Chapter 2
The first thought through Hermione's mind when she woke was that last time she opened her eyes she hadn't been able to see a thing. Ever since she was a small child she had always woken in the same manner. Slowly, allowing one sense at a time to absorb the details of her surroundings. Usual waken by birds chirping, or the irritating buzz of an alarm she would lie still, letting the sound wash over her before drawing in a deep breath, sucking in all the smells she could. Next she would stretch, always slowly, letting her skin relish the touch of soft, warm fabric. Having stretched all of her muscles, working out the morning kinks, she let her eyes flutter open and took in her surroundings; the intricate pattern of shadows on the roof, the pile of papers on the corner of her desk, the sun shining through a window. That final part of her morning ritual, sight, was one she wouldn't be using for some time.
She moved slowly into a sitting position, he head was pounding. She fought the urge to vomit. Blackness pressed in on her and, even as she strained to see through it, she knew it was useless to fight either the pain or the blackness that threatened to overwhelm her. With a defeated sigh she sank back onto the pillows. Despair took a hold of her with firm cold fingers and she felt tears falling from her now useless eyes.
` Severus, who had finally fallen asleep in the early morning hours, woke with a start. Cracking the stiffness out of his neck he rose to check on his patient. Her eyes were open, staring unseeingly up at the ceiling, tears making their way, unhindered, down her cheeks. Snape felt as if an invisible hand had grabbed his heart and was trying to crush it. She looked so hopeless, he couldn't stand it. With trembling, unsure fingers he reached out and took her tiny, cold hand in his large warm one.
Hermione's breath caught as she felt warm fingers close around her icy hands. The touch was so gentle, and comforting in its simplicity. Knowing she wasn't alone the darkness seemed less oppressive. She attempted a watery smile and tried to face her rescuer, giving up when the pain in her head became unbearable once again and she was unable to form even a basic coherent thought.
Snape watched helplessly as Hermione moved her head towards him, the frustration and loss that had been so clearly etched in her every feature just a moment ago was replaced by an expression of intense pain. He rubbed his thumb gently against her palm, reaching for the pain relieving potion with his other hand. He gently raised the bottle to her lips, "Here, this will help with the pain."
The voice of her rescuer washed over her, soothing her frazzled nerves, as he held the bottle to her lips. Hermione swallowed the bitter liquid without complaint, willing it to work quickly. His thumb rubbed the center of her palm, in a soothing manner. Slowly the pain eased and her brain cleared. Cautiously she pulled herself into a sitting position, and with some assistance, shifted so she could lean against the headboard. This small effort left her head reeling and again she suppressed the need to vomit.
Severus tucked pillows around his patient, being as gentle as he could. Years of potions making had left him keenly observant and he could tell she was still feeling weak, probably too weak to be sitting, but if this was what she wanted he would let her, for now. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before letting it drop. "I have some matters to attend to, I'll be back in a few minutes," he said softly.
Hermione heard his soft footsteps walking across the room, then the click of a door closing and felt a keen sense of loss. Once again she felt the blackness creeping in around her. The silence was oppressive, closing in on her, threatening. Her skin was cold, she was sweating, her heart was pounding and she could not seem to stop herself from hyperventilating. In short she was panicking.
In the other room Severus leaned back against the wall, his eyes closed trying to get a grip on himself. He had never in his entire existence felt such a strong urge to protect someone, to be tender and even kind. There had never been a person close enough for him to love them. His own parents had been distant and expected him to be the same, even going so far as to change nannies every nine months or so to keep him from becoming attached. In a family where every male was a Death Eater there had been no room for warmth, compassion, or happiness let alone for love. During his years as a Death Eater he had seen countless people killed, men, women and children, but it had never affected him emotionally. Now this young women he had detested as his student was stirring up all these emotions he had never known, all because of a few tears and a woebegone expression. It was as if she had opened up a section of his heart that had been locked since birth, just waiting for someone to need him. He drew in a deep shaky breath, he needed to return to Hermione, it wouldn't be good to leave her alone, at least not until he knew if she could call for help if she needed it.
He turned and reentered the room. Hermione was still sitting as he had left her, but she was paler and her breathing was short and ineffective. Worried about her, he hurried to her side. "Hermione?" his voice was a little husky and he damned his weakness.
Hermione heard footsteps returning to her side, and then a voice penetrating the silence, coming to her rescue once again. She reached out he hand, trying to locate the man. His hand met hers and held it gently.
"Hermione, are you alright?"
She nodded faintly. Not wanting to move her head too far, worried about bringing back the excruciating pain.
"Do you know where you are?" he sat at the edge of her bed, he hand still clasped in his, hoping to give comfort by that simple gesture.
Hermione shook her head, she was almost certain she recognized his voice, but she couldn't remember from where, and she most definitely didn't know where she was. Except that she was in the presence of Magical people not Muggles she didn't have a clue.
"You're at Hogwarts." He continued in his silky voice. "You were found on the battlefields and brought here to recover. Albus Dumbledore placed you under my care since the Infirmary was full of the mortally wounded and in case you haven't figured this out yet, I am Severus Snape." He paused for a moment, studying her face. When he had spoken of the battlefields an expression of loss had crossed her features, but now they were blank again. He couldn't help but notice that she had tightened her grip on his hand rather than loosened it when he told her who he was. "Can you speak?" he asked, his voice was concerned.
She shrugged her shoulders, unsure of how to answer. She didn't think she wanted to speak t anyone yet, but was fairly certain that she would be able to if she tried. Not sure if her reluctance to speak was because she hated not being able to see who she was speaking too, or if it was because she didn't want to answer the questions that would be asked she decided to stay silent for the time being.
"Is it that you can't speak or won't?" Severus's voice was firm, but there wasn't a trace of his usual venom.
Hermione stubbornly held her head high and her mouth closed. Having decided not to tell him she kept to that.
"Please." He couldn't believe how weak he sounded, not only was there none of his usual hard edge, but a now very distinct huskiness had crept in to replace it. "Please Hermione," his voice broke slightly, "Please. I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong." He tightened his hold on her hand, focusing on their intertwined fingers. Willing her to know how much he cared, how much he wanted her to be well how much her suffering was killing him inside even if the pain was unwelcome.
"Won't."
The word was spoken so softly he almost missed it. His eyes flew to her face. "Will you tell me why?" He asked, his voice a gentle caress, knowing within him that she wouldn't, but needing to ask just the same.
She shook her head.
"Alright," he said with his voice as comforting as he knew how to make it. For a few moments he simply sat and watched her. Her face looked composed, but the lack of color worried him. She would need her strength in the days to come if they were going to work to find a cure. Even though she couldn't read or brew potions she would need to be able to answer questions about the nature of her injury, its symptoms and, the most difficult of all, how she had gotten it. Seeing as how she had told him she wouldn't talk he assumed the ordeal that had caused her wound had been traumatic. Finally he decided sitting there wasn't doing anyone any good.
"Do you think you can stand?" he asked, breaking the silence. Her nod caused him to smile. Most likely she wouldn't be able to support her own weight, but it was a good sign that she wanted to try. "Alright, swing your legs over the edge and try to stand. It's understandable if you can't yet. You've been through quite a bit in the last couple of days. Now I'll be right here beside you incase you need help." With that final promise he let go of her hand and rose to stand beside her bed.
Hermione, gritting her teeth against the pain, moved to one side of the bed. Moving slowly she felt for the edge with her feet. Finding it she shifted herself until her feet met cold stone. The ice cold floor sent a shiver up her entire body, chilling her to the core. Taking a huge breath and stealing herself against the nausea her movements had caused already Hermione rose to her feet. She stood straight for about two seconds before her knees gave way and she found herself in Snape's strong arms.
Severus watched her maneuver to the edge of the bed, all the while resisting the urge to help her, knowing that wasn't what she needed. He saw a shudder pass through her when her feet hit the cold stone floor and made a mental not to get her some slippers. He watched her face closely for signs of pain as she rose to her feet, ready to move to her aid at the slightest sign. When she fell he was there to catch her, marveling at how tiny she felt in his arms. Holding her gently with one arm Severus brushed a strand of bushy brown hair off her face. "Are you alright?" he asked for the second time that day.
Hermione heard concern in her former professor's voice, but decided not to dwell on the strangeness of it all, knowing it would only serve to depress her further, instead she nodded quickly and tried to stand. Her head felt swollen from the pain and she was filled with intense relief when Snape scooped her up gently in his arms, and carried her out of the room. His silky voice telling her in soothing tones, that she was going to the dungeons so he could keep an eye on her while doing his work.
The familiar smell of the dungeons was strangely comforting to Hermione as Severus set her on a lounge chair. She couldn't stop the smile that lit her face when he tucked a pillow behind her head and wrapped a thick woolen blanket around her body, he reminded her of a mother hen, which wasn't something she had even expected from her cold, aloof Potions professor. She relaxed into the cozy nest he had created for her and contented herself with listening to the sounds of simmering potions, trying to picture in her mind the long agile fingers moving in fluid motions, chopping, crushing and adding ingredients with precision born of long hours practice.
Severus was having a hard time concentrating on his potions that day. Hermione lay quietly on the lounge he had set her on, her eyes closed, seemingly fine, but he found himself moving to check on her every couple of minutes. Finally he gave up getting any quality brewing done that morning and summoned his assistant to the dungeon.
~
"Mister Creevey," Hermione jumped at the cold harsh tone that had shattered the comfortable quiet of the dungeons, "very nice of you to drop by."
"I'm sorry Professor Snape, sir." Colin said quickly, "I was restocking the infirmary for Madame Pomfry sir." He would probably have continued to give excuses for his tardiness had Snape not interrupted him with a hostile glare.
"Silence, Mister Creevy, is something you must achieve if you are to be of any use to me at all this summer." Snape's voice was dangerously low, a sure sign he had already lost all patience.
Hermione, feeling sure her headache would return full force if she had to listen to another one of Severus Snape's lectures, reached for her pain relieving potion, accidentally knocking it to the dungeon floor where it broke with a resounding crash.
At the sound of the breaking flask Severus whirled away from his troublesome Gryffindor assistant and hurried to his patient's side. Seeing pain in the set of Hermione's shoulders he told Colin to bring him some pain relief potion immediately and reached for her hand. He rubbed it gently, marveling at how small and soft it felt. "Is it as bad as before?" he asked gently, concern evident in his tone.
Hermione shook her head slowly, the pain was their definitely, a dull throbbing at the base of her skull that made her want to vomit, but it wasn't nearly as sharp as it had been the night before. She heard the gentle slaps of shoes against the stone floor and heard the Professor thank his assistant for the potion. The flask felt cold against her lips, but she swallowed its bitter contents obediently.
Severus watched her swallow and sighed in relief when he saw he small shoulders relax once again. When he was sure her pain was gone he squeezed her hand lightly and stood to deal with Colin. "Miss Granger is going to be with us for a while Mister Creevy, and because of this I will be unable to brew most of the potions needed to keep the infirmary running. I have my doubts about your competency, but unless you prove to be even worse than I think you are, which is highly unlikely, you will be the one brewing these potions. I will of course be on hand at all times to supervise you and answer your questions. I only ask one thing, that you work as silently as is possible, so you won't disturb Miss Granger's healing. Do you understand?"
Colin stared open mouthed at his professor. He had never heard him speak so civilly to anyone, and to be trusted with the brewing of the potions being used in the infirmary was such an honor he found himself unable to form words. "Th-thank you sir." He finally managed. "Which potions should I start with then?" he smiled inwardly, proud of himself for forming such an intelligent question.
"There is a list of which potions need brewing as well as the amount of each that is needed on my desk, you may start where ever on that list you like, and I will allow you to work at your own pace as long as you complete the entire list in a reasonable time frame, will that work for you?" Severus smirked at the look of shock on the young Gryffindor's face. "Well, get to it then." he said, turning back to where Hermione lay on the lounge, smiling.
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A/N: I'm not entirely sure about this chapter. the dialogue at the end feels stilted to me. so PELASE tell me if you have ANY suggestions to make it better! THANK YOU!!!
Special thanks to Jeff, Kia Sara, Melon, Nimrowdel, Aegina, and RE16 for reviewing the first chapter!! You guys made my day!!! Thank you SO much!
And of course:
PLEASE REVIEW!!!
The first thought through Hermione's mind when she woke was that last time she opened her eyes she hadn't been able to see a thing. Ever since she was a small child she had always woken in the same manner. Slowly, allowing one sense at a time to absorb the details of her surroundings. Usual waken by birds chirping, or the irritating buzz of an alarm she would lie still, letting the sound wash over her before drawing in a deep breath, sucking in all the smells she could. Next she would stretch, always slowly, letting her skin relish the touch of soft, warm fabric. Having stretched all of her muscles, working out the morning kinks, she let her eyes flutter open and took in her surroundings; the intricate pattern of shadows on the roof, the pile of papers on the corner of her desk, the sun shining through a window. That final part of her morning ritual, sight, was one she wouldn't be using for some time.
She moved slowly into a sitting position, he head was pounding. She fought the urge to vomit. Blackness pressed in on her and, even as she strained to see through it, she knew it was useless to fight either the pain or the blackness that threatened to overwhelm her. With a defeated sigh she sank back onto the pillows. Despair took a hold of her with firm cold fingers and she felt tears falling from her now useless eyes.
` Severus, who had finally fallen asleep in the early morning hours, woke with a start. Cracking the stiffness out of his neck he rose to check on his patient. Her eyes were open, staring unseeingly up at the ceiling, tears making their way, unhindered, down her cheeks. Snape felt as if an invisible hand had grabbed his heart and was trying to crush it. She looked so hopeless, he couldn't stand it. With trembling, unsure fingers he reached out and took her tiny, cold hand in his large warm one.
Hermione's breath caught as she felt warm fingers close around her icy hands. The touch was so gentle, and comforting in its simplicity. Knowing she wasn't alone the darkness seemed less oppressive. She attempted a watery smile and tried to face her rescuer, giving up when the pain in her head became unbearable once again and she was unable to form even a basic coherent thought.
Snape watched helplessly as Hermione moved her head towards him, the frustration and loss that had been so clearly etched in her every feature just a moment ago was replaced by an expression of intense pain. He rubbed his thumb gently against her palm, reaching for the pain relieving potion with his other hand. He gently raised the bottle to her lips, "Here, this will help with the pain."
The voice of her rescuer washed over her, soothing her frazzled nerves, as he held the bottle to her lips. Hermione swallowed the bitter liquid without complaint, willing it to work quickly. His thumb rubbed the center of her palm, in a soothing manner. Slowly the pain eased and her brain cleared. Cautiously she pulled herself into a sitting position, and with some assistance, shifted so she could lean against the headboard. This small effort left her head reeling and again she suppressed the need to vomit.
Severus tucked pillows around his patient, being as gentle as he could. Years of potions making had left him keenly observant and he could tell she was still feeling weak, probably too weak to be sitting, but if this was what she wanted he would let her, for now. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before letting it drop. "I have some matters to attend to, I'll be back in a few minutes," he said softly.
Hermione heard his soft footsteps walking across the room, then the click of a door closing and felt a keen sense of loss. Once again she felt the blackness creeping in around her. The silence was oppressive, closing in on her, threatening. Her skin was cold, she was sweating, her heart was pounding and she could not seem to stop herself from hyperventilating. In short she was panicking.
In the other room Severus leaned back against the wall, his eyes closed trying to get a grip on himself. He had never in his entire existence felt such a strong urge to protect someone, to be tender and even kind. There had never been a person close enough for him to love them. His own parents had been distant and expected him to be the same, even going so far as to change nannies every nine months or so to keep him from becoming attached. In a family where every male was a Death Eater there had been no room for warmth, compassion, or happiness let alone for love. During his years as a Death Eater he had seen countless people killed, men, women and children, but it had never affected him emotionally. Now this young women he had detested as his student was stirring up all these emotions he had never known, all because of a few tears and a woebegone expression. It was as if she had opened up a section of his heart that had been locked since birth, just waiting for someone to need him. He drew in a deep shaky breath, he needed to return to Hermione, it wouldn't be good to leave her alone, at least not until he knew if she could call for help if she needed it.
He turned and reentered the room. Hermione was still sitting as he had left her, but she was paler and her breathing was short and ineffective. Worried about her, he hurried to her side. "Hermione?" his voice was a little husky and he damned his weakness.
Hermione heard footsteps returning to her side, and then a voice penetrating the silence, coming to her rescue once again. She reached out he hand, trying to locate the man. His hand met hers and held it gently.
"Hermione, are you alright?"
She nodded faintly. Not wanting to move her head too far, worried about bringing back the excruciating pain.
"Do you know where you are?" he sat at the edge of her bed, he hand still clasped in his, hoping to give comfort by that simple gesture.
Hermione shook her head, she was almost certain she recognized his voice, but she couldn't remember from where, and she most definitely didn't know where she was. Except that she was in the presence of Magical people not Muggles she didn't have a clue.
"You're at Hogwarts." He continued in his silky voice. "You were found on the battlefields and brought here to recover. Albus Dumbledore placed you under my care since the Infirmary was full of the mortally wounded and in case you haven't figured this out yet, I am Severus Snape." He paused for a moment, studying her face. When he had spoken of the battlefields an expression of loss had crossed her features, but now they were blank again. He couldn't help but notice that she had tightened her grip on his hand rather than loosened it when he told her who he was. "Can you speak?" he asked, his voice was concerned.
She shrugged her shoulders, unsure of how to answer. She didn't think she wanted to speak t anyone yet, but was fairly certain that she would be able to if she tried. Not sure if her reluctance to speak was because she hated not being able to see who she was speaking too, or if it was because she didn't want to answer the questions that would be asked she decided to stay silent for the time being.
"Is it that you can't speak or won't?" Severus's voice was firm, but there wasn't a trace of his usual venom.
Hermione stubbornly held her head high and her mouth closed. Having decided not to tell him she kept to that.
"Please." He couldn't believe how weak he sounded, not only was there none of his usual hard edge, but a now very distinct huskiness had crept in to replace it. "Please Hermione," his voice broke slightly, "Please. I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong." He tightened his hold on her hand, focusing on their intertwined fingers. Willing her to know how much he cared, how much he wanted her to be well how much her suffering was killing him inside even if the pain was unwelcome.
"Won't."
The word was spoken so softly he almost missed it. His eyes flew to her face. "Will you tell me why?" He asked, his voice a gentle caress, knowing within him that she wouldn't, but needing to ask just the same.
She shook her head.
"Alright," he said with his voice as comforting as he knew how to make it. For a few moments he simply sat and watched her. Her face looked composed, but the lack of color worried him. She would need her strength in the days to come if they were going to work to find a cure. Even though she couldn't read or brew potions she would need to be able to answer questions about the nature of her injury, its symptoms and, the most difficult of all, how she had gotten it. Seeing as how she had told him she wouldn't talk he assumed the ordeal that had caused her wound had been traumatic. Finally he decided sitting there wasn't doing anyone any good.
"Do you think you can stand?" he asked, breaking the silence. Her nod caused him to smile. Most likely she wouldn't be able to support her own weight, but it was a good sign that she wanted to try. "Alright, swing your legs over the edge and try to stand. It's understandable if you can't yet. You've been through quite a bit in the last couple of days. Now I'll be right here beside you incase you need help." With that final promise he let go of her hand and rose to stand beside her bed.
Hermione, gritting her teeth against the pain, moved to one side of the bed. Moving slowly she felt for the edge with her feet. Finding it she shifted herself until her feet met cold stone. The ice cold floor sent a shiver up her entire body, chilling her to the core. Taking a huge breath and stealing herself against the nausea her movements had caused already Hermione rose to her feet. She stood straight for about two seconds before her knees gave way and she found herself in Snape's strong arms.
Severus watched her maneuver to the edge of the bed, all the while resisting the urge to help her, knowing that wasn't what she needed. He saw a shudder pass through her when her feet hit the cold stone floor and made a mental not to get her some slippers. He watched her face closely for signs of pain as she rose to her feet, ready to move to her aid at the slightest sign. When she fell he was there to catch her, marveling at how tiny she felt in his arms. Holding her gently with one arm Severus brushed a strand of bushy brown hair off her face. "Are you alright?" he asked for the second time that day.
Hermione heard concern in her former professor's voice, but decided not to dwell on the strangeness of it all, knowing it would only serve to depress her further, instead she nodded quickly and tried to stand. Her head felt swollen from the pain and she was filled with intense relief when Snape scooped her up gently in his arms, and carried her out of the room. His silky voice telling her in soothing tones, that she was going to the dungeons so he could keep an eye on her while doing his work.
The familiar smell of the dungeons was strangely comforting to Hermione as Severus set her on a lounge chair. She couldn't stop the smile that lit her face when he tucked a pillow behind her head and wrapped a thick woolen blanket around her body, he reminded her of a mother hen, which wasn't something she had even expected from her cold, aloof Potions professor. She relaxed into the cozy nest he had created for her and contented herself with listening to the sounds of simmering potions, trying to picture in her mind the long agile fingers moving in fluid motions, chopping, crushing and adding ingredients with precision born of long hours practice.
Severus was having a hard time concentrating on his potions that day. Hermione lay quietly on the lounge he had set her on, her eyes closed, seemingly fine, but he found himself moving to check on her every couple of minutes. Finally he gave up getting any quality brewing done that morning and summoned his assistant to the dungeon.
~
"Mister Creevey," Hermione jumped at the cold harsh tone that had shattered the comfortable quiet of the dungeons, "very nice of you to drop by."
"I'm sorry Professor Snape, sir." Colin said quickly, "I was restocking the infirmary for Madame Pomfry sir." He would probably have continued to give excuses for his tardiness had Snape not interrupted him with a hostile glare.
"Silence, Mister Creevy, is something you must achieve if you are to be of any use to me at all this summer." Snape's voice was dangerously low, a sure sign he had already lost all patience.
Hermione, feeling sure her headache would return full force if she had to listen to another one of Severus Snape's lectures, reached for her pain relieving potion, accidentally knocking it to the dungeon floor where it broke with a resounding crash.
At the sound of the breaking flask Severus whirled away from his troublesome Gryffindor assistant and hurried to his patient's side. Seeing pain in the set of Hermione's shoulders he told Colin to bring him some pain relief potion immediately and reached for her hand. He rubbed it gently, marveling at how small and soft it felt. "Is it as bad as before?" he asked gently, concern evident in his tone.
Hermione shook her head slowly, the pain was their definitely, a dull throbbing at the base of her skull that made her want to vomit, but it wasn't nearly as sharp as it had been the night before. She heard the gentle slaps of shoes against the stone floor and heard the Professor thank his assistant for the potion. The flask felt cold against her lips, but she swallowed its bitter contents obediently.
Severus watched her swallow and sighed in relief when he saw he small shoulders relax once again. When he was sure her pain was gone he squeezed her hand lightly and stood to deal with Colin. "Miss Granger is going to be with us for a while Mister Creevy, and because of this I will be unable to brew most of the potions needed to keep the infirmary running. I have my doubts about your competency, but unless you prove to be even worse than I think you are, which is highly unlikely, you will be the one brewing these potions. I will of course be on hand at all times to supervise you and answer your questions. I only ask one thing, that you work as silently as is possible, so you won't disturb Miss Granger's healing. Do you understand?"
Colin stared open mouthed at his professor. He had never heard him speak so civilly to anyone, and to be trusted with the brewing of the potions being used in the infirmary was such an honor he found himself unable to form words. "Th-thank you sir." He finally managed. "Which potions should I start with then?" he smiled inwardly, proud of himself for forming such an intelligent question.
"There is a list of which potions need brewing as well as the amount of each that is needed on my desk, you may start where ever on that list you like, and I will allow you to work at your own pace as long as you complete the entire list in a reasonable time frame, will that work for you?" Severus smirked at the look of shock on the young Gryffindor's face. "Well, get to it then." he said, turning back to where Hermione lay on the lounge, smiling.
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A/N: I'm not entirely sure about this chapter. the dialogue at the end feels stilted to me. so PELASE tell me if you have ANY suggestions to make it better! THANK YOU!!!
Special thanks to Jeff, Kia Sara, Melon, Nimrowdel, Aegina, and RE16 for reviewing the first chapter!! You guys made my day!!! Thank you SO much!
And of course:
PLEASE REVIEW!!!