said "I think I understand."
Uthar started speaking of competition and how all life must compete in order to survive, how it was the natural order of things. One comment caught my attention "So it behooves you in this final test to strike down one you are familiar with, for no other reason than to prove you are superior and without mercy."
I blinked at the statement, realizing that Malak would send Bastila against me to kill me. I had known this somewhere inside myself, but now I knew that this was part of the final testing of any Sith.
I pulled my attention back to Uthar and Yuthura for Uthar was telling me I would be fighting Yuthura instead of another student.
I said to Uthar "Sorry, Uthar... I'm with Yuthura on this one."
Uthar said "So the time has come has it? You both wish to stand against a Sith Master and perish, do you?" I waited for him to attack and sprang to Yuthura's defense, his words were empty threat though, for he was not nearly as good as the thought he was, it was not long before he lay dead at my feet. I waited for Yuthura to make her decision.
Yuthura said "Uthar is finished, and a new order is brought to the academy. Excellent. While I do like you... truly... I'm afraid I'm not the type to share power with anyone. Even you."
I had been expecting this and I asked her "Are you sure there's no way other than this?"
She paused then said "I... I'm sure. I told you there was no such thing as friends among the Sith, didn't I. Let's... get this over with." With that she attacked me but I could tell her heart wasn't in it. I did my best to be careful and I was beginning to be afraid that she was going to force me to kill her when she cried "Unggh! Stop! I yield!" I pulled away from her and watched her with anxious eyes.
She slumped over holding a deep wound on her side and said "You are... too strong for me. I was a fool to think otherwise. I am... at your mercy."
I smiled at her and said "You ask for mercy? You a Sith?"
She looked at me and smiled then grimaced in pain and said "I... suppose I am. Something tells me that you are... not like the other students. I don't know why that is. I... was right the first time, back at the cantina, wasn't I? There is something different about you... more so than I expected."
I paused silent and did not answer at first but walked over and laid a hand against her wound and healed her. She straightened and looked up at me for I was slightly taller than she. I nodded and said "Indeed, I am Revan." Yuthura looked at me searchingly and I dropped the tight control on my thoughts.
Yuthura said "I see. I should have known... right from the beginning. But you are no longer the Dark Lord you once were are you? You are Revan... but yet you are not. What I sense of your destiny is... is still unclear. So what happens now? Will you show me mercy? Will you... just let me leave?"
I looked at her and said "You could come with me."
She looked at me startled and the shook her head and said "That's... tempting, but I don't think I could. Your path... it goes somewhere I can't follow." I nodded accepting her answer but glad I had made the offer
I said "Maybe you need to think about your own path."
Yuthura said "I... suppose you could be right. All the things I wanted to do, all the wrongs I wanted to right... I haven't done any of it. They just get farther and farther from my mind. All I've cared about is power and... and myself. This isn't the person I was."
I smiled at her and said "There's still time to change that."
She nodded and said "You're right. Maybe... maybe what I needed most was peace, after all. The Jedi tried to show me that. I don't know if I can ever go back to them... but my place isn't here. Thank you... thank you for showing me that. You have a destiny, my friend, and I wish you well on your way to it. May the Force... be with you."
I walked with her up the hallway then stopped her and asked her if she would answer some questions for me. She stopped and nodded and I asked her "Is love possible at all among Sith?" I suspected I knew the answer but I needed to hear it confirmed.
Yuthura said "Love or lust? Lust yes, love, no I would say not. The very nature of it is against all that is Sith. Remember I said that all I have cared about is power and myself?" I nodded. Yuthura continued "Love is caring for another as much or more than you care about yourself I think; it cannot exist in one who embraces the dark side it goes directly against all that the dark side represents. The dark side would demand that you killed what was holding you back from reaching your true potential. It would demand that you kill that which you loved. Like it demanded that I kill my compassion."
That confirmed what I had suspected, how had I managed to maintain my love for Bastila as Revan? Suddenly memories returned how I had come to blame the Jedi for Bastila's rejection. How I had been determined to wipe those who opposed my will from the face of the universe. I would grip the universe in an iron fist and no one would deny me what I wanted. Not even Bastila, my plans for her were clear to me, how I had planned on bending her mind and making her my slave. I would never let her become my apprentice for that would mean that she would eventually move to kill me, no the only way Revan could see to have Bastila was to take her will to resist me away.
I was sickened by what I had planned, but then I recalled that when I had saw Bastila on the bridge I had faced the fact that I did not want to force Bastila to submit to my will, I wanted her to love me to come to me of her own will. In a very essential way I had turned my back on the dark side even then. If Malak had not intervened it would not have taken the Jedi long to realize that I had no desire to kill them, and they would have persuaded me to return.
I recalled where I was and realized that I had slumped against the wall and that Yuthura was supporting me and looking at me anxiously. She could have killed me if she had wanted to but she had not. Yuthura asked me wonderingly "Who is this woman that you cherish so much? That could make you forsake all your power just for the hope that she might love you in return?"
I straightened and said "Jedi Bastila Shan, I think I have loved her all my life. Certainly from the first moment I saw her and realized she was a child no longer." I had most of my memories now; thankfully my four years as a Sith Lord were hazy in their details. "When Malak fired on my ship I was able to protect her with my powers, but I was mortally wounded. Bastila kept me alive but my mind was badly damaged.
I forgot everything, I was a clean slate for them and they gave me a new identity believing that I would never be able to wield the Force again. I went some type of choosing process and they made up an identity for me as a newly trained officer of the Republic Fleet. I was offered the chance to train for Covert Operations and after a year I succeeded and became part of a Covert Operations Squad.
However, the Jedi were wrong in assuming I would not be able to wield the Force again. They had kept watch on me, not surprisingly, and it was not long before they noticed I was Force sensitive again." I paused and looked at her, she nodded and I continued "They had me reassigned to Bastila's command where they could better keep an eye on me." I paused and grinned thinking of how unsettling that change must have been to the Jedi.
Yuthura chuckled and said "They must have been in as near a panic as a Jedi could be, fearing that you would remember being a Dark Lord of the Sith at any moment."
I nodded and said "Then Bandon's fleet attacked us and we were forced to escape to Taris. Bastila was captured and Carth Onasi and I managed to eventually free her and escape Taris as Malak was destroying it. She talked us into going to Dantooine and there I had the first of my visions of the Star Map's. Bastila and I have a bond in the Force, we always have, and she shared my vision and reported it to the Council."
Yuthura asked "What did they do?"
I said "They argued I believe, a lot. Finally Master Vandar and Master Zhar won out over Master Vrook's objections. It must have been hard for him, now I remember that Master Vrook was my master, and seeing me must have been a shock to him. I was trained as a Jedi again, my pace of learning was amazing. I wonder now that it did not occur to me that it was too fast. I was merely relearning lessons that I already knew. But, I did not think of that.
Maybe was for the best that I only started questioning things when we had found half of the Star Maps. It was an interesting time, Bastila and I constantly battling over our feelings for one another. She was determined to resist me, but the bond made it obvious to both of us what our feelings were for each other.
As time went on and we were together longer I could tell that she was falling in love with me. Now I know how difficult it must have been for her, why she seemed so conflicted every time we came close to admitting our feelings. Why she would immediately retreat and try and pretend that she didn't love me. They had ordered her not to tell me I was Revan or reveal it to me in any way, and of course there were her own fears that love would lead us both to the dark side.
Admiral Saul intercepted our ship and captured us after we left Manaan and tortured us to try and get information about our mission but he failed. I had deactivated HK's main power supply before we were captured and after the Sith left the ship he activated himself and was able to free us. We were almost to our ship when Malak arrived as well and we met on the hangar deck.
Seeing him triggered my memory and I started to remember that I had been Revan. I was still rather confused though; all I got were bits and pieces of memory. Enough to remember that the coward had used the Jedi as a distraction and then fired on my ship. He challenged me to a confrontation, master and apprentice and I accepted.
It was probably not the wisest decision I have made. I was really not in the best shape to try and fight him at that particular time. But I was able to hold my own against him and was pressing the attack when I got another flash of memory. He managed to paralyze me while I was distracted, and he might have been able to kill me." I paused in my narrative and tried to think what to say next.
Yuthura had been silent listening to me and now she shifted and asked "Were you angry at Bastila when you found out the secret she had been keeping from you?"
I nodded and said "Some yes, but I have been obligated to keep secrets myself and I had a greater respect as Catherine for following orders than I ever had as Revan. I had known that she felt guilty about something. The returning memories made it clear what it had been, besides she had saved my life when I expected nothing but loathing from her. It was not that hard to forgive her for her silence, especially when she made it clear that she had not wanted to keep me in the dark." I sighed and continued my tale.
"Bastila caught up with us in time to see him paralyze me and she threw her lightsaber at him to distract him from attacking me. He saw the opportunity to capture her and took it. He closed a blast door and jammed it to stop me, and took her away to his ship. That was... five days ago. He's had five days no to turn her to the dark side, and as much as I would wish it not to be I know he will be able to. She has too much repressed anger and fear for her to be able to resist, and she will not be able to control it, not with the drugs and pain. I should know, after all I'm the bastard who taught him how to break Jedi." The last was said harshly.
I knew that Malak would be able to break Bastila, it would not even be that hard but it would take patience. I suspected that he would manage to take the time for the prize she would be, even though he was not patient. He had been once though I remembered, but not after the dark side had corrupted him.
I turned and told Yuthura "Thank you for listening to me, and thank you for the wisdom you shared with me. I was confused about my path when I came to Korriban. But because of Adjuna Pall and you, my path has become clear. My love for Bastila brought me out of the darkness, and it is clear to me that love can only wither and die there, lost in the destructive nature of the dark side. Love can only exist in the light where it can flourish and grow."
Yuthura looked at me confused and asked "My words helped you? How could I help you when you just turned me from the dark side?"
I looked at her and replied "You made my path clear to me, I had not faced the fact that love cannot exist in the dark side. You forced me to face that with your words, and brought back my memory of Revan being faced with the same knowledge. Now I know not to make the choice that I did before."
I could tell that Yuthura was surprised by my words and then pleased that she had helped me even as I had helped her. She asked "What happened in Ajunta Pall's tomb, you were so strange when you returned, I had sensed the conflict within you when I first saw you in the cantina. But I dismissed it as the conflict in anyone when deciding to follow the dark side. I realize now what I was seeing, the conflict between you and your past as Revan".
She stared at me and then said "You are not the same person who came to Korriban, you have changed once again. I wonder that I did not see it before this. Something happened in Ajunta Pall's tomb to bring peace between your past as Revan and who you are now."
I nodded and told her about Ajunta's words, about the regret that he had for his deeds and his self imposed suffering. How he had been unable to forgive himself and how that had prevented him from seeing that the light would not reject him. How I recognized that Ajunta and I were so alike in our problems. I had been unwilling to forgive myself for falling, unwilling to forgive any of the actions I had done.
Ajunta caused me to recognize that I needed to forgive myself. I found it so easy to extend the same forgiveness to others but I was withholding that same compassion from Revan, from myself. In seeing the path he needed to take, in feeling him return to the light I had been able to forgive myself for falling to the dark. I had finally grieved for my loss of innocence, both as Catherine finding out my true past, and as Revan for falling to the dark side.
I told her that I had recovered most of my memories back afterward, and how I had recognized that the memory I had thought was of my mother was actually one of Bastila holding me and keeping me alive after my injury.
I sighed and fell silent thinking of the journey I had taken here on Korriban. Yuthura asked me "Why have you told me all of this? Not that I am not honored with your trust but I feel there is a reason you have told me this."
I looked at her and nodded and said "I ask that you go to Coruscant, to the Jedi Temple there and let them know everything I have told you. Let them know that though Revan has returned, that I am resolved to follow the path of the light. Let them know that Bastila has been captured and I will go to rescue her."
Yuthura nodded then something dawned on her "You were the source of the disturbance in the force! You were the one who challenged Malak!"
I blushed and nodded and admitted that I hadn't really meant to be quite as loud as I had. I asked "Did everyone really feel that?"
Yuthura said "Some of the students didn't sense it but the teacher, Uthar and I felt it. It caused quite a stir in the Sith, for some unknown Force adept to challenge Malak directly that way." She paused and I could tell she was considering something "That explains why Malak did not send anyone here to stop you, though it would have been an obvious choice. He could not, not after the way he attacked Revan, for him to avoid another direct confrontation with an opponent would have weakened him in the eyes of the Sith."
Yuthura said "We will not be welcome in the Academy, but that is the way we must go for me to find transportation to Coruscant. We should head back before they send someone looking. Maybe we can bluff our way past but I doubt we can. They will be able to tell I am not Sith anymore. I can still fight if needed, but I do not dare touch the Force right now without being tempted to use my dark powers."
I nodded in understanding and we walked out of the temple and toward the Academy. The students were more interested in their digging than us and barely gave us a glance as we walked past them. At the academy entrance though three Sith apprentices waited for Master Uthar and the newest Sith apprentice; which of course was supposed to have been me. They took one look at the both of us and could tell something was not the way it was supposed to be.
I tried to talk the three of them out of attacking us but the woman in charge of them only thought of how she would become the new master of the Sith Academy if the two of us were dead. It was a brief fight as Yuthura and I were much more skilled than they.
We entered the Academy and were instantly attacked as the teachers there realized that we were enemies. Thankfully Jolee and HK had been waiting at the entrance and we fought together protecting each other sides and back. It was a long fight, and I took the fore as the strongest fighter. Thankfully my skill was up to the challenge and after a long and difficult fight we stood at the entrance to the Academy. The Academy was quiet behind us since we had ended up killing all of the teachers and guards, and most of the students. Some of them had fled and were hiding somewhere and I hoped they would reconsider their choice.
We exited the Academy and the guard at the entrance tried to kill me but I deflected his blade and killed him. We crossed to the Czerka Compound and walked through boldly, no one paid attention to us and we were able to enter the Ebon Hawk without any further incident. I introduced Yuthura to everyone and told them that I needed to find her transport to Coruscant. Carth spoke up and told me that his friend who had told him about Dustil was here and that he thought the man could be trusted to get her safely there. I agreed, and we went to find him.
Carth asked around and we located the man's ship, for a fee he agreed that he could pick up a shipment that day for Coruscant and transport a passenger there as well. I could detect no duplicity in him and I specifically asked him if he would promise me that he would deliver his passenger safely to Coruscant. He agreed and I could tell that he was no threat to Yuthura.
We saw her safely to his ship and watched it depart, I hoped she would not have any difficulties getting to Coruscant and into see the Jedi Council there.
We returned to the Ebon Hawk and I meditated on what path I should take now. The path I saw surprised me, a stop at one of Davik's hyperspace coordinates would increase our chances of success at the Star Forge. It took some argument with the others but as the coordinates were not out of the way Carth finally agreed. The coordinates were for an old Republic station above Yavin 4. We entered the station only to find five Trandoshan's threatening a Rhodian. We interrupted them and asked what they were doing here and they promptly began attacking us. The fight was short as everyone had gotten off the Ebon Hawk except for HK to explore.
The Rhodian introduced himself as Suvam Tan and said that he scavenged items from Yavin 4 from the ruins of the Exar Kun battle. He repaired them and was even able to improve on them, out of thanks for our intervention he said that he was willing to bring out what he had for sale.
His inventory amazed us, everyone was able to find something, whether it was armor or weapons. I was drawn to two unusual focus crystals he had in his inventory. They radiated with Force energy, and were of unusual structure. I asked Suvam about them and he was able to tell me of their history. One was a force crystal he had found on the ruins below, he said that it was old and was called Heart of the Guardian. I had heard of this crystal when I was studying the Jedi histories and I picked it up awed. It was supposed to have been instrumental in the founding of the Jedi Order itself. The other focus crystal had been made by Suvam from pieces he had found of several focus crystals. I bought both focus crystals and the other purchases everyone wanted as well. It was a good thing that we had as many credits as we did for we spent quite a lot of our credits there.
We went back to the ship and I began working on my lightsaber's. I put the Heart of the Guardian in my lightsaber along with the Solari crystal I had found in Shaela Nurr's remains, and the Krayt Dragon Pearl. In my short lightsaber I put the Mantle of the Force along with Jenruax and Sigil force crystals. I also made sure that Jolee and Juhani's lightsabers were upgraded.
Everyone agreed that it had been a good thing to do to stop there, almost everyone had found something for themselves in Suvam's stock and we were much more effective now than we had been before stopping there.
Yuthura arrived on Coruscant and immediately placed a call to the Jedi Temple asking whether or not any of the Masters had survived the Sith attack on Dantooine. She was informed that Masters Vandar and Zhar had survived the attack and were at the Jedi Temple. Yuthura asked that Master Vandar be notified that Yuthura Ban once a Padawan at Dantooine requested an audience with him. The young Padawan answering her call hesitated noticing the past tense and then asked her to wait while she checked to see if Master Vandar was available.
It was not long before the Padawan came back on and told her that an escort had been sent to bring her to the Jedi Temple. Yuthura thanked her and waited for her escort to arrive. Shortly several Jedi Knights arrived in a hovercraft to take her to the Temple. She could tell they were curious and probably knew that she had been a Master at the Sith Academy but they asked her no questions and only requested her lightsaber.
She had already destroyed the Sith focus crystal and with a shrug surrendered the empty hilt. The Jedi Knight she handed it to looked at it and then looked at her searchingly and gave her a small bow and thanked her. They were all intensely curious she could tell, it had to be obvious to them that she had left the Sith and no longer walked the dark path. They were all wondering what had happened to cause one who had traveled so far down the dark path to return to the light.
Yuthura was escorted to see Master Vandar and then left alone with him. She knew him from her time at the Jedi Enclave and was surprised at how happy she felt to see him alive. She bowed to him and said "I bear messages from Revan for the Jedi Council."
She could see Master Vandar's eyes open wide for a fraction of a second and then he said "So her memories have returned, and yet you are here and walk in the darkness no more. Revan is the cause of this?"
Yuthura told him of how Revan had come as Catherine to Korriban and she had accepted her for Sith training. How Catherine had used that to gain entrance to the last Star Map and of the final battle where Catherine had revealed herself as Revan and persuaded her to leave the darkside.
Master Vandar asked her if she had seen Bastila and Yuthura replied "The woman Revan loves? No I did not see her she has been captured by Malak and Revan goes to rescue her."
Master Vandar stood still and thought and then said that he must call the Council to hear this, this was grave news that Bastila had been captured.
It was a few hours before all the Masters could be gathered, but as soon as they were in place Yuthura was escorted in to the Council chamber and asked to relate all she knew. She began with her first sight of Catherine, how she had been impressed with the power evident in the woman even though the answers she gave to her questions were odd. The Masters stirred and then quieted.
Yuthura continued telling how Catherine had retrieved several artifacts from the tombs of the Sith Lords. How Catherine had persuaded her to tell her of how Yuthura had become a Sith. How she had caused her to question whether or not she was on the right path to help those enslaved.
She related how strange Catherine had been after she had returned from the tomb of Ajunta Pall. Master Vandar commented that the Master's had felt Ajunta Pall return to the light and become one with the Force. Yuthura nodded and continued her tale, telling them how Catherine had gained enough prestige to be chosen as to become a Sith. She told of how Catherine had went through the tomb quicker than any other prospective Sith, surprising her and Uthar when she showed up with her Sith lightsaber.
She finished by telling of how she and Catherine had defeated Uthar and then how she had attempted to kill Catherine only to realize that she could not defeat her and she had surrendered and asked for mercy. Then Catherine made her realize that she had betrayed herself and her ideals by becoming a Sith. She had become consumed with gaining power and had come to forget the people she has sworn she was going to help.
Then she told of how Catherine had revealed herself as Revan.
The Masters stirred and muttered to each other at this and Yuthura waited until they were silent again before she related the tale Revan had told her. How they had confronted Malak aboard the Leviathan, and Catherine had remembered she was Revan. How Malak had been able to capture Bastila and escape with her.
She related how Revan had been overcome with the last of her returning memories as they were speaking and how she had felt Revan's love for Bastila. She paused and remembered and then told how Revan had left the path of darkness before Malak had attacked her on the bridge of her ship, and that it had been her love for Bastila that had made it possible.
She told them how Revan had told her to tell them of what she had learned from Ajunta Pall and from Yuthura, and that Revan had said that she would not return to the darkside. There was nothing the darkside could give her that she desired, because love could not be found there.
Yuthura was silent and waited to see if the Masters had any questions for her. They asked her several questions about what Revan said had occurred in Ajunta Pall's tomb, and about the memories she had experienced of Revan's. Then they asked her to wait in a side chamber while they discussed what she had related to them.
The Masters discussed what Yuthura had told them, several arguing that the love between them showed how right they were to forbid Jedi to love. Several arguing how it showed the opposite, that if love could redeem Revan then maybe they had been wrong. The one thing they all came to agree on was that the bond between them had existed before Bastila had saved Revan's life. Revan had stated that she had become aware of it years before she had acted upon the attraction she had felt for Bastila.
Those who suggested that the bond be broken if possible were met with resistance, Masters Vandar and Zhar were adamant that the bond was the will of the Force, and that they would likely cripple if not kill both Bastila and Revan if they tried to sever it.
They were questioned about this and Master Vandar related how the bond was not the bond that existed between Master and apprentice. This bond was one with their life forces, he had discerned that when Bastila had first brought Revan to them. She had kept Revan alive by sharing her own life Force, something that was thought impossible. But it was not between these two because the bond was part of their life Force.
The Council was silent at this revelation; such a deep bond had never been heard of before. They questioned Master Vandar and Master Zhar more and the focus of the discussion shifted from the bond itself to what the presence of the bond meant and what was the will of the Force for Bastila and Revan.
They were interrupted by the news that Carth Onasi had sent the coordinates of the system where the Star Forge was located to the Republic Fleet and Admiral Dodonna was requesting that Jedi go with the strike force to attack.