Disclaimer: The characters here belong completely to J.K. Rowling. I merely wished to express my deep respect for them, and for the author who has touched the imaginations and hearts of readers like no other… except perhaps Professor Tolkien. –grins-
The kitchen was bustling with activity though neither of the women in the room appeared to be doing anything. Two giant stew pots overtook most of the stovetop, one steaming away as it boiled while the other seemed content to be stirred slowly by an enchanted wooden spoon. The long counter along the west wall was lined with cutlery and other various utensils preparing vegetables while a bowl of salad was lazily being tossed by a set of silver tongs. Molly and Tonks sat across from each other at the table, leaning back unperturbed every so often to miss the plates and other pieces of table dressings that hovered by as the table set it itself while they talked quietly. A small smile tugged at the edges of the Tonks' lips every so often as the conversation was occasionally broken by Molly muttering mildly exasperated instructions to a misdirected piece of flatware.
"You always outdo yourself Molly", Tonks said with a smile. "We're never going to eat this much food, particularly with two of us on the mend." Her brow furrowed a bit as she tucked a few stray dark strands of hair behind her ear. In memory of her fallen cousin she had taken on his shoulder length, raven hair and mist colored eyes as part of her own mourning process. "And Remus may not have much of an appetite…"
"I don't care if he does, he's got to eat something", she said in her normal brook-no-argument tone. She gave a hard-nosed look to the woman in front of her to emphasize the point. "As do you, my dear, and you know I won't stand for any excuses. ("On the left, napkins go on the left.") She rolled her eyes as the green cloths flipped to the other side of the large soup bowls while the utensils righted themselves before focusing her attention back on a sniggering Tonks. "You know the only reason they let you out of St. Mungo's early is because I promised to look after you. And besides, you never know when someone may show up unexpectedly for a meal, particularly in this household." (Wine glasses? Honestly, it's not like we're having a party here, off you go…) She shooed off the offending glasses with her left hand looking a bit vexed while she waved down several simple pewter mugs from the oak cupboard behind her with her wand in her right.
Tonks managed to stifle chuckling, but she couldn't hide a small grin. "I know, and don't worry Molly, I promise I'll be a dutiful patient for awhile. Believe me, I'm still sore enough that I won't be doing much. Besides," she teased lightly, "I need to be well enough that my caretaker will let me go to King's Cross with everyone else in a few days." She picked up her wand and waved it at the salad bowl across the room as Molly shook her head chuckling lightly and stood to retrieve some fresh rolls from the oven. It was her turn to hide a smirk as she watched the determined look on Tonks' face. The younger woman looked exceedingly comical as she stubbornly held the tip of her tongue between her lips, obviously concentrating very hard on the task at hand. She was about to intervene when she saw the tongs still their tossing as the bowl ever so carefully levitated over to the middle of the table. She resisted the urge to clap, afraid her friend might think her patronizing, but her smile mirrored the expression on Tonks' face as she proudly looked up once the bowl was resting safely on the table.
"You're getting a lot better at that, my dear", Molly said fondly as she lifted the rolls out of the oven and began piling them in a basket.
"It's much easier if I only have to concentrate on one thing at a time", Tonks replied, still looking quite pleased with herself. She watched the stew pot gracefully empty itself into a large tureen on the counter next to it as Molly placed the rolls on the table, the combined aroma of potato leek soup and fresh bread wafting intoxicatingly throughout the kitchen. Despite her earlier protests of being less than hungry, her mouth made a liar of her as it started watering. "Do we have to wait for him to come down before we start?" she asked as she began to wave her wand in the direction of the tureen, attempting for another taste of domestic magic success. As the heavy crock began to tremble however, she was interrupted by Molly dashing over and catching the handles before she could lift it any further.
"Allow me, dear," she said as she smiled a little apologetically and carried the soup to the table. "And yes, we should wait, though I doubt it will be long now."
As usual, her intuition rang true as Remus walked through the door only moments later, thankfully looking like the bath did him some good. He smiled at Molly, but stopped short when he glanced down at Tonks, his breath catching in his chest. She saw something flash behind his eyes but he recovered too quickly for her to decide what it was. A moment later he placed a hand softly on her shoulder as he smiled gently down at her.
"You look like you could be his sister today, Tonks." She rose and turned to wrap him in a tight hug in one swift but soft movement. Molly busied herself checking the place settings for the fifth time while they silently clung to each other and shared in their pain. Tonks was the first to pull slowly away.
"Does it bother you?" she asked, making a vague reference to her appearance. "'Cause I'll change it…"
She quieted as he shook his head silently with a sad smile and ran his fingers tenderly through her hair. "No," he said softly, momentarily overwhelmed as he gazed into the eyes that were so hauntingly familiar. "I understand why you chose this, and I wouldn't dream of asking you to change the way you deal with your own feelings for the sake of mine." He leaned down and kissed her forehead lightly. "Besides," he said with a genuine smile, "that look really does become you." He squeezed her shoulders gently before turning to take his place at the table.
She smiled back at him as she took her seat again. "Bah, you're just saying that." He winked at her a little playfully before looking over at Molly who had finally decided she could sit down after making sure everything was taken care of.
"Tuck in," she said in response to his hopeful look as she began to serve them both.
They ate in silence for a while, just enjoying the food and taking comfort in each other's presence. It occurred to Remus that Molly really was doing her best to make things "normal" again, or at least as normal as they could be. It even didn't occur to him for several minutes that there was anything odd about Tonks being there.
"Not that I'm not happy to see you or anything Tonks, but how did you get here?" he ask as he broke open a roll and dipped it idly in his soup. "I didn't expect you to be home for a few days after that tumble you took."
"Welmf, ahkmum ennah…" Tonks' cheeks flushed pink.
"Honestly Tonks, you're as bad as the boys." Molly grinned as she watched the girl struggling to chew an oversized mouthful of salad that she had just unceremoniously stuffed in her mouth. "I escorted her back from St. Mungo's this morning before you woke up. They didn't want to let her go but I convinced them she'd be safer home with us." Remus had to chuckle imagining the talking-to that she must have given the nurses. "I had to promise that I'd take good care of her and not let her go gallivanting around like she usually does until she's healed up."
"Yeah," Tonks replied swallowing dramatically, "It'll be a few days. I broke my left arm in two places when I fell, plus they found about 30 compound fractures all over the place. I don't recommend falling down stone steps by the by." She shared a small smile with Remus. "They made me take a spoonful of that Skele-Gro stuff, and let me tell you, I have a newfound respect for Harry for enduring growing back all those bones two years ago." She shivered a bit at the memory. "It was bad enough just dealing with them knitting back together."
Remus nodded a bit and stirred his soup thoughtfully. "I find myself rather often these days with a newfound respect for Harry." The women both nodded their agreement silently as they picked at their food. Clearing his throat slightly to break the tension he had just caused, Remus glanced up at Molly briefly before continuing to eat. "So the children have all gone back to school then?"
"Yes, Dumbledore owled me this morning to let me know Ginny and Ron are getting better in the hospital wing, as is Hermione. Neville is fine as well I believe." She sighed a bit and stood to clear her place. "They were incredibly lucky they got out with what they did," she said briefly before deciding not to go any further with that topic. "I imagine Harry is with them now, those kids never can be separated long." She piled her plates in the sink and put the kettle on for tea before returning to the table. "Dumbledore also said that he told Harry everything after they got back to Hogwarts last night" she said a little pertly, and though her tone was lost on a satiated Tonks who sat laid back in her seat sunning in the light from the window like a content cat, Remus couldn't help but notice the hint of displeasure in her voice. He always was one to pick up on such subtleties.
"You don't think he should have told Harry about the prophecy?"
Molly tutted disapprovingly, her voice getting more agitated as she spoke. "Remus, above all else that that boy has gone through how can he possibly bear the knowledge of such responsibility on top of everything? Ever since he came into our world he's been half-wishing for a normal life, not a Muggle one mind you but at least one where he can live without someone either glorifying him or attacking him for his past, and every year it's gotten steadily worse. To be honest I haven't the slightest idea how he's managed to survive and still retain his heart and his sanity." She shook her head, taking a moment to calm her voice down after taking in the surprised look on Tonks' face. "The poor boy just lost his godfather, and right now undoubtedly wishes he could just be worrying about girls or his next exam rather than having to come to grips with the idea that the hope of the entire wizarding world lies solely on his barely sixteen year old shoulders." As if reacting to the weight of her words, the sunlight momentarily died in the room as a cloud passed before streaming in again to bathe the room in its warmth. "I don't question Dumbledore's wisdom or his decisions, I just wish it could have been done at a better time. It's not fair to do this to a child."
Tonks cleared away the rest of the dishes while Molly set about getting the table reset for tea, Remus sitting leaning on his hands, lost in thought. He rose a minute later and ran his hands through his hair before ushering Tonks gently back to her seat. "That's enough for you, my dear. You're body's doing more healing than mine, let an old man do it." After a quick "Scourgify" to the dishes in the sink, he set about putting away what was left of the food.
"I know it's not fair, Molly. No one will argue about that. But we all know, especially now, that things just aren't going to be getting any easier any time soon." He paused and leaned heavily against the sink, gazing out the window. "I think Dumbledore finally accepted that there wasn't going to be a better time and thought it best that Harry know, rather than not know. Perhaps we all need to accept it." He walked back to his seat as he heard the tea being poured. "You've seen how he's been this last year, Molly, so morose and suspicious about everyone keeping things from him. He can't stand being locked up and kept in the dark any more than Sirius could…" All three took a long, nervous sip of tea as the words settled thickly in the air. Molly couldn't help but notice that Remus looked very tired again. "All I'm saying is that right now Harry needs to feel safe and loved, and if that includes him being included and treated as the adult he is rapidly becoming, as I believe it does, then maybe his knowing will help him get through all this." Silence. He gave a half-hearted chuckle and looked at them both sadly. "Or at the very least, perhaps it will keep him from being so reckless in the next couple years."
"Somehow I doubt it," said Molly and Tonks in unison. The women shared a curious look before all three of them chuckled and sipped their tea.
As usual Molly wouldn't hear of either of them helping to clean up the rest of the mess from lunch and would only let them leave the room after exacting a promise from each of them that they would go take a nap.
"You are the consummate mother and caretaker Molly," Remus said as he kissed her cheek and gave her a grateful hug.
"Have to be with a family like mine," she replied affectionately as she returned the hug and winked at him. "Now off with you unless you want me to tuck you in."
He laughed. "I promised I'd go sleep a bit, and I will. I just have something I need to take care of first." She cocked her head curiously in a way that reminded him powerfully of Sirius, which made him smile. "I've decided to take up journal writing again."
"Ah," she said as she smiled back. "I saw that lovely book on your bed this morning and wondered if it was yours."
Remus looked a bit distant as he nodded slowly. "I found it under my pillow last night. Sirius left it for me."
She managed to hide her surprise well, not wanting to pry, especially when she knew he was so vulnerable. "Well then," she said comfortingly, "there's usually some good light in the library this time of day, and very few paintings to bother you if you like."
He met her eyes again in silent thankfulness and smiled. "Sounds like a good plan. Thanks for everything Molly."
"Anytime, dear," she replied fondly before turning her attention to reorganizing the kitchen.
He walked through the doorway and made his way upstairs, stopping briefly to peek in on Tonks and make sure she was ok. True to form, she was sprawled gracelessly on her bed already snoring softly in a full-blown, overstuffed food coma. He closed her door again slowly and padded silently to his own room, retrieving the journal and his favorite quill from the writing desk near the window. He reached for his bottle of black ink but his hand stopped before it could grab it. Sirius used gold ink… I wonder if it's still here somewhere? He began pawing carefully through each of the desk's drawers before he finally came upon what he was looking for. It had been stuffed in the deepest corner of the bottom drawer. He turned the bottle in his hand, admiring its unusual shape. It was like a pyramid with rounded edges, the pinnacle tapering gracefully into the typical corked top. As well, unlike most inkbottles that were made of rather thick protective glass, the glass in this particular bottle was thin and clear enough that he could even see the slow, smoke-like swirls dancing within the brilliant ink. He knew it was perfect.
Not five minutes later he was settled comfortably at a small table near one of the windows of the library. He opened the book almost with reverence and once again drank in the words of his beloved before turning to the next blank page. Smoothing the pages out carefully, he let his mind open and wander as he always did when starting a new journal. But it had been a long time and this was definitely a different circumstance than he was used to. After just sitting for several minutes tapping his quill on the page rather anxiously, he decided to just let go of the frustration and just ramble and see where his thoughts took him.
July 20
Dear heart,
First off, I love you, though beyond that I have no idea where to begin. It doesn't seem possible that it was less than twenty-four hours ago that you were standing beside me, laughing at Tonks' impression of Snape. You should see her now, love. She's changed her hair and eyes in honor of you, and as I told her, I don't think she's ever looked more beautiful. I'm not sure she fully believed me though.
There's so much happening all around us now, like the restless quiet before a storm. You'll be happy to know that everyone for the most part is fine, though it was a desperate close call for our Harry. Thank the gods for Dumbledore. After you fell, Harry went chasing after Bellatrix like a mad man and Dumbledore ended up narrowly saving him from both her and Voldemort, who unbelievably showed up at the Ministry in person. Luckily however, Fudge and his cronies witnessed him escaping with Bellatrix and so have to believe now that Dumbledore's been telling the truth for the last year. So at least in all of this yours, his, and Harry's name cannot be slandered any further. But that is a very small comfort.
I haven't seen Harry yet but I can imagine how he is. Though blessedly the prophecy eluded Voldemort's grasp, Dumbledore has finally decided that Harry be told the truth about everything, including the prophecy itself. I promise you my love, I will do everything in my power to watch over him in your stead, though I know I could never take your place and would never seek to. But honestly I'm at a complete loss. I don't know how to take care of myself right now, let alone anyone else. And besides that, I have no legal right to be his guardian so I am left with being merely one of his protectors. Forgive me, that sounded more bitter than I had intended, I'm just extremely torn about my place and responsibility in all this. I hate the fact that in a week's time he'll be back with those abhorrent Muggles instead of with us, here, where he belongs and can be looked after and loved as he deserves. I'm going to have to talk to Dumbledore about it, there –must- be something that can be done. I don't know, love. I feel utterly lost without you.
Forgive me, beloved, I nearly forgot to say thank you for this present. I absolutely love it, and am desperately thankful that you left it for me when you did. Perhaps you instinctively knew that we would soon be bearing this new separation when you placed it. Even now I can feel it comforting me because I have it as a reminder of you and your love. I already don't know what I would do without it. I will cherish it, and you, always. For now, however, I should probably go take some rest before Molly comes in and skins my hide. I know the two of you didn't always see eye to eye, but rest assured that she is taking care of me, and of all of us, extremely well. The Order is so incredibly lucky to have her.
Farewell for now, my dearest love. Farewell, but never goodbye.
Your loving soul,
Remus
The sun had traveled a good bit in the sky by the time he finished. He blew cool air softly over the last page watching the ink sparkle as it dried in the sunlight and cleaned off his quill before securing the stopper in its place. When he was sure it was dry, he closed the book gently and wound it shut, tucking it under his arm as he rose and walked quietly to the staircase, hoping he wouldn't attract Molly's attention. He chuckled a bit as he pictured what he must look like tiptoeing up the stairs like a guilty student traipsing around Hogwarts after hours. Gripping the book more tightly to him, he managed to make it back to his room without incident. Once a Marauder…, he thought with a grin as he closed the door silently behind him.
Though he didn't think he was tired enough to sleep he knew Molly would know if he didn't at least try, so he tucked the journal back into its place under his pillow and stretched out comfortably on the bed, closing his eyes and feeling slightly more at ease than he had since he had come home. The journal was definitely helping. It wasn't long however, before thoughts and memories of four young Marauder's and their adventures around their old stomping grounds morphed into the world of dreams.
Big thank you to:
Angelican: my only love, and the inspiration for much of my writing here. I know you recognize much of the things I have included in these chapters. Thank you for always supporting me. I love you.
Athena: for your kind words of encouragement and for still being sweet after receiving three emails from me in one afternoon. ;)
Calebalqua: hope I spelled that right, sweetheart. You rock, thanks for sharing my story with me and for forever being the incredible friend you are.