SOMEWHERE I BELONG - Part Two: Sharing Something Special

"What is love when neither one of you know exactly what it means with a shield of lies over it?" -Eclyptyk Neo

"I don't understand," Trinity broke the silence, as Neo met her in the eyes again. "Why are we acting like this?"

"Like what? Mindless zombies? It's what people call love." Neo said with some sarcasm. "Or has things changed since all these years? Have you been running from it this long?"

Trinity looked at him, slightly appalled at his comment. "Well, what about you?"

Neo shrugged uncomfortably. "Waste of time. Not something I really wanted to worry about."

"Yeah, I'd agree. But ya know, for the last thirty-odd years of your life, you've been living in a dream world bent on controlling all your thoughts."

Neo grabbed his heart, stepping back. "That hurts, Trinity. You've never thought about it at all since you've been here?"

Trinity slipped into the operating chair, observing him. She saw the tension. The shortness of his breath. The rising emotions in him. She smiled, slightly, crossing her arms across her chest. "Nope." she said simply. "Waste of time."

"Is this what it's like to be cold-hearted? To not believe in such a thing as love." He found his way to one of the engineering chairs.

"I've found no interest in it. It would get in the way." She shrugged.

"And you never gave it a chance?"

She shook her head. "How would you know how it feels like?"

"Even if it was all destroyed by the lies of the Matrix, there is something here." He nodded slowly. "You keep telling me that I've been living in a dream world. Fine. I admit that I am in one. But how do I know that this isn't a dream either."

"These aren't lies, Neo." She said. "I should know–"

"Know because you've been fighting for nine years? Or think you know?"

Trinity glared at him as she walked over to him. She knew exactly what he was doing, but she didn't want to give into it. She was better than this and he was using her own game against her. "Do you think I liked this? Liked fighting for all these years? You have no idea what I've been through."

"And is it any easier for me? Look," Neo forced out a breath. "As far as I could tell, I've been nothing but trouble since I got here."

"If you thought it would be trouble, why did you take the red pill?"

He looked at her, then up at the ceiling, letting out a sigh. "I thought things were gonna be different. It's way too fucking different. But I thought it would be more welcoming than the lies I've been getting in the Matrix. Besides, can you blame a guy who seems to find interest in you?"

Trinity looked down guilty and slightly embarrassed. She didn't want to push him away, but she knew he was putting up an act. He never knew how to react with anyone. He was used to following the rules, or trying to make his own rules for the sake of making a living.

Neo looked up at her, crossing his arms. "I know you want to apologize. Don't. Maybe, it's just me. This is all still going over my head. After finally waking up from this dream, I never realized how much I missed it. How much I was used to and what I still had to learn. I'm sorry, Trinity."

Trinity wanted to smile, but did it internally. She knew this person. An innocent, lost child who didn't know right from wrong. She knew he wanted to fit in. Was trying to. To learn. He was trying, and no one wasn't all too welcoming for his effort.

Neo was about to get off the chair, but Trinity pushed him back into the chair. Their eyes met again. Trinity held him down, easing closer into him. Neo's breath grew short. He could feel her short breath against his own. He found his arm wrap around her back, pulling her closer. For the moment, they looked into each other's eyes. Nothing was spoken. The rising emotions stirred both of them.

But Neo was the first one to move. His lips moved to lay a gentle kiss on Trinity's lips. But Trinity was the first one who deepened the kiss, requesting entrance. He didn't oppose as he welcomed it intently. She could feel his uncertainty. There was passion there. And they both knew it. And anytime they managed to make that move, for their lips to touch, it grew more intimate. More passionate. More secure. More pure.

Yet, there was still a gap between them. A distance. The level on which they talked wasn't personal. It was only general talk.

Trinity broke the kiss, catching her breath. She met his eyes again, the mystery behind them. They pulled her in, drawing her so close. Neo felt slightly confused. He wanted to kiss her again. Explore every aspect of her body, but didn't really know how. If he really wanted to rush into it. If this was how feeling happy was, he didn't want to let it go. As far as he could tell, he was already living a miserable life full of lies.

Trinity kissed him again. The embrace was warm and calming. She caressed his face as the kiss grew deeper with passion.

Nothing else seemed to matter at that moment. To either of them. They were in their own world. Just like the first time they met.

Neo found his hand run under Trinity's sweater, but she caught it before he could go any farther. He knew instantly that she wasn't looking for that.

"No, Neo." She said against his lips. "Not yet. Not now."

He looked away, but complied. He usually never knew what he wanted in a relationship, but he knew this would be the one. Not because he was the One and it was fate that brought them together. But because the way they touched and looked at each other was something more. That she was the one who had convinced him of taking the step into reality. Because she believed in him. Because he saw hope in her.

He nodded. "Yeah. Don't want to rush it."

She slowly pulled away, but still allowed his hand to stay protectively around her.

The room fell silent.

"Do you ever regret it?" Neo wanted to know, breaking the silence.

"Taking that pill?" Trinity sighed, shaking her head. "Sometimes. I haven't thought about it much lately. I've gotten used to the fight for survival."

"Would you go back?"

"After all that I faced?" she shook her head. "No. I don't really think I could."

Trinity walked away and back over to the operating computer. Neo wanted to follow, but sat back thinking. He felt slightly out of place. He felt she wasn't telling him what he wanted to hear, but would have to deal with the answers she was giving him. Trinity turned the computer screen back on, realizing there was still in huge downpour in Matrix: New York. "I noticed you haven't slept much lately."

He nodded, as she walked back over to him. "I'm not a big sleeper. Never was."

"That's bad for you, ya know."

He shrugged. "It doesn't bother me much."

"I think it does." she said, freeing his computer from its locked position. "The Matrix still leaves scars on you. You're not ready to let it all go. You've only been in there once since the sentinel attack a few days ago."

He didn't answer.

"I've seen you up here late at night staring at the monitors. Looking at the life you thought you had." She said gently with some force.

He looked away, shaking his head.

"I think it's time you say good-bye, Neo."

Neo looked at her, than at his lap, the plugs, the scars of no control ran over his entire body. He shuddered again.

Trinity pushed him back into the chair, caressing his face. "It's for the best."

He forced out a sigh, nodding.

She strapped him into the chair, gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead and drove the central plug into the back of his neck where it met his head. His eyes fell shut and his body went into a state of unconsciousness.

...And I've got nothing to say

I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face

I was confused

Looking everywhere only to find

That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind

So what am I

What do I have but negativity

Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me

Nothing to lose

Nothing to gain, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own and the fault is my own....

To be continued.........