Thanks to Storm O and Alison for their input and betareading services.
"Brrr," Shana shuttered as she felt a sudden blast of unseasonably cold air wisp across her body. She quickly brushed off what she thought was a long, dull, rolling thunder in the distance. Strange, it's been hot all week with no rain forecasted in the near future. She went back to reflect on the letter she had just read. Again, she felt that quick burst of freezing cold air against her skin; but this time, she also felt a creepy, tingly sensation crawling down her spine. She looked up at the previously crystal clear, late night sky and saw a small cumulus cloud explode into giant towers to the west of their house. That doesn't look good. Better get inside.
Hesitantly, Shana opened one of the French doors and reentered their home. She walked through the family room, completely ignoring her husband as she passed him and headed towards their bedroom, which was located in the back of the house.
"Shana?" His voice called out after her. Receiving no reply, Conrad decided to follow her. On his way, he glanced at the clusters of photographs, which were hanging on the hallway wall. They were a mixture of candid and professional shots of their family and friends, ranging from their time with the Joes up until Junior's birthday party two weeks earlier.
Conrad immediately stopped in his tracks when he came across a photo of Shana that was taken at a Joe reunion party held at Ettienne's family plantation in Louisiana. No one officially knew of her first pregnancy until that party. They had decided to keep it a secret and surprise everyone; although, a few of them with whom they had much contact suspected something was up.
Shana had wanted to see all her friends again but was leery of going. She was in the latter part of her first trimester and was having a horrible ordeal with morning sickness, or as she had called it "all-day sickness". Conrad's face drooped when he recalled the first question out of everyone's mouth after they announced the news. It wasn't the normal "When's the baby due?" or "Do you want a boy or a girl?"
No, it was "Does this mean that you two are finally getting married?" He hated the disappointment he felt when he had to answer "No". Conrad had asked his long-time girlfriend to marry him when she told him. Shana replied with her own question, along with a request to look her in the eye when he answered, which he hated since he could never hide his real intentions from her that way. Are you asking me because you were going to or are you asking me because of this baby?
Conrad remembered wanting to tell her so badly that it was because he had planned on asking anyways, but he also knew her past and that one teeny white lie would end up hurting her a whole lot more than anything else she had faced before. Besides, he could never look her in the eyes and lie to her.
In a few frames over, he saw a picture of Junior sitting next to his mama. Junior had become quite anxious waiting for the new baby's arrival. He kept asking when the baby could come out and play with him. Conrad's face turned a ghostly white. I knew the moment she became pregnant with both our children, the exact moment. No, we both knew. We denied it as long as we could, telling ourselves she was just late... When it became almost three months, we decided we had to face the facts, especially since we were traveling a few weeks later.
As Conrad stared blankly at his wife's pictures, the red haired, blue-eyed lady seemed to slowly evolve. Conrad shook his head when he thought he saw a young, black haired girl. He looked back at the photo, and this time, instead of seeing his wife, he saw a blond-haired, hazel-eyed college girl he had once loved. Stacy. Conrad's mind drifted back to the last few days they were together. Did he really have absolutely no idea Stacy was pregnant with their child? Or was that something he had convinced himself of over and over again until it had finally become a reality to him? Stacy collaborates the story of me not knowing, at least she does according to what Mrs. Johnston wrote. But how do they know what I knew or didn't know when I don't even know anymore?
Back in their safari decorated bedroom, Shana collapsed on the bed, still partially in disbelief that her husband had a son the whole time they had known each other and never bothered to tell her the possibility. If he had, she would have been a little better prepared for this day. Mrs. Johnston said he doesn't know, but that's highly unlikely. I 'know' my husband. We both knew the exact moment both of our children were conceived, even though we denied it as long as possible with Junior.
Shana's eyes gazed at the bedroom's olive green walls and white ceiling. She knew he would sleep in that bed with her tonight, and she wasn't ready to deal with him yet as she had not come to terms about Christopher and needed more time alone to think things through before she became forced to say things she didn't mean.
Other thoughts snuck into her mind and found a dwelling place. Shit, where did that come from? Shana shrieked outloud, shunning the memories of Selena, as she jumped out of the bed and quickly gathered a few necessities, which she placed into a small duffel bag. Conrad peeked into the room as she did and retreated back down the hallway.
Quietly and quickly, Shana made her way back to the garage and her car. "Damn, my purse," she said as she went back in to the mud room. She glared at her husband who was holding her worn out, tan leather purse.
"Where are you going?" He asked, worried about his wife. He knew the way she drove when she was upset. It had been an exhausting day already, and he didn't want to get that middle of the night phone call or knock on the door from someone saying, "Mr. Hauser, this is Officer..."
Shana could hear the concern in his voice, but wasn't sure if his concern was for her or for him, since she was struggling with other probable, but unwarranted thoughts. She should never have entertained to them to start with, but now they had taken hold and were brewing fast. "Don't force me to talk with you right now. I don't want to do or say something we'll both regret." She grabbed the tan purse out of her husband's clutch and turned to head back towards her car.
"Shana," Conrad cried out, grabbing her upper arm rather tightly. "Please don't go. I love you so much. I'm so sorry about all this. Please stay..." His voice trailed off towards the end.
Shana turned back to face him and said emotionlessly, "You're hurting me." The look on her face and the sudden defensive stand she took alone were enough to cause his heart to stop that very moment. His mind flashed back - that was one of the scenes he mentally pictured when she had told him about her nasty divorce. He had sworn he would never, nor allow anyone else to, treat her like that ever again.
"I'm sorry," Conrad said, tears flowing from his eyes as he released his grip on her arm.
Shana placed her hand on his hand in a weak attempt to comfort him. "I'm not leaving for good... at least, not yet. You're gonna have to do something a hell of a lot worse than this to break us up," she tried to laugh. She raised her head; her tear-filled, tired eyes meeting his wet, reddened ones. "Just do me one favor," Shana asked.
"Of course. Anything," Conrad replied.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you had no clue, no earthly idea, no shred of suspicion, that Stacy was pregnant with your child back then. We, you and I, knew the moment Junior and Rachel were conceived... but if you can look me in the eye and tell me you didn't know, I'll believe you."
No longer sure of what was the truth, Conrad couldn't do the one thing his wife had asked since finding out about Christopher. It wasn't much and the story was already collaborated by another party. What was stopping him? Damn it. Her eyes.
Flashbacks of her husband's betrayal grew stronger and stronger in Shana's mind, no matter how hard she tried to fight them off. They had worked through the Selena ordeal, and she had forgiven him. It was something they had decided to leave in the past and never bring up again. However, the memories were becoming so real that she felt like she was reliving it. Shana even unconsciously substituted Selena for Stacy, even though the situations were completely different.
The stress of wondering why her boyfriend had suddenly stopped seeing her came back to haunt her. For weeks after being rescued from Cobra's mountain fortress, Conrad would only see her during "business hours" or call her. He cancelled date after date, saying something had come up.
Even though she knew her husband much better now and knew he would never do such a thing anymore, the memories became so overwhelming that her senses began playing games on her. She swore she could smell that same perfume that lingered on Conrad's clothes the day she found out he had been seeing Selena.
A loud clash of thunder broke the eerie silence that had previously encompassed the suburban neighborhood, followed by a series of lightening. It was as if the gods were in an all out war to see who was the most powerful.
Meanwhile, across town, Patrick O'Hara stirred to find that his two grandchildren had crawled in bed with him. "Now, now. Hush. It's just a storm," he said, trying to calm the nervous and scared Junior and Rachel. Both cried out for their "mama" and "dada". After getting them both to fall asleep, Patrick wandered downstairs and opened his front door. He looked up at the sky and mumbled, "Strange weather for these parts. The last time I saw a storm like this was a few days before we left Ireland." He closed the door and went to his bar. He poured a small glass of whiskey and went to sit down in his Lazyboy recliner in the den to relax before heading up to one of the other bedrooms to go back to sleep.
Shana, what the hell is going on? Patrick thought, sensing that something wasn't right with his daughter and son-in-law. He knew it the moment his son-in-law called and asked if he could take the children for the weekend. Conrad had refused to divulge any details, saying it wasn't something to worry over. The sudden change in weather seemed to yell its disagreement.
A cloud-to-ground lightening bolt struck, which was shortly followed by a loud crash of thunder. During which, Shana had picked up on her husband's body language. She slapped him across his face just as the power flickered off and cried out, "How could you, you bastard? The least you could have done was tell me. We've both had relationships prior to ours. We even worked through your on-the-side relationship with Selena. Is she going to show up next with another one of your children that you conveniently didn't know about!" Realizing she had just voiced the thoughts she was fighting off earlier, Shana diverted her eyes from her husband's astonished stare and lowered her head. She softly added, "Conrad, I... I'm... I shouldn't have brought Sel..."
"Shhh... I almost lost you back then because of my selfishness. Shana, I don't want to lose you now or ever. When I vowed 'forsaking all others', I meant forsaking all others." Conrad stressed the 'all' as he tried pulling his wife closer to him, hoping she was bluffing about leaving, even if just for a night or two.
Shana tried to remind herself that this was about Stacy and Christopher and not that slave girl she had befriended, who would repay her by stabbing her in the back. The relationship with Stacy happened well before they had even met and became friends. She had no reason to be jealous over that.
Conrad's arms felt comforting and good around her. She tilted her head up to look at his face. It didn't take long for her to realize this was the same man who had betrayed her years ago. Now, he couldn't even do the one thing she asked and tell her for sure that he was oblivious to his old girlfriend's pregnancy. Shana shoved Conrad away from her and grabbed her bag and purse. On her way out the door, she stopped and said, "I loved and trusted you. I told you all about my past relationships, my previous marriage, and consequential divorce."
"Shana," a saddened and lost voice called after her.
Tears streamed down Shana's face as she opened the door to her car and climbed in. She turned her head and looked her husband straight in the eyes. Before slamming the door shut, she said in a raspy, low-toned voice, "Hell, Conrad, you were one of the very few people who knew about Angel!"