Disclaimer: I do not own any of the marauders or other characters that I use. BUT I DO own the right to manipulate them as long as I state that they are not mine. Heh.
-Last Chapter-
Remus: /Suddenly takes off down the hal/l COME BACK CHOCOLATE BAR!
James: NO! HIS OBSESSION WITH CHOCOLATE HAS RESURFACED!
Sirius: WE MUST DO SOMETHING! CHARGE!
/James and Sirius sprint after Remus, leaving Peter sobbing by the door. McGonagall comes out after hearing him/
McGonagall: MR. PETTIGREW! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!
Peter: /Doesn't notice McGonagall/ NO ONE LOVES ME! /Suddenly notices McGonagall/ Do YOU love me, professor?
McGonagall: /Inches away/ Erm, get to bed, Mr. Pettigrew.
Peter: /Continues to cry/ I FEEL SO ALONE! NO ONE LOVES ME!
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Chapter 2: Spying on Dumbledore
James: /Catches up with Remus and tackles him to the ground/ REMUS! CONTROL THE OBSESSION!
Remus: NO! I WANT MY CHOCOLATE!
Sirius: /Helps hold Remus down/ Remus! It's unhealthy! Let go of chocolate! It will ruin you!
Remus: /Crying because he can't get the chocolate/ But I want it so badly!
James: Look, I'll give you a…a pink…fluffy…bunny…if you control yourself!
Sirius: A pink fluffy bunny?
Remus: /Brightens up/ You mean like the ones that I played with as a child?
/Blank stares/
James: Uh…yeah.
Remus: /Jumps up/ Ok then!
Sirius: /mutters/ Unbelievable…
James: Well, let's go to bed. I'm tired.
Remus: Me too.
Sirius: Me three.
/Blank stares again/
Sirius: What? Did I say something wrong?
/James and Remus ignore him. The three start walking back to Gryffindor Tower. They fail to notice that Peter is gone and fall asleep/
Next day:
James: So, who shall we stalk next?
Sirius: I don't know…
Peter: I've got an idea!
/Blank stares again/
Peter: Um, never mind…
Sirius: Wait! I've got a plan! /Fade out/
/Fades back in at around midnight five nights later in the corridors. The Marauders are under the Invisibility cloak again/
Remus: Remind me why we're stalking Dumbledore for the fifth night in a row.
James: Because if we find out that Dumbledore likes McGonagall, and if we get proof, then we can use it as blackmail. Neither teacher will know about it!
Remus: Oh, ok. That's a pretty good plan.
James: I know. It was Sirius' idea.
Remus: /Jaw hits floor/ Impossible!
Sirius: /Begins crying/ That hurts, Remus!
Remus: I'm sorry! /Decides not to hug Sirius/
Sirius: If you're sorry then where's the hug?
Remus: I don't want a repeat of last time.
Sirius: Oh.
Peter: Hey, we're almost there!
/The group is passing by the staff room/
James: Peter, you dolt! We're going to Dumbledore's office, which has a door in it that leads to his bedroom!
Peter: How do you know that?
James: /Looks uncomfortable/ I'm James Potter, that's how!
Peter: Oh, ok.
Remus and Sirius: /begin snickering/
James: /Heads down the hallway and up to the stone gargoyle/ Sugar Quills.
/Gargoyle jumps to life and springs out of the way. Marauders head up stairs and into office/
Peter: Where's the door?
/The door is in plain site right across from them/
Sirius: If you'll excuse us for a minute. /Grabs Peter's collar and pulls him to the side, where he begins beating Peter's head/
Remus: Uh, Sirius? How's that going to help when it only makes Peter dumber?
James: /Smirks/ He must have been hit a lot as a baby, then.
Peter: Yeah…hey, wait a minute!
/Rest of the group ignores Peter/
Sirius: /Is still whacking Peter/
James: Sirius, stop hitting him. If you make him any dumber then he'll go up to McGonagall and tell her what we did tonight.
Sirius: Great Scott, you're right! /Stops hitting Peter/
Peter: You guys are all mean.
/Everyone ignores Peter again/
Remus: Well, are we going to get our blackmail or what?
Sirius: /Holds up camera/ Getting it.
/Everyone peers inside Dumbledore's bedroom. Inside, Dumbledore is staring at pictures of Madame Pomfry and McGonagall. Meanwhile, he is listening to the song "I don't want to be a chicken, I don't want to be a duck". He is doing the chicken dance in his pajamas/
James: …Sirius?
Sirius: Yes, Jamesy?
James: Do you see Dumbledore doing the chicken dance?
Sirius: Yes.
James: Ok. Just making sure that I was sane.
Sirius: You aren't sane.
James: Hmm, that's true.
Remus: Guys! Are we taking the pictures or what?
Sirius: All right, sheesh, just give me a minute. /Begins taking embarrassing photos of Dumbledore/ Ok, I'm done. Let's get out of here!
Peter: /Looking at Fawkes the Phoenix/ So…pretty…
/No one notices his new obsession. Instead, the other three hurry and leave without Peter/
Peter: /Notices they are gone/ Hey! Wait for me!
/No one waits. The Marauders go back to bed for the night/
Well, what do you think? I hope its funny. I need inspiration, though. So ideas are welcome. I've got a GREAT idea for the next chapter, though. So just hang tight and wait!
Reviews:
flirting-with-suicide: that's true, no one DOES love him. good thing, too.
Autumn Snow: I feel stupid, but what's OOC? And yes, he's obsessed with chocolate. What's better than being obsessed with a sweet to a point that you'd hunt for it?
piffluvsu: actually, I wrote the story. BUT I DID use some jokes between ash and I. BUT I STILL WROTE IT DOWN FIRST! MWAHAHA! Yes, too much free time anyway…and keep the purple penguins penned, please!
im1smartblonde: isn't randomness the best? Careful with the sporks…they're plotting…
R&R!
Jojo