I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. I just started finals so I'm a little side tracked but here's the next chapter. Finals are over Wednesday so I'll be updating more after then.

I'm also sorry for the people who hate Madison, but I promise she's not going to cause anymore problems between Brooke and Lucas. Please don't criticize Peyton or Madison too much because some of their conversations are actual conversations I've had with one of my new friend. I'm basing Peyton off of myself and Madison off of my friend. Sorry if you don't like them but this is who I am, or was. Madison is toned down a lot so no more crazy outbursts like in the previous chapters and no more conniving; just heart to hearts with Peyton and maybe some other characters.

Please as always read and reviews. I hope you enjoy!

"What are you doing here Peyton?" Madison was surprised to see the tiny blonde girl in her living room.

"I wanted to talk." Peyton sounded so distant and detached.

Madison didn't know what do to do; should she spill her guts to a total stranger or should she just blow her off.

"Isn't that what your friends are for?" Madison asked rhetorically.

"I don't have any friends." Peyton said flatly.

"Could've fooled me." Madison couldn't believe the words coming out of Peyton's mouth, "What about Jake, or Brooke or Haley, hell even Lucas?"

"They're not my friends." Peyton had never told anyone about her problems, "They don't know anything about me."

"So why are you here?" Madison didn't understand, "Why me?"

"Because you'll understand." Peyton said softly. She didn't want to talk anymore; she could without letting tears escape, but Peyton never cries.

"How do you know?" Madison didn't even know this girl yet she trusted her enough to talk to her and not her friends.

"Because I know what's it like to hate yourself so much that sometimes you just want to die." Peyton admitted truthfully.

"You think you've got me all figured out don't you. You think that because I hate myself so much that I was going to kill myself!" Madison was getting fired up, "You don't know anything about me!"

"I know that you weren't going to kill yourself." Peyton need Madison to listen. Peyton had been numb for so long that feeling again was killing her.

"We knew that," Madison smiled, "but they didn't."

"Why do you do that?" Peyton wanted to know more about this girl. Maybe listening would help her out too.

"Why not do it?" Madison shrugged her shoulders.

"Don't you care that you're hurting your family and friends?" Peyton wanted to understand Madison so bad. Even if neither of them wanted to admit it they had a lot in common.

"What family? What friends?" Madison didn't even care anymore.

"I know what it's like to have no one understand you. Everyone expects you to be happy and just get over what ever you're depressed about, but they don't know what it's like." Peyton let it all out in a rush of words about how her life really was.

"They always think they do, though." Madison was shocked at how well they knew each other without even having a real conversation before, "Maybe we have more in common than we thought."

"Yeah, we do," Peyton smiled, feeling happy for the first time in a long time, "I felt it when you snapped back there."

"Oh great my insanity and my great acting skills have brought two troubled teens together." Madison said sarcastically, "So what's your story?"

"Well when I was twelve my mom died and I just haven't been the same since." Peyton felt tears forming behind her eyes but she didn't cry

"I've never lost anyone before." Madison didn't know what else to say, "How'd she die?"

"She ran one red light. That's all it took." Silent tears slid down her cheeks, "I run them all the time and I'm still here."

"That's because you're supposed to be." Madison didn't know how she became so insightful but she did and it seemed to be helping Peyton.

"There are so many people who are supposed to be here and they die anyway." Peyton let more and more tears escape from their eyes, "My mom was supposed to be here for me and she's not? How is that fair?"

"Do you know why I hate myself so much?" Madison eyes began to tear up too, "There are so many people who have so much to live for; who don't want to die, yet they do. I am so selfish that I want to take the life I have when there are people out there that don't have a choice. They have to die whether they like it or not."

"Don't hate yourself for wanting to die." It was Peyton's turn to help, "You haven't killed yourself so you're not selfish."

"But I still feel selfish. I wish that I could switch places with someone, like die for them so that they could live their life to their full potential." Madison was now crying too, "I have nothing to live for anymore."

"It's may seem like that now but there are people who care about you." Peyton tried to comfort the tiny girl who was crying harder.

"Oh yeah," Madison couldn't believe her, "Like who?'

"For starters, me," Peyton thought for a second, "and Brooke and Lucas and everyone else."

"Madison," Her mother appeared in the doorway, "It's time for your friend to go home."

Peyton left feeling better about herself. If she could talk to one person why wouldn't she be able to talk to other people? She promised herself she would talk to Brooke in the morning to let her in on her life and how messed up she really was. She wanted to change and she knew letting people in and trusting them would be the only way.

Jake sat in his car outside Peyton's house. He had been waiting for an hour and still no Peyton. He was finally going to tell her how he felt. He didn't want to hide his feelings anymore. Finally he watched her car pull into the driveway before stepping out of his car.

"Jake," Peyton was caught off guard. She probably looked horrible, "What are you doing here?"

"Are you okay, Peyt?" Jake asked seeing her mascara stained cheeks.

"Yeah," Peyton didn't even convince herself.

"What's wrong Peyton?" Jake moved closer towards her.

"I," Peyton wanted to tell him and let him in but she froze up at the last minute.

"What Peyton?" Jake was next to her now beckoning for her to wrap herself in his arms, "You know you can tell me anything."

"Nothing's wrong." Peyton tried wiping the tear stains off her cheeks.

"Why do you feel you have to lie to me?" Jake sounded hurt. He really wanted to know what was going on.

"Why do you feel like you need to know everything?" Peyton snapped but she didn't understand why.

"Peyton, I just want to know what's going on." Jake said defensively. It was obvious that something was really bothering her and her attitude was scaring him. He had never seen her like this.

"All of a sudden you're concerned about me!" Peyton didn't understand, "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I've always been concerned for you Peyton. There was never a change of heart." Jake didn't know what to say. Her mannerisms reminded him of Madison's little episode early that evening and he hoped that they didn't turn out the same way.

"Keep telling yourself that Jake." Peyton said truthfully. She was done with being fake or pretending to be happy, "None of you ever gave a damn about me."

"Peyton what are you talking about?" Jake was now getting angry. How could she even think he didn't care for her?

"You don't know one thing about me or my life so don't try to say you know me." Peyton didn't know why she was letting all her anger out on Jake. She didn't hate Jake at all, quite the contrary, she loved him, but these where things he need to hear and she needed to get them off her chest.

"That's because you don't let me in," Jake was so hurt, why was she saying this stuff, "Every time I try to get close to you, you push me farther away!"

"It's better to have no one than to watch the people you love to suffer." Peyton felt something she had never felt before. She felt love and concern; Jake loved her and was concerned.

"That's no way to live Peyt." Jake was shocked at what she was saying, "The saying is 'It's better to love and have lost than to never have loved at all'."

"It's worked for he all these years," Peyton knew exactly what he was trying to tell her, "Why change now?"

"Because there are people who care for you and want to get close to you," Jake smiled slightly trying to make Peyton smile. Jake loved Peyton's smile and on those rare occasion when he is blessed with it's presence he never wanted to let it go.

"Who might these people be?" Peyton finally knew the answer to her question. They were her friends and they did care for her. She had just been so numb for so long she didn't care.

"Me Peyton," Jake lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes, "I care for you and I want to get close to you."

"Why Jake?" Peyton cared for Jake too and she wanted to get closer to him too.

"Because you're so amazing." Jake smiled, "You never seize to surprise me."

"You deserve someone better than me," Peyton looked away, "Someone who can love you back."

"You are better than everyone else." Jake made her look at him again.

She couldn't believe what was going on. How could he like her? She was so messed up and he was so amazing; they would never work.

As if in slow motion Jake leaned into Peyton, brushing their lips together. Maybe finally she would see that there was nothing better than her and she was worth every bit of this fighting they had just gone through. Peyton surrendered herself to him, letting his arms support her body. She fit right into his arms perfectly. She felt so safe in his arms.

The moment didn't last. The tiny infant in the backseat of his car began wailing. The couple parted and Peyton smiled. Her smile made Jake smile as he turned back to his car to comfort the other love of his life.

For the first time in a long time Jake felt complete and whole again; his family was complete and whole again. He was not going to let either of them go that easily.