Disclaimer: Guess who owns all the contents of this story? That's right, CD and Eidos.
Legacy of Kain: Not as Defiant as I Hoped...
The Assault (good name, no?)
________________________________________
As the title implies, our heroic and somewhat lecherous heros have decided to make an assault on CATF, tired of the continued raids on Vorador's beloved mansion. Who doesn't like it? Well, anyone playing Defiance for the first time through. Regardless, they intend to make an attempt at taking the high class Hotel named home to the Coalition Against This Fic. Sarafan patrolled the grounds ceaselessly, and Dumahim just wandered around in general, glancing behind themselves every once in a while. Man that was annoying.
A swarm of bats flocked around the roof of the edifice, and became one ugly as this author's ass Vampire with long white hair and a legendary blade. Yup, it's Kain. A dark crimson mist condensed from the shadows to take on the form of his old man, the mighty Necromancer Mortanius. Man that guy's cool. 'Check and mate.' Love that line. They kept to the shadows and made their way to skylight, peering into the buildings well furnished interior. My english is getting better and better. It was a sight worse than disco hell, it was the era of '96.
Both ancient men stared down wide eyed as several Sarafan bobbed their heads and danced to... Ace of Bass!!!
"So, there is no god." The Pillar of Death commented. They had two options, continue with the plan and scope out the defences of their fated enemies, or kill the satanic music being emmited and blow the whole operation. A no brainer..
Several anti-vampire men and vampires froze with surprise when glass rained around them, followed by old allies and enemies. Kain released the power of electricity and laughed darkly as the boom box performed one final boom (making the Sarafan holding look like his face was a forest fire that someone tried to put out with a screw driver (hey, it's Melchiah!) and failed) and scythed through the well armoured men. From their destroyed forms Morty raised new minions, and set them on their former brethren. Then noticed that the chilli Malek made earlier that night wasn't sitting right and ran off to the washroom. Kain pulled up a seat and grabbed a crab cake, taking a bite out of it. The night was going well.
"Missed that sign, didn't you?"
*TOP FLOOR*
The most evil of all cowards to have ever existed, or lose their testicles repeatedly was wailing like a little girl. The CATF had dumped % for being an annoying little sissy who was in the one dramatic moment in this fic. Heretic they clamed. Well, I did anyways. He knew that his enemies were coming, and did the only thing he could think off. He put a rubber band around the doorknob. At least he would be safe... or so the prick thought. The door was thrown off it's hinges.
Kain stepped through the threshold, calm as always.
"You idiot! Their's a rubber band around that knob! That means it's 'occupied'!" he shouted.
A chuckle was his first response. "What's this, had the surgery proper to make use of Moebius' little snip-snip? Hmm, I don't seem to see an actual man around."
%, being a little sissy, broke down again. "I have to pay for that you know! It's bad enough they left me."
Kain quirked an eye ridge. Like he has a brow, his face is as bald as Vorador's. "They got tired of you too? Talk, where are they... and why was the lobby crawling with their men?"
"My answer is not for you."
The Reaver was centimetres from his nose in an instant. "Let me get this straight. You have an answer for that, but you won't tell me?"
"I never read the note."
Said note was on the bed, cried on and used as a tissue. He was tempted with what was within, or, on the other hand, EW! In the end, he did the only rational thing. He grabbed the symbol named flamer and forced his face into it, suffocating him. "Read it goddammit, just bleeding read it!"
"Alright! Damn, trying to kill me." He, or rather it, massaged it's neck, and opened the envelope.
"Screw you, you pussy. Me and the guys decided we'd rather make an attack on the author boys in our Stronghold then live with you. We've left you a crapload of soft rock loving fruits to give you the idea of being important, I hope you break down and have Kain wail on you while you cry like the little girl you are. If you find my ring, mail it to me. Love, the Vampire Dumah. PS, you suck the organs you lack."
The title character was doubled over laughing, especially since he second guessed his reaction perfectly. What a way to get told, in front of his hated author's attempt at Kain. Even Ariel was laughing her non existent ass of, her voice on the wind.
"Ouch." And the bawling continued.
At that precise moment, good old Mortanius staggered into the room, clutching his stomach in agony. Kain was at his side in an instant. "Bastards got you?"
"No, Malek's rectum flaming chilli."
"Ah. Good thing I passed up on that."
"Raziel didn't."
"Raz actual managed to eat it? Man, I'm more impressed than I was when I saw the difference between BO2 and Defiance Vorador."
"What are you guys talking about?"
The two glanced at the little outcast who dared interrupt them. He smiled and shifted nervously. Then a blast of TK sent him through the window. Kain strode over the shattered property the screaming to be carcass was cast through. "I'll send the bill to the inheritor of your estate."
***VORADOR's PIMP SHACK(the mansion)***
The Champion of the Vampire race, proud and regal since Blood Omen, but before and after the sequel, was musing over the catatonic 'Messiah' sprawled across his table, who had the brilliant idea of shoving a strainer down his throat and pouring a bowl of rather spicy chilli down his soul conduit hole. In the end, Raziel had poisoned his body and turned his symbiotic plant Herbert a sickening shade of putrid brown. He still twitched every once in a while.
A loud shriek, feminine, snapped him to action, his hand at the hilt of his bone sword and his... him in front of the door that led to the adjacent hallway. Like a bat out of hell, the Paladin Malek zipped through the room, stark nude. Vorador stood perfectly still for an instant, then buried his forehead in his palm and sighed. Malek streaking again. He clearly forgot one thing.
The mightiest of humans hopped back into the room, struggling t get a pair of jeans on in a very out of character way. I won't go into detail. "I might have forgotten that I have my body again."
"No doubt."
And in the most random of possible times, Raziel sat up, Herbert straightening as well. "What the hell was that?" He noticed Malek zipping his pants up, and Vorador facing the other way. "I'm so glad I missed what I'm sure just happened."
The only human in the house frowned. "Are you insane? Intoxicated? You'd think, for an instant... I'd go down on that sac of green crap?!?"
The oldest living member of that race in the era frowned as well. "One hell of an out of character moment. You just went streaking through my brides quarters you damn fool!"
Raziel was highly insulted. "I'm not high! Last time I was there was a slight accident with the abyss. Contrary to popular belief, marijuana doesn't let you shrug off having your three best friends burnt off."
The youngest (or second oldest, if you take out Raz's dead millenium) was a) pissed, and b) doubtful. "I wasn't streaking! I was... inspecting their safety. And you- are you sure that isn't an illegal drug of some kind?"
All three of them stopped dead and looked to Razzy's head. Well, Razzy tried, being the natural moron he is. "I can't see it."
Malek spoke up once again. "Well, as a Temuera Morrison look alike once again, I throw in my opinion. Let's smack him upside his head."
White/yellow eyes flared. "I think not. I may be an idiot at time, but... what's with the laughing?"
The two others were giggling under the impressions of having asthma attacks. Well, in that situation you can either fake and attack of some type, or insult the far more important character.
"Anyway, it is NOT weed."
While they let that conversation absorb into their brains, a loud crack and a cry of pain came from the direction of the roof. The ones that could displace themselves through space in an instant (teleport) did so. The ones... er, one who could not, was rather ticked.
Raziel bolted for the staircase. "God Dammit!"
He threw open a door, and leapt onto a wall, kicking off it and landing the floor above. He dove through a window, shattering the brittle glass and reaching the darkness of the Black Forest's mid of the night. One inhumanly skilful backflip brought him to the roof. Impressed with his entrance (aren't all of us? I am) he turned to face the other four main members of the LoK Dream Team... who teleported to the warm interior of the Mansion. He collapsed to his knees and slammed his knuckle off the roof.
"Why must you torture me God... WHY!?"
The ever ethereal voice of the Elder responded. "Because I hate you."
"Shut up."
***
The cold silence did not last long as... cries of victory erupted from CATF, Sarafan and King Kong. The Dumahim kind of wandered around again.
DeJoule was particularly pleased with the work done. "At last... Mike and Ryan are dead! Now they can never torture me in Chibi Kain!"
More whoops of joy came from that remark.
The Vampire Lord Dumah stormed in, angry as could be. "Can't find that damn ring!"
The Sarafan Dumah spoke in turn. "Who the hell cares? We whacked the authors!!"
The vampire was sceptical.
"You murdered authors? They should never inserted themselves on level with us." He Stepped over to their severed heads. "WHAT THE -censored for a sustained period of time- ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?"
They all stared on. Except Janos.
"I KNEW they looked different."
The Lieutenant continued with his tirade. "Morons! Those aren't the authors!"
Azimuth looked down at them again. "Must be. Fat with a beard... thinner than his friend with messy hair. Who else could it be?"
They all stared down once more... on the corpses of Jay and Silent Bob.
***
Back with the beloved characters and their comic ramblings.
All five sit around a table. Totally silent. Guessed I messed the introduction up, eh? The three nod. Raziel has a pot put around Herbert, and is adding fertilizing sticks. Best to keep healthy, I suppose. Vorador picks an object up from under the table and places it before him. A CD player. He puts in Metallica's Garage CD and skips ahead a few songs. The dramatic and beautiful 'Turn the Page' plays. He cranks it.
The clock on the far wall strikes one AM. In the position a bird should be occupying an abomination comes out. A miniature Vorador, drunk and violent is beside a small plastic woman, bent over. His arm falls to her buttocks and slaps it. She scrams. It repeats, then retracts. The group hands in their drawings to Vorador and glare at him. He shifts through them, noting the cartoon like pictures one or two through in. He speaks up.
"Our options are to storm the Sarafan... storm the Sarafan with a nice drawing... molest my brides or storm the Sarafan with a fully coloured map and strategic week points of the general area." He tears the map in half and throws it in a well placed garbage can.
Raziel slams his head off the table. "Damn!"
The green vampire makes his choice. "We storm the Sarafan."
Malek slams his head off the table. "Damn!"
Mortanius raises his hand. Vorador points to him. "Why aren't we using the map?"
"Malek, field that one."
"Bite me."
"Kain."
The latter crossed his broad arms. "Fate favours the bold... and we won't have to study anything."
The group nods enthusiastically at that last comment.
"Any general targets?"
The group threw in several names. 'The blue bastard, Azimuth, winged prick, DeJoule, Audron, the Sarafan inquisitors, dammit vampire pay attention to me, King Kong, I hate you so badly, to name only a few.
"Then the plan is already in motion. Muahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
Malek and Raziel shared worried glances.
***
A scantily clad woman with odd markings on her face knocks on the massive wooden doors, the words 'Piss off, we like our religion' scrawled on them. She had canoed over the lake to reach it. Voices came from within.
"Azimuth."
"It appears to b a half nude young woman."
"Door, open. Now."
The massive wooden doors opened on themselves. A bald woman an a large, armored vampire with dread locks awaited nearby. If you couldn't guess, it be Azimuth and Dumah. King Kong sticks his head around the corner and throws a peeled banana at her.
Dumah spoke up. "Pleasant to meet you miss. Looks like the number of gorgeous women in the house went up. Are you ever stacked." The last comment simply popped out of his mouth while she stretched to crack her back.
"Thank you... mostly."
"A 'Screw you' would be the remainder of your feelings?"
"Precisely. My name is Umah, and I am here to help you."
"Help me how... heheheh. Turel would kill me if he saw this."
***
A flock of bats carrying a very peeved Raziel flocked around the roof of the Stronghold. Eventually they gave up and dropped him.
"Bastard..!"
-CRACK-
They then came to a halt above a protruding tower and formed Kain. Raziel, having landed a few feet away, got up and cracked his back. It was closer to snapping his back.
"Kain? Little help?"
His father took a step forward and snapped his back back into it's original position.
"Thanks." Raziel, dignity returned, turned to face Malek and Vorador. Mortanius had come into existence next to Kain. They exchanged nods. They turned to the people next to them and nod. Then to the people next to the people across from them. Satisfied, they jump from shadow to shadow until they reach what appears to be a Christmas tree making out with two well armoured men.
The armoured Turel pulled back to get a breath of fresh air. "This is the happiest moment of my life."
Kain, who had come up behind him, felt somewhat sardonic. "I know the feeling, yet you arne't quite that big on my hit list." The Reaver came into play, which was promptly blocked. The Sarafan Zephon joined in.
DeJoule saw Malek, Mortanius Vorador and Kain. Raz she did not recognize. "You four already had your chances! I'm so over yous all."
The four of them turned to each other shocked, then gave a simultaneous high twenty. Plenty of 'You the man!' followed.
Zephon and Turel got slightly... en freaking furiated at that comment. They moved to attack. Like a shadow chasing light, a wide bladed halberd struck out. The two managed to jump back in time. Or so it appeared. Their now useless armour fell to the ground in two large portions.
"Damn..!"
"The boss is with them?"
Malek, said boss, stepped forward. "At least you've been keeping busy. Picked the losing side, granted, but busy nonetheless. Alright, let's see what the two of you managed to pick up. Take care of the lady, I'm dealing with these proteges of mine."
Dejoule blew a kiss and flew hovered off. Every man except Raziel pretended to grab it from midair. They all glared at each other. After a quick session of nodding, Mortanius and Vorador went after her, the other two dropping into the dark interior of the CATF's newly acquired base.
Zephon strafed along to the left, Turel to the right. Their weapons before them att al times. Malek had not moved during the dispute, and allowed them to flank him. They both struck, wide left to right arcs, high and low. Time slowed and a well built man in purple chain mail and a breast plate performed a beautiful back flip. They struck again. He planted his polearm into the ground and deflected both blades. He them used it for leverage to kick off the ground and plant both feet in Turel's chest.
He took full advantage of Turel's incapacitated state and charged Zephon. He rained blow after blow until a feint, then reversed the direction of the strike and sent the blade into midair. Zephon was cut down. Malek stepped aside, throwing a cold glance a Turel, marking him as next. The smaller man got to his feet and walked forward in a slow yet steady pace, completely confident in himself. Energy crackled to life around Malek's fingers. He formed it into a ball and lobbed it at Turel, dashing with it.
Turel brought up his pike to defend. The magic dispersed against the varnished wood of his weapon, and he was unable to defend himself against his former General. The long, thick blade passed through his arm and a half foot of his torso. He fell back with the blood flow, coughing up more. He then died.
"You keep getting better at these."
You too my friend, enjoy your stay.
"Stay?"
***
Vorador crashed into the wall rather hard, his best robe singed and darkened. And she made a comment about his chin-spikes. There was blood to be spilt. Mortanuis ended up next to him, in no better shape. He glanced up at the ancient Vampire.
"Suggestions, anyone?"
"Get her attention." With that he darted off around her, streams of electricity.
She, being DeJoule, had gotten nude for the occasion. A glowing and incredibly beautiful sight, just lightens your day. Right before she shocks the crap out of you.
Morty had only one idea. He stepped forward and whistled to get her attention. She glanced over. "Hey, I gave myself a nice shave recently." With that having been said, he pulled up his robe and dropped his pants. She faltered. Unfortunately, so did Vorador.
"Damn, eyes!"
"Nice." She commented.
Vorador got up and attached a rubber band around her neck. It cut off the electrical circuit to her brain, and she dropped like a rock.
"Brilliant plan."
"Shut up and pull pull your pants up.
***
Deep withing the heart of the Stronghold, Kain and Raziel dod away with the last of the wandering Dumahim. They approached the next door. Kain grabbed the know. The wall collapsed inward, raining down debris. Kain, sighing, dropped the entire door. The two of them looked up... King Kong and Janos Audron (riding his shoulder).
They looked down at them, grinning maliciously, preparing for a fight.
TO BE CONTINUED
AHAHAHAHA!!! Cliff hanger. Great news, eh? Glad to see me alive? I am.
R/R if you would be so kind. Oh, if you remember how many enemies are left, mix and match for a fight between the teams. I'd like to see (and steal) your picks.
Legacy of Kain: Not as Defiant as I Hoped...
The Assault (good name, no?)
________________________________________
As the title implies, our heroic and somewhat lecherous heros have decided to make an assault on CATF, tired of the continued raids on Vorador's beloved mansion. Who doesn't like it? Well, anyone playing Defiance for the first time through. Regardless, they intend to make an attempt at taking the high class Hotel named home to the Coalition Against This Fic. Sarafan patrolled the grounds ceaselessly, and Dumahim just wandered around in general, glancing behind themselves every once in a while. Man that was annoying.
A swarm of bats flocked around the roof of the edifice, and became one ugly as this author's ass Vampire with long white hair and a legendary blade. Yup, it's Kain. A dark crimson mist condensed from the shadows to take on the form of his old man, the mighty Necromancer Mortanius. Man that guy's cool. 'Check and mate.' Love that line. They kept to the shadows and made their way to skylight, peering into the buildings well furnished interior. My english is getting better and better. It was a sight worse than disco hell, it was the era of '96.
Both ancient men stared down wide eyed as several Sarafan bobbed their heads and danced to... Ace of Bass!!!
"So, there is no god." The Pillar of Death commented. They had two options, continue with the plan and scope out the defences of their fated enemies, or kill the satanic music being emmited and blow the whole operation. A no brainer..
Several anti-vampire men and vampires froze with surprise when glass rained around them, followed by old allies and enemies. Kain released the power of electricity and laughed darkly as the boom box performed one final boom (making the Sarafan holding look like his face was a forest fire that someone tried to put out with a screw driver (hey, it's Melchiah!) and failed) and scythed through the well armoured men. From their destroyed forms Morty raised new minions, and set them on their former brethren. Then noticed that the chilli Malek made earlier that night wasn't sitting right and ran off to the washroom. Kain pulled up a seat and grabbed a crab cake, taking a bite out of it. The night was going well.
"Missed that sign, didn't you?"
*TOP FLOOR*
The most evil of all cowards to have ever existed, or lose their testicles repeatedly was wailing like a little girl. The CATF had dumped % for being an annoying little sissy who was in the one dramatic moment in this fic. Heretic they clamed. Well, I did anyways. He knew that his enemies were coming, and did the only thing he could think off. He put a rubber band around the doorknob. At least he would be safe... or so the prick thought. The door was thrown off it's hinges.
Kain stepped through the threshold, calm as always.
"You idiot! Their's a rubber band around that knob! That means it's 'occupied'!" he shouted.
A chuckle was his first response. "What's this, had the surgery proper to make use of Moebius' little snip-snip? Hmm, I don't seem to see an actual man around."
%, being a little sissy, broke down again. "I have to pay for that you know! It's bad enough they left me."
Kain quirked an eye ridge. Like he has a brow, his face is as bald as Vorador's. "They got tired of you too? Talk, where are they... and why was the lobby crawling with their men?"
"My answer is not for you."
The Reaver was centimetres from his nose in an instant. "Let me get this straight. You have an answer for that, but you won't tell me?"
"I never read the note."
Said note was on the bed, cried on and used as a tissue. He was tempted with what was within, or, on the other hand, EW! In the end, he did the only rational thing. He grabbed the symbol named flamer and forced his face into it, suffocating him. "Read it goddammit, just bleeding read it!"
"Alright! Damn, trying to kill me." He, or rather it, massaged it's neck, and opened the envelope.
"Screw you, you pussy. Me and the guys decided we'd rather make an attack on the author boys in our Stronghold then live with you. We've left you a crapload of soft rock loving fruits to give you the idea of being important, I hope you break down and have Kain wail on you while you cry like the little girl you are. If you find my ring, mail it to me. Love, the Vampire Dumah. PS, you suck the organs you lack."
The title character was doubled over laughing, especially since he second guessed his reaction perfectly. What a way to get told, in front of his hated author's attempt at Kain. Even Ariel was laughing her non existent ass of, her voice on the wind.
"Ouch." And the bawling continued.
At that precise moment, good old Mortanius staggered into the room, clutching his stomach in agony. Kain was at his side in an instant. "Bastards got you?"
"No, Malek's rectum flaming chilli."
"Ah. Good thing I passed up on that."
"Raziel didn't."
"Raz actual managed to eat it? Man, I'm more impressed than I was when I saw the difference between BO2 and Defiance Vorador."
"What are you guys talking about?"
The two glanced at the little outcast who dared interrupt them. He smiled and shifted nervously. Then a blast of TK sent him through the window. Kain strode over the shattered property the screaming to be carcass was cast through. "I'll send the bill to the inheritor of your estate."
***VORADOR's PIMP SHACK(the mansion)***
The Champion of the Vampire race, proud and regal since Blood Omen, but before and after the sequel, was musing over the catatonic 'Messiah' sprawled across his table, who had the brilliant idea of shoving a strainer down his throat and pouring a bowl of rather spicy chilli down his soul conduit hole. In the end, Raziel had poisoned his body and turned his symbiotic plant Herbert a sickening shade of putrid brown. He still twitched every once in a while.
A loud shriek, feminine, snapped him to action, his hand at the hilt of his bone sword and his... him in front of the door that led to the adjacent hallway. Like a bat out of hell, the Paladin Malek zipped through the room, stark nude. Vorador stood perfectly still for an instant, then buried his forehead in his palm and sighed. Malek streaking again. He clearly forgot one thing.
The mightiest of humans hopped back into the room, struggling t get a pair of jeans on in a very out of character way. I won't go into detail. "I might have forgotten that I have my body again."
"No doubt."
And in the most random of possible times, Raziel sat up, Herbert straightening as well. "What the hell was that?" He noticed Malek zipping his pants up, and Vorador facing the other way. "I'm so glad I missed what I'm sure just happened."
The only human in the house frowned. "Are you insane? Intoxicated? You'd think, for an instant... I'd go down on that sac of green crap?!?"
The oldest living member of that race in the era frowned as well. "One hell of an out of character moment. You just went streaking through my brides quarters you damn fool!"
Raziel was highly insulted. "I'm not high! Last time I was there was a slight accident with the abyss. Contrary to popular belief, marijuana doesn't let you shrug off having your three best friends burnt off."
The youngest (or second oldest, if you take out Raz's dead millenium) was a) pissed, and b) doubtful. "I wasn't streaking! I was... inspecting their safety. And you- are you sure that isn't an illegal drug of some kind?"
All three of them stopped dead and looked to Razzy's head. Well, Razzy tried, being the natural moron he is. "I can't see it."
Malek spoke up once again. "Well, as a Temuera Morrison look alike once again, I throw in my opinion. Let's smack him upside his head."
White/yellow eyes flared. "I think not. I may be an idiot at time, but... what's with the laughing?"
The two others were giggling under the impressions of having asthma attacks. Well, in that situation you can either fake and attack of some type, or insult the far more important character.
"Anyway, it is NOT weed."
While they let that conversation absorb into their brains, a loud crack and a cry of pain came from the direction of the roof. The ones that could displace themselves through space in an instant (teleport) did so. The ones... er, one who could not, was rather ticked.
Raziel bolted for the staircase. "God Dammit!"
He threw open a door, and leapt onto a wall, kicking off it and landing the floor above. He dove through a window, shattering the brittle glass and reaching the darkness of the Black Forest's mid of the night. One inhumanly skilful backflip brought him to the roof. Impressed with his entrance (aren't all of us? I am) he turned to face the other four main members of the LoK Dream Team... who teleported to the warm interior of the Mansion. He collapsed to his knees and slammed his knuckle off the roof.
"Why must you torture me God... WHY!?"
The ever ethereal voice of the Elder responded. "Because I hate you."
"Shut up."
***
The cold silence did not last long as... cries of victory erupted from CATF, Sarafan and King Kong. The Dumahim kind of wandered around again.
DeJoule was particularly pleased with the work done. "At last... Mike and Ryan are dead! Now they can never torture me in Chibi Kain!"
More whoops of joy came from that remark.
The Vampire Lord Dumah stormed in, angry as could be. "Can't find that damn ring!"
The Sarafan Dumah spoke in turn. "Who the hell cares? We whacked the authors!!"
The vampire was sceptical.
"You murdered authors? They should never inserted themselves on level with us." He Stepped over to their severed heads. "WHAT THE -censored for a sustained period of time- ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?"
They all stared on. Except Janos.
"I KNEW they looked different."
The Lieutenant continued with his tirade. "Morons! Those aren't the authors!"
Azimuth looked down at them again. "Must be. Fat with a beard... thinner than his friend with messy hair. Who else could it be?"
They all stared down once more... on the corpses of Jay and Silent Bob.
***
Back with the beloved characters and their comic ramblings.
All five sit around a table. Totally silent. Guessed I messed the introduction up, eh? The three nod. Raziel has a pot put around Herbert, and is adding fertilizing sticks. Best to keep healthy, I suppose. Vorador picks an object up from under the table and places it before him. A CD player. He puts in Metallica's Garage CD and skips ahead a few songs. The dramatic and beautiful 'Turn the Page' plays. He cranks it.
The clock on the far wall strikes one AM. In the position a bird should be occupying an abomination comes out. A miniature Vorador, drunk and violent is beside a small plastic woman, bent over. His arm falls to her buttocks and slaps it. She scrams. It repeats, then retracts. The group hands in their drawings to Vorador and glare at him. He shifts through them, noting the cartoon like pictures one or two through in. He speaks up.
"Our options are to storm the Sarafan... storm the Sarafan with a nice drawing... molest my brides or storm the Sarafan with a fully coloured map and strategic week points of the general area." He tears the map in half and throws it in a well placed garbage can.
Raziel slams his head off the table. "Damn!"
The green vampire makes his choice. "We storm the Sarafan."
Malek slams his head off the table. "Damn!"
Mortanius raises his hand. Vorador points to him. "Why aren't we using the map?"
"Malek, field that one."
"Bite me."
"Kain."
The latter crossed his broad arms. "Fate favours the bold... and we won't have to study anything."
The group nods enthusiastically at that last comment.
"Any general targets?"
The group threw in several names. 'The blue bastard, Azimuth, winged prick, DeJoule, Audron, the Sarafan inquisitors, dammit vampire pay attention to me, King Kong, I hate you so badly, to name only a few.
"Then the plan is already in motion. Muahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
Malek and Raziel shared worried glances.
***
A scantily clad woman with odd markings on her face knocks on the massive wooden doors, the words 'Piss off, we like our religion' scrawled on them. She had canoed over the lake to reach it. Voices came from within.
"Azimuth."
"It appears to b a half nude young woman."
"Door, open. Now."
The massive wooden doors opened on themselves. A bald woman an a large, armored vampire with dread locks awaited nearby. If you couldn't guess, it be Azimuth and Dumah. King Kong sticks his head around the corner and throws a peeled banana at her.
Dumah spoke up. "Pleasant to meet you miss. Looks like the number of gorgeous women in the house went up. Are you ever stacked." The last comment simply popped out of his mouth while she stretched to crack her back.
"Thank you... mostly."
"A 'Screw you' would be the remainder of your feelings?"
"Precisely. My name is Umah, and I am here to help you."
"Help me how... heheheh. Turel would kill me if he saw this."
***
A flock of bats carrying a very peeved Raziel flocked around the roof of the Stronghold. Eventually they gave up and dropped him.
"Bastard..!"
-CRACK-
They then came to a halt above a protruding tower and formed Kain. Raziel, having landed a few feet away, got up and cracked his back. It was closer to snapping his back.
"Kain? Little help?"
His father took a step forward and snapped his back back into it's original position.
"Thanks." Raziel, dignity returned, turned to face Malek and Vorador. Mortanius had come into existence next to Kain. They exchanged nods. They turned to the people next to them and nod. Then to the people next to the people across from them. Satisfied, they jump from shadow to shadow until they reach what appears to be a Christmas tree making out with two well armoured men.
The armoured Turel pulled back to get a breath of fresh air. "This is the happiest moment of my life."
Kain, who had come up behind him, felt somewhat sardonic. "I know the feeling, yet you arne't quite that big on my hit list." The Reaver came into play, which was promptly blocked. The Sarafan Zephon joined in.
DeJoule saw Malek, Mortanius Vorador and Kain. Raz she did not recognize. "You four already had your chances! I'm so over yous all."
The four of them turned to each other shocked, then gave a simultaneous high twenty. Plenty of 'You the man!' followed.
Zephon and Turel got slightly... en freaking furiated at that comment. They moved to attack. Like a shadow chasing light, a wide bladed halberd struck out. The two managed to jump back in time. Or so it appeared. Their now useless armour fell to the ground in two large portions.
"Damn..!"
"The boss is with them?"
Malek, said boss, stepped forward. "At least you've been keeping busy. Picked the losing side, granted, but busy nonetheless. Alright, let's see what the two of you managed to pick up. Take care of the lady, I'm dealing with these proteges of mine."
Dejoule blew a kiss and flew hovered off. Every man except Raziel pretended to grab it from midair. They all glared at each other. After a quick session of nodding, Mortanius and Vorador went after her, the other two dropping into the dark interior of the CATF's newly acquired base.
Zephon strafed along to the left, Turel to the right. Their weapons before them att al times. Malek had not moved during the dispute, and allowed them to flank him. They both struck, wide left to right arcs, high and low. Time slowed and a well built man in purple chain mail and a breast plate performed a beautiful back flip. They struck again. He planted his polearm into the ground and deflected both blades. He them used it for leverage to kick off the ground and plant both feet in Turel's chest.
He took full advantage of Turel's incapacitated state and charged Zephon. He rained blow after blow until a feint, then reversed the direction of the strike and sent the blade into midair. Zephon was cut down. Malek stepped aside, throwing a cold glance a Turel, marking him as next. The smaller man got to his feet and walked forward in a slow yet steady pace, completely confident in himself. Energy crackled to life around Malek's fingers. He formed it into a ball and lobbed it at Turel, dashing with it.
Turel brought up his pike to defend. The magic dispersed against the varnished wood of his weapon, and he was unable to defend himself against his former General. The long, thick blade passed through his arm and a half foot of his torso. He fell back with the blood flow, coughing up more. He then died.
"You keep getting better at these."
You too my friend, enjoy your stay.
"Stay?"
***
Vorador crashed into the wall rather hard, his best robe singed and darkened. And she made a comment about his chin-spikes. There was blood to be spilt. Mortanuis ended up next to him, in no better shape. He glanced up at the ancient Vampire.
"Suggestions, anyone?"
"Get her attention." With that he darted off around her, streams of electricity.
She, being DeJoule, had gotten nude for the occasion. A glowing and incredibly beautiful sight, just lightens your day. Right before she shocks the crap out of you.
Morty had only one idea. He stepped forward and whistled to get her attention. She glanced over. "Hey, I gave myself a nice shave recently." With that having been said, he pulled up his robe and dropped his pants. She faltered. Unfortunately, so did Vorador.
"Damn, eyes!"
"Nice." She commented.
Vorador got up and attached a rubber band around her neck. It cut off the electrical circuit to her brain, and she dropped like a rock.
"Brilliant plan."
"Shut up and pull pull your pants up.
***
Deep withing the heart of the Stronghold, Kain and Raziel dod away with the last of the wandering Dumahim. They approached the next door. Kain grabbed the know. The wall collapsed inward, raining down debris. Kain, sighing, dropped the entire door. The two of them looked up... King Kong and Janos Audron (riding his shoulder).
They looked down at them, grinning maliciously, preparing for a fight.
TO BE CONTINUED
AHAHAHAHA!!! Cliff hanger. Great news, eh? Glad to see me alive? I am.
R/R if you would be so kind. Oh, if you remember how many enemies are left, mix and match for a fight between the teams. I'd like to see (and steal) your picks.