Disclaimer: If I owned any of the Marauders or any of the other characters from the books, then Peter wouldn't be as stupid as he is in my story. I guess…
-Last Time-
Snape: /Sees Lily talking to James/ NO! Lily! It's not what you think! /Starts to run forward and then is tripped by Sirius/
Lily: Um, I think I'm going to go now…
Snape: NO!
Marauders: You're pathetic.
Peter: You're cool! Who knew that there was someone who did the exact things I do before I go to bed!
James: /Glares at Peter/ He…will…not…get…Lily!
Peter: Uh oh.
James: /Runs after Peter, screaming hexes/
Sirius: Well, this should be interesting. /Two reclining chairs suddenly pop up behind him. He and Remus sit down/ Pass the popcorn, Remus.
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Chapter 4: Wonder if Malfoy's a Girl…
Sirius: /Falls back on to bed/ I'm tired.
James: Me too. /Sighs/ But this is what happens when you blackmail Snape.
Remus: Well, I for one am glad it's over. Now we can go back to our normal lives without stalking anyone.
James and Sirius: /Surprised expression/
James: What do you mean, "without stalking anyone"?
Sirius: Didn't you know that we're still going to stalk people?
Remus: /Groans/ Haven't you had enough YET?
Sirius and James: NO!
Remus: /Sighs/ in defeat Fine. Who are we stalking this time?
James: /Devious grin/ Malfoy.
Remus: /Groans/ Do you have any idea how much trouble we could get into if we're caught?
James and Sirius: No.
Sirius: But doesn't the thought of mortally humiliating Malfoy sound like any fun to you?
Remus: Just a bit.
Sirius: Then it's settled! We stalk tonight!
James: Um, Sirius? It IS nighttime.
Sirius: Oh…tomorrow night, then!
Remus: /Whispers to James/ Does the thought of him leading us scare you?
James: What are you talking about? I'M the leader.
Remus: Oh…I knew that…
Peter: /Suddenly sits up on bed/ Who took my Chocolate Frogs?
Sirius: /Looks innocent/ Wasn't me. Must have been…a…Carebear…yeah…
Peter: The Carebears visit me at night? Yay! /Begins setting out sweets and pulls out pictures of Carebears/ I've got to get ready for them!
James: This is seriously disturbing.
Remus: I think I'm gonna be sick!
Sirius: NO! NOT THE CAREBEARS! THEY'VE HAUNTED ME MY WHOLE LIFE! MY EYES! THEY BURN AT THE SIGHT!
James: Calm down and let's go to the Common Room.
Sirius: /Stops screaming/ Okay. Sounds good.
/Sirius, James, and Remus leave the dormitory and stay in the Common Room over night so that they don't have to listen to Peter sing to his Carebear dolls/
Next Morning:
James: /Yawns and stretches/ Well, that wasn't the BEST night I've ever had…
Sirius: But it was better than hearing Peter giggle like a girl, thinking that the Carebears were coming.
James: Too true.
Remus: /Shudders at thought of Peter singing/ That was the most horrific event I've ever witnessed.
James and Sirius: Same here.
Sirius: /Suddenly brightens/ So, shall we go find Malfoy?
James and Remus: Yes, let's.
Around 11 that night:
Sirius: Are you sure that this is the way to the Slytherin's dormitory?
James: I'm positive. This is the way we came last night, after all.
Sirius: It is?
Remus: Yes! Don't you remember?
Sirius: Uh…no?
Remus: Oh.
Peter: Wow, he has a memory that rivals mine!
James: Peter, do you know what 'rivals' means?
Peter: Thinks for a moment Wait…er…I just…no! I can't remember! I don't know!
Remus: I knew it. It was just too big of a word.
James: It was only one syllable.
Remus: …Don't make fun of me just because you're dumber than I am!
James: What? I never said that! And that was just plain cruel, Remus! /Begins crying/
Remus: I'm so sorry, Jamesy! /Hugs James/
James: It's okay. /Hugs Remus back
Sirius: TOO MUCH LOVE! MAKE IT STOP!
James and Remus: /Stop hugging/
Sirius: Thanks.
/Group continues down to Slytherin Tower and up to the boy's dormitory. Looks through crack in door and James, Remus, and Sirius nearly fall over laughing/
/Inside room, Malfoy is dancing to a Brittney Spears CD, singing "Sometimes". He's wearing bright white pajamas with pink bunnies on them. He then bends down and kisses a picture of Lily. After that, he pulls out a bright pink tube of lip gloss and begins putting it on his lips, then kissing Lily's picture again/
James: /Gets VERY mad/ Must…kill…Malfoy…because…he…likes…Lily…
Sirius: Calm down, James.
James: BUT HE LOVES MY LILY!
Peter: She's not necessarily your Lily.
James: What does 'necessarily' mean? Huh? Huh?
Peter: Um…I DON'T KNOW! /Begins crying/
James: I knew it. /Whacks Peter numerous times until he is unconscious/
Sirius: Okay then…
Remus: Well, time for work.
Sirius: Agreed.
/Sirius starts taking pictures for blackmail/
Remus: Hey, we can get a lot of stuff with this incriminating evidence.
Sirius: Yeah. I can get a new broom!
Remus: I can buy more books!
James: I can buy Lily!
Sirius: Dude, girls can't be bought! How stupid can you be?
James: It was just a thought…
Remus: A very stupid thought.
James: /Begins crying/ I just want Lily to like me!
Remus: /Pats James on the back/ I know. Just wait it out.
James: /Sniffs/ Okay.
Sirius: Well, we're done. We should get back.
Remus and James: /Nod agreement/
/Group heads back to Gryffindor Tower dragging Peter. They leave him on the stairs this time and head up to their dormitory, only to find a note from a Carebear, saying that it loved the sweets and how much Peter loves the Carebears/
Sirius: NO! EVIL! GET IT AWAY! /Pulls out a crucifix/
James: Sirius, that won't work.
Sirius: NO! HOW WILL I PROTECT MYSELF?!
Remus: No idea.
Sirius: I feel so…unsafe. I need a hug.
/No one hugs him/
Sirius: I'm going to bed now. Goodnight.
/Marauders go to bed/
Next morning:
/Marauders go down to Great Hall, only to find Malfoy talking to Lily outside the doors/
Malfoy: And I just wanted to say, Lily, that I love you.
James: DIE MALFOY! /Lunges forward and lands between Lily and Malfoy/
Lily: /Slightly freaked out/ Ok, um, bye! /Runs off/
Malfoy: Wait! Lily! My love!
James: I'LL KILL YOU MALFOY!
Malfoy: /Runs away screaming like a girl/
James: /Chases after him/
Sirius: /Sighs/ Well, Remus. I'm hungry. Feel like going to breakfast?
Remus: Sure.
/James is trying to strangle Malfoy in the background. Remus and Sirius head into Great Hall without looking back/
Sorry I didn't update sooner. But yeah, things have been hectic. And we're getting ready for my brother's graduation, so it's gotten even BUSIER around my house. Anyway, on to reviews:
Hi Im Crazy: Snape IS pathetic. And Peter is so stupid! Only another reason to hurt him each chapter.
A.M.bookworm247: yeah, it might be bad if you laughed in class. That's the second time my fic has been called brilliant! Yay!
im1smartblonde: LOL. No, not the army of fuzzy multi-colored sporks! I hope I updated soon enough. O well. TIME TO ARM BATTLEMENTS!
Autumn Snow: Torturing Peter is awesome! Try it sometime. The fun never ends!
SIRIUS-IS-MINE: Yes, carebear pjs. Kind of odd for a guy…but oh well. Those quotes rock!!
o scorched eggy: no more American history with making fun of political leaders for Ashley! But if that happened, then things wouldn't be as funny. Yes, they need overhead lights in the wizarding world.
piffluvsu: too bad for you, because I don't accept anonymous reviews! Mwahahaha gag, cough, wheeze I'm fine. And calling people random names in Japanese (which they don't understand) is cruel and unusual torture!
Hope you all liked this. R&R!!
-Jojo-