Disclaimer: I do not own the Marauders. J.K. Rowling does, which I'm quite miffed about.
---Last Time---
James: Well, Sirius, we owe you an apology.
Remus: Yeah, we're sorry.
Sirius: Aw, it's ok, guys. Group hug!
Group hugs but Peter is kept out
Remus: Well, what should we do now?
James: I vote that we go raid the kitchens. How about it?
Sirius: Good idea.
Remus: But, first, I vote that we beat Peter unconscious and finish off the Twinkies.
Peter: NO!! Runs off screaming for his Mommy
Sirius: Well, that takes care of that. Cheers, mates.
------
Chapter 7: What is Moony Doing At Night?
James: /Sits down at Gryffindor Table for breakfast/ Well, mates, I'd say that today will be a good day. We don't have to see Snivellus and be reminded of those horrible pictures we took.
Sirius: /Nods in agreement/ That's what I love about our days off.
Remus: /Nods/
Silence
James: Oh, to hell with it all! We need to do something!
Sirius: But there's nothing to do, mate.
Remus: /Nods/
James: I don't care! I just need to get out of this bloody place!
Sirius: /Sarcastically/ Well in that case, just go stalk Evans.
James: /Brightens at the suggestion/ Perfect! Thanks, Sirius! /Runs out of Great Hall/
Sirius: /Yells/ I WAS BEING SARCASTIC, YOU DOLT!
Remus: Too late, he's gone.
Sirius: /Groans/ At least I've still got you, Moony.
Remus: /Pulls a book out of his bag and starts reading/ Yeah, you do, Sirius. /Goes back to reading/
Sirius: This sucks. No one cares enough to be my friend.
Peter: I'M your friend.
Sirius: Moony? Did you hear something?
Remus: /Engrossed in book/ Huh, uh, no, I didn't.
Sirius: Oh, ok.
Peter: Hello! I'm not invisible!
Sirius: Hey, maybe I should invite someone to sit across from me, what do you think, Moony?
Peter: I'M SITTING ACROSS FROM YOU!
Sirius: There it goes again. What could it be?
Peter: I'M WEARING MY CAREBEAR T-SHIRT! HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE ME!
Sirius: /Suddenly notices Peter in Carebear t-shirt/ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! /Dives under table/ Make it go away, Moony! It wants to kill me!
Remus: /Still reading/ Uh, yeah, sure, whatever…
Later that night up in boy's dormitory:
James: /Nursing a sore cheek/ Lily hits hard.
Remus: Well, that's what you get for stalking her. Again.
James: At least I figured out that she's taking Ancient Ruins. Now I can send her love notes.
Sirius: James, if you do that, I'm disowning you.
James: You're mean, you know that?
Sirius: No, I'm just devilishly good-looking.
Silence
Remus: Wow, that wasn't random… /Goes back to book/
Sirius: Well, it's true!
Remus: /Looks at watch/ Well, I've got to be going. See you all later! /Runs out of Gryffindor Tower/
James: /Suspicious look/ I wonder what he's doing, Padfoot.
Sirius: /Groans/ You aren't thinking of stalking again, are you?
James: Actually, I am.
Sirius: Great! Cause I wanted to do just that!
James: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!
/Boys pull on Invisibility Cloak and head out, leaving Peter with his Shortcake doll and dreams of the Carebears/
Ten Minutes Later:
James: OW! Padfoot, watch it!
Sirius: Well you try walking under a cloak with another guy! There's not much space!
James: I AM doing it, Padfoot!
Sirius: Oh, right…Sorry, Prongs. Forgot you were there…
James: Wow, don't I feel loved! /Begins crying/
Sirius: Oh, I'm sorry Jamesy! /Hugs James/
James: I'm sorry, too, Siri! /Hugs Sirius/
/Boys jump apart, coughing/
Sirius: I think we're done with THAT…
James: Agreed. Now, let's look for Remus…
Sirius: I thought I just saw him heading down to the dungeons…
James: Sweet. Now I can knick some ingredients for a love potion to use on Lily…
Sirius: /Gives James a weird look/ I worry about you, Prongs. I worry if you're straight or not. But then, I'm reminded that you STALK the GIRL you LIKE. Which only makes me worry more.
James: I'm happy for you. Are you done, or can we hurry up and find Remus?
Sirius: I'm done.
James: Ok.
/Boys head to dungeons, but Remus is not there/
James: ARGH! Where could Remus Bloody Lupin be?
Sirius: I don't know. Why don't you know? After all, you have the "highly intelligent" mind, Merlin.
James: That was yesterday. Today, my smarts are the same as yours, Sirius.
Sirius: We're doomed!
James: Do you realize that you just insulted yourself?
Sirius: Er…no I didn't!
James: That's right, you didn't!
Sirius: /Smug grin/
/Boys head down the halls aimlessly until they hear an evil cackle coming from a nearby classroom with green light coming from underneath the door/
James: /Whispers/ Do Nothing could be more obvious, could it?
Sirius: I don't think so.
James: Ok. On my mark. /Stands on one side of the door/
Sirius: /Stands on the other side/
Meanwhile:
Remus: /Standing over black cauldron with fog rising from it and green light coming from the potion/ Mwahahahahaha! Mwahahahaha! Ahaha /Cough, choke, splutter/ Ahahaha! With this potion, I shall take over the world and gain what I've always desired! The woman I love! Mwahahahaha!
James: /Nods/
/Sirius and James burst into the room, wands up/
James: Alright, nobody move! This is a stick up!
Sirius: Uh, James? Wrong line.
James: Oh, sorry.
Remus: What are you guys doing here?!
James: Following you!
Remus: Why?
Sirius: Um…for…reasons that you need not know. Yeah, that's it…
Remus: You forgot, didn't you?
Sirius: /Hangs head shamefully/ Yes…
James: So, Remus, who is the one you love?
Remus: /Looks uncomfortable/ Um, well, you wouldn't know her…
James: I know the name of every girl in the school. Try me.
Remus: Wow, you get around, don't you, Prongs?
James: Nah, I just hear a lot of gossip. Masquerading as a girl has its advantages.
Remus and Sirius: WHAT?!
James: Oh, um, nothing…
Remus: I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that…
Sirius: I'm trying to get rid of the visuals…
James: ANYWAY, Remus, who do you like?
Sirius: He likes Lily!
James: How do you know this, Padfoot? /Gives Moony a murderous look/ And if it's true, Moony, I'll kill you.
Sirius: Well, every guy likes Lily. Why should Moony be different?
James: Huh. Too true. I mean, no one can resist her. I mean, just look at her beautiful—
Sirius: GETTING TOO VISUAL!
James: I thought that every guy like Lily.
Sirius: I excluded myself from the count.
/Short pause/
James: God, Sirius! You could have told me if you got a sex change!
Sirius: WHAT THE HELL?!
Remus: BLOODY HELL, SIRIUS!
Sirius: I DIDN'T! James is being stupid as usual! He misunderstood me!
James: I did not!
Sirius: Well, if I got a sex change, then so did you, Mr. Cross-dresser!
James: /Points wand at Sirius/ TAKE THAT BACK!
Sirius: /Points wand at James/ NEVER!
James: You asked for it! Au Guard!
/Begin fighting, using their wands as swords/
Sirius: Touché.
James: What are you talking about?
Sirius: I don't know. I just thought that I should say it.
James: Oh.
Remus: ENOUGH!
/James and Sirius turn to look at Remus/
Remus: Let's just go back and plot ways to embarrass Snape, okay?
James: Sounds good to me.
Sirius: Me too.
/Boys head back/
Sirius: Hey, Moony, what was the potion for?
Remus: Oh, um,
world domination…/Thinking:/ No way. It
was to win Lily over! And THEN we would
take over the world!
James: Well, let's go get a good night's sleep. I want to be at my best when I embarrass Snivellus tomorrow.
Sirius: Agreed.
Remus: But guys. What will we do to him?
James, Sirius, and Remus: /Pondering looks/
James: We'll figure it out in the morning. Right now, I want to dream of Lily!
Sirius and Remus: /Groan and throw pillows at James/ Shut up and go to sleep, you dolt.
Hey! Well, I think it could have been better at the beginning. But the chapter is longer than normal, so I guess it all works out. Reviews:
im1smartblonde: /shifty eyes/ remember, we worked out the deal about the comps…and yeah, the threats worked pretty well.
Hi Im Crazy: Carebear Lover=NUTCASE! Twinkies rock!
SIRIUS-IS-MINE: a good moment in Sirius' life.
piffluvsu: he won't sell for much. The purple wiggle? Time to apply for life insurance with money that I don't have…but hey, that won't matter if I'm dead, right?
Cherry Chalk: Twinkies. Need I say more? Well, I've got to go give Peter his nightly dosage of torture. /Picks up mallet and walks out/
o scorched eggy: or COURSE we don't think alike. That's ridiculous. Let's work on the fic soon. And our stories are too much alike…
R&R!
Jojo