Chapter 5
A/N: Thank you everyone for your patience.
Hermione groaned inwardly. He was most definitely right about this not being what she had wanted, but she supposed it was better than nothing. She ran her fingers tentatively over the cover of one book. The slippery cover's smooth surface was broken by small protruding circles which Hermione explored with her fingers tracing out a pattern. She wasn't sure how Snape expected her to understand the brail without some sort of key, regardless of the difficulty she refused to stoop so low as to ask him. He may not be the epitome of fairness, but he was a good teacher. There had to be a method.
The morning passed quietly for both Severus and his patient. Hermione spent several hours studying the primer book before falling into an exhausted slumber and Severus was able to get caught up on the work he had abandoned in the earlier days of nursing Hermione, though his work was not without distraction. He didn't seem to be able to work for more than twenty minutes without checking on Hermione. She seemed to be struggling with the new language and he realized he may have overestimated her ability to pick up this new skill. He would have to spend some time with her and teach her the letters. If she knew the individual letters she could puzzle out the rest for herself, but it wasn't fair to expect her to puzzle out the entire language by herself. He spent the afternoon puzzling over his dilemma. He had been an imbecile to simply give her the books to puzzle out, because now he wouldn't be able to help her without giving her the mistaken impression that she had failed somehow.
Of course! The solution was so blatantly obvious Severus could have smacked himself for not coming up with it sooner. Obviously he wouldn't tell her he had been mistaken in giving her a key; instead he would have her "assist" him in his research by "reading" the text aloud. He could charm one of his more obscure potions books to pronounce words out loud when her fingers "read" the words. It was brilliant.
The next morning he put his plan into action. "Are you well enough to be of use today?" he asked, keeping his voice purposely sharp.
Hermione looked in the general direction of his voice and frowned, "I would love to help, but I'm not exactly the most useful assistant, why don't you get Colin?" Her tone was defeated.
"Nonsense," Severus said brusquely, "I wouldn't ask you to do something you were unable to do. Such actions would do neither of us any good." He walked over to her side and held out a heavy volume, "Here, take this."
Hermione wrapped her hands about the book. "I can't read the Braille yet," she said sadly, stroking a hand over the cover.
"I have every confidence that you will not find that to be a problem with this book," Severus kept his tone businesslike. "Now, Starting on page one, I need you to read aloud any reference to an Erumpent."
Hermione was puzzled, but did as she was told. Propping the book against her knees she opened to the first page and ran her fingers lightly over the tiny bumps.
The Erumpent horn...
Hermione started slightly, the words had been thoughts in her brain, she was certain she hadn't heard them allowed. Maybe she had wished so hard that the words had appeared. She ran a tentative finger over another section, further down the page.
.. a very popular use for this ...
Hermione remained a brilliant young woman, even if she was a blind one and the reality of her present situation finally sank in. She wasn't insane; the words had somehow been charmed so she would be able to understand them. Fairly certain that the charm would have taken a great deal of magical energy to achieve this type of success Hermione determined that she would learn the letters so that no other books need be charmed in the same way. She ran her fingers over the words again, this time feeling more carefully to measure the patterns for each letter.
Severus had settled a discreet distance away and watched her progress with pleasure. Her face was animated as she ran her finger across the page, muttering facts to herself. It was a beautiful sight.
*** 1 Month Later***
Hermione ran her finger along rough text, feeling her way through the words. She was working on yet another project for Severus – she had given up thinking of him as Professor Snape a few weeks ago. This was her third project and after the first Severus had begun to treat her more as a colleague than an invalid. Hermione had grasped onto that respect – it was the only thing she had – and thought of him with something akin to fondness.
"How much do you have left to do tonight?" Severus' silky voice cut into her concentration, a welcome distraction. His voice was no longer the malicious purr she remembered from her school days, but instead smooth and cultured and even kind. Hearing it sent delicious shivers up her spine.
"I'd like to finish this chapter," she replied sending a vague smile in the direction of his delectable voice.
"Can it wait until tomorrow?" Severus had moved closer and the proximity of his voice started Hermione so much she nearly dropped the book.
"I would rather it didn't have to, why?" Hermione closed the book over her finger and gave him her full attention, composing her expression to one of eager compliance.
"It's late – well past midnight – and you need your rest." His voice was tired.
Hermione harrumphed loudly. "I'll sleep when I've finished this section that will be soon enough. There's no need for you to wait up for me if you need rest – my word's good." She flipped open her book once again and resumed her careful perusal of the words, deciding the matter was closed.
Severus perched on the chair across from her. "You know it's not that I don't trust you." He admonished lightly, "You'll work yourself to death." His voice was suspiciously calm and Hermione realized belatedly that he was worried about her.
"I'm fine Severus," she murmured reaching out with one delicate hand to find his. He took it and gave her fingers a squeeze.
"I'm not going to let you throw away all the progress you've been making just because of some stupid research project."
"What progress?" Hermione asked bitterly.
"You know what progress Hermione, don't play stupid." Severus had found quickly that sympathy did nothing more than encourage her negativity. "You've come a long way and the doctor will be by in the morning for your weekly checkup."
Hermione heaved a long suffering sigh.
"Please," Severus cringed, hoping she didn't catch the hint of begging that hid in his tone, "take your time recovering. You can't rush things like this. Promise me you'll take it easy from now on. No more than an hour studying at a time and at least ten hours of sleep."
Knowing she had lost this battle Hermione tucked a bit of leather into the book at her page and stood, "Alright, if it means that much to you." With a final squeeze on Severus' hand she felt her way out of the room.
Severus watched her leave with a bitter-sweet feeling. He was relieved she had finally retired to bed, he had decided to let her determine her own bed- time but it was three in the morning and he had given up on the hope that she would set down her research. Hermione had been looking tired for a few days now and he was legitimately worried. On the other hand, he continued to despair for her complete recovery. The tenacious nature that had irritated him so much when she was his students seemed to have disappeared completely since the war. She was probably still adjusting to her handicap, but he knew too little about the Muggle idea of psychology to know if the length of her adjustment was healthy. And the fact that Ron was dead and Harry missing would have no positive effects on her mental state.
One thing he did know, despite his limited insight into the human psyche, was that the way the remainder of the staff treated Hermione – as if she were mentally disabled instead of blind – was probably the worst thing for her. Having made up his mind about that he had done his utmost to isolate her from them in the last few weeks. Albus had taken to giving him knowing looks in the corridors, but had apparently informed the staff that their presence was not an asset because their visits had ceased completely.
With a deep resigned sigh Severus stood and headed for his own quarters. He too would need to be alert for Hermione's examination tomorrow. It would be upsetting – though he didn't allow himself to scrutinize the exact reason for this – if Hermione was removed from his care before she was well. As much as he wanted to see Hermione well he knew he would miss her constant presence when she left. It bothered him enough that while he taught his classes she would either be alone or under the care of a house elf. None of the other professors had any more time to care for an invalid than he.
~
The doctor Albus had called in to assess Hermione's condition was an interesting man. A squib himself he worked as a Muggle doctor, but was married to a witch and lived with her in the wizard world. When Poppy had been unable to assist Hermione Dr. Holman had been Albus' one and only recommendation. After the initial appointment Severus had been forced to admit that the suggestion had been a good one. The doctor was both knowledgeable and gentle; Hermione hadn't even flinched at any point of his examination.
The examination that morning was a brief one. Dr. Holman asked Hermione a few questions and ran a standard test on her eyes before motioning to Severus to meet him outside.
After giving Hermione and reassuring squeeze on the shoulder Severus followed the doctor into the hall. "Well?" he asked.
"There has been no change." The doctor said his expression regretful. "I'm so sorry, but I've done all I can."
Severus' ears registered the Doctor's comments, but his heart refused to believe them. "You're certain?" his voice betrayed the deep sorrow that had seized him at the news.
"As I said, I'm sorry. There's little you can do but teach her to adjust to life without sight."
Severus sighed heavily. "Thank you doctor, truly."
"I'll come by in a few weeks to check her again, just to be sure, but it might be best for you to get her adjusted to the thought that she might never see again."
Unable to speak for the tears clogging his throat Severus nodded and extended a hand to the man who had tried his best but in the end been unable to counteract the disastrous effects of Hermione's injury.
Dr. Holman smiled sadly and left after reassuring Severus that Hermione would handle it and he would inform the headmaster. Severus watched him disappear around a corner, he wasn't ready to face Hermione yet, but he had little choice. Taking a steadying breath and then another when the first failed its desired effect, Severus returned to the room.
"What did he say?" Hermione was curled up in the large arm chair he had brought in here for her studying purposes, but for the first time in days there wasn't a book in sight. Her expression was vulnerable as she stared at the door with empty eyes.
Severus said nothing pulling a chair close to hers and grasping her tiny hands in his own larger ones. Another deep calming breath steadier him so that he could look into the vacant cinnamon eyes and not feel overwhelming sadness and anger, "He's coming back in a couple weeks to check again." his voice was gruff and he cleared his throat.
"I'm not going to get it back am I?" Hermione didn't sound or look surprised, "I'll be fine Severus." She pulled her left hand from his and reached clumsily to run her fingers reassuringly down his cheek.
He leaned his head into her palm and bit his lip to stop the tears. Tears he had been repressing since he was a boy, tears of sorrow, pain, and bitterness. Hermione shifted closer to him and he buried his face on her shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him, holding him tightly and rubbing reassuring circles on his back. "It's alright," she whispered. "Just let it out."
Once the tears began it took several minutes for them to stop. Hermione held him tightly throughout the ordeal, whispering soft comforts to him the whole time and refusing to let him back away. When he was done he pulled back slowly, acutely embarrassed. Who was he to be sobbing like a first year when she was so brave in the face of a life of blindness? The admiration he had always felt for her multiplied exponentially as he saw her face, empathetic but devoid of the pity he had feared finding.
"Thank you." Hermione said softly, causing Severus to shoot her a puzzled look.
"For what?"
"For caring enough to cry," she said sadness darkening her tone and furrowing her brow.
Closing his eyes in pain Severus pulled her into a fierce embrace.
________________________________________________________________________ A/n: Sorry for the long time I took to update, RL is insane and I'm working – or supposed to be working on my Original Fiction, any progress in Fanon is me procrastinating *smiles. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I decided that there was no point writing in every minute detail of every day, which is why I skipped a month after Hermione learnt how to read. Also, I realize that last chapter Dumbledore told Severus to teach Hermione how to brew potions, but in my mind Severus kindly ignores Dumbledore's instructions, because sight is important in judging the quality of a potion. Finally... In a bout of completely shameless self-promotion, I'll give cookies to anyone who takes the trouble to visit and comment on my Live Journal. Just tell me which story you want them for; it doesn't have to be this one and of course, if you don't have a LJ account, leave your email address so I can send you said cookie. PLEASE REVIEW!
Big thanks to... Deb – I promise that I deal with Harry next chapter.
Aegina – thank you!
RogueGrunger1990 – Thanks for your review. I don't know what your classification of romance is... so I can't answer your question, personally I find the idea of Hermione being nursed by Severus to be romantic in and of itself *grins*
Anarane Anwamane – Thanks for reviewing!
On-A-Rainy-Day – was my way of teaching her brail realistic enough? I hope so. Thanks for your reviews! You are almost the only reason that I updated this chapter this soon. I cave easily to pressure from reviews. *hints madly*
Weda - the constructive criticism is brilliant. I love it when reviewers are so honest and helpful. I hope you enjoyed my way of Sev. Teaching brail, I'm not too sure on it myself, but I had no better idea *shrugs* lol... Love the phrase "over snuggle" btw, I totally knew what you were talking about.
Brigd13 – thanks
shayleane - thanks for reviewing, sorry the update took more than 3 months *looks ashamed*
Melwasul – thanks for your review!
Mademoiselle Morte – ask and you shall receive, and I promise it won't take me 3 months next time.
Katrina Tonak – thanks for your review, as far as them falling in love.. you'll just have to wait and see.
Me - I hope the wait didn't kill you. Thanks for your review.
Ilove Sexy Sevi - thanks for reviewing!
Next chapter: Is the second to last *insert evil laughter*
A/N: Thank you everyone for your patience.
Hermione groaned inwardly. He was most definitely right about this not being what she had wanted, but she supposed it was better than nothing. She ran her fingers tentatively over the cover of one book. The slippery cover's smooth surface was broken by small protruding circles which Hermione explored with her fingers tracing out a pattern. She wasn't sure how Snape expected her to understand the brail without some sort of key, regardless of the difficulty she refused to stoop so low as to ask him. He may not be the epitome of fairness, but he was a good teacher. There had to be a method.
The morning passed quietly for both Severus and his patient. Hermione spent several hours studying the primer book before falling into an exhausted slumber and Severus was able to get caught up on the work he had abandoned in the earlier days of nursing Hermione, though his work was not without distraction. He didn't seem to be able to work for more than twenty minutes without checking on Hermione. She seemed to be struggling with the new language and he realized he may have overestimated her ability to pick up this new skill. He would have to spend some time with her and teach her the letters. If she knew the individual letters she could puzzle out the rest for herself, but it wasn't fair to expect her to puzzle out the entire language by herself. He spent the afternoon puzzling over his dilemma. He had been an imbecile to simply give her the books to puzzle out, because now he wouldn't be able to help her without giving her the mistaken impression that she had failed somehow.
Of course! The solution was so blatantly obvious Severus could have smacked himself for not coming up with it sooner. Obviously he wouldn't tell her he had been mistaken in giving her a key; instead he would have her "assist" him in his research by "reading" the text aloud. He could charm one of his more obscure potions books to pronounce words out loud when her fingers "read" the words. It was brilliant.
The next morning he put his plan into action. "Are you well enough to be of use today?" he asked, keeping his voice purposely sharp.
Hermione looked in the general direction of his voice and frowned, "I would love to help, but I'm not exactly the most useful assistant, why don't you get Colin?" Her tone was defeated.
"Nonsense," Severus said brusquely, "I wouldn't ask you to do something you were unable to do. Such actions would do neither of us any good." He walked over to her side and held out a heavy volume, "Here, take this."
Hermione wrapped her hands about the book. "I can't read the Braille yet," she said sadly, stroking a hand over the cover.
"I have every confidence that you will not find that to be a problem with this book," Severus kept his tone businesslike. "Now, Starting on page one, I need you to read aloud any reference to an Erumpent."
Hermione was puzzled, but did as she was told. Propping the book against her knees she opened to the first page and ran her fingers lightly over the tiny bumps.
The Erumpent horn...
Hermione started slightly, the words had been thoughts in her brain, she was certain she hadn't heard them allowed. Maybe she had wished so hard that the words had appeared. She ran a tentative finger over another section, further down the page.
.. a very popular use for this ...
Hermione remained a brilliant young woman, even if she was a blind one and the reality of her present situation finally sank in. She wasn't insane; the words had somehow been charmed so she would be able to understand them. Fairly certain that the charm would have taken a great deal of magical energy to achieve this type of success Hermione determined that she would learn the letters so that no other books need be charmed in the same way. She ran her fingers over the words again, this time feeling more carefully to measure the patterns for each letter.
Severus had settled a discreet distance away and watched her progress with pleasure. Her face was animated as she ran her finger across the page, muttering facts to herself. It was a beautiful sight.
*** 1 Month Later***
Hermione ran her finger along rough text, feeling her way through the words. She was working on yet another project for Severus – she had given up thinking of him as Professor Snape a few weeks ago. This was her third project and after the first Severus had begun to treat her more as a colleague than an invalid. Hermione had grasped onto that respect – it was the only thing she had – and thought of him with something akin to fondness.
"How much do you have left to do tonight?" Severus' silky voice cut into her concentration, a welcome distraction. His voice was no longer the malicious purr she remembered from her school days, but instead smooth and cultured and even kind. Hearing it sent delicious shivers up her spine.
"I'd like to finish this chapter," she replied sending a vague smile in the direction of his delectable voice.
"Can it wait until tomorrow?" Severus had moved closer and the proximity of his voice started Hermione so much she nearly dropped the book.
"I would rather it didn't have to, why?" Hermione closed the book over her finger and gave him her full attention, composing her expression to one of eager compliance.
"It's late – well past midnight – and you need your rest." His voice was tired.
Hermione harrumphed loudly. "I'll sleep when I've finished this section that will be soon enough. There's no need for you to wait up for me if you need rest – my word's good." She flipped open her book once again and resumed her careful perusal of the words, deciding the matter was closed.
Severus perched on the chair across from her. "You know it's not that I don't trust you." He admonished lightly, "You'll work yourself to death." His voice was suspiciously calm and Hermione realized belatedly that he was worried about her.
"I'm fine Severus," she murmured reaching out with one delicate hand to find his. He took it and gave her fingers a squeeze.
"I'm not going to let you throw away all the progress you've been making just because of some stupid research project."
"What progress?" Hermione asked bitterly.
"You know what progress Hermione, don't play stupid." Severus had found quickly that sympathy did nothing more than encourage her negativity. "You've come a long way and the doctor will be by in the morning for your weekly checkup."
Hermione heaved a long suffering sigh.
"Please," Severus cringed, hoping she didn't catch the hint of begging that hid in his tone, "take your time recovering. You can't rush things like this. Promise me you'll take it easy from now on. No more than an hour studying at a time and at least ten hours of sleep."
Knowing she had lost this battle Hermione tucked a bit of leather into the book at her page and stood, "Alright, if it means that much to you." With a final squeeze on Severus' hand she felt her way out of the room.
Severus watched her leave with a bitter-sweet feeling. He was relieved she had finally retired to bed, he had decided to let her determine her own bed- time but it was three in the morning and he had given up on the hope that she would set down her research. Hermione had been looking tired for a few days now and he was legitimately worried. On the other hand, he continued to despair for her complete recovery. The tenacious nature that had irritated him so much when she was his students seemed to have disappeared completely since the war. She was probably still adjusting to her handicap, but he knew too little about the Muggle idea of psychology to know if the length of her adjustment was healthy. And the fact that Ron was dead and Harry missing would have no positive effects on her mental state.
One thing he did know, despite his limited insight into the human psyche, was that the way the remainder of the staff treated Hermione – as if she were mentally disabled instead of blind – was probably the worst thing for her. Having made up his mind about that he had done his utmost to isolate her from them in the last few weeks. Albus had taken to giving him knowing looks in the corridors, but had apparently informed the staff that their presence was not an asset because their visits had ceased completely.
With a deep resigned sigh Severus stood and headed for his own quarters. He too would need to be alert for Hermione's examination tomorrow. It would be upsetting – though he didn't allow himself to scrutinize the exact reason for this – if Hermione was removed from his care before she was well. As much as he wanted to see Hermione well he knew he would miss her constant presence when she left. It bothered him enough that while he taught his classes she would either be alone or under the care of a house elf. None of the other professors had any more time to care for an invalid than he.
~
The doctor Albus had called in to assess Hermione's condition was an interesting man. A squib himself he worked as a Muggle doctor, but was married to a witch and lived with her in the wizard world. When Poppy had been unable to assist Hermione Dr. Holman had been Albus' one and only recommendation. After the initial appointment Severus had been forced to admit that the suggestion had been a good one. The doctor was both knowledgeable and gentle; Hermione hadn't even flinched at any point of his examination.
The examination that morning was a brief one. Dr. Holman asked Hermione a few questions and ran a standard test on her eyes before motioning to Severus to meet him outside.
After giving Hermione and reassuring squeeze on the shoulder Severus followed the doctor into the hall. "Well?" he asked.
"There has been no change." The doctor said his expression regretful. "I'm so sorry, but I've done all I can."
Severus' ears registered the Doctor's comments, but his heart refused to believe them. "You're certain?" his voice betrayed the deep sorrow that had seized him at the news.
"As I said, I'm sorry. There's little you can do but teach her to adjust to life without sight."
Severus sighed heavily. "Thank you doctor, truly."
"I'll come by in a few weeks to check her again, just to be sure, but it might be best for you to get her adjusted to the thought that she might never see again."
Unable to speak for the tears clogging his throat Severus nodded and extended a hand to the man who had tried his best but in the end been unable to counteract the disastrous effects of Hermione's injury.
Dr. Holman smiled sadly and left after reassuring Severus that Hermione would handle it and he would inform the headmaster. Severus watched him disappear around a corner, he wasn't ready to face Hermione yet, but he had little choice. Taking a steadying breath and then another when the first failed its desired effect, Severus returned to the room.
"What did he say?" Hermione was curled up in the large arm chair he had brought in here for her studying purposes, but for the first time in days there wasn't a book in sight. Her expression was vulnerable as she stared at the door with empty eyes.
Severus said nothing pulling a chair close to hers and grasping her tiny hands in his own larger ones. Another deep calming breath steadier him so that he could look into the vacant cinnamon eyes and not feel overwhelming sadness and anger, "He's coming back in a couple weeks to check again." his voice was gruff and he cleared his throat.
"I'm not going to get it back am I?" Hermione didn't sound or look surprised, "I'll be fine Severus." She pulled her left hand from his and reached clumsily to run her fingers reassuringly down his cheek.
He leaned his head into her palm and bit his lip to stop the tears. Tears he had been repressing since he was a boy, tears of sorrow, pain, and bitterness. Hermione shifted closer to him and he buried his face on her shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him, holding him tightly and rubbing reassuring circles on his back. "It's alright," she whispered. "Just let it out."
Once the tears began it took several minutes for them to stop. Hermione held him tightly throughout the ordeal, whispering soft comforts to him the whole time and refusing to let him back away. When he was done he pulled back slowly, acutely embarrassed. Who was he to be sobbing like a first year when she was so brave in the face of a life of blindness? The admiration he had always felt for her multiplied exponentially as he saw her face, empathetic but devoid of the pity he had feared finding.
"Thank you." Hermione said softly, causing Severus to shoot her a puzzled look.
"For what?"
"For caring enough to cry," she said sadness darkening her tone and furrowing her brow.
Closing his eyes in pain Severus pulled her into a fierce embrace.
________________________________________________________________________ A/n: Sorry for the long time I took to update, RL is insane and I'm working – or supposed to be working on my Original Fiction, any progress in Fanon is me procrastinating *smiles. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I decided that there was no point writing in every minute detail of every day, which is why I skipped a month after Hermione learnt how to read. Also, I realize that last chapter Dumbledore told Severus to teach Hermione how to brew potions, but in my mind Severus kindly ignores Dumbledore's instructions, because sight is important in judging the quality of a potion. Finally... In a bout of completely shameless self-promotion, I'll give cookies to anyone who takes the trouble to visit and comment on my Live Journal. Just tell me which story you want them for; it doesn't have to be this one and of course, if you don't have a LJ account, leave your email address so I can send you said cookie. PLEASE REVIEW!
Big thanks to... Deb – I promise that I deal with Harry next chapter.
Aegina – thank you!
RogueGrunger1990 – Thanks for your review. I don't know what your classification of romance is... so I can't answer your question, personally I find the idea of Hermione being nursed by Severus to be romantic in and of itself *grins*
Anarane Anwamane – Thanks for reviewing!
On-A-Rainy-Day – was my way of teaching her brail realistic enough? I hope so. Thanks for your reviews! You are almost the only reason that I updated this chapter this soon. I cave easily to pressure from reviews. *hints madly*
Weda - the constructive criticism is brilliant. I love it when reviewers are so honest and helpful. I hope you enjoyed my way of Sev. Teaching brail, I'm not too sure on it myself, but I had no better idea *shrugs* lol... Love the phrase "over snuggle" btw, I totally knew what you were talking about.
Brigd13 – thanks
shayleane - thanks for reviewing, sorry the update took more than 3 months *looks ashamed*
Melwasul – thanks for your review!
Mademoiselle Morte – ask and you shall receive, and I promise it won't take me 3 months next time.
Katrina Tonak – thanks for your review, as far as them falling in love.. you'll just have to wait and see.
Me - I hope the wait didn't kill you. Thanks for your review.
Ilove Sexy Sevi - thanks for reviewing!
Next chapter: Is the second to last *insert evil laughter*