Me: Cool! People still like the violence.
Phoenix: Well, humans are violent people.
Me: And just what are you then?
Phoenix: I'm an elf who has been spending too much time with a human.
Me: True, now review reviews.
Phoenix: Whatever.
Dash142: I'm sorry, but it is your fault that you got beaten up by Sami. I'll donate some money to you. (Which is approximately $142.03)
Naval Ace: So that was YOUR AK-47! I thought it looked Russian! LOL! And sure! I'll put you in Drake's interview! (Though try and remind me when I get to Green Earth. I have a bad memory for non-important stuff.)
KrOnIk-SpOoN: Actually, I'll do Blue Moon AFTER Nell and Hachi. I need to do all characters anyway. Thanks for the suggestions and WHAT?! Grit's getting ANOTHER GUN?! Well, I'll just go to a Wall-Mart myself and get TWO 12 Gauge guns. I'll give Grit's gun to you, when I finish with it.
Me: Well, time to interview Nell!
Phoenix: Oh joy, Miss Lucky.
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or it's characters.
Chapter 4: Nell
{We see a stage overlooking the Orange Star capital with two ratty orange couches and a smudged coffee table.}
Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Welcome to that high-rated show we know and hate, ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!
{Clapping and cheering.}
Announcer: Now put your hands together and guns at ready for that author, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!
{Clapping. Loud cheering coming from three fans. I walk out with Grit's gun raised.}
Me: Don't make me shoot you man!
Announcer: You wouldn't dare! I'm the only announcer you can get!
BANG!
{I fire and almost hit the loudmouth's head}
Me: I still have the maintenance department guy!
Announcer: On second thought, I think you're a great author!
Me: That's better. Anyway, HELLO! And welcome to the Advance Wars Interviews! Now put your hands together for that lucky girl, the commander in chief of Orange Star,
Max: YEAH! NELL BABY COME TO ME!
Grit: HEY! Don't think she's just going to walk out and choose you!
Me: SHUT UP!
{I raise the gun and start theatning.}
Me: I am NOT going to put up with your stupid fighting! Now SIT DOWN!
Grit: Son, you couldn't shoot me even if I was standing still.
BANG!
{I shoot the cigarette out of Grit's mouth.}
Me: No smoking.
{While eyeing me, Max and Grit quietly sit down.}
Me: Anyway, put your hands together for NELL!
{She walks out looking oh so perfect and lucky. Max and Grit are cheering like their lives depended on it.}
Nell: Hello everyone! Want to sign up for Orange Star? If you do, I will guide your way to victory.
{Of course, almost every guy in the room stands up. I am getting frustrated.}
Me: Nell?
Nell: Yes?
Me: Kindly advertise IN ANOTHER SUDIO! NOW SIT DOWN!
{Nell is almost scared to death and immediately sits down. I take deep breaths and then sit down.}
Me: Now, first question. How did you become commander in chief of Orange Star?
Nell: I was born under a lucky star, and my luck seemed to spread among the troops, winning me many battles and rising up the ranks. Also, Hachi was making interesting deals and that also helped me.
{Being the stupid, curious fool I am, I ask.}
Me: What sort of interesting deals?
Nell: Well, I don't know how to put this but uh,
{I suddenly realize what KIND of deals she and Hachi made. Yes, I am a slight pervert, but who isn't?!}
Me: THANK YOU NELL! That was PLENTY of information!
{Audience doesn't understand, but then again, only fools would WANT to watch this show.}
Me: Second question, why are you always cheerful?
Nell: Well, I was born under a lucky star of course!
Me: FORGET THE STUPID STAR! What ELSE makes you cheerful?
Nell: Well, lucky and successful cadets!
{I slap my forehead in frustration, knowing this question is pointless.}
Me: Ok, thank you Nell. Now final question, who do you think you're going to choose to be your, ahem, mate?
{Max and Grit look on eagerly.}
Nell: Um, well, this is so hard.
Max: COME ON NELL! PICK ME!
Grit: FORGET OLE MAXIE PICK ME!
{Without even looking at them I raise my gun and shoot the ceiling, making them sit down quietly.}
Me: Continue Nell.
Nell: Well, to be honest, I always thought Hawke looked kind of sexy, so I'm going with him!
Audience: HUH?!
Grit and Max: HUH?!
Me: HUH?!
Hawke: What?
{Everyone is so surprised. Grit and Max slowly turn towards Hawke, Hawke gives them an "I dare you to cross the line" look. Then Grit and Max pounce upon Hawke and try to pummel him. Hawke fans come to the rescue and start pummeling Max and Grit. Grit and Max lovers join in the battle and chaos reigns.}
BAM! BAM! WHACK! SMACK! POKE! PUNCH! KICK!
Me; EVERYBODY STOP!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
{I shoot the ceiling but nobody responds. By now, the ceiling is a little damaged. I look up to see the damage I've done and notice the whole ceiling is cracking.}
Me: Oh no.
{Somehow, everybody hears that and look up, and notice the ceiling is about to crash on their heads.}
Everyone: AHHHH!
{Everyone runs away, the ceiling comes crashing down and the stage is ruined. Only Nell is standing in the middle of the stage, and she is untouched.}
Nell: I love being lucky!
{Then a random piece comes crashing down on her head and she is knocked unconscious.}
Announcer: COUGH! COUGH! Um, this is cough! Advance Wars Interviews saying cough! Goodbye.
{Announcer faints from lack of air in his lungs. Screen fades out.}
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)
Me: Well, I just destroyed the stage.
Phoenix: HAH! YOU SUCK! HAH! HAH!
Me: Shut, up. Anyway, I'm taking a small break for one day so I will update in two days! That ok?
Phoenix: Well, you know what to do!
Both: REVIEW PLEASE!
Phoenix: Well, humans are violent people.
Me: And just what are you then?
Phoenix: I'm an elf who has been spending too much time with a human.
Me: True, now review reviews.
Phoenix: Whatever.
Dash142: I'm sorry, but it is your fault that you got beaten up by Sami. I'll donate some money to you. (Which is approximately $142.03)
Naval Ace: So that was YOUR AK-47! I thought it looked Russian! LOL! And sure! I'll put you in Drake's interview! (Though try and remind me when I get to Green Earth. I have a bad memory for non-important stuff.)
KrOnIk-SpOoN: Actually, I'll do Blue Moon AFTER Nell and Hachi. I need to do all characters anyway. Thanks for the suggestions and WHAT?! Grit's getting ANOTHER GUN?! Well, I'll just go to a Wall-Mart myself and get TWO 12 Gauge guns. I'll give Grit's gun to you, when I finish with it.
Me: Well, time to interview Nell!
Phoenix: Oh joy, Miss Lucky.
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or it's characters.
Chapter 4: Nell
{We see a stage overlooking the Orange Star capital with two ratty orange couches and a smudged coffee table.}
Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Welcome to that high-rated show we know and hate, ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!
{Clapping and cheering.}
Announcer: Now put your hands together and guns at ready for that author, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!
{Clapping. Loud cheering coming from three fans. I walk out with Grit's gun raised.}
Me: Don't make me shoot you man!
Announcer: You wouldn't dare! I'm the only announcer you can get!
BANG!
{I fire and almost hit the loudmouth's head}
Me: I still have the maintenance department guy!
Announcer: On second thought, I think you're a great author!
Me: That's better. Anyway, HELLO! And welcome to the Advance Wars Interviews! Now put your hands together for that lucky girl, the commander in chief of Orange Star,
Max: YEAH! NELL BABY COME TO ME!
Grit: HEY! Don't think she's just going to walk out and choose you!
Me: SHUT UP!
{I raise the gun and start theatning.}
Me: I am NOT going to put up with your stupid fighting! Now SIT DOWN!
Grit: Son, you couldn't shoot me even if I was standing still.
BANG!
{I shoot the cigarette out of Grit's mouth.}
Me: No smoking.
{While eyeing me, Max and Grit quietly sit down.}
Me: Anyway, put your hands together for NELL!
{She walks out looking oh so perfect and lucky. Max and Grit are cheering like their lives depended on it.}
Nell: Hello everyone! Want to sign up for Orange Star? If you do, I will guide your way to victory.
{Of course, almost every guy in the room stands up. I am getting frustrated.}
Me: Nell?
Nell: Yes?
Me: Kindly advertise IN ANOTHER SUDIO! NOW SIT DOWN!
{Nell is almost scared to death and immediately sits down. I take deep breaths and then sit down.}
Me: Now, first question. How did you become commander in chief of Orange Star?
Nell: I was born under a lucky star, and my luck seemed to spread among the troops, winning me many battles and rising up the ranks. Also, Hachi was making interesting deals and that also helped me.
{Being the stupid, curious fool I am, I ask.}
Me: What sort of interesting deals?
Nell: Well, I don't know how to put this but uh,
{I suddenly realize what KIND of deals she and Hachi made. Yes, I am a slight pervert, but who isn't?!}
Me: THANK YOU NELL! That was PLENTY of information!
{Audience doesn't understand, but then again, only fools would WANT to watch this show.}
Me: Second question, why are you always cheerful?
Nell: Well, I was born under a lucky star of course!
Me: FORGET THE STUPID STAR! What ELSE makes you cheerful?
Nell: Well, lucky and successful cadets!
{I slap my forehead in frustration, knowing this question is pointless.}
Me: Ok, thank you Nell. Now final question, who do you think you're going to choose to be your, ahem, mate?
{Max and Grit look on eagerly.}
Nell: Um, well, this is so hard.
Max: COME ON NELL! PICK ME!
Grit: FORGET OLE MAXIE PICK ME!
{Without even looking at them I raise my gun and shoot the ceiling, making them sit down quietly.}
Me: Continue Nell.
Nell: Well, to be honest, I always thought Hawke looked kind of sexy, so I'm going with him!
Audience: HUH?!
Grit and Max: HUH?!
Me: HUH?!
Hawke: What?
{Everyone is so surprised. Grit and Max slowly turn towards Hawke, Hawke gives them an "I dare you to cross the line" look. Then Grit and Max pounce upon Hawke and try to pummel him. Hawke fans come to the rescue and start pummeling Max and Grit. Grit and Max lovers join in the battle and chaos reigns.}
BAM! BAM! WHACK! SMACK! POKE! PUNCH! KICK!
Me; EVERYBODY STOP!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
{I shoot the ceiling but nobody responds. By now, the ceiling is a little damaged. I look up to see the damage I've done and notice the whole ceiling is cracking.}
Me: Oh no.
{Somehow, everybody hears that and look up, and notice the ceiling is about to crash on their heads.}
Everyone: AHHHH!
{Everyone runs away, the ceiling comes crashing down and the stage is ruined. Only Nell is standing in the middle of the stage, and she is untouched.}
Nell: I love being lucky!
{Then a random piece comes crashing down on her head and she is knocked unconscious.}
Announcer: COUGH! COUGH! Um, this is cough! Advance Wars Interviews saying cough! Goodbye.
{Announcer faints from lack of air in his lungs. Screen fades out.}
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)
Me: Well, I just destroyed the stage.
Phoenix: HAH! YOU SUCK! HAH! HAH!
Me: Shut, up. Anyway, I'm taking a small break for one day so I will update in two days! That ok?
Phoenix: Well, you know what to do!
Both: REVIEW PLEASE!