Disclaimer: I do not own any Harry Potter characters. BUT, as seen last chapter, I can make the characters do what I want. Example: Dumbledore with the chicken dance. Mwahaha.
-Last Chapter-
Remus: Guys! Are we taking the pictures or what?
Sirius: All right, sheesh, just give me a minute. /Begins taking embarrassing photos of Dumbledore/ Ok, I'm done. Let's get out of here!
Peter: /Looking at Fawkes the Phoenix/ So…pretty…
/No one notices his new obsession. Instead, the other three hurry and leave without Peter/
Peter: /Notices they are gone/ Hey! Wait for me!
/No one waits. The Marauders go back to bed for the night/
Chapter 3: Snape Needs Mental Help
James: /Yawns and stretches/ Wake up! We've got plotting to do today!
Sirius: /Mutters/ Five more minutes…
James: /Hops out of bed and pours a bucket of ice water on Sirius' head/
Sirius: /Bolts upright/ James!
James: You wouldn't get up.
/By now Remus and Peter are up/
Remus: What's going on?
Sirius: James dumped water on my head!
Remus: Is that all?
Sirius: /Looks thoughtful/ Yeah, pretty much.
Remus: Ok.
James: Well, we've got to plan who we're going to stalk today.
Remus: Aren't we done yet? I mean, we've got blackmail on Dumbledore AND McGonagall. Who ELSE do you want to blackmail?
James and Sirius: Snape.
Remus: Oh, ok. Sounds good.
James: /Grins/ Good. We start tonight at midnight.
That night at Midnight:
/Marauders are under the invisibility cloak/
Sirius: Ow! Peter, watch where you're going!
Peter: I didn't step on your foot! That was Sirius!
Sirius: I AM Sirius!
Peter: Oh. Uh oh…
Sirius: What, did you think I was James?
Peter: /Silence/
Sirius: You did! /Smacks Peter on head/
James: What's wrong with thinking that you're me, Siri? It only means that he thought you were as good-looking as me.
Sirius: I look better than you!
James: Is that so?
Sirius: Yes! I've had more girlfriends!
James: So? I'm waiting on Lily Evans.
Sirius: Dude, she doesn't like you.
James: /Begins crying/ Don't say that! It's mean!
Remus: Looks like SOMEONES a little oversensitive…
James: /Straightens up/ Let's go find Snape.
Sirius and Remus: /Shake heads/
Peter: /Becomes distracted by an owl feather on the floor/ It's so pretty…
Sirius: Dolt. /Grabs Peter and drags him along/
/Marauders arrive at the entrance to Slytherin Tower. Say the password and go in up dormitory stairs and to the door to the fifth year boys' dormitory/
Sirius: /Jaw drops/ Am I dreaming?
James: /Also in shock/ I don't think so.
Remus: /Eyes wide/ I don't think so.
Peter: Is it Christmas yet?
James: /Whacks Peter on head and knocks him out/
Sirius: I'll give that a ten!
Remus: I second the motion!
Sirius: What's that mean?
Remus: I don't know, but it sounds cool.
Sirius: Oh ok.
/Marauders turn back to opening of door and look in. Snape's bed is closest to the door. He is sitting up in bed in Carebear Pajamas stroking a picture of Lily Evans/
Snape: Soon, my dear. Soon, we will be together…
James: Must…kill…Snape…
Sirius and Remus: /Hold James back/
Sirius: If we take humiliating pictures of him, copy them, and put them up all over the school, he'll die!
James: Oh, ok. Can I kill him before he dies of humiliation?
Remus: Yes.
James: Ok.
Sirius: /Begins taking pictures/
Snape: /Puts away picture of Lily and picks up something else. Marauders see that it is a teddy bear/ Well, time for bed, Mr. Booboo. We need our sleep for tomorrow.
James, Remus, and Sirius: /Trying VERY HARD not to laugh/
Snape: /Lies down on bed and sticks thumb in mouth/
Marauders: /STILL trying hard not to laugh/
James: Sirius, hurry and take more pictures.
Sirius: /Takes more pictures/ This is golden!
James: /Grins/ I know. This is perfect blackmail AND humiliation.
Remus: We'd better get going. Peter's waking up. Next thing you know, he'll start singing "I'm a Little Teapot".
James: Oh, right.
Marauders: /Drag Peter up to Gryffindor Tower and leave him in the Common Room/
James: Well, I'm going to bed. Night all.
Sirius: Night, James.
Remus: Night Sirius.
Sirius: Night Remus.
James: Just go to sleep!
Next morning:
/Pictures of Snape in Carebear pajamas, holding a teddy bear, and sucking his thumb are up all over the school/
Lily: Is that SNAPE?
James: Yup. Isn't it disgraceful?
Lily: More like embarrassing.
James: Same thing.
Snape: /Sees Lily talking to James/ NO! Lily! It's not what you think! /Starts to run forward and then is tripped by Sirius/
Lily: Um, I think I'm going to go now…
Snape: NO!
Marauders: You're pathetic.
Peter: You're cool! Who knew that there was someone who did the exact things I do before I go to bed!
James: /Glares at Peter/ He…will…not…get…Lily!
Peter: Uh oh.
James: /Runs after Peter, screaming hexes/
Sirius: Well, this should be interesting. /Two reclining chairs suddenly pop up behind him. He and Remus sit down/ Pass the popcorn, Remus.
Hey! Here's another chapter! I hope you all like it! I wanted to get this up on Thursday or Friday, but Thursday I had a track meet that started late, and it was Freezing Cold! I couldn't feel my hands OR legs! Well, that was before my 800 race. Anyway, sorry I didn't post sooner and I hope you like this!
Reviews:
SparkilyDragnStikers: Really, who's counting? I know I'm not. Yes, I'm glad you like this!
Mistress-Genari: Sorry it was cheesy. Was NOT going for that. I'm really hoping that this isn't cheesy. If it is, I'll have to hit my head with a brick.
piffluvsu: Yeah, it's easy to see Dumbledore doing that. That IS sad. And if you sick Inuyasha on me, I'll just give him ramen! Mwahahaha! Ok, I'm done…
Hi Im Crazy: HE IS SO STUPID! That's what makes it so great to hit him!
Ra's little pyro: Yeah, it's so fun to see people being mean to him. Yeah, they were friends, but that doesn't mean that the Marauders didn't hit him for being so stupid!
Sirius R Black: It's pretty easy to see Dumbledore doing the chicken dance, isn't it?
Ron's Best Mate: Updated as soon as possible! I'll try to update sooner next time!
Zork the Unbearable: I didn't know this was THAT good. I'm surprised that it's brilliant. But hey, I'm not complaining, so I'll go with it.
Autumn Snow: I'm glad you were just kidding about Remus and Sirius. That would have been WRONG.
SIRIUS-IS-MINE: Lol, that quote rocks! I can see a place for it in a future chapter evil grin Thanks for the idea!
R&R!
-Jojo-