SOMEWHERE I BELONG - Part Six: I Know Where I Belong
"Never stop searching for your place in the world. We all serve a purpose, and it's there to be discovered." -Eclyptyk Neo
Another hour passed.
Neo finally made it back into the city life as people crowded under roofs from the rain, waiting it off or for transportation.
So many minds. So many lives. So many people. Anything is possible in this world. I can't fight it anymore.
He walked passed the people again. Young and old. Single. Married. Dating. Innocent. Weak. Power. Aggressive. They just didn't know. None of them had any clue.
He ducked into another alley and collapsed on a wall, slumping onto the wet ground. He removed his sunglasses and buried his face in his lap. Tears streaked down his face.
He blinked. And in the puddle, he could see himself in the confides of the ship. He was warm–well, warmer than in this dream. Dry. The rags he wore seemed so much more comfortable than his wet attire on his back now. He was asleep.
This was only a dream. A dream that was real, but fake in every respect. If they died here, they died in the real world. With no chance to come back.
"The body cannot live without the mind." Morpheus had said.
He blinked again. The rain covered up the tears.
"I don't know if I could do this." he whispered. "There's too many of them. I don't think I can do it. If I fail, everyone dies. If I'm victorious, we'll all be free. But the sacrifices I've already made–how many more do I have to make?"
He heard Morpheus' voice in his head again. "We have a rule. We don't free a mind after a certain age. It has a hard time adapting it. It can't accept the change. And it's far too depended on the system."
"I understand, Morpheus." Neo admitted. "But I never thought I missed so much. Needed so much. Left so many things behind. This is hard for me. This is unlike anything I've ever experienced. I don't know if I could do it. I don't know if I could do it alone."
He buried his face again, seeing the people he once knew as co-workers, friends and family. He shuddered again.
He was alone. Yet, he wasn't. The crew of the ship was his new family. His new friends. His co-workers. Those that died, died for him. Made the sacrifice for him to survive. For him to live on, because he was the One.
This wasn't home anymore. The Matrix was a dream. Home was on the Nebachanezzar. In Zion, if he ever got to see it.
Neo forced himself to his feet. He replaced the sunglasses over his eyes and retreated out of the alley.
Again, he looked at the people around him, hearing Morpheus' guiding words. "...here in the Matrix people don't realize that the machines control their every action. Every feeling, interest or thought. They own you in here, Neo. They're trapped and many of them don't realize it. Most refuse to let it go and they'll fight to protect it. There are two people in this world. Us and them. If you are not fighting against the system, than you are fighting for it. You are an agent. And they won't stop until you're dead."
"Search and destroy." Neo told himself. "Just like the sentinels in the real world."
He watched the people as prey. He wasn't a predator. Nor did he want to be a threat. He only wanted to do what had to be done. Save the human race. Morpheus believed he was the one. Tank did. And so did Trinity. He couldn't let them down. He couldn't let down all the freed minds in Zion or those that were still here in the Matrix. And until the Matrix will be destroyed, no one was free. No one.
Neo turned away, heading into a darkened street less taken. It grew dark. The rain had finally stopped, but the streets were abandoned. The sun began to break away from the cloudy abyss. He felt that joy was no longer an issue, if it was. He had a job to do. It would take time, but for nearly 30 years of his existence he didn't know where he was or what he was doing.
"No more lies, Neo." he told himself. "You now live in the world of truth. This before you are dreams that make anything possible. This is real. The Matrix is real and it has control over more than you ever had in your life."
In the distance he heard a phone ringing. It was time to go. He knew. He knew life was never meant to be fair. But he now saw it in new light. The truth being covered by the lies.
He walked over to the telephone booth. Looking at the world before him, the code droned away the color and fine detail of the area. He hesitated, letting out a sight. He picked up the phone, pushed it up to his ear as his eyes fell shut. The coldness was swept by a dark void. His entire body was engulfed into the void and the coldness was no longer there.
The phone dropped, dangling on its cord as a dial tone rang through Neo's mind.
...I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything
Til I break away from me
I will break away I'll find myself today.....
-----
When he could hear the strumming beat of machines in the back of his mind, he slowly opened his eyes. He felt the jerk of the long needle being pulled from its central feeding ground. He wasn't drenched in the freezing cold reality of the Matrix, but of warmth he was so glad to have a hold of. He was back in his ragged clothes he had every right to call his own. He looked away, avoiding contact with the very person who sent him into the Matrix to say good-bye to his past. Though it was a comfort to have her right there, he couldn't move.
A dream. It was just a dream. He thought.
He finally looked up at the strong athletic woman, who didn't seem to look back at him. He knew how hard it was. The emotions of sadness couldn't escape him. He let the tears fall as he got off the chair hoping he could retire to his room and finally get some sleep.
But, Trinity stopped him from taking another step. Though, she didn't look up to see the hurt in his eyes, he knew that she was crying too. And it was a shock to even see her in that state of mind. She appeared so strong. So competitive. So willing to end the war between man and machine. But he fell into her welcoming, comforting hug.
And for the first time, Neo knew exactly where he belonged.
....I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain
I felt so long
Erase all the pain til it's gone
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something
I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong....
THE END