Me: And so starts the Blue Moon season.
Phoenix: Joy to the world. Santa Claus, a cowboy, and a rich boy.
Me: That's what makes it funnier. Now review the reviews.
Dash142: Hmm, an elven ninja who began practice after he was born against you. $100 on Phoenix!
Victory March: Will do! (Note to self, ask Olaf where snow comes from.) Thanks for the review!
Bobomp: I will make fun of everyone, just to make it fair. However, I will tone down a little bit on Kanbei. Just a bit.
DW-881: Extreme favorite list? I FEEL SO LOVED! Again, I will make fun of EVERY character.
Naval Ace: Well, guns aren't my interest! Humor and writing is. NOW SHUT UP AND READ! Lol! Kidding.
Me: Ok, let's start interviewing! And by the way Phoenix, I got a new job for you.
Phoenix: What now? Hey, wait! I ain't doing that! STOP! HELP!
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars, or Olaf thank God.
Chapter 6: Olaf
{Screen fades in to a stage overlooking the Blue Moon capital. There are two blue couches and a glass-topped coffee table.}
Announcer (A.K.A. Phoenix): I refuse to do this job!
{From behind the curtain}
Me: You WILL do this job or I'll shoot you!
Phoenix: I'm a ninja for Pete's sake. You can't hit me!
BANG!
{A bullet grazes Phoenix's arm.}
Me: Too slow.
Phoenix: FINE! Anyway, hello everyone! And welcome to the second season of ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!
{Hesitant clapping because of the scene earlier.}
Phoenix: Now put your hands together for my WHAT?! I ain't reading THIS!
BANG!
{A bullet grazes Phoenix's other arm. He won't learn will he?}
Me: You WILL read what I tell you to read.
Phoenix: Grr, put your hands together for my master and your master, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!
{Again, hesitant clapping, but a few cheers from some fans. I walk out in a navy blue suit.}
Me: Thank you! Welcome to our second season of ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!
{Clapping and cheering}
Me: Now, put your hands together for that fat dictator, the Santa Clause of Blue Moon,
{I pause waiting for a witty comment or insult. Silence.}
Me: Um, please welcome, OLAF!
{VERY little clapping. A few cheers from die hard fans. Olaf comes out trying to stimulate the fans, but is failing miserably.}
Olaf: Thank you everyone! Welcome to Blue Moon!
{Nothing. Olaf is a little saddened, but being the stubborn fat boy he is, he tries to keep a straight face.}
Me: Ok Olaf, sit down and let's get this over with.
Olaf: With pleasure
{We both sit down. A flatulent noise comes from Olaf's couch. The audience roars with laughter while Olaf goes red. I pull out the whoopee cushion.}
Me: SHUT UP!
BANG! BANG!
{The audience quiets.}
Me: All right, who put this on my couch?
{From the announcer's booth, Phoenix's hand rises.}
Me: I'll speak to you later. Now first question, how do you summon the snow?
Olaf: Well, don't tell this to anyone, but I got this machine called the Super Snower 3000 from Lash, which can make it snow instantly and can also change the weather!
{Silence. It's clear I don't believe him.}
Me: You just open up a really big freezer that has a fan inside blowing out crushed ice don't you?
Olaf: Yeah, pretty much.
{Laughter. I glare at the audience and it's quiet immediately.}
Me: Second question, what the?
{Some random Russian dude A.K.A. Naval Ace comes walking through the doors of the building and walks onto the stage. Security doesn't do anything since I haven't summoned them yet.}
Naval Ace: You have my gun. Give it now.
{I calmly reach under the couch and pull out the gun. Naval Ace snatches it from me and walks to a random empty seat in the audience. He sits down in it and starts eyeing everyone. The audience moves at least two seats away from him.}
Me: Ok, now second question, what did Sturm promise you for taking over Orange Star?
Olaf: He promised me the land of Orange Star and half of the other countries he would conquer!
{Silence.}
Me: Did he promise you an ice cream cone?
Olaf: How'd you know that?!
{Audience starts roaring with laughter, I take out my gun and everyone quiets down.}
Me: Final question, what is your job outside of being a commanding officer?
Olaf: Why, ruling Blue Moon of course!
{Once again, silence.}
Me: You work at department stores playing Santa Clause.
Olaf: WHAT THE?! HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?! YOU'RE SO MEAN!
{Olaf runs off the stage as red as a strawberry with tears in his eyes. The audience roars with laughter and I make no move to stop them.}
Me: Thanks for the information Sturm.
Sturm: And thank you for giving me the chance to humiliate Olaf! This is the best day of my life!
Me: Well, for once the show didn't end in chaos! YAY! Thanks for watching people!
{Clapping, cheering, and laughing. I walk off.}
Phoenix: HAH! HAH! HAH! If this is what I can see while I'm on the job I LIKE being the announcer! Thanks for watching ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS! HAH! HAH!
{Screen fades out with the sounds of clapping, cheering, and laughing, lots and lots of laughing.}
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)
Me: Maybe I bashed Olaf a little too much, but no one really likes him anyway.
{Phoenix is rolling on the floor laughing is ass off}
Me: Um, well at least SOMEONE liked it. Hope I didn't bash Olaf too much and REVIEW PLEASE!
Phoenix: REVIEW HA HA HA! PLEASE! HA HA HA!
Phoenix: Joy to the world. Santa Claus, a cowboy, and a rich boy.
Me: That's what makes it funnier. Now review the reviews.
Dash142: Hmm, an elven ninja who began practice after he was born against you. $100 on Phoenix!
Victory March: Will do! (Note to self, ask Olaf where snow comes from.) Thanks for the review!
Bobomp: I will make fun of everyone, just to make it fair. However, I will tone down a little bit on Kanbei. Just a bit.
DW-881: Extreme favorite list? I FEEL SO LOVED! Again, I will make fun of EVERY character.
Naval Ace: Well, guns aren't my interest! Humor and writing is. NOW SHUT UP AND READ! Lol! Kidding.
Me: Ok, let's start interviewing! And by the way Phoenix, I got a new job for you.
Phoenix: What now? Hey, wait! I ain't doing that! STOP! HELP!
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars, or Olaf thank God.
Chapter 6: Olaf
{Screen fades in to a stage overlooking the Blue Moon capital. There are two blue couches and a glass-topped coffee table.}
Announcer (A.K.A. Phoenix): I refuse to do this job!
{From behind the curtain}
Me: You WILL do this job or I'll shoot you!
Phoenix: I'm a ninja for Pete's sake. You can't hit me!
BANG!
{A bullet grazes Phoenix's arm.}
Me: Too slow.
Phoenix: FINE! Anyway, hello everyone! And welcome to the second season of ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!
{Hesitant clapping because of the scene earlier.}
Phoenix: Now put your hands together for my WHAT?! I ain't reading THIS!
BANG!
{A bullet grazes Phoenix's other arm. He won't learn will he?}
Me: You WILL read what I tell you to read.
Phoenix: Grr, put your hands together for my master and your master, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!
{Again, hesitant clapping, but a few cheers from some fans. I walk out in a navy blue suit.}
Me: Thank you! Welcome to our second season of ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!
{Clapping and cheering}
Me: Now, put your hands together for that fat dictator, the Santa Clause of Blue Moon,
{I pause waiting for a witty comment or insult. Silence.}
Me: Um, please welcome, OLAF!
{VERY little clapping. A few cheers from die hard fans. Olaf comes out trying to stimulate the fans, but is failing miserably.}
Olaf: Thank you everyone! Welcome to Blue Moon!
{Nothing. Olaf is a little saddened, but being the stubborn fat boy he is, he tries to keep a straight face.}
Me: Ok Olaf, sit down and let's get this over with.
Olaf: With pleasure
{We both sit down. A flatulent noise comes from Olaf's couch. The audience roars with laughter while Olaf goes red. I pull out the whoopee cushion.}
Me: SHUT UP!
BANG! BANG!
{The audience quiets.}
Me: All right, who put this on my couch?
{From the announcer's booth, Phoenix's hand rises.}
Me: I'll speak to you later. Now first question, how do you summon the snow?
Olaf: Well, don't tell this to anyone, but I got this machine called the Super Snower 3000 from Lash, which can make it snow instantly and can also change the weather!
{Silence. It's clear I don't believe him.}
Me: You just open up a really big freezer that has a fan inside blowing out crushed ice don't you?
Olaf: Yeah, pretty much.
{Laughter. I glare at the audience and it's quiet immediately.}
Me: Second question, what the?
{Some random Russian dude A.K.A. Naval Ace comes walking through the doors of the building and walks onto the stage. Security doesn't do anything since I haven't summoned them yet.}
Naval Ace: You have my gun. Give it now.
{I calmly reach under the couch and pull out the gun. Naval Ace snatches it from me and walks to a random empty seat in the audience. He sits down in it and starts eyeing everyone. The audience moves at least two seats away from him.}
Me: Ok, now second question, what did Sturm promise you for taking over Orange Star?
Olaf: He promised me the land of Orange Star and half of the other countries he would conquer!
{Silence.}
Me: Did he promise you an ice cream cone?
Olaf: How'd you know that?!
{Audience starts roaring with laughter, I take out my gun and everyone quiets down.}
Me: Final question, what is your job outside of being a commanding officer?
Olaf: Why, ruling Blue Moon of course!
{Once again, silence.}
Me: You work at department stores playing Santa Clause.
Olaf: WHAT THE?! HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?! YOU'RE SO MEAN!
{Olaf runs off the stage as red as a strawberry with tears in his eyes. The audience roars with laughter and I make no move to stop them.}
Me: Thanks for the information Sturm.
Sturm: And thank you for giving me the chance to humiliate Olaf! This is the best day of my life!
Me: Well, for once the show didn't end in chaos! YAY! Thanks for watching people!
{Clapping, cheering, and laughing. I walk off.}
Phoenix: HAH! HAH! HAH! If this is what I can see while I'm on the job I LIKE being the announcer! Thanks for watching ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS! HAH! HAH!
{Screen fades out with the sounds of clapping, cheering, and laughing, lots and lots of laughing.}
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)
Me: Maybe I bashed Olaf a little too much, but no one really likes him anyway.
{Phoenix is rolling on the floor laughing is ass off}
Me: Um, well at least SOMEONE liked it. Hope I didn't bash Olaf too much and REVIEW PLEASE!
Phoenix: REVIEW HA HA HA! PLEASE! HA HA HA!