First of all, I really want to thank those that took the time to post their reviews. It did a lot to encourage me to write on! I just hope this chapter's able to hold my reader's attention; I tried to make it as complete and concise as possible, but it's probably still kind of wordy and has some unnecessary lines. I'll really start developing the plot and get in-depth in the story within the next few chapters, if I continue. Pls continue R&R.
Disclaimer (forgot to put it in chapter 1): Slam Dunk and its characters are not my property.
Chapter 2: The Right Decision?
A waiter of the small noodle restaurant glanced curiously at the table where two tough-looking young men sat.
"Normally, that penniless redhead delinquent would bother other diners to give up their dinner or bully me into treating him a few extra platters," The waiter whispered to his friend. "Today, he hasn't even finished his second bowl of soba yet. What could be eating him?"
"I guess I'll be able to finish my own dinner for once, seeing how bad your appetite is today," Youhei was grinning, but couldn't repress the note of worry in his voice. Sakuragi didn't answer, just picked at his food with a dull expression on his face.Ever since that encounter, Sakuragi had fallen disturbingly silent; his eyes were droopy due to lack of sleep, and he didn't look half as exhilarated even when Haruko praised him today.
"Maybe you should have gone to Okinawa with the rest of the gundan, Hana. You were the one who won those plane tickets in the lottery, anyways."
"Humph. The tensai has much more important things to do than go on vacation and harass girls." Sakuragi drew in a deep breath. "You know what, Youhei? I had the most brilliant idea yesterday, but it didn't work. I tried banging all the basketball frames in the gym last night to see if they'd fall, but they were sturdy as ever! There was nothing—not even a crack!"
Oh drat, he's still obsessed with that damn vision. "I thought you said you wouldn't prod in Rukawa's business anymore."
"It has nothing to do with helping that fox!" The redhead exclaimed, looked both irritated and sheepish. "It's because...because...it's because I have to make sure no one else gets hurt...yes, that's it! What if Haruko chan happens to be standing under that very frame meant for Rukawa? The tensai needs to protect her from every possible danger!"
"There are three very good reasons why you shouldn't do anything to Rukawa or the basketball frames," Youhei told him, getting a little exasperated. "One: with the strength you, Rukawa, and Gori dunk the ball, the frame should have already fallen down by now. Two: You don't know just when to prepare for the incident; it may tomorrow, it may be next YEAR. Three: if you do that, you'd still be meddling with Rukawa's fate!"
"But that weird woman with the blanket said something will happen only if I told someone else about the vision...hey, but I did already! I told you!" Sakuragi said, looking a little panicked.
"Hana, don't worry, I'm sure she was referring to the people who would try to prevent the incident; I'm certainly not one of them." His friend reassured him quickly. "In case anything happens to Rukawa, Haruko will need as much support as possible. You have to be there for her." And of course, you may finally have her for yourself too. But that's an awful thing to say out loud.
"Absolutely! I have to be there for Haruko-chan. It's the least I can do to repay her kindness. That's one promise you can count the tensai to keep!" Sakuragi proclaimed, but uncertainty was still evident on his face.
Youhei sighed. He understood the reason why Sakuragi felt this way. The more you try to bully someone you don't truly hate, the worse you feel for them when a big tragedy happens to him or her. Especially if you are as moody and naively sensitive as Sakuragi. I know Rukawa's not a bad person, and I wish I could help Hana alleviate his guilt... I just have a really bad feeling about this, and my intuition has always proven to be right so far...
What he didn't know was that something else, something deeper than sympathy was bothering the redhead. A feeling that even Sakuragi himself was clueless about, except...that feeling vaguely resembled the fear and helplessness of losing what really mattered to him. It all started because one day after practice, it was the first time for so long that Sakuragi saw it in a person's eyes: vulnerability, disappointment, or even hurt; not just plain anger or fear when he physically threatened someone. He'd seen them at the time when he pulled away from his mother, not knowing she was dying; when he beat people up in front of his father; and the time at the locker room when someone's look reminded him of those times...
"Oh shit, stop thinking about it!!" Sakuragi suddenly yelled, bringing his fist down to the table, making the tableware and the other diners around him jump.
Sakuragi pressed his forehead against the table as frightened diners hastily left the restaurant.
"Hanamichi...what's gotten into you?" Youhei demanded softly, after recovering from his shock and confusion.
"Nothing, Youhei..."
"You're lying, Hana. And this is one lie that I can't let you go with. Is there something more to this incident that's bothering you?"
"I said it's nothing."
"Hanamichi, I know you better than that. You should let me in on the important things!"
"It's none of your damn business; stay out of it!" The redhead snapped in a sullen voice.
Youhei was taken aback. Sakuragi had never talked to him like that in a serious situation. "I've always respected you despite your inconsiderate ways, Hana, but now you're being a real disappointment. I'm your best friend; I have the right to know..." he started, with sternness in his voice.
"Don't label yourself as my best friend, Youhei! You don't know crap and you have no right to judge me at all!" He blurted out. "Whatever you know about me is from teasing and fighting, you can't ever truly understand how I really feel inside! I..." Sakuragi stopped abruptly, realized what he had just said.
Then he saw it again on Youhei's face: that thing he feared seeing the most.
"Oh god..." Sakuragi felt helplessness and remorse rush through him. "I didn't mean that, Youhei. I...I..."
"You know what, Sakuragi Hanamichi, if you are so taking the few friends you have for granted, you'll end up having none." his friend said in a deceivingly calm tone full of pain mixed with anger. "Go do whatever the hell you want, if it's so much more important than our friendship!" With that, his friend stood up and stormed out of the restaurant speedily.
"Hey, listen to me, god dammit! I'm not like that at all...Youhei, wait! STOP!" He cried desperately. In his panic to follow his friend, he tripped and fell disgracefully to the restaurant floor, face down. For a moment, the redhead lay there, unmoving. Then he could no longer hold his tears back.
"Stop. Stop, please...I'm sorry. Don't leave..." He pleaded in a barely audible voice, his proud ego gone for the moment, as was Youhei.
The owner of the restaurant had been infuriated at the commotion Sakuragi had caused and thought about calling the police; but seeing the state Sakuragi was in, he changed his mind and put down the receiver.
He walked cautiously over to the redhead who was still slumped on the floor and bent down beside him. "Not that I'm trying to throw you out, kid...but you shouldn't be here right now; people are staring at you. For your own sake, you'd better go somewhere private." He told the young man as gently as he could.
Sakuragi lifted his tear-stained face and stared at the owner blankly, as if he didn't comprehend. After a few minutes, he picked himself up slowly and dragged himself out the door, completely heedless of the countless stares following him.
His best friend's physical and mental support had not gone unappreciated by Sakuragi; however, Youhei was right; he probably had sort of taken it for granted, like did his natural strength and stamina. Heaven knows that open and loudmouthed as he was, Sakuragi entrusted his secrets to Youhei more than anyone else after his father left him. It was just that Sakuragi had been too angry and ashamed at himself for not saving his father that time and lied saying he passed away during that accident along with his mother The mounting inner conflicts were too much for the inexperienced boy to handle, making him blurt out things he never meant to.
He finally got to his house. His dark, empty home. Usually Youhei would insist to spend the night here whenever he perceived the redhead was depressed, but not tonight. Sakuragi slammed the door and threw himself on his bed. Having lived such a carefree life for such a while, he was totally unprepared for the sudden wave of emotional events; it fatigued him beyond anything he'd ever felt. No one there to listen to him vent, no one to give him sincere advice. He's on his own to face the world. Again. He didn't even bother turning on the alarm clock in case he oversleeps tomorrow's practice. For now, he cared about nothing. He just wanted to forget all of it by sleeping it off.
About a forty minute bike ride from Sakuragi's house, a raven haired young man leaned against his desk chair, gazing outside his bedroom window.
You must have been born to ruin my happiness! It's been two days, and those damn words were still echoing in his head.
Of all people, why did that do'aho have to remind me of my worst dread?!
Did the do'aho really think he was that lifeless as to have no emotions other than for basketball? He was comfortable being all by himself, because he had no choice but to preoccupy himself with the only thing he felt confident in.
I've succeeded; I've finally entered the inter-high championships, but even so, what now? Funny how he's been repeatedly asking himself this question ever since basketball became an obsession, how the empty feeling got stronger at every big step he made. So unrestrained in opportunities and skills, yet at the same time, so trapped.
But who could he blame? He hated social life; his mother insisted that he at least try a relationship, especially since he's such a girl magnet. There is no way he'll share anything with those ridiculously shallow chatterboxes, nor those who are too busy with their own lives to try and understand him.
Sakuragi Hanamichi was all different. As stupid and retarded that redhead was, it felt so purposeful helping the redhead's potential reach its peak, just like a father teaching his son to be the best he can be. He needed to put the Sakuragi down when he gets overly proud of his achievement level, to remind him not to be content until the redhead was as good as himself. But of course, there were a few times when he could not resist making known the pride he felt when he witnessed the vast advancements: That glorious slam dunk in the Shoyo game; those last few seconds with Sannoh when Sakuragi succeed that three-point shot; that high-five they shared equally, the first one that ever meant something to him. Knowing the redhead wouldn't be where he stood today without his generous criticisms and jibes. Now that's a genuine reason for him to be smug.
He is so short sighted, jumping with excitement at the slightest bit of improvement and praise. But maybe that's why I admired him. He's able to appreciate the simplest and littlest things, while I never felt satisfaction attaining any of my own goals, never knew how to savor the taste of victory. I'd immediately strive for larger, even more complex ones and never feel the least happy. Whenever he recalled those moments with Sakuragi, a strange gratification would fill him, those empty feelings gone.
But now I know that in reality, he thinks my sole purpose of life is to make him miserable, huh. Recalling those unintentionally harsh words, that sense of satisfaction became as hollow and meaningless as everything else. After all those seemingly significant moments they had shared together, after all the guidance and encouragement he had dedicated, Sakuragi still thought of their relationship as worthless and obstructing.
Why did he make the mistake in putting his energy and hope on another human, again? It has already been proven to fail enough times...it was just that the Do'aho seemed so simple-minded in a harmless way, seemingly capable of connecting with him in a way no one else can...but in the end, it all turns out to plain self-delusion. Rukawa knew he gave his emotions away at those severe words, and to salvage his pointless pride, could only hope that the boy was too dense to notice or remember...
A perfunctory knock suddenly cut into his thoughts, and Rena, the hired cleaning lady opened the door.
"Where have you been, Kaede san? It's almost 9 o'clock. Mrs. Rukawa told you she doesn't like you coming in too late, didn't she?" She reminded him.
Rukawa snorted quietly. The old hag was so uptight about following each of his mother's annoying orders. "I told you yesterday, plus a thousand times over the past three years. Practice requires me to stay this late."
"Kaede san, it's not healthy for you to go through such strenuous activity for a long time. I've heard that someone actually died of seizure because he was training too hard..."
"Just leave me alone, Rena. I'm too tired to listen."
The old maid grunted disapprovingly, and closed the bedroom door.
Died of seizure, huh? Frankly, he wouldn't mind dying anytime soon; what to lose except the basketball skills, the excuse for him to carry on his dull life, and will eventually wear away as he aged? By the way, he needed no one's tears, nobody's pity, nothing. He wished that no one would give a damn if he died!
Rukawa got up from his desk and flopped onto his unmade bed. He peered at the clock. 11:30, way past his usual bedtime. He never overslept practice once in his life; however, maybe he should set his alarm this time, just in case.
"...someone must have broken the lock a little after we closed the gym. I checked everywhere, but nothing seems to be missing or out of place. There aren't any signs that someone set foot in, either. How could that be?" Ayako was telling Miyagi.
"Relax, Aya-chan," Miyagi replied comfortingly. "It may just be that the guy wanted to sabotage, but had a sudden change of heart. I'll look for a stronger lock after practice."
8:00 a.m. Amazingly, Rukawa was still the first ones to get to the gym, just a little after the two manageresses and Miyagi, their new appointed captain. He vaguely recalled hearing that worried conversation among them before starting his warm ups...
Sakuragi once again found himself in the school gym, but it was only him. Something just wasn't right, something just felt missing...
A moment later, his teammates flooded in. He greeted them with his usual cheerfulness. "Ha ha ha, I told you the tensai would beat everyone to practice one day!" But they didn't respond, just looked at him blankly.
Huh? Sakuragi looked around. "Why are you people standing there like retards? Where is the fox?"
Miyagi spoke up. "How could you be so oblivious, Hanamichi? Rukawa died from that accident, remember? We all just came back from paying our respects."
"What?" The redhead gaped at him. Just when did it happen? Why wasn't I told at all?
"Be sure to stop by the cemetery and visit him when we're done with practice," Mitsui told him as he brushed past.
Practice went on as usual, and for some reason, Sakuragi was playing exceptionally well, making the most beautiful three point shots. Every time he did so, he would turn around and shout, "Heh you see that, Rukawa? The tensai has truly surpassed...", but Rukawa would be nowhere in sight. Oh, I forgot. He's gone.
Next thing he knew, he was standing in front of Rukawa's grave, which for some reason happens to be placed right in the middle of his mother's and father's. He asked himself, "Why did I come back to this graveyard?? I...I don't want to be within a mile of this place. Someone, something, get me out of here!!"
He woke up with a jolt, sweating and panting. Once again, he heard those accusing words in his head. Okaasan was dying right before your eyes when you were a kid and you didn't save her. Oyajii was dying right before your eyes when you were old enough to fight and work; yet, you still didn't save him. And now...
Suddenly, the dauntless sixteen year-old felt the onslaught of that long- gone fear and vulnerability: ten years ago, the very same night when his mother passed away and his father forced to stay in for overnight shift. He encountered the black out and the hurricane alone in his house that night, with the howling wind rattling the windows. Scared and lonely inside the house, yet trapped, because it was too dangerous outside. Just like the tough, fearless exterior the frightened boy was forced to adapt because those malicious kids in class were almost bullying him to death. Eventually the toughness became integrated into his ego, but there were always those dreams to remind him of his true insecure self. Nothing he was able to protect, no where to go, hopeless no matter what he did. Once again, he found his arms around himself, as if trying to shield himself from the rest of the cruel, dark world.
Sakuragi jumped out of bed and darted out of the house like a lunatic, wanting to run away from the house, from his past, from himself. Hot tears were streaming uncontrollably down his cheeks. His eyes were wide with the desperation he felt. I just can't bear it anymore. I don't want to go through any bit of those goddamn memories, ever! Oh please, make them go away!!
Then he stopped in his tracks, the desperation in his eyes fading a little. It all started with that vision...and now the horrible dream. If he did something about it, maybe he'd rid some of this harrowing fear...he spun around and started speeding towards the gym with an unshakable intent.
Youhei shifted impatiently in the corner of the gym and stared up at the clock again. 10 a.m. Shit. It's been almost two hours, and Hana still hasn't showed up. He wanted to go check at Sakuragi's house, but was so anxious about seeing him that he decided to stay put in case his friend changes his mind at the last minute. I'll bet he's not gonna let me in anyways. He's always the last one to get over a fight. At least let me apologize, Hana. It may not be enough for ditching you last night, but I promise I'll somehow make it up to you in the future.
Out of breath but still running, Sakuragi finally reached the school gym. The doors were wide open, and all eyes were still glued on Rukawa, as the boy just made one of his best shots yet. It was the exact scene he saw in the vision.
He yelled at the top of his lungs, "GET AWAY FROM THERE, YOU DUMB FOX!!" and lunged forward. Rukawa only had time to turn around in surprise before the redhead fell on top of him.
Horrified, Youhei sprung to his feet. "HANA, NO!!!" Too late.
A deafening shatter shook the gym. Afterwards, Sakuragi found cheek resting on Rukawa's lower back, felt himself filled with numbness. He opened one eye and saw blood splattered all over. Shit, I'm too late. Again. He thought grimly.
Sakuragi then stared in disbelief as Rukawa suddenly started to lift his upper body up. "Huh? You're alive, fox? Hey, say something, dammit!"
He slowly turned to Sakuragi and his narrow eyes suddenly widening twice their size in terrible shock, his pale face whiter than ever before.
"Oi...oi Rukawa, why the hell are you looking at me like I'm a ghost?" he demanded softly. He turned around slowly, and saw a huge chunk of the frame wedged deep into his back. "Huh? What...what happened? It's my...?" The redhead still had a hard time registering.
The numbness started to wear away, replaced by an excruciating pain that surged into every nerve in his body. Amidst his thrashing in the ocean of pain that was driving him to insanity, he vaguely heard screams in the background. Then a strange feeling crept into his awareness; the feeling that he had experienced this tremendous pain before. Suddenly, all the sensations in his body seemed to cease abruptly, and everything went black.
Oh god. Youhei sank to his knees and buried his face into his hands. He was hurting so much that he could hardly gasp for air, let alone scream in pain. Hana, you promised me you wouldn't, you promised yourself too! Why do this to yourself?! Why?!! Now he'll never have a chance to tell his friend how sorry he was...
Minutes later, medical help had reached him, and covered his face up.
"...at least his suffering didn't last long..." One of the paramedics remarked.
Rukawa remained in complete shock, even long after they hauled out Sakuragi's body. He did nothing but stare senselessly at the doorway they exited.
TBC?