Me: COOL! People liked the violence last chapter!
Phoenix: I can't believe you shot me!
Me: You were annoying. Now review reviews please.
Phoenix: Fine.
Dash142: Eagle: RUN AWAY! (Uses Lightning Strike and runs far, far away from you.) Me: YO! Don't kill the characters! You need them to play Advance Wars! Oh, and Grit and Sonja are just allies. Andy and Sonja, however, like each other.
Naval Ace: COOL! I'm on another favorites list! And to be honest with you, I've never watched the Jerry Springer show, so I can't compare your comments with my story. But thanks for them anyway! UPDATE YOUR STORY SOON!
KrOnIkâSpOoN: Thanks for the suggestion! I may use it when I start interviewing Green Earth.
Me: Ok! Time to interview Sami!
Phoenix: You mean the hot infantry girl?
Me: Yes, the same one. (Notices glint in Phoenix's eyes.) DOWN BOY! BAD THOUGHTS!
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or dash142, who will make an appearance in this fic.
Chapter 3: Sami
{Scene opens up to a stage overlooking the Orange Star capital, with two ratty couches and a badly smudged coffee table.}
Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! Welcome to our violent show, ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!
{Hesitant clapping, since the audience is looking at the atrocious furniture.}
Announcer: Now put your knives, I mean hands together for that trigger- happy author, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!
{Clapping, a few cheers from faithful reviewers. I walk out very disgruntled.}
Me: HEY! You want to start something with me? I have Grit's gun!
Announcer: HAH! You can't shoot the broad side of a
BANG!
Announcer: ACK! MY SPLEEN!
Me: I warned you. Anyway, welcome to our show, Advance Wars Interviews. I'm your host, and yes, the furniture is all discounts from Colin.
{Audience finally understands and stops glancing at the furniture.}
Me: I really need to start buying from Hachi. Anyway, put your hands together for that hot infantry-specialist, chocolate loving girl,
{From behind curtain.}
???: CHOCOLATE! Where is it? Must have chocolate!
Me: No Sami! No chocolate! Anyway, put your hands together for SAMI!
{Lots of clapping, and lots of wolf-whistles from the guys. Sami comes out with gun raised and a mad glint in her eye}
Sami: NOBODY MOVE! Give me all your chocolate and no one gets shot!
{Everybody freezes. I try to calm Sami down.}
Me: Sami! Calm down. LOOK! CHOCOLATE!
{Sami drops her gun. I hastily toss it to the guards.}
Sami: CHOCOLATE! Where?
{I drop a few bars on the couch.}
Me: On the couch Sami!
{She notices them and dives onto the couch snarfing them down. The audience looks on in disgust.}
Me: Now Sami, can we get on with the interview?
{She finishes chocolate.}
Sami: Of course! Fire away.
Me: Ok, first, why do you like chocolate so much?
Sami: Besides the fact that it tastes good and is good for you?
Me: Yeah, tell me how this got started.
Sami: Well, when I was really young, I ate only chocolate and milk. I think my mom gave it to me one day, and I just couldn't stop loving that sweet.
Audience: OH!
Me: AH! So THAT'S how it started! Recording right?
{Cameraman gives thumbs up.}
Me: Good. Now Sami, why did you join the army?
Sami: Well, one day my dad noticed me doing a typical hunt for chocolate and he thought that if I employed that kind of strategy into the army, I could rise up the ranks and be able to protect Orange Star!
Me: So that's why! Ok, now final question, what is going on between Eagle and you?
Sami: Well, we are planning to go on a date tomorrow night to see the Orange Star Falls! Isn't it romantic?
{I'm about to reply when a random audience member in seat 142, A.K.A. dash142, stands up.}
Dash142: SAMI! DON'T GO WITH EAGLE! HE PLANS TO RAPE THEN MURDER YOU AT THE FALLS! Be with me! And together, we will be happy!
{Everyone is frozen and their eyes are bulging because of that statement, Sami's especially. Guard comes from behind with gun raised. Dash142 notices this however.}
Dash142: DIE MORTAL SCUM!
{Dash142 takes out his sword and slashes at the guard. He misses but instead hits Sami's gun and cleaves it in two. The two pieces fall at Sami's feet.
Sami: My gun. That was my first and most treasured AK-47.
{Dash142 now knows he's in a heap of trouble.}
Dash142: Um, I, I can fix that. I hope.
Sami: DIIEE!
{Sami pounces on dash142 and starts beating the living snot out of the poor fool.}
BAM! WHAM! PUNCH! KICK!
Dash142: AH! MY KIDNEY! HAVE MERCY RED-HAIRED GODDESS! OW!
Me: TURN OFF THAT CAMERA!
{Screen now shows a white background with black words that say, "Please stand by."}
Really Nerdy Sounding Voice: Um, hello? Yes, well, I'm in the maintenance department, and I was called here because the announcer was in the hospital because of a spleen problem. So, I guess it's my duty to say, um, we are experiencing some technical difficulties. And I was wondering if you could, you know, please stand by! Heh, I always wanted to say that. Please stand by, thank you.
{Screen comes back to the stage, were dash142 is being hauled away into an ambulance and Sami is snarfing down some chocolate. I'm nowhere to be seen.}
Really Nerdy Sounding Voice: Um, hello again. Um, the announcer guy still isn't here so, I guess I'll finish this up. Um, dash142 is in critical condition now, Sami is eating chocolate, and Master of the Phoenix is crying in his dressing room. Glad we are, heh, recording that. Anyway, um, thank you for watching Advance Wars Interviews! Heh, I could make a career out of this. Thank you.
{Screen fades out.}
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)
Phoenix: HAH HAH HAH! THAT WAS SO FUNNY! Especially when dash142 got the snot beat out of him.
Me: Hoped you liked that dash142. And to the others,
Both: REVIEW PLEASE!
Phoenix: I can't believe you shot me!
Me: You were annoying. Now review reviews please.
Phoenix: Fine.
Dash142: Eagle: RUN AWAY! (Uses Lightning Strike and runs far, far away from you.) Me: YO! Don't kill the characters! You need them to play Advance Wars! Oh, and Grit and Sonja are just allies. Andy and Sonja, however, like each other.
Naval Ace: COOL! I'm on another favorites list! And to be honest with you, I've never watched the Jerry Springer show, so I can't compare your comments with my story. But thanks for them anyway! UPDATE YOUR STORY SOON!
KrOnIkâSpOoN: Thanks for the suggestion! I may use it when I start interviewing Green Earth.
Me: Ok! Time to interview Sami!
Phoenix: You mean the hot infantry girl?
Me: Yes, the same one. (Notices glint in Phoenix's eyes.) DOWN BOY! BAD THOUGHTS!
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or dash142, who will make an appearance in this fic.
Chapter 3: Sami
{Scene opens up to a stage overlooking the Orange Star capital, with two ratty couches and a badly smudged coffee table.}
Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! Welcome to our violent show, ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!
{Hesitant clapping, since the audience is looking at the atrocious furniture.}
Announcer: Now put your knives, I mean hands together for that trigger- happy author, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!
{Clapping, a few cheers from faithful reviewers. I walk out very disgruntled.}
Me: HEY! You want to start something with me? I have Grit's gun!
Announcer: HAH! You can't shoot the broad side of a
BANG!
Announcer: ACK! MY SPLEEN!
Me: I warned you. Anyway, welcome to our show, Advance Wars Interviews. I'm your host, and yes, the furniture is all discounts from Colin.
{Audience finally understands and stops glancing at the furniture.}
Me: I really need to start buying from Hachi. Anyway, put your hands together for that hot infantry-specialist, chocolate loving girl,
{From behind curtain.}
???: CHOCOLATE! Where is it? Must have chocolate!
Me: No Sami! No chocolate! Anyway, put your hands together for SAMI!
{Lots of clapping, and lots of wolf-whistles from the guys. Sami comes out with gun raised and a mad glint in her eye}
Sami: NOBODY MOVE! Give me all your chocolate and no one gets shot!
{Everybody freezes. I try to calm Sami down.}
Me: Sami! Calm down. LOOK! CHOCOLATE!
{Sami drops her gun. I hastily toss it to the guards.}
Sami: CHOCOLATE! Where?
{I drop a few bars on the couch.}
Me: On the couch Sami!
{She notices them and dives onto the couch snarfing them down. The audience looks on in disgust.}
Me: Now Sami, can we get on with the interview?
{She finishes chocolate.}
Sami: Of course! Fire away.
Me: Ok, first, why do you like chocolate so much?
Sami: Besides the fact that it tastes good and is good for you?
Me: Yeah, tell me how this got started.
Sami: Well, when I was really young, I ate only chocolate and milk. I think my mom gave it to me one day, and I just couldn't stop loving that sweet.
Audience: OH!
Me: AH! So THAT'S how it started! Recording right?
{Cameraman gives thumbs up.}
Me: Good. Now Sami, why did you join the army?
Sami: Well, one day my dad noticed me doing a typical hunt for chocolate and he thought that if I employed that kind of strategy into the army, I could rise up the ranks and be able to protect Orange Star!
Me: So that's why! Ok, now final question, what is going on between Eagle and you?
Sami: Well, we are planning to go on a date tomorrow night to see the Orange Star Falls! Isn't it romantic?
{I'm about to reply when a random audience member in seat 142, A.K.A. dash142, stands up.}
Dash142: SAMI! DON'T GO WITH EAGLE! HE PLANS TO RAPE THEN MURDER YOU AT THE FALLS! Be with me! And together, we will be happy!
{Everyone is frozen and their eyes are bulging because of that statement, Sami's especially. Guard comes from behind with gun raised. Dash142 notices this however.}
Dash142: DIE MORTAL SCUM!
{Dash142 takes out his sword and slashes at the guard. He misses but instead hits Sami's gun and cleaves it in two. The two pieces fall at Sami's feet.
Sami: My gun. That was my first and most treasured AK-47.
{Dash142 now knows he's in a heap of trouble.}
Dash142: Um, I, I can fix that. I hope.
Sami: DIIEE!
{Sami pounces on dash142 and starts beating the living snot out of the poor fool.}
BAM! WHAM! PUNCH! KICK!
Dash142: AH! MY KIDNEY! HAVE MERCY RED-HAIRED GODDESS! OW!
Me: TURN OFF THAT CAMERA!
{Screen now shows a white background with black words that say, "Please stand by."}
Really Nerdy Sounding Voice: Um, hello? Yes, well, I'm in the maintenance department, and I was called here because the announcer was in the hospital because of a spleen problem. So, I guess it's my duty to say, um, we are experiencing some technical difficulties. And I was wondering if you could, you know, please stand by! Heh, I always wanted to say that. Please stand by, thank you.
{Screen comes back to the stage, were dash142 is being hauled away into an ambulance and Sami is snarfing down some chocolate. I'm nowhere to be seen.}
Really Nerdy Sounding Voice: Um, hello again. Um, the announcer guy still isn't here so, I guess I'll finish this up. Um, dash142 is in critical condition now, Sami is eating chocolate, and Master of the Phoenix is crying in his dressing room. Glad we are, heh, recording that. Anyway, um, thank you for watching Advance Wars Interviews! Heh, I could make a career out of this. Thank you.
{Screen fades out.}
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)
Phoenix: HAH HAH HAH! THAT WAS SO FUNNY! Especially when dash142 got the snot beat out of him.
Me: Hoped you liked that dash142. And to the others,
Both: REVIEW PLEASE!