Yay, peeps reviewed, thanks. I edited chapter 1s layout! I don't own anything, well, not yet, but for the moment poor and penniless I shall remain. Onwards we go to a sequelly type thing. I Have a really fragmented type writing style so its kind of obvious that some people wont understand, though others may, depends how odd you are.
Chapter 2: Wednesday Never Dies
Elrond awoke. He hadn't realised he was sleeping but then again, he thought, maybe early periods of death is sleeping, and he was going to find out more now.
"Elly Baby?"
"Gnuh..."
"Gnuh is not a real word..."
"Haldir?"
"That's right."
"I thought we were dead..."
"As did I, but it seems that Wednesday is over, you know how our days have no relevance to each other."
"Wednesday hasn't even begun, we died on Tuesday!"
"Oh, that explains why we died, if we died at all! But I heard a myth of Lothlorien about Wednesdays, but it must be true as we are only a myth, and we're here."
"Okay, what is it?"
"Apparently, in Lothlorien, Wednesdays never die, they just replace dead Tuesdays! So when we died, we were resurrected on Wednesday!"
"That explains the chapter name"
"Indeed. Now, where were we?"
"I think I should be getting back to Rivendell."
"But Elly... Rivendell's gone!"
"I'll just rebuild it. Anyway, don't you have some leader of Lothlorien duties to do?"
"So what? I like it here! Plus I have a glamorous assistant!"
"Go be with her..."
"Him"
"...Then, hey you interrupted me!"
"I had to correct you!"
"Well, you go be with him, I want to go home!"
"Are you dumping me?"
"Seems that way"
"Slut"
"Am not"
"Are to"
"Am not"
"Are to"
"Am not"
"Are to"
"Am not"
"Are to"
"I AM NOT A SLUT! And I'm leaving"
"Are to a slut"
"Am not!"
Elrond stormed off out of the woods, but very soon received a carrier pigeon telling which immediately squawked the words "Are to!" The poor pigeon was promptly ripped to shreds.
As soon as he was back in the charred remains of Rivendell, Elrond realised just how un-charred it was. It was all in pristine condition, exactly as he had left it, except the people had moved.
"Elrond?" Came Celebrians scream of joy to see her husband back.
"Hello, Celebrian, I thought you died when the meteor hit?" More like he hoped she had died, silly slut.
"Oh no, that meteorite was just a mass hallucination with sleeping gas inside, also the author couldn't be bothered to try and make a story without us Rivendell dwellers here. That hallucination theory is just an excuse for him having no imagination."
"I'm confused, are you saying we never died?"
"Yes, god Elrond, I'm sure you must have failed your SEEFTASTBLOF's"
"My what?"
"Standard Elf Exams For The Average Soon To Be Leader Of Rivendell"
"I never took them"
"oh, well that explains a lot! They are basic intelligence exams and you really should do some"
"I do not take exams, bitch"
"wanker"
"why are arguing?"
"why not?"
"Because its unnecessary"
"Tough, I'm using an argument as an excuse to leave you for our son, Elladan, because I don't want to be in this story anymore. I'm off to The Undying Lands and hes coming too!"
"Bitch!"
"Slut! You screwed Haldir!"
"how did you know?"
"You should be a bit more careful, the trees can talk remember!"
"Damn! I'm going to kill Treebeard!"
"leave the poor treee alone!"
"He's perverted, spying on me like that!"
"We don't want to know about your sex life!"
"But you seem determined to find out?"
"Yes"
"I heard about yours, seems I'm not the only one who's screwed Haldir!"
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I'm married to a filthy slut who's even slept with dwarves! That's the lowest you can stoop!"
"Racist!"
"No, I'm just remembering our ancestral hates"
"Racist hates!"
"Have you gone yet?"
"Obviously not!"
"Well get on with it, this chapters boring me. And this story might one day be a whole week! Which means the author needs to save some ideas for other days!"
"Fine, I'm going!"
And with that, Celebrian walked gracefully from the room, never declining an opportunity to look beautifully slutty. Elrond found some drugs in his cabinet, and gathered some booze and sent a carrier pigeon to Haldir.
2 Hours later, Haldir was ringing the doorbell, then discovered there was no doorbell and decided to knock instead.
Elrond ran to the door and leapt into Haldirs arms, but missed as Haldir was hiding round the corner and Elrond had not realised.
"Damn you, you made me break my leg again!"
"Silly Elly Baby"
"Do that thing you did yesterday to make it better"
"What thing?"
"The THING"
"What this?" and Haldir did a special trick with his left middle finger and healed the leg.
"God that's better!"
"Ooh, now I'm here, can we get some maple syrup, seeing as we had none yesterday?"
"Sounds fun, especially as maple syrup tastes nice"
"Lets do it!" And again, they did it, but that is best left to the imagination.
However, not long later, Rivendell got so hot it set on fire, and the smoke got into Elrond and Haldir's lungs, so they choked until they collapsed, It seemed that Wednesday was just as unlucky as Tuesday.aldir.
Chapter 2: Wednesday Never Dies
Elrond awoke. He hadn't realised he was sleeping but then again, he thought, maybe early periods of death is sleeping, and he was going to find out more now.
"Elly Baby?"
"Gnuh..."
"Gnuh is not a real word..."
"Haldir?"
"That's right."
"I thought we were dead..."
"As did I, but it seems that Wednesday is over, you know how our days have no relevance to each other."
"Wednesday hasn't even begun, we died on Tuesday!"
"Oh, that explains why we died, if we died at all! But I heard a myth of Lothlorien about Wednesdays, but it must be true as we are only a myth, and we're here."
"Okay, what is it?"
"Apparently, in Lothlorien, Wednesdays never die, they just replace dead Tuesdays! So when we died, we were resurrected on Wednesday!"
"That explains the chapter name"
"Indeed. Now, where were we?"
"I think I should be getting back to Rivendell."
"But Elly... Rivendell's gone!"
"I'll just rebuild it. Anyway, don't you have some leader of Lothlorien duties to do?"
"So what? I like it here! Plus I have a glamorous assistant!"
"Go be with her..."
"Him"
"...Then, hey you interrupted me!"
"I had to correct you!"
"Well, you go be with him, I want to go home!"
"Are you dumping me?"
"Seems that way"
"Slut"
"Am not"
"Are to"
"Am not"
"Are to"
"Am not"
"Are to"
"Am not"
"Are to"
"I AM NOT A SLUT! And I'm leaving"
"Are to a slut"
"Am not!"
Elrond stormed off out of the woods, but very soon received a carrier pigeon telling which immediately squawked the words "Are to!" The poor pigeon was promptly ripped to shreds.
As soon as he was back in the charred remains of Rivendell, Elrond realised just how un-charred it was. It was all in pristine condition, exactly as he had left it, except the people had moved.
"Elrond?" Came Celebrians scream of joy to see her husband back.
"Hello, Celebrian, I thought you died when the meteor hit?" More like he hoped she had died, silly slut.
"Oh no, that meteorite was just a mass hallucination with sleeping gas inside, also the author couldn't be bothered to try and make a story without us Rivendell dwellers here. That hallucination theory is just an excuse for him having no imagination."
"I'm confused, are you saying we never died?"
"Yes, god Elrond, I'm sure you must have failed your SEEFTASTBLOF's"
"My what?"
"Standard Elf Exams For The Average Soon To Be Leader Of Rivendell"
"I never took them"
"oh, well that explains a lot! They are basic intelligence exams and you really should do some"
"I do not take exams, bitch"
"wanker"
"why are arguing?"
"why not?"
"Because its unnecessary"
"Tough, I'm using an argument as an excuse to leave you for our son, Elladan, because I don't want to be in this story anymore. I'm off to The Undying Lands and hes coming too!"
"Bitch!"
"Slut! You screwed Haldir!"
"how did you know?"
"You should be a bit more careful, the trees can talk remember!"
"Damn! I'm going to kill Treebeard!"
"leave the poor treee alone!"
"He's perverted, spying on me like that!"
"We don't want to know about your sex life!"
"But you seem determined to find out?"
"Yes"
"I heard about yours, seems I'm not the only one who's screwed Haldir!"
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I'm married to a filthy slut who's even slept with dwarves! That's the lowest you can stoop!"
"Racist!"
"No, I'm just remembering our ancestral hates"
"Racist hates!"
"Have you gone yet?"
"Obviously not!"
"Well get on with it, this chapters boring me. And this story might one day be a whole week! Which means the author needs to save some ideas for other days!"
"Fine, I'm going!"
And with that, Celebrian walked gracefully from the room, never declining an opportunity to look beautifully slutty. Elrond found some drugs in his cabinet, and gathered some booze and sent a carrier pigeon to Haldir.
2 Hours later, Haldir was ringing the doorbell, then discovered there was no doorbell and decided to knock instead.
Elrond ran to the door and leapt into Haldirs arms, but missed as Haldir was hiding round the corner and Elrond had not realised.
"Damn you, you made me break my leg again!"
"Silly Elly Baby"
"Do that thing you did yesterday to make it better"
"What thing?"
"The THING"
"What this?" and Haldir did a special trick with his left middle finger and healed the leg.
"God that's better!"
"Ooh, now I'm here, can we get some maple syrup, seeing as we had none yesterday?"
"Sounds fun, especially as maple syrup tastes nice"
"Lets do it!" And again, they did it, but that is best left to the imagination.
However, not long later, Rivendell got so hot it set on fire, and the smoke got into Elrond and Haldir's lungs, so they choked until they collapsed, It seemed that Wednesday was just as unlucky as Tuesday.aldir.