Author's note: Chapter slightly revised to conform to no NC-17 rule. Original is posted at other fanfiction sites.

Crash and Burn

Chapter 19 – Storm Rising.

Berkley Rose downed the last of his drink and stood, realising that he'd probably drunk more than he'd thought as a warm fuzz surrounded him. The fuzz felt good; like a cushion between him and the real world, which quite frankly was pretty shitty at the moment. Leaving the anonymous bar he'd chosen to kill a couple of hours in, he stepped out onto the street, pulling his jacket around his body against the chilly evening breeze. Pausing to light a cigarette, he glanced around contemplating whether to walk or try and hail a cab. Although it wasn't particularly late, the roads were quiet and Rose decided to make his way home on foot; hopefully clearing his head of some of the alcohol he'd poured into his body.

Work was the reason for his seeking solace in the bottom of a glass. The precinct had been under constant media assault since the revelation about Henry Goldsmith earlier that day and Rose had spent the following hours trying to coordinate a huge exercise in damage limitation, all the while knowing that closing the stable door after the horse had already bolted was as desperate as it was futile. It was also hard to insist on presenting a united front when clearly someone from within had leaked the offending information in the first place.

In the mood for contemplation, Rose couldn't help but wonder who had tipped off the press. Chief Smith had barely spoken to him since the whole sorry saga had begun and both Drake and Ryo seemed suspicious of something. All were good men and none seemed like likely suspects but after recent events, Rose had come to the conclusion that the old X Files catchphrase 'trust no one' seemed a sensible stance to adopt. He'd trusted Henry to keep secret what had happened between them all those years ago and look where that had gotten him.

He passed a couple of people on the street before he turned a corner into a less populated area, which would cut at least ten minutes off his journey. A car passed him slowly, bathing the litter-strewn streets in the glow of its headlights as the occupant looked around for the ladies that could often be found touting their wares in this type of neighbourhood. Seeing no one but the blond man walking hard against the bitter wind, it drove on to a different hunting ground.

Tired of walking with only his thoughts to occupy him; Rose just wanted to be home. Trouble was, he couldn't stop thinking and he very much doubted he'd be able to sleep, such was the level of activity in his troubled mind. He was so preoccupied with thinking about not thinking that the realisation that there was a car behind him on the empty street came too late as the vehicle nudged the back of his legs and knocked him to the floor. It was only a glancing blow, but the fact that he was unprepared for it caused him to hit the ground hard, knocking the wind from him and preventing him from crying out in pain. Instinctively knowing he was in danger, he rolled away from the vehicle to put some distance between them in case the driver came at him again. Using a low wall for support, he pulled himself upright and turned to see the car idling in front of him, its passenger door now open. The headlights were on full but despite being nearly blinded, he could still make out the shape of a figure holding a handgun that was pointing directly at his head.

"Get in," the figure instructed, giving Rose little option but to comply. Slowly, and with the gun still trained on him, the police commissioner moved around the car and got in on the passenger side before the engine fired and the vehicle roared away into the night.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Diana Spacey stretched her long slim legs and yawned. The movie that had just ended had been watchable, just barely, and in the absence of anything else to do she decided to head off to bed. She stood and turned off the lamp in the corner of the room, using the glow from the street lamp outside to navigate her way around the now darkened room; not that there was much furniture to negotiate. The apartment was her New York base for when FBI business brought her back to the city of her birth. It wasn't a frequent event, hence the sparseness of the décor, but she was always glad to return, no matter how fleeting the stay.

On this occasion, she'd been back for almost a month. The case she was working on seemed to be dragging but it also meant she had opportunity to tie up a few personal loose ends. She was in the process of thinking about one of those loose ends while she waited for the kettle to boil when the intercom flared into life. Frowning, as she glanced at the clock, she headed over to the wall-mounted device and pressed the button.

"Hello?" she said, tucking her long blonde hair behind her ear. "Who is it?"

There was a moment of silence before a voice floated out of the speaker, its tones immediately alerting the intuitive woman that something was the matter. "Diana, it's Berkley. Can I come up?"

Her frown at the lateness of the hour stayed in place as she contemplated the reason for his unexpected visit. He sounded… well, in pain. "Berkley? Are you okay? I'm opening the door now."

She pressed the button that would allow Rose access to the building before slipping on some shoes and heading out of her apartment, leaving the door slightly ajar. She was worried; he hadn't sounded his usual confident self and the fact that he was here at all told her something was wrong. After she had turned down a marriage proposal at his request he had become distant again, as if he didn't want her to be his as much as he didn't want her to be anyone else's. She'd been hurt; but work had pulled her back to Los Angeles and she hadn't had much time to consider the mixed signals he was always giving her. She had intended to get back in touch when she'd been assigned back to New York but all the media interest in Rose's precinct had told her that now probably wasn't a good time for hauling him over the coals about how he had treated her.

The elevator was inching up towards her floor and she wrapped her arms around her body, realising it was colder than she'd thought after having spent all evening in her cosy apartment. When the doors slid open, she was greeted by the sight of her on-off lover leaning heavily against the back wall of the carriage, his arms wrapped around his body as if it would fall apart if he let go. One of the lenses in his glasses was smashed and a thin trickle of blood ran from his nose, down the side of his mouth and splashed onto his beige sports jacket.

"God, Berkley, what's happened to you?" Diana asked as she stepped into the elevator and offered him her hand. He ignored the gesture of support but answered her question as they started walking. "I ran into a bit of trouble," was all he said as she shepherded him inside the apartment and flicked on the light.

"That you did," she replied flatly, taking in his pallid skin and pain-pinched expression. "Can you take your coat off?"

He nodded before gingerly trying to shrug out of his outer clothing. Eventually he conceded defeat and allowed Diana to help him. He didn't protest as she started to unbutton his shirt, gasping as his battered flesh came into view. A rainbow of bruises covered his skin, angry and fresh and clearly the source of his pain.

"Jesus Christ, Berkley, who did this to you?" she asked, dragging her eyes away from his chest to his face.

The blond man avoided her gaze before he shrugged. "I don't know. It doesn't matter… look, I don't know why I even came here. I'm sorry…"

He picked his jacket up from where she had draped it over the back of the couch and made to leave. "You usually come when you need to talk about something that's troubling you," she said quietly as he placed his hand on the door handle. She watched as he stopped and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"You're right," he said without turning round. "But it's not your problem."

"Is it to do with that Goldsmith case?" she asked as he spun around to face her on hearing the name that was causing him untold nightmares. "I saw it on the news."

Berkley looked as if he was about to deny it before he nodded his head slowly, and the expression on his face told the female FBI agent that there was more to this than mere work stress. "Come on," she said, reaching out and taking his jacket from him. "Sit down and I'll get you a drink."

The blond commissioner did as he was told as she disappeared into the kitchen before returning with a large measure of brandy. She joined him on the couch, tucking her long legs under her body as she faced him, waiting for him to pour out his troubles. He took a drink, wincing at the taste before he finally turned to look at her. "I'm in a huge mess, Diana. A huge fucking mess and I don't know what to do about it."

"Okay," she said calmly, "Is this because the kidnappers have accused Henry Goldsmith of arranging the crime against his family? He's a friend of yours isn't he?"

Rose nodded, draining the last of the brandy. "I thought he was a friend. I can't believe he'd do something so stupid," he said cryptically, staring down at the empty glass in his hands.

"So you're saying it's true then?"

Rose sighed, knowing that he had unconsciously come to Diana's place instead of going home because he needed to unburden himself. There was no point holding out now. "Henry and I…" he said slowly, "Many years ago we…" He stopped and composed himself, knowing he wasn't making much sense. "I slept with Henry a long, long time ago. I'm ashamed to say it, Diana, but it was for money. I can try and justify it a million different ways but it boils down to the plain and simple fact that I needed money and he was offering it in return for sex. I always knew I wanted to join the police but I couldn't afford to put myself through college. Goldsmith offered me a way out and I took it."

Diana raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything as she sensed the other's shame. Clearly he had thought that everything that had happened would have stayed in the past where it belonged.

"I honestly didn't know that it was Henry that had plotted to have his own family kidnapped when I agreed to have my detectives investigate it as a favour. He eventually came and told me the truth after Latener had been rescued." He sighed and suddenly looked angry at his own naivety. "I should have guessed really, the way he was asking me to manage the case. He came to me just after Dee had been abducted and told me under no circumstances was I to let the suspect we had in custody go in exchange for Dee's release. He wouldn't explain then but the hint of a threat was enough to make me do as he said." He shook his head, ashamed of himself. "I risked the life of one of my men just to save myself."

Diana contemplated what to say that might ease his burden. "Okay, so you did wrong but Dee's okay, isn't he?"

Rose snorted. "Physically he will be but God only knows whether he'll recover from it mentally. I've not exactly helped matters either."

Diana frowned, recalling that Rose had never been particularly fond of the dark haired detective, but she didn't think he'd ever do anything to harm him. "What d'you mean?"

"Dee knows everything and could testify that Goldsmith was the one behind the kidnapping plot. When Henry got wind of this he came to see me and told me I'd better silence Dee or he'd take me down with him." He stopped speaking and looked at the blonde, his expression pleading with her to understand. "I couldn't let my secret get out, Diana. My career would be over."

"So what did you do?" she asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Rose put the empty glass on the floor and pressed his hands to his eyes. "I blackmailed Dee using things I know abut Ryo to ensure his silence. He's agreed to keep quiet so that should be the end of the matter. When it comes to trial, he'll deny everything and since there'll be no evidence to substantiate the suspects' accusations, the jury will write it off as their attempt to deflect guilt away from the De Lucas."

"So what's all this about?" she asked, gesturing towards his battered body. "Just a little reminder from Henry about your part in the bargain?"

Rose nodded and looked away. "I guess so. His lackeys told me I might want to go and see Dee again to remind him about our arrangement. It seems Henry is getting a little edgy."

Diana shook her head in disbelief. "I can understand why you did what you did, but don't you think this is getting a little out of hand? I mean, you're being beaten up, you're putting pressure on a man who, in your opinion, is already under immense psychological strain and the one person who really deserves all this shit is going to get away scot-free, with, I might add, his celebrity reputation still intact."

"I know," Rose snapped, "Don't you think I've considered how damned unfair this whole situation is? I know I've never really seen eye to eye with Dee but he doesn't deserve this and now he's got a bloody good reason to treat me like something he's scraped off the bottom of his shoe. D'you think I like the idea that he knows I've got something to hide?"

"But you'll always have that hanging over your head while you work with him and you can't fire him because he might suddenly decide one day to tell everyone what you did to him. D'you really want to live with that uncertainty?" she argued, trying to make him see sense.

"No," Rose replied wearily, "But coming clean is equally daunting."

Diana sighed before she looked at him squarely. "Well it's your decision, Berkley. You said yourself, Dee doesn't deserve this and neither do you, all for one indiscretion that happened so many years ago. I'd think long and hard about it before you let Dee lie on the stand for Henry Goldsmith."

"I know," Rose said quietly, wincing at the pain in his ribs. He looked up at the blonde and offered her a thin smile. "Thanks for talking, Diana."

She returned his smile with a warm one of her own. "No problem," she replied, pushing her golden locks back off her face. They stayed that way, eyes locked for several long moments before Rose spoke, his smile now gone.

"I'm really sorry," he said eventually, "About not returning your calls and everything."

Diana nodded and looked away. "It's okay. I'm used to it by now." She paused and offered him a wry smile despite her genuine hurt. "Let's face it; it's not the first time you've done a runner when things have gotten heavy between us."

"I know, but I made you turn down a marriage proposal and then walked away." He shook his head at his own despicable behaviour. "I'm amazed you even let me through the door tonight."

"Yeah well, you're a hard man to turn away, Berkley," she said, unfolding her legs and bringing them up so her chin rested on her knees as she looked at him. "Come on," she said, her voice still low and husky. "Let's go to bed."

The blond man nodded as he looked up at her and stroked her golden locks. "I'd love to," he replied, glad that she'd helped him forget about his problems, even if it was only temporarily.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Across the city, Dee Latener was lying awake as he'd done every night since he'd been rescued. Entangled in his arms lay his blond lover, breathing softly and a million miles away from the restless state Dee currently occupied. He'd been unable to get any real rest for some time now and sleeping in a strange bed didn't help matters, not that he wasn't grateful to Ted for giving up his apartment to them for the night. Bicky was outside on the couch, covered by blankets and judging by the snores emanating from the living room, sleeping soundly too. Only Dee, who was the most in need of slumber, was awake as the clock passed midnight, signifying the start of another day.

He looked down at Ryo laying in his arms and sighed, wishing for not the first time that the events of the last couple of weeks were nothing more than a figment of his overactive imagination. The trial was looming, causing the media circus to swell to epic proportions and the thought of spending the next two weeks having his life exposed under that media microscope was enough to make him want to run away. Sure he wanted to see his kidnapper face justice, but the knowledge that he would have to lie to protect another despicable man was weighing heavily on his mind.

Before he had met Ryo, he may have considered just disappearing, but now he had others to think about besides himself. Glancing down at the man he loved, he silently accepted that running away just wasn't an option. By morning, Dee had come to a decision. As soon as nine o'clock rolled around, he intended to get on the phone to the DA's office and get them to come and take his statement as soon as possible. After serious contemplation he'd decided that the constant agonising over making a false statement was hindering his recovery and so the sooner he got it out the way, the better.

The morning dawned and Ryo went off to work, taking Bicky with him to drop the protesting boy directly at the school gates. He'd been worried about leaving Dee alone but before they'd had to make any decisions about what to do, Polly Andrews the psychiatrist had rung, apologetically asking could they change the time of their appointment to the morning. She offered to come out to the apartment and so Dee agreed, explaining they were not at home and giving her directions to Ted's place. Ryo had then left feeling much more relieved knowing Dee would not be alone while he was in work.

He arrived at the precinct having dropped Bicky off, to find Ted and Drake nursing strong cups of coffee in their cramped office. Both looked worse for wear, and on the receiving end of particularly large hangovers. Ted explained they'd gone back to Drake's after leaving his own apartment around ten o'clock and drunk their way through a large crate of beer, finally falling asleep as the sun had started to rise. In between bemoaning their headaches and unsettled stomachs, they informed Ryo that Rose had scheduled a meeting for half an hour's time. Ryo rolled his eyes and dropped into his seat, the old chair creaking under the strain as he contemplated the thought of spending time in Rose's company. He knew his senior was up to something; and whatever it was, he was certain it affected Dee.

Half an hour passed quickly and soon the small office was filled with the group of detectives Rose had chosen to brief at that appointed time. Word in the precinct was Rose was making a point of talking to everyone remotely connected with the Goldsmith case; he had said it was to advise them about dealing with the media although all in question knew he was really trying to seek out who had leaked the information in the first place. Ryo sat at his desk staring at his cup of tea, long gone cold as he heard the door open. Out of his peripheral vision he caught Drake's frown as he sat at the desk across from him and looked up to see what the other man was staring at.

Rose had just entered the office but Drake had immediately noticed there was something wrong with the commissioner, just as Ryo did too as he studied Rose's movements. As he took his seat at the top of the room, the older man looked stiff and in pain as he lowered himself gingerly into the chair, his expression never changing from the look of displeasure he shot the all-male group in the over crowded office. Evidently Drake and Ryo weren't the only ones to notice their commissioner's pained movements when an older detective called Eddings asked the boss if he was okay.

"I'm fine," Rose answered sharply, "Just a little over-exertion at the gym, that's all."

Before anyone could reply, he called the meeting to start and launched into a lengthy diatribe about the importance of keeping police business away from the media, all the time watching each of the men carefully to see if their faces would betray them under his scrutiny and reveal the source of the leak. Throughout the lecture, Ryo paid little attention as his anger simmered. Rose didn't care about anything other than saving his millionaire friend's ass.

"Sir?" he said finally, cutting into Rose's speech. "Permission to ask a question?"

Rose looked surprised by the interruption but nodded anyway. "Sure."

Ryo sat forward in his chair, his body language telling the other men in the room that this was no straightforward question he was about to ask. His demeanour was somewhat aggressive; a sight more often seen on his beloved partner than the easy going blond. His dark eyes were bright with anger and few failed to miss it.

"Can I ask, Sir," he said, inflecting the last word heavily, "Why we're putting all this effort into protecting someone, who for all we know could be guilty of the accusations against him when Dee is getting no support from this department in dealing with the media that are constantly harassing him. He's giving his statement this afternoon to the DA's office; he tried to do it about a week ago but couldn't because he was still so traumatised."

Stunned silence followed, which Rose was about to break before Ryo spoke again, determined not to let the other man speak until he had said all he wanted to say. "Last night, we were forced to stay away from our own home because of the number of reporters camped out on our landing, waiting for a photo or a comment or whatever the hell they wanted. Dee needs to recover in peace, not with this… this circus going on around him, but other than some good friends who know who they are, there has been no one from the law enforcement family to help us. Indeed Sir," he said coldly, about to twist the knife even further, "I can't recall you ever asking me since the day Dee was rescued how he's getting on. Do you even care?"

Rose looked dumbfounded as all eyes turned to him, awaiting his response. Ryo looked so angry that he wasn't sure what he could say that would placate him. Rose himself was furious that Ryo was bringing about this dialogue in such a public place but he couldn't blame him either; he had done very little to support Dee since he had been rescued, other than authorising the charging of Dee's medical expenses to the department. In the way of anything other than financial support, he had done nothing, just as Ryo had accused.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Randy," he said calmly, "But I thought it would be best not to unnerve Dee by a constant police presence. If you feel it will help then I'll gladly organise some uniformed support for you."

He jumped as Ryo slammed his fist down on the desk. "Goddamnit Rose! Just ask how Dee is! D'you really hate him that much?"

"No I don't," Rose replied, not willing to be humiliated by this encounter. "And of course I care; I care about all my men, so tell me how he is. I have enquired but the hospital won't give out any information."

There was a moment of angry silence as the other men watched this Mexican standoff with increasing discomfort. Eventually Ryo responded; his voice now drained of anger, replaced with hurt. "He's suffering, for a multitude of reasons and if this carries on, there's not going to be much of the old Dee left for you to hate." He snorted as he eyed Rose dangerously, his rising anger the only thing keeping tears at bay. "Every cloud has a silver lining, huh, Sir?" he said as he shoved back his chair and stormed from the office, slamming the door behind him with a resounding bang.

TBC…