Harry Potter and the Fortune Cookies of Doom
Summary: Harry Potter and friends, Ron and Hermione open a fortune cookie at dinner and are thrown back in time to the years of the Marauders! What chaos will they go through? And will Voldemort EVER find his golden toilet?
Disclaimer: JK owns it all . . .I only own the magical Fortune Cookies and the Golden Toilet.
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"Let's see . . .Moony, did you get the goods?"
"All right here."
"Great. Wormtail, have you seen . . .?"
"Yep. All asleep."
"Excellent." A boy with black, messy hair and round, thin rimmed glasses rubbed his hands together, like those evil dudes in movies. At least that's what he thought that they were called. They could have been 'nookies' too. He wasn't sure.
"Prongs, Subject L.E. moving to Sector D6. I REPEAT! SUBJECT L.E. IS"
"OKAY SIRIUS! I get it. She's going to the Common Room. Okay. Jeez." James Potter was currently in the process of telling off his best friend, Sirius Black. Actually, before that, the two boys had been plotting revenge against HER. Lillian Evens, who, in James' opinion was the cutest redhead to ever grace his presence. Why did he want revenge, you ask?
He had to get her back for telling him to quit bugging Snivillus Snape last semester, while they were all still in fifth year. 'But he loves her!' You say. That may be so. BUT that doesn't stop him from turning her hair blue and switching her shampoo with magic bleach.
Remus Lupin had only just emerged from the girl's dorms accompanied by another boy, Peter Pettigrew. They were each carrying two bottles of shampoo/conditioner. Smiling evilly, James cackled like a witch and high fived Remus. Suddenly, Sirius burst into the room, rolling around on the floor like a secret agent.
After watching for a moment, Peter quickly stepped in Sirius' way, just when he was finishing up his somersault. He crashed into Peter, but Peter (being much fatter than him) stood his ground and watched Sirius squirm.
"Padfoot! Knock it off! What did you see?"
Apparently, Lily had fallen asleep in her dorm so Sirius could easily color her hair. He needed to retreat, because she had awoken, and decided to catch up on some late-night reading in the Common Room. Remus and Peter had sneaked into the dorms as well, and switched the shampoo with bleach, leaving James (seemingly) innocent. When Lily noticed her hair, he would go down and comfort her (as Sirius so beautifully put it).
"Alright men." James announced. "I'm going in." They boys saluted each other, and watched James march down the stairs. Lily was thumbing through her Charms Spellbook. Blue hair framed her face, and James fought not to laugh.
"Lily! When did you wake?" he asked pleasantly.
"Just now." She said, eyeing him carefully. "What's up?" 'DAMN!' James thought frantically. 'SHE KNOWS! HOW DOES SHE KNOW?'
"I was only . . . SWEET MERLIN! LILY! Did you see your hair?" He said, trying to sound surprised. Lily frowned and twisted a piece of her hair. Which was now blue.
"James Potter!" she said, obviously pissed off. "YOU WILL PAY!" she stood up and chased James back to the boy's dorms, ignoring James' cries of 'It wasn't me!' and 'I was upstairs the whole time!'
Remus, Sirius and Peter found it hard not to laugh as Lily grabbed James around the collar and started clawing at his neck. "Say goodbye to James boys!" she said as she prepared to jump onto him. "Bye, bud." Sirius said. Remus waved. Peter was still recovering from the entire ordeal.
Just as Lily was about to spring, there was a flash of light, and a boy with red hair landed on her. She fell under his weight, surprised, and quickly stood up. They watched as a boy who could have been James' twin fell onto the red-haired kid. Both the boys groaned and stood up, looking around.
"Ron?" asked the James' look-alike. "Where's Hermione?"
That question was soon to be answered, as a girl with bushy hair appeared out of no where and landed upon Sirius' head. Both people fell to the floor, and the girl slid into his lap. Sirius looked surprised at first, but then warmed up to the idea. He shook her gently.
"Hey!" he said, brushing hair out of her face. "Wake up! Your friends are here!" Hermione opened her eyes, and then she jumped out of Sirius' lap as if on fire. She hugged James.
"Where are we Harry?" she asked burying her head into his shirt. James was about to ask whom this lunatic thought she was, when his twin spoke.
"Hermione? I'm over here."
She glanced over at Harry and gasped. Stepping away from James, she squeaked and ran into Ron, who she hugged tightly. Then she looked up.
"Ron . . ."
"Yeah?" Ron got close to her face.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO US?" she screamed, making him wince, and the Marauders snigger. The only person who hadn't recovered was poor Lily, who was still staring in shock at Ron. Without warning, she fainted clear away. Harry seemed to be staring a lot at Lily, and caught her as she fell. Obviously, James was jealous. This guy had his good looks and everything! For all he knew, Lily would go out with HIM instead!
"Sirius? Lupin?" Ron asked faintly. Remus eyed him carefully. Who were these people? He had sure as heck never seen them before. Looking at Sirius, he saw that he was equally confused. I mean who WOULDN'T be weirded out if a pretty girl landed on them then ran to her friends, who happened to know their names?
Hermione kept staring at James. He began to think that this was unhealthy. "James Potter?" she said weakly. After he nodded, she fainted in the redheads' arms.
"Who the hell are you people?" Peter asked. He was mad. No one had said his name yet. The twin of James glanced at him. "Hello rat." He said rudely. Peter recoiled. Okay.
"I'm Ron Weasly." The redhead said, adjusting the girl in his arms. "This is Hermione Granger, and this is my best friend . . ." he was unsure of what to say.
"Harry Porter." Harry said, looking up from his future mother. James' eyes widened, as the two boys surveyed each other. Oh yeah. They could have passed as twins all right. Except this guy's eyes. They reminded him of someone . . .
"So, you fancy Evans huh?" James asked, coolly. He was going to figure out why there was a stranger staring at his future girl. Harry's eyebrows furrowed, and a look of sadness passed upon his face. Only for a moment though. It left as soon as it came. After throwing Peter pure looks of loathing (which made him shuffle off to a corner), the boys took the girls in their arms down to the Common Room.
Exchanging glances between one another, the Marauders followed. By the time they arrived downstairs, Harry and Ron had already left the portrait hole.
"That boy looks a lot like you, James." Remus said, seeing their cloaks disappear around a corner. "And they seem to know their way around too." He mused.
"Yeah I know." James watched as they fled into another corridor. "What did you do to them Peter? It looked like they hated you back there."
"I've never seen them before!" Peter argued. "Have you?"
"Nope. That girl though . . ." Sirius said dreamily. Remus slapped his head. "WHAT?" Sirius asked, staring after the boys ahead of them. "She was cute! It's not everyday a girl lands in your lap . . . and in our DORMITORY no less!"
The four friends agreed, and stopped walking as they watched Harry and Ron disappear into the infirmary. They saw Harry lay Lily down on a bed, still staring wistfully at her (making James' fist clench). Then the boys took Hermione and traveled down the hall towards Dumbledores' office.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
YAY! Chapter two is DONE! ME PROUD. Okay, now I want to know . . . how do you get bold and italics up? Thanks for all who like it! Please R&R! Feel
free to email me with suggestions!
Summary: Harry Potter and friends, Ron and Hermione open a fortune cookie at dinner and are thrown back in time to the years of the Marauders! What chaos will they go through? And will Voldemort EVER find his golden toilet?
Disclaimer: JK owns it all . . .I only own the magical Fortune Cookies and the Golden Toilet.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Let's see . . .Moony, did you get the goods?"
"All right here."
"Great. Wormtail, have you seen . . .?"
"Yep. All asleep."
"Excellent." A boy with black, messy hair and round, thin rimmed glasses rubbed his hands together, like those evil dudes in movies. At least that's what he thought that they were called. They could have been 'nookies' too. He wasn't sure.
"Prongs, Subject L.E. moving to Sector D6. I REPEAT! SUBJECT L.E. IS"
"OKAY SIRIUS! I get it. She's going to the Common Room. Okay. Jeez." James Potter was currently in the process of telling off his best friend, Sirius Black. Actually, before that, the two boys had been plotting revenge against HER. Lillian Evens, who, in James' opinion was the cutest redhead to ever grace his presence. Why did he want revenge, you ask?
He had to get her back for telling him to quit bugging Snivillus Snape last semester, while they were all still in fifth year. 'But he loves her!' You say. That may be so. BUT that doesn't stop him from turning her hair blue and switching her shampoo with magic bleach.
Remus Lupin had only just emerged from the girl's dorms accompanied by another boy, Peter Pettigrew. They were each carrying two bottles of shampoo/conditioner. Smiling evilly, James cackled like a witch and high fived Remus. Suddenly, Sirius burst into the room, rolling around on the floor like a secret agent.
After watching for a moment, Peter quickly stepped in Sirius' way, just when he was finishing up his somersault. He crashed into Peter, but Peter (being much fatter than him) stood his ground and watched Sirius squirm.
"Padfoot! Knock it off! What did you see?"
Apparently, Lily had fallen asleep in her dorm so Sirius could easily color her hair. He needed to retreat, because she had awoken, and decided to catch up on some late-night reading in the Common Room. Remus and Peter had sneaked into the dorms as well, and switched the shampoo with bleach, leaving James (seemingly) innocent. When Lily noticed her hair, he would go down and comfort her (as Sirius so beautifully put it).
"Alright men." James announced. "I'm going in." They boys saluted each other, and watched James march down the stairs. Lily was thumbing through her Charms Spellbook. Blue hair framed her face, and James fought not to laugh.
"Lily! When did you wake?" he asked pleasantly.
"Just now." She said, eyeing him carefully. "What's up?" 'DAMN!' James thought frantically. 'SHE KNOWS! HOW DOES SHE KNOW?'
"I was only . . . SWEET MERLIN! LILY! Did you see your hair?" He said, trying to sound surprised. Lily frowned and twisted a piece of her hair. Which was now blue.
"James Potter!" she said, obviously pissed off. "YOU WILL PAY!" she stood up and chased James back to the boy's dorms, ignoring James' cries of 'It wasn't me!' and 'I was upstairs the whole time!'
Remus, Sirius and Peter found it hard not to laugh as Lily grabbed James around the collar and started clawing at his neck. "Say goodbye to James boys!" she said as she prepared to jump onto him. "Bye, bud." Sirius said. Remus waved. Peter was still recovering from the entire ordeal.
Just as Lily was about to spring, there was a flash of light, and a boy with red hair landed on her. She fell under his weight, surprised, and quickly stood up. They watched as a boy who could have been James' twin fell onto the red-haired kid. Both the boys groaned and stood up, looking around.
"Ron?" asked the James' look-alike. "Where's Hermione?"
That question was soon to be answered, as a girl with bushy hair appeared out of no where and landed upon Sirius' head. Both people fell to the floor, and the girl slid into his lap. Sirius looked surprised at first, but then warmed up to the idea. He shook her gently.
"Hey!" he said, brushing hair out of her face. "Wake up! Your friends are here!" Hermione opened her eyes, and then she jumped out of Sirius' lap as if on fire. She hugged James.
"Where are we Harry?" she asked burying her head into his shirt. James was about to ask whom this lunatic thought she was, when his twin spoke.
"Hermione? I'm over here."
She glanced over at Harry and gasped. Stepping away from James, she squeaked and ran into Ron, who she hugged tightly. Then she looked up.
"Ron . . ."
"Yeah?" Ron got close to her face.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO US?" she screamed, making him wince, and the Marauders snigger. The only person who hadn't recovered was poor Lily, who was still staring in shock at Ron. Without warning, she fainted clear away. Harry seemed to be staring a lot at Lily, and caught her as she fell. Obviously, James was jealous. This guy had his good looks and everything! For all he knew, Lily would go out with HIM instead!
"Sirius? Lupin?" Ron asked faintly. Remus eyed him carefully. Who were these people? He had sure as heck never seen them before. Looking at Sirius, he saw that he was equally confused. I mean who WOULDN'T be weirded out if a pretty girl landed on them then ran to her friends, who happened to know their names?
Hermione kept staring at James. He began to think that this was unhealthy. "James Potter?" she said weakly. After he nodded, she fainted in the redheads' arms.
"Who the hell are you people?" Peter asked. He was mad. No one had said his name yet. The twin of James glanced at him. "Hello rat." He said rudely. Peter recoiled. Okay.
"I'm Ron Weasly." The redhead said, adjusting the girl in his arms. "This is Hermione Granger, and this is my best friend . . ." he was unsure of what to say.
"Harry Porter." Harry said, looking up from his future mother. James' eyes widened, as the two boys surveyed each other. Oh yeah. They could have passed as twins all right. Except this guy's eyes. They reminded him of someone . . .
"So, you fancy Evans huh?" James asked, coolly. He was going to figure out why there was a stranger staring at his future girl. Harry's eyebrows furrowed, and a look of sadness passed upon his face. Only for a moment though. It left as soon as it came. After throwing Peter pure looks of loathing (which made him shuffle off to a corner), the boys took the girls in their arms down to the Common Room.
Exchanging glances between one another, the Marauders followed. By the time they arrived downstairs, Harry and Ron had already left the portrait hole.
"That boy looks a lot like you, James." Remus said, seeing their cloaks disappear around a corner. "And they seem to know their way around too." He mused.
"Yeah I know." James watched as they fled into another corridor. "What did you do to them Peter? It looked like they hated you back there."
"I've never seen them before!" Peter argued. "Have you?"
"Nope. That girl though . . ." Sirius said dreamily. Remus slapped his head. "WHAT?" Sirius asked, staring after the boys ahead of them. "She was cute! It's not everyday a girl lands in your lap . . . and in our DORMITORY no less!"
The four friends agreed, and stopped walking as they watched Harry and Ron disappear into the infirmary. They saw Harry lay Lily down on a bed, still staring wistfully at her (making James' fist clench). Then the boys took Hermione and traveled down the hall towards Dumbledores' office.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
YAY! Chapter two is DONE! ME PROUD. Okay, now I want to know . . . how do you get bold and italics up? Thanks for all who like it! Please R&R! Feel
free to email me with suggestions!