Chapter 2- Lacrimat (weeps)
I can here something. A loud banging noise reverberates round my cell. Thud.Thud.Crash.Thud.Thud.Crash. Only then do I realise it's my head banging against the wall. The padding is shredded and I can see pale raw stone flicked with crimson. Dry blood speckling the wall like a Dalmatian of death. My nostrils flare, as I smell the rotting substance, some of its fresh. Some of those spots are mine, which is strange though, because I can't feel a cut in my head. My hand glided down my greasy black hair and caressed my scalp. There was no blood on my hand...only dirt. How long had I been in this cell?
Total isolation was not something I was entirely familiar with until now. All of my life I had luckily felt only one type of solitude. But in some ways it's worse. To be alone when surrounded by people is like drowning in air. However the loneliness can be intensified more, if you know them but you remain unknown. I've felt it, but no one comforted me. Not once person extended a smile or even a swift acknowledgement. A fit of abuse would have been better than silence. I was just a nameless figure in a crowd of familiar faces.
There was not a sight or sound of communication here-other humans were devoid and maybe non existent. I am sure that if I had the gift of magic my senses detect another. How pitifully quiet things were...not even the sound of bone on brick anymore. But I can here something- a trickle, followed by an intense throbbing. My head seems to be on large angry wasp buzzing harder and harder- trying to get somewhere desperately. I'm trying to get somewhere-something-anything other than being a squib in a muggle world!
They shoved me in here-in isolation like a spider trapped in a jar...the shiny sides can not be clambered upon- it just slips further and further into a sense of defeat and doom. How could those muggle fools think that this would benefit my health? Then the reality was dumped on my shoulders once more- they were containing the disease. I don't blame the muggle's, I'd escape if I could but my body is my own tomb.
I can't help thinking about my future if one simple fact was altered. I knew what I'd be doing... I'd be sitting by a lake, accompanied by a wizard friend. Perhaps a strapping young male? No, not perhaps- definitely. I was considered quite beautiful until my disease had taken hold. At the tender age of eleven the owl didn't come. As September approached it wasn't only me that had realised my illness. My family are purebloods. To put it more elaborately they had no business associating with squibs, family or not.
A tear fled down my pale cheek, a hope of a cheery future or even present had morphed into a shattered memory once again. The disease was worsening, I knew it then for my own tears were deserting me now...
As I continued to wallow in self hate the door bolts slid open threateningly fast. At last there was a sign of people. The volcano of life was just dormant, but not extinct like I'd expected. Three men marched in and slung me to the other side. They whispered something, nodded briskly and took held of my arms. I didn't get up then, one snorted like a horse and decided to drag me across the floor. I stayed firmly where I was. I was not going to be dragged anywhere. They finally resigned their tug of war and relaxed their firm grip. The horsy man grunted once more, "Come with me. Someone is here to testify your sanity." I smiled for the first time at something other than a fanciful day dream. I only barely heard the other man to the left of me snickering. "Good luck to them."
I ignored their taunts for some time, staying rooted to my cell floor. Maybe it was the Minister of Magic himself- offering an apology for the oversight of my magic. I squealed then right in front of the staff. I screeched like a freshly weaned piglet crying desperately for its last drop of milk. Only I cry for a wand.
The beastly man raised an eyebrow and grunted questioningly. "I suppose I am to follow," I sighed triumphantly. I didn't know it then but my former haughtier self was emerging...maybe the pureblood witch would emerge to fulfil my family's dreams. All muggle's would fear their mistake. And so would the Minister... in time...
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