The Department of Mysteries – Part One of Five

Rating/Warnings: PG, Fifth Book Spoilers, Plot Changes, Yaoi

A/N: This is how I interpret the Veil in relation to the RP that I am in. Enjoy.

In critical times for the one and only Sirius Black, the dark featured lad resorted to talking to himself. Sure, it made you look a tad nutty, but considering the situation, it can't usually be avoided. Oh well. Everyone's a bit bonkers sometimes.

Floating, half alive, half dead, Sirius tiredly started a list.

"I am...cold... I feel...cold... I want..."

He thought about it, feeling his thoughts whisper to him in the dark void of the veil. He didn't like what he heard, and ignored it. The weird falling feeling that he was experiencing fluttered and images from his memories shimmered into existence to join him. One particular person faded into his presence, smiling gently at Sirius as he knelt on the thick darkness to hug him. Sirius embraced him back, arms sliding through the shade's torso.

"How are you doing?" The specter asked.

"Cold, Moony." Sirius replied. "I don't know where I am..."

Remus sat back on his haunches, hands resting on his knees. His russet hair hung loosely around his kind face, going out in gentle waves. His bangs stopped just above amber eyes, and the longest locks barely dusted the top of his shoulders. Sirius gazed at him for a moment, not caring if he was real or if he was just a figment of his imagination. It took him a moment to register that he had said something. "What?"

"I said that I don't know where you are either." He said, and with an expression that Sirius never recalled him possessing, Remus tilted his head. "What do you want?"

"You." Sirius responded immediately, knowing the answer in his cold-filled bones. "I want to be warm."

"Maybe that's what you want," Remus agreed, "But that's not that reason."

"What? But that's all I ever-"

Remus interrupted him. "Yes, but what's the reason, Sirius?"

He looked helplessly at his hands, confused. "I...love you, Remus..." He said quietly, painfully.

"And?"

Exasperated, Sirius stood. "And? And what?"

Remus stood as well, examining at his face with a neutral expression. "Get in touch with your fuzzy side." He suggested. "Why do you want me?"

Sirius stared at him, shrugging powerlessly. "I – I don't know... I just do..." With a terrible aching in his chest, Sirius looked away. "What is this place?"

"How would I know?" Said Remus.

"You seem to know everything." Sirius replied.

"I didn't know about Peter."

Sirius spun to face Remus, shocked. "None of us did." He said, startled.

Remus nodded, passing through Sirius as he moved forward. The sensation was a strange one, and Sirius shivered. "You can't blame yourself forever."

"Neither can you."

Remus pinned him with a 'we're-talking-about-you-not-me' look. "I'm not the one trapped in guilt."

"I'm not trapped in guilt." Sirius muttered.

Remus raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. "Oh? And what do you think this place is?"