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Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Degrassi.
Slamming Doors: Chapter 2
Back Doors
"Uh... uh..." Marco could barely speak as Dylan let go of his shirt. He was so embarrassed. Partly because Dylan was staring at him, and partly because he could hear Spinner making a nasty comment behind him. Marco had always had a crush on him, from the moment he met him at the beach, through his little volleyball lesson, and even after he told him to leave him alone. He wanted so bad to tell Dylan he liked him. But he wasn't prepared for the criticism back at school. He just couldn't take that. People like Jay, and Sean would always be on his back about things. He already had Spinner to worry about... let alone homophobic upperclassmen.
The thought ran through Marco's head, to kiss Dylan again, to show him that he really liked him. The thought of telling his friends he had to go because he had to help his mom make dinner also ran through his mind. He didn't do either; instead he stood there like a complete moron, staring at Dylan's eyes, which at that moment seemed almost empty.
Dylan was nervous. He felt bad about taking advantage of Marco just like that. It wasn't something he would normally do. However, he thought to himself, that when he was still closeted and not truly proud of what he was, he would've wanted someone to do that to him. It was weird, but he felt if he had help when he didn't know which way to turn, he might not have had so many sharp stops along the way. He longed for Marco to say something, or just for him to move. Time was suspended and he knew it was his fault. Would Marco ever look at him the same way, would he tell him to leave him alone again? Dylan was almost panicking. His self-doubt came to a stop when Paige decided it was time to step in.
"Um... guys, that was juicy but can we get along with the game?" She said sarcastically. Marco was startled; he sat back down and folded his hands together in a nervous manner. His expression was blank as he stared at his fiddling fingers.
"Marco I'm sorry, just caught up in the moment... ya' know?" Dylan said rather slowly. He swallowed hard, and looked patiently at the nervous Italian teen.
"Oh' ha, yeah I know." Marco answered blushing and trying really hard to smile and hold back tears. Why am I almost crying? He thought to himself of how ridiculous he must look.
"Anyway... Marco it's your turn to ask someone." Spinner said trying very hard to get the sappy love story moving without him in the room.
It was Monday, the most painful day of the week. The day of the week when you have to slink out of bed earlier then the day before, and dread the next six hours of your life. For Marco it was even more painful. He had to suck up his pride and face Dylan. He knew he was going to have Paige on his back all day and Spinner giving him disgusted faces throughout the day. Dread.
"Hi, Marco!" Ellie leaned against the locker next to Marco's. Her face lit up as she noticed a certain loose leaf piece of paper taped to the inside door of his locker.
"Yeah, I told you I adored it. I think it's in a nice place, right above my mirror. So it's kinda' like, love the man in the mirror more and the mirror less." Marco glanced in his mirror and finished his tszujing. (1) Ellie laughed at his joke and poked her head in front of his mirror.
"So, you never told me what happened at Jimmy's house," she said with a suspicious glare.
"Oh' nothing big, except if you would call kissing Dylan nothing big," He smiled with his CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? face.
"WHAT!?" She exasperated, "You just happened to forget to mention that!? Why didn't you call me? When, how? Oh' my friggin' god, you're kidding right!? Oh' my god, oh' my god!" She bounced up and down clutching her books and smirking.
"Shush, El! Well we were playing truth or dare, right? Paige dares me to kiss Dyl, so I do, and as I get up to sit back down he so pulls me back down and kisses me for like ever! Of course this was all followed by an awkward lull in the room, but what ever! El, it was awesome, although I did spend most of the weekend worrying about it. I should have told you, sorry. But I mean telling someone really helps the grieving process! Just kidding," they both laughed. Marco couldn't believe how much better he felt after telling Ellie. She really was a great friend.
"So totally pulls you down and kisses you like forever, huh?" Marco was speechless, who had heard him? He blushed madly, and turned around to find Dylan behind him, wearing his over-the-shoulder bag and an Abercrombie shirt with football written on it. He had his hair halfway tucked behind his ear, and the other half was almost covering his eyes. Marco blushed even more then he was when he saw Dylan. He was kind of hoping it would be Spinner that heard him however.
"Urm... I-I-" He didn't know what to say. Dylan chuckled.
"So you eat forth period, right? Maybe you could sit with me at lunch today. Bring Jimmy, or..." He looked at Ellie.
"Ellie," she said smiling.
"Ellie, nice to meet you," He said a little less enthusiastic then he'd hoped. He remembered Paige telling him about a girl named Ellie who had pretended to be Marco's girlfriend so he could stay closeted to his friends.
"Uh, yeah I'd l-love to," Marco was stuttering horribly and felt so embarrassed.
"Great!" Dylan said as he patted Marco's shoulder and smiled at Ellie. Then he casually walked down the busy hallway.
"Wow, he's so cute Marco," she said trying to get him to realize she was still standing there.
"Yeah... but I can't believe he heard what I said, how embarrassing was that!?" He said blushing then he slammed his locker door closed. Ellie laughed at him.
Marco walked into his classroom. He had gym. Which he loathed, Spinner had stopped changing in the locker room because of him. Marco told him to stop, and he ended up changing in the bathroom. Spinner was happy with the situation; Marco dreaded changing in the boy's bathroom it always smelt revolting.
As he walked into the gym, the guys were all playing basketball. He liked basketball season. He felt he really didn't stick out among the athletic people because a lot of people couldn't play that well. Jimmy always picked him to be on his team anyway too. That day, however, a ninth grade class had to join them. The girls had Dr. Sally visit them so the boys were left doing nothing. Mr. Armstrong decided to have them join his gym class; he also decided to pair up a tenth grader with an eleventh grader for trust falls. He said that the new partners would better there chance at trusting themselves in said activities.
Marco was partnered with Sean Cameron, who was the same age, he'd just been held back a year.
"You want to go first?" Marco asked Sean.
"No." He said bluntly.
"Okay..." Marco looked at him. He didn't know what to say... he didn't want to just fall and have Sean 'forget' what to do. Marco was somewhat afraid of Sean. He didn't really know him, but he did know that he hung out with Jay a lot.
"Are your going to fall or just stand there like a shit head?" Sean said, looking at Marco with annoyance.
"Urm, right," Marco turned around. "R-ready to fall."
"Fall away." Sean said with a tint of sarcasm. Marco leaned back to fall. But then stuck his foot out behind him, he got himself so worked up at the thought that Sean was going to drop him that he didn't want to risk looking like a 'shit head'.
"What the hell's your problem? I was going to catch you, you fag." Sean looked at him. Marco was so startled by what he'd just called him. Did he know? How? He hadn't told anyone... He doubted Spinner would tell a lower classmen, then again, he was friends with him...
"Uh...uh... sorry, I'm just..."
"Don't worry about." He all of a sudden changed from pissed to supportive, and it was freaking Marco out.
After gym Marco told Jimmy what happened. Jimmy said he hadn't told anyone. Marco figured that Sean probably read it on the bathroom wall before it had been washed off. Jimmy told him not to think about it, saying Sean was an idiot anyway. Marco sighed.
It was lunch time. Marco was so excited. He grabbed Ellie and together they looked around the lunch room to find Dylan's table.
"Looking for someone?" Dylan appeared behind them. He had a talent of sneaking up on people Marco pondered.
"Hey!" Marco said excitingly.
"Come on, I'm sitting over there," he said pointing to the corner of the cafeteria. "Oh," he said noticing they didn't have their food yet. "I'll meet you over there." He smiled and walked off.
They got their food and sat down at the table. Marco sat across from Dylan and Ellie next to him. Dylan had some friends sitting with him. He introduced them all to each other then they began to eat.
"So, Marco you like fruit?" One of Dylan's twelfth grade friends sarcastically asked. The others laughed.
"Shut up, man," Dylan said, kind of jokingly, but sort of serious.
"Just kidding, chill Dyl!" They laughed on. After some more talk about hockey, and what it's like to be a senior Marco gave his little 'gotta jet' and Ellie and him left. Marco was a little embarrassed. Apparently, Dylan's friends were aware of Marco's sexual orientation, much to Marco's dismay. He wasn't sure he wanted so many people to know just yet. However, they were Dylan's friends, so they must be trustworthy he thought to himself.
"Marco!"
"Dylan? What are you-"Marco looked at Dylan quite confused.
"I'm sorry about the guys, they're just kidding you know, they're really good guys. They're not going to tell anyone." It was as if Dylan could tell he was nervous about that. Marco smiled.
"Oh' course not," he smiled.
"Good. Okay, well I hope that wasn't too uncomfortable for you. The guys like you, they said you're like a mini-me, sadly. Just kissing."
"What?"
"Uh... just kidding? What's wrong?"
"Oh' nothing I just coulda' swore you said... never mind. I uh gotta jet. I'll catch up to later." With that he jogged off. I'm loosing my mind! He thought to himself. He so wanted to just tell Dylan but he didn't know if the kiss was just a 'in the moment' thing. Man, I coulda' sworn he said 'just kissing'... He blushed at the thought.
"Yo."
"Wha, uh... hi," Marco turned around to see a bored looking Sean behind him. His hands were in his pockets and he had his head phones around his neck. "What's up?"
"Dude, I know you're gay."
"Huh, wha... I-I," Marco panicked.
"Calm down dude. I'm only tellin' you I know because I want something from you." Sean's was still expressionless. What the hell was he talking about, Marco was nervous. Sean could tell and all of a sudden looked nervous too. "NO! Nothing like that, gross. No, I was wondering if you could hook me up with Ellie. You guys are friends, right?"
"Huh, yeah..." He didn't like where this was going.
"I won't tell anyone, I swear," he said raising his voice a little.
"Does El even know who you are?" Marco said a little angry with his proposition.
"Sure. Will you do it or not? Cause if ya don't-"
"You'll what?! Tell the whole school? I don't care!" Marco was about to cry. He was done. He was tired. He didn't want to pretend to be something he wasn't any longer. This was it, he thought. Everyone's going to know. He could handle it. He had Dylan, Ellie, Jimmy and everyone. He remembered Paige's words, outside Jimmy's house. She was right. He could be brave... like Dylan. No one was going to put him down for being something he can't help being, no one, not Jay not Sean not Spinner. He all of a sudden felt inspired by his own courage. There was no escape now, there wasn't a back door.
"Whoa, cool it Carson Kresseley. I'm not gunna spill your little secret, I just thought you could help me. I'm actually glad you didn't give into my blackmail, cause' if you did then I probably would've told Degrassi your secret." Marco was surprised. Jimmy was wrong, Sean's not that bad.
"Wow, you took me by surprise kinda'. Well, then yeah... Yeah! I'll help you out. I'll talk to Ellie!" He felt so much better. However, all that encouraging talk he'd just had to himself all of a sudden felt really worthless. He was actually opening up to the fact that sooner or later everyone would know. "Actually... do something for me?"
Authors Note: Darn, this one was kinda shorter... less dialogue I think. Sorry. Okay, also sorry for the lack of action between Marco and Dylan. Something will happen next chapter, I promise, I already know, and its gunna be INTENSE! Well hoped you enjoyed! u Please review with your thoughts, good or bad! u thanks for reading!
1. Well, anyone who watches Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is most likely familiar with this word. Its definition by the Queer eyes is: putting the finishing touches on ones hair or clothes.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Degrassi.
Slamming Doors: Chapter 2
Back Doors
"Uh... uh..." Marco could barely speak as Dylan let go of his shirt. He was so embarrassed. Partly because Dylan was staring at him, and partly because he could hear Spinner making a nasty comment behind him. Marco had always had a crush on him, from the moment he met him at the beach, through his little volleyball lesson, and even after he told him to leave him alone. He wanted so bad to tell Dylan he liked him. But he wasn't prepared for the criticism back at school. He just couldn't take that. People like Jay, and Sean would always be on his back about things. He already had Spinner to worry about... let alone homophobic upperclassmen.
The thought ran through Marco's head, to kiss Dylan again, to show him that he really liked him. The thought of telling his friends he had to go because he had to help his mom make dinner also ran through his mind. He didn't do either; instead he stood there like a complete moron, staring at Dylan's eyes, which at that moment seemed almost empty.
Dylan was nervous. He felt bad about taking advantage of Marco just like that. It wasn't something he would normally do. However, he thought to himself, that when he was still closeted and not truly proud of what he was, he would've wanted someone to do that to him. It was weird, but he felt if he had help when he didn't know which way to turn, he might not have had so many sharp stops along the way. He longed for Marco to say something, or just for him to move. Time was suspended and he knew it was his fault. Would Marco ever look at him the same way, would he tell him to leave him alone again? Dylan was almost panicking. His self-doubt came to a stop when Paige decided it was time to step in.
"Um... guys, that was juicy but can we get along with the game?" She said sarcastically. Marco was startled; he sat back down and folded his hands together in a nervous manner. His expression was blank as he stared at his fiddling fingers.
"Marco I'm sorry, just caught up in the moment... ya' know?" Dylan said rather slowly. He swallowed hard, and looked patiently at the nervous Italian teen.
"Oh' ha, yeah I know." Marco answered blushing and trying really hard to smile and hold back tears. Why am I almost crying? He thought to himself of how ridiculous he must look.
"Anyway... Marco it's your turn to ask someone." Spinner said trying very hard to get the sappy love story moving without him in the room.
It was Monday, the most painful day of the week. The day of the week when you have to slink out of bed earlier then the day before, and dread the next six hours of your life. For Marco it was even more painful. He had to suck up his pride and face Dylan. He knew he was going to have Paige on his back all day and Spinner giving him disgusted faces throughout the day. Dread.
"Hi, Marco!" Ellie leaned against the locker next to Marco's. Her face lit up as she noticed a certain loose leaf piece of paper taped to the inside door of his locker.
"Yeah, I told you I adored it. I think it's in a nice place, right above my mirror. So it's kinda' like, love the man in the mirror more and the mirror less." Marco glanced in his mirror and finished his tszujing. (1) Ellie laughed at his joke and poked her head in front of his mirror.
"So, you never told me what happened at Jimmy's house," she said with a suspicious glare.
"Oh' nothing big, except if you would call kissing Dylan nothing big," He smiled with his CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? face.
"WHAT!?" She exasperated, "You just happened to forget to mention that!? Why didn't you call me? When, how? Oh' my friggin' god, you're kidding right!? Oh' my god, oh' my god!" She bounced up and down clutching her books and smirking.
"Shush, El! Well we were playing truth or dare, right? Paige dares me to kiss Dyl, so I do, and as I get up to sit back down he so pulls me back down and kisses me for like ever! Of course this was all followed by an awkward lull in the room, but what ever! El, it was awesome, although I did spend most of the weekend worrying about it. I should have told you, sorry. But I mean telling someone really helps the grieving process! Just kidding," they both laughed. Marco couldn't believe how much better he felt after telling Ellie. She really was a great friend.
"So totally pulls you down and kisses you like forever, huh?" Marco was speechless, who had heard him? He blushed madly, and turned around to find Dylan behind him, wearing his over-the-shoulder bag and an Abercrombie shirt with football written on it. He had his hair halfway tucked behind his ear, and the other half was almost covering his eyes. Marco blushed even more then he was when he saw Dylan. He was kind of hoping it would be Spinner that heard him however.
"Urm... I-I-" He didn't know what to say. Dylan chuckled.
"So you eat forth period, right? Maybe you could sit with me at lunch today. Bring Jimmy, or..." He looked at Ellie.
"Ellie," she said smiling.
"Ellie, nice to meet you," He said a little less enthusiastic then he'd hoped. He remembered Paige telling him about a girl named Ellie who had pretended to be Marco's girlfriend so he could stay closeted to his friends.
"Uh, yeah I'd l-love to," Marco was stuttering horribly and felt so embarrassed.
"Great!" Dylan said as he patted Marco's shoulder and smiled at Ellie. Then he casually walked down the busy hallway.
"Wow, he's so cute Marco," she said trying to get him to realize she was still standing there.
"Yeah... but I can't believe he heard what I said, how embarrassing was that!?" He said blushing then he slammed his locker door closed. Ellie laughed at him.
Marco walked into his classroom. He had gym. Which he loathed, Spinner had stopped changing in the locker room because of him. Marco told him to stop, and he ended up changing in the bathroom. Spinner was happy with the situation; Marco dreaded changing in the boy's bathroom it always smelt revolting.
As he walked into the gym, the guys were all playing basketball. He liked basketball season. He felt he really didn't stick out among the athletic people because a lot of people couldn't play that well. Jimmy always picked him to be on his team anyway too. That day, however, a ninth grade class had to join them. The girls had Dr. Sally visit them so the boys were left doing nothing. Mr. Armstrong decided to have them join his gym class; he also decided to pair up a tenth grader with an eleventh grader for trust falls. He said that the new partners would better there chance at trusting themselves in said activities.
Marco was partnered with Sean Cameron, who was the same age, he'd just been held back a year.
"You want to go first?" Marco asked Sean.
"No." He said bluntly.
"Okay..." Marco looked at him. He didn't know what to say... he didn't want to just fall and have Sean 'forget' what to do. Marco was somewhat afraid of Sean. He didn't really know him, but he did know that he hung out with Jay a lot.
"Are your going to fall or just stand there like a shit head?" Sean said, looking at Marco with annoyance.
"Urm, right," Marco turned around. "R-ready to fall."
"Fall away." Sean said with a tint of sarcasm. Marco leaned back to fall. But then stuck his foot out behind him, he got himself so worked up at the thought that Sean was going to drop him that he didn't want to risk looking like a 'shit head'.
"What the hell's your problem? I was going to catch you, you fag." Sean looked at him. Marco was so startled by what he'd just called him. Did he know? How? He hadn't told anyone... He doubted Spinner would tell a lower classmen, then again, he was friends with him...
"Uh...uh... sorry, I'm just..."
"Don't worry about." He all of a sudden changed from pissed to supportive, and it was freaking Marco out.
After gym Marco told Jimmy what happened. Jimmy said he hadn't told anyone. Marco figured that Sean probably read it on the bathroom wall before it had been washed off. Jimmy told him not to think about it, saying Sean was an idiot anyway. Marco sighed.
It was lunch time. Marco was so excited. He grabbed Ellie and together they looked around the lunch room to find Dylan's table.
"Looking for someone?" Dylan appeared behind them. He had a talent of sneaking up on people Marco pondered.
"Hey!" Marco said excitingly.
"Come on, I'm sitting over there," he said pointing to the corner of the cafeteria. "Oh," he said noticing they didn't have their food yet. "I'll meet you over there." He smiled and walked off.
They got their food and sat down at the table. Marco sat across from Dylan and Ellie next to him. Dylan had some friends sitting with him. He introduced them all to each other then they began to eat.
"So, Marco you like fruit?" One of Dylan's twelfth grade friends sarcastically asked. The others laughed.
"Shut up, man," Dylan said, kind of jokingly, but sort of serious.
"Just kidding, chill Dyl!" They laughed on. After some more talk about hockey, and what it's like to be a senior Marco gave his little 'gotta jet' and Ellie and him left. Marco was a little embarrassed. Apparently, Dylan's friends were aware of Marco's sexual orientation, much to Marco's dismay. He wasn't sure he wanted so many people to know just yet. However, they were Dylan's friends, so they must be trustworthy he thought to himself.
"Marco!"
"Dylan? What are you-"Marco looked at Dylan quite confused.
"I'm sorry about the guys, they're just kidding you know, they're really good guys. They're not going to tell anyone." It was as if Dylan could tell he was nervous about that. Marco smiled.
"Oh' course not," he smiled.
"Good. Okay, well I hope that wasn't too uncomfortable for you. The guys like you, they said you're like a mini-me, sadly. Just kissing."
"What?"
"Uh... just kidding? What's wrong?"
"Oh' nothing I just coulda' swore you said... never mind. I uh gotta jet. I'll catch up to later." With that he jogged off. I'm loosing my mind! He thought to himself. He so wanted to just tell Dylan but he didn't know if the kiss was just a 'in the moment' thing. Man, I coulda' sworn he said 'just kissing'... He blushed at the thought.
"Yo."
"Wha, uh... hi," Marco turned around to see a bored looking Sean behind him. His hands were in his pockets and he had his head phones around his neck. "What's up?"
"Dude, I know you're gay."
"Huh, wha... I-I," Marco panicked.
"Calm down dude. I'm only tellin' you I know because I want something from you." Sean's was still expressionless. What the hell was he talking about, Marco was nervous. Sean could tell and all of a sudden looked nervous too. "NO! Nothing like that, gross. No, I was wondering if you could hook me up with Ellie. You guys are friends, right?"
"Huh, yeah..." He didn't like where this was going.
"I won't tell anyone, I swear," he said raising his voice a little.
"Does El even know who you are?" Marco said a little angry with his proposition.
"Sure. Will you do it or not? Cause if ya don't-"
"You'll what?! Tell the whole school? I don't care!" Marco was about to cry. He was done. He was tired. He didn't want to pretend to be something he wasn't any longer. This was it, he thought. Everyone's going to know. He could handle it. He had Dylan, Ellie, Jimmy and everyone. He remembered Paige's words, outside Jimmy's house. She was right. He could be brave... like Dylan. No one was going to put him down for being something he can't help being, no one, not Jay not Sean not Spinner. He all of a sudden felt inspired by his own courage. There was no escape now, there wasn't a back door.
"Whoa, cool it Carson Kresseley. I'm not gunna spill your little secret, I just thought you could help me. I'm actually glad you didn't give into my blackmail, cause' if you did then I probably would've told Degrassi your secret." Marco was surprised. Jimmy was wrong, Sean's not that bad.
"Wow, you took me by surprise kinda'. Well, then yeah... Yeah! I'll help you out. I'll talk to Ellie!" He felt so much better. However, all that encouraging talk he'd just had to himself all of a sudden felt really worthless. He was actually opening up to the fact that sooner or later everyone would know. "Actually... do something for me?"
Authors Note: Darn, this one was kinda shorter... less dialogue I think. Sorry. Okay, also sorry for the lack of action between Marco and Dylan. Something will happen next chapter, I promise, I already know, and its gunna be INTENSE! Well hoped you enjoyed! u Please review with your thoughts, good or bad! u thanks for reading!
1. Well, anyone who watches Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is most likely familiar with this word. Its definition by the Queer eyes is: putting the finishing touches on ones hair or clothes.