Disclaimer: I do not own the Marauders. I wish I did, because then I could pull a HUGE end of the year prank, but I can't, because then I'll start high school in suspension. Rents wouldn't be happy. Anyway…
-Last Time-
/Marauders go down to Great Hall, only to find Malfoy talking to Lily outside the doors/
Malfoy: And I just wanted to say, Lily, that I love you.
James: DIE MALFOY! /Lunges forward and lands between Lily and Malfoy/
Lily: /Slightly freaked out/ Ok, um, bye! /Runs off/
Malfoy: Wait! Lily! My love!
James: I'LL KILL YOU MALFOY!
Malfoy: /Runs away screaming like a girl/
James: /Chases after him/
Sirius: /Sighs/ Well, Remus. I'm hungry. Feel like going to breakfast?
Remus: Sure.
/James is trying to strangle Malfoy in the background. Remus and Sirius head into Great Hall without looking back/
Chapter 5: Lily Doesn't Like a StalkerSirius: Well, I think our stalking has fallen down quite a bit.
James: What do you mean?
Sirius: Well, it's kind of lacking it's appeal.
James: Really? Well, what I think is that we need a new, different, unexpected victim.
Sirius: Really? Do tell.
James: Ok. It's Lily.
Sirius: OH GOD NO!
Remus: ARE YOU NUTS, JAMES?
James: Uh, yeah.
Remus: Oh. Well are you suicidal?
James: Oh, you mean like this one character in a book that starts screaming "I am Eggman! I am Eggman! I'm the Walrus! Goo goo joob!"?
Remus: Yeah, that person.
James: Then no.
Sirius: But Lily will skin us all ALIVE if she finds out we're stalking her.
James: I don't care!
Remus: /Mutters/ Nutcase…
Peter: /Turns around from playing with a Strawberry Shortcake doll/ What are you talking about?
Remus: /Upon seeing the doll, screams and jumps behind his bed, yelling for liberation from the doll/ MAKE IT GO AWAY! IT WILL KILL US ALL!
Sirius: /Ignores Remus/ We were talking about the next person we can stalk.
Peter: Oh. Say, do you guys want to play dress up?
/Sirius, James, and Remus scream and run from the room, yelling about demon possession/
Peter: Strange. Don't you think so too, Strawberry Shortcake?
That night:
/Boys are under the invisibility cloak/
Sirius: PETER, YOU BLOODY IDIOT! GET AWAY FROM ME!
James: What'd he do?
Sirius: He violated my personal space!
Remus: That's kind of what's happening to everyone at the moment.
Sirius: Not…that…way…
James and Remus: SICKO! /Whack Peter/
Peter: /Starts screaming like a girl, begging for forgiveness. Finally drops to the ground, mostly black and blue and unconscious/
James: /Smooths back hair/ Well, I'd say our job is done.
Remus: Yup.
/Group continues down the stairs and into the common room/
Sirius: /Throws off the invisibility cloak/ I HAVE ARRIVED! /Bows down/ Thank you, my beautiful public.
Remus: Uh, Sirius? There's no one here.
Sirius: …SHUT UP!
Remus: I DID NOTHING!
Sirius: I don't feel loved anymore.
Remus: Aw, Sirius… /Moves to hug Sirius/
Sirius: DON'T TOUCH ME! I DON'T HUG ANYONE, NOT EVEN MY GUY FRIENDS! /Holds up arms defensively/
Remus: /Hugs Sirius anyway/
Sirius: GET OFF ME!
James: Break it up, you two. We have a job to do.
Remus: You made a rhyme.
James: I did? /Thinks about what he said/ I DID!
Sirius: I'm so proud of you, Jamesy! You rhymed!
James: /Begins crying tears of joy/ This is the happiest day of my life!
Remus: Uh, guys? If we don't start moving, people will hear us.
James and Sirius: Oh.
Sirius: Well, how do we get up the stairs?
James: /Pulls a broom out of nowhere/
Sirius: Wow, amazing! How'd you do that?
James: I'm a magician. You can do it too!
Sirius: Really? /Pulls a bottle of Firewhiskey out of nowhere/ SWEETNESS!!! /Starts drinking it/
Remus: Ok, let's get on the broom and then head up to the dormitory WITH the invisibility cloak on.
James: Roger that.
Remus and Sirius: /Questioning looks/
James: Uh, never mind.
/The three guys mount the broom and fly up the staircase. They hover in the air, listening to the girls' conversation inside/
Lily: I told you Victoria, I don't like James!
James: NO!!!!!!!!!!! /Starts to fall off broom/
Remus: /Stops James from falling off broom/
James: Thanks.
Remus: No problem.
Sirius: SHH!
Victoria: Well, Lily, he seems to like you. Why don't you give him a chance?
Lily: Because he's arrogant, pigheaded, and annoying! He stalks people!
Remus: /Mutters/ Well, that's not much to change…
Victoria: Whatever.
James: I've heard enough. Let's go.
/Girl's dormitory door suddenly opens. Lily is standing before them in a pair of shorts and a white t-shirt/
Lily: I could've sworn I heard talking out here.
James: /Jumps off broom/ Hey, Lily!
Lily: Screams What are you doing?
James: I came to see you! /Grabs Lily's hand/ I know that I'm arrogant, pigheaded, annoying, and stubborn. But I'll change, because I love you Lily!
Lily: /Screams and faints/
Victoria: Uh, you better leave. She'll want your skin for this.
James: No, don't tear me away from my love!
/Suddenly, the stairs change, and James slides down, screaming for Lily/
Remus: It's time to go!
Sirius: Goodbye, Vicky!
James: /From bottom of stairs/ NO!!
Lily: /Suddenly wakes up/ Oh my God! All the guys who love me are maniacs!
James: /Yelling from the common room/ I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANY OF THE OTHER MANIACS!
Lily: It's gonna be a LONG day tomorrow…
Hey! Sorry it's taken so long to update! TOMORROW IS MY LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!
Reviews:
im1smartblonde: numbah three!! Go Kimmi!! You figured it out, too!! I'd give you a cookie, but I don't have a cookie. So I'll give you candy! I HATE BLACKMAIL!! GR! But I kno u wouldn't.
piffluvsu: yup, Lily's a stud. LEAVES ARE SO MUCH FUN TO JUMP IN!
Hi Im Crazy: I know, Peter IS dumb!
Autumn Snow: Carebears are SCARY.
SIRIUS-IS-MINE: a small price to pay for being the girl that James likes.
Cherry Chalk: Peter IS stupid! Torturing him is the best thing to do, though.
o scorched eggy: limited vocabularies are always fun! And yes, I get inspiration from you through our notes. Uh oh. What am I going to do over the summer?
Thank you all for reading my story and reviewing. I love you all!! R&R!
-Jojo-