Author's Note: I want to thank everyone for their feedback. I was a little worried that changing POV such as this would not go over well. It's been an interesting challenge in writing. Thanks for the continued reviews and support. This story is, as I was rather afraid it would, becoming longer than I originally thought. This chapter alone was over 2000 words! I was surprised when the word count gave me such a high figure as I thought it was half that. But, I'm not one to force a story and ruin it by rushing through, so pardon the length!

Chapter 4

Possibilities

I stood up, stretching my arms as wide as possible, trying to dislodge the deep ache that had settled in my muscles from being still for to long of a time. Ensign Sato and I had worked on the document for three hours, two more than I had thought we'd need.

After we had gotten started and realized it would take much longer than anticipated, I had sent the rest of the Enterprise crew off to see the Fountain of Forever. After I suggested this to Captain Archer, I noticed Ensign Sato seemed disappointed. I reassured her that she could have her own personal tour of the city tomorrow, which cheered her back to her sunny disposition.

"Thank you for your time Ensign Sato. You are a very quick study with languages." Her talent and scholarship impressed me.

She smiled, "Thank you President. Your language is very beautiful."

I had never thought of a language as something of beauty before. I looked at the time and was surprised to see how late it was. "I expect your Captain and the others should be back, would you like to go find them?"

She would, so we left in search of their group. The trip to the Fountain should have been an hour. We heard voices rumbling in the main lobby. Since it was after hours I knew it was the Captain and his crew.

"I'm returning your Ensign Captain, she's brilliant."

Archer and the other's greeted Hoshi, "It's why I picked her Tam. She's the best at what she does."

"How did you like the Fountain?" It really was something after sunset.

They had fallen quiet. I studied them, and realized they were remembering their trip to the Fountain. I guess I should've warned them. The Fountain of Forever affected people that way. You left and never were quite the same.

"It was...ethereal." T'Pol spoke. "Your people have an ability to create emotional works of art."

I knew what she meant. Every time I took a pilgrimage, I spent the following week in contemplation of my life, my past, and my future.

"What do the silver discs represent?" Archer asked.

The silver discs were everywhere in the Fountain; in the water, in the spouts, in the stone ground. "Every disc is a citizen of Aegis One."

Commander Tucker whistled, "Is it placed in the Fountain at birth?"

I shook my head, "No, when you die, a ceremony is held, and your disc installed at the Fountain. It is how it got its name."

"The Fountain of Forever." Lieutenant Reed said.

"There were a great number of discs." T'Pol observed.

Conversation dwindled. It was getting late and Mary expected me home hours ago.

"You must be tired...."

"We should go..."

Archer and I began together, and stopped awkwardly.

"You first." Archer said.

"I was only wondering if you weren't ready to return to Enterprise? You could stay here, if you wished, we have guest quarters?" I had gotten the impression they would prefer to return to Enterprise, though I wasn't sure how or where that had come from.

"It is late. Thank you for your offer but we should get back." Archer held the translated papers that Ensign Sato had given him, "And we'll need to go over this information."

"I'll see you to your shuttle."

It wasn't a long trip to the space pad, a short walk from the government building. We walked in mostly silence. Occasionally we passed other Aegians out for an evening constitution. It seemed news of the Enterprise had spread as many greeted us expansively, and stared an inordinate amount of time at the spacemen.

"Here we are." I gestured to their shuttle gleaming silver in the luminescent moonlight.

I noticed that Archer and the others had amused smiles. "Your people are very excited to meet us." Archer said.

That was why they were smiling. Some of my people had carried on a little too much, but they were as passionate as anyone and their perspectives untainted by the tragic news that kept my spirits dampened.

"We are an eager race."

"Not so unlike mine." Archer said. I liked the comparison.

"Will you call tomorrow? When you are ready." I didn't want to push but yesterday would be too soon for me to have answers for our dilemma, either way. To have hope, or to prepare for the worst...this limbo of not knowing was harder than I had thought it would be.

"We will be in touch." T'Pol informed me. She seemed empathetic to my situation, something I appreciated very much.

I smiled, "Good Night then. Safe trip."

They offered goodbyes and trundled into their shuttle. I stood a safe distance back and watched it lift off with all the grace of a bird in flight, and disappear into the sky, eventually winking out and becoming unidentifiable from all the other flickering stars overhead.

I sighed, turned and headed back to the office. Now that the day was over, the weight of my world quiet literally descended upon my shoulders. I was very sad and almost a little angry. Today had been quite a day- a day that had brought such promise to my world, a world that wouldn't be here to reap the seeds of such promise. I sighed again. It was time to go home.

"Jak didn't show for work this morning."

I was startled by Sam's words. Lost in thought, I hadn't heard him enter my office. Being the old friend he was, he had no need to knock or have a formal announcement from Sara.

"Have you called?"

Sam nodded, "No answer. I'm thinking of going round to his place and checking on him."

That was probably a good idea. Jak was high-strung, prone to swings of emotion. It was unfortunate that of all the people who could have seen the information, he did.

"Do that. Let me know."

Sam nodded again, and left as quickly as he arrived.

Now I was worried. Jak was a friend. Not so much as Sam, but we had known each other for a long time. Another weight of worry settled on my shoulders.

I made my way into Sara's area. I needed to be near other people. "Any new forms for me?"

She looked at me like I had grown another head. I normally didn't like paperwork, and being President I had a lot of paperwork to handle every day. It wasn't so much that I minded the papers; it was the politics involved in the papers that gave me a headache.

"Are you okay? You've seemed...off." Sara was watching me closely.

Suddenly I wished I had stayed in the office. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Never mind about the forms. When the Enterprise calls, come and get me. I'll be in my office." And I turned on my heels; robes swishing with the sudden movement, and all but ran back into the privacy it offered. I really needed to work on hiding my emotions.

I watched the shuttle bank and hover, before gracefully dropping to the pad. Enterprise had called shortly after I hid in my office. It was all I could do to contain my excitement. I hoped to have good news. I was placing a lot of faith in these spacemen, but everything I had seen up to now indicated my faith was well placed.

The hatch opened and Captain Archer appeared, straightening his tall form as he exited. He must be tall for his race. It didn't seem to make sense to create a door that none of your people properly fit through. Sub- Commander T'Pol, Commander Tucker and Ensign Sato followed. I was happy to see they had returned. I had only known them a short while but all ready I was fond of them.

"Welcome back Captain!" I offered my hand mimicking Commander Tucker's greeting from yesterday with my Chief Gardener.

He seemed surprised but delighted, he took my hand and shook it vigorously. He had a strong grip.

"Good Morning Tam."

I greeted the others in turn and then indicated them to follow me. We'd return to my office and talk there, where others couldn't overhear our conversation. I had asked Sara to bring extra chairs so everyone would have a place to sit.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked, making polite conversation.

"Very." Archer answered. "You?"

I paled. I had slept badly, tossing and turning all night long. Mary had finally told me to go sleep in the other room. I should've done so without being asked. It had been rude to keep her up with me.

"I'm sorry. That was thoughtless of me." Archer grimaced.

"No, I'm sorry Captain. This isn't your fault...quite the opposite."

We fell into an uneasy quiet that remained until we were settled in my office. I had arranged for Ensign Sato to leave for her promised tour with my Chief of Media Services. I had talked with her earlier this morning and learned they had gotten along very well. I thought the Ensign would enjoy the company. I gestured to the chairs, "Please, sit." I waited until they were ensconced comfortably before sitting myself.

"We looked..."

"Did you get..."

Archer and I had done it again. This time we laughed. "I'm sorry, you go first this time." I said.

"We looked at the information you gave us. We think we may have a solution."

Even though I had placed faith in these strangers, even though I had hoped, the knowledge that they might be able to help hit me like a physical blow.

"Tam?" Commander Tucker came out of his seat. I must have reflected the shock I felt in my physical self. I probably looked frightful.

"I'm fine." I waved him back down in his chair, "I just..." my voice cracked. "My world...to think of it gone, and then you arrive and we have a second chance."

T'Pol squirmed in her seat. I hadn't meant to show such strong emotion, but I was tired and fatigue saps social restraints. "I apologize."

T'Pol lifted an eyebrow at me, "That is unnecessary President. To react otherwise would be...illogical."

I laughed then, out loud and without restraint. Illogical. "Yes...it would be." I realized I had derailed the conversation, "Please continue."

"We believe an explosion on the surface would be sufficient to alter its course a safe distance from your planet." T'Pol explained. "Enterprise has the weapons capabilities...and the asteroid is a significant distance away that there is time."

I imagined that would be an amazing sight to behold. Our craft wouldn't be capable of the trip.

"Would you like to see it?" Archer offered, interpreting my thoughts. "Your Chief of Space Control could also come."

I didn't have to think about it, I wanted to go. I had never been in space. I had watched many go, but never myself. "I would like that." I said. "When would you wish to leave?"

"Now?"

I needed to find Sam. He had left earlier to check on Jak. He was probably in his office by now, or roaming the lab where the work on the new engine was progressing. I was about to explain when the object of my thoughts knocked at my door.

"Sam!" I greeted, relieved I wouldn't have to search for him.

Sam didn't smile back, "Tam, I need to speak with you."

I looked at him, confused. "If you'll excuse me?"

I hurried into the reception area, "What is it? They've offered us a trip in their spaceship."

Sam's eyes were puffy and red, almost as if he had been crying. Jak...something had happened. I knew it; as sure as I knew the sun would rise in the morning. "What happened?" I asked, a sick feeling settling in my belly.

"He killed himself."

I wanted to throw up. Suicide. It was almost unheard of in our culture. The only recorded cases were in the mentally ill. Jak hadn't been mentally ill. "Did you find him?"

Sam had. I could tell by looking at him, I didn't need to hear his answer, "I'm so sorry. I should've gone with you."

"You didn't know."

"What did you do? Did you call the medics?" I asked.

"Yes...but it was too late. His disc is empty."

And then I wanted to cry. Every Aegian's disc was their legacy to leave. "I want it placed in the Fountain anyway." I could barely speak for the ache growing inside, my voice thick and nasally.

Sam nodded miserably. "This is our fault."

I agreed. We should've known this would be too much for him to deal with. We should've kept a close eye on him, not sent him home to dwell on what he had seen. Regret wasn't an emotion I was used to feeling. "I know."

"Tam?"

I twisted around. Archer was standing behind us, uncomfortable, knowing he had interrupted something personal. "I'm sorry but we need to go. T'Pol said there's a window where the mission is most likely to succeed. If we don't leave soon, we'll miss it."

I blinked, trying to dispel the small amount of moisture that had worked its way out despite my best efforts to prevent it. I hated being so emotionally weak. I wished I had the ability to hide them better.

"I understand." I turned back to Sam, "They have a trip they wish us to accompany them on." I didn't need to add what the trip was for. Sam understood the unspoken message. The spacemen had a solution. I could see Sam tasted the same bitterness as I. This knowledge twenty-four hours ago would have seen Jak still alive and at work. I knew it would be a long time before I stopped feeling guilty for the loss of my friend's life.

"I would like that." Sam said, somewhat shaky, but now that we were in the presence of someone else he was gaining control as rapidly as I was.

"Did something happen?" Archer asked, staring at Sam's puffy face and my devastated one. I suppose it was pretty clear something had.

"A good friend of ours died this morning."

"I'm sorry to hear that." He apologized.

I was tired of our conversations being full of so many apologies. He was the least at fault, but he was offering his condolences and I appreciated that. "Thank you."

I drew a deep breath; it was time to get going. I saw Sara watching us carefully, under lidded eyes, pretending to study documents in front of her. "Sara, could you see to the arrangements for Jak?" I wondered when to schedule his disc installment ceremony. "Captin, when will we return?"

Archer frowned, "Hang on...T'Pol?" He called back towards the office. T'Pol emerged, followed by Commander Tucker. "When would we back if everything goes as planned?" He kept it vague, knowing as I did that Sara was hanging on every word.

"A day...perhaps, no more than two." She said. "There are certain variables that influence the exact timing Captain."

"Schedule it for...two days from now." I instructed Sara. I probably should have said three, but it was uncommon for the ceremony to be held past the first day. It was stretching our customs to wait two full days, let alone three. It wasn't as if I could share the reason for waiting with the public.

"I think we are ready, Sara delegate any immediate needs to Garrett, he should do fine." Garrett was my back-up support. He usually worked across the city, but he had been on personal leave after the birth of his first child. I hoped there weren't any immediate needs to pull him away from his family while I was gone. I was going to see the stars.