Harry Potter and the Fortune Cookies of Doom
Summary: Harry Potter and friends, Ron and Hermione open a fortune cookie at dinner and are thrown back in time to the years of the Marauders! What chaos will they go through? And will Voldemort EVER find his golden toilet?
Disclaimer: JK owns it all . . . I only own the magical Fortune Cookies and the Golden Toilet.
A/N: ALL RIGHT! The third chapter! I'm so happy that all of you like it! First of all, I'm not sure if I should get Hermione into a relationship with Sirius . . . feel free to tell me what you think! NOW on to the PLOT! We switch for a while to Voldemort's P.O.V. to learn my plot twister! Don't worry, we'll see some of our main characters plenty soon!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Voldemort's P.O.V. (as if you didn't see that coming) 1996
'I need a new plan.'
'All this time I've wasted . . . it sucks. For the love of Merlin (not that I find Merlin appealing or anything), I'm a fricken snake-head who speaks snake language and lives in a big red chair. In a stupid cave west of Malaysia or something. With no wizard power.'
'Heck, with hardly any power at all.'
'I didn't say that. I have power. Plenty of it.'
'I got my loyal servants, a python for a pet, and plenty of people I could kill with the swish of a wand . . . finger . . . um. No. My Death Eaters usually kill for me now days. And Nagini has lots of fun with the poor muggle children.'
'I have just discovered how useless I truly am.'
'NO.'
'I do not enjoy the way this conversation is going. If you can call this a conversation. Damn, am I psycho too?'
'I refuse to admit it. I have lots of reasons for being here. Destruction, torture, killing off that blasted Potter kid . . .'
'Ooh how I despise that retched boy. Why is it that I am the most powerful being in the world, and as a baby he manages to strip me of all power? No matter. I'm back now. It will be fun playing around with him. But now . . .I got to find my power. But where did I put it?' (Tries thinking hard)
'Oh yeah.'
*End P.O.V.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Dumbledores' Office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry 1976
"Well children, you do have yourselves in a bit of a pickle, now don't you?" Dumbledore said, popping a lemon drop into his mouth. Hermione, who had since woken up, suppressed a giggle. The old wizard glanced at her strangely. She promptly wiped the smile off her face and tried not to think that maybe this guy had an unhealthy obsession with the muggle candies.
"What do you mean, Sir?" Harry asked, watching a baby Fawks rise from the ashes. It seemed that today was his Burning Day.
"I mean, Harry," Dumbledore said quietly, "that I have no way to get you back. The only way to get back to the future (a/n: a great movie, I might add) is to have someone from there come HERE and get you."
"What?" Ron piped up suddenly. "How does that happen? Even if they figure out we had a mishap with some strange time device, they won't have any idea where the heck we went to!"
"Everyone except for ME." Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. "You see, my future me should have already experienced this encounter with you, should he not? If I'm not mistaken, I should be able to remember this day, having it already being strange enough."
"So, we can get home?" Harry asked hopefully.
"I didn't say that." Dumbledore said, folding his arms. "I said that my future self might remember. But, in the course of about twenty years, anything is possible. I could have had a memory charm placed on me as to block out this very conversation." Hermione gasped at the thought of this.
"In other words, we're stuck until your future self figures out something?" Ron asked. Dumbledore nodded. "Now, I presume you'll be staying a while. I will allow you to stay in the guest dormitories, and," he handed them each a piece of parchment "write your school schedules down on these. You're all in Gryffindor, correct?" They nodded.
"Great. Password to the common room is 'Fawks Day'." He said, smiling at his phoenix, which let out a shrill cry of approval. "Make sure you don't say anything to give you away. It might alternate the future." He reminded them.
"Alright. Thanks Headmaster." Hermione said, and she ushered the boys out of the room.
"Harry? A word?" Dumbledore called. Harry beckoned him friends to meet him outside and sat down in his previously occupied seat. "Yes, Sir?"
"Harry, I sense strong power from you." Harry flushed. "And I have found something interesting that was lodged in between some crates in a cave. It matches your power, but only just. Look." And to Harry's IMMENSE surprise, Dumbledore pulled out a toilet from his robes. It was only about three inches tall, and golden. It glittered and glowed yellow.
"Maybe you should hang onto it." He said, his eyes twinkling even more than usual. Harry was still staring in wonder and fascination.
"Sir, what am I supposed to do walking around carrying a golden toilet?" Harry asked. "People with think I'm out of my mind!"
"Hide it in your pocket." Dumbledore suggested. "Keep it safe. And tell no one about it. Not even your friends out there."
"But WHY?" Harry said, tucking it into his robes. "I have a feeling it might be useful. Now, hurry to bed. We must announce you to the school tomorrow and then there's the dueling club!"
"Dueling Club?" Harry asked. He had always felt uneasy about dueling clubs ever since his second year, when he found he could speak Parseltounge and scared half the school into thinking that he was the Heir of Slytherin. Seeing the uneasy look on Harry's face, the Headmaster asked "Is something wrong?"
"What? Oh, no Sir. I was just remembering an unpleasant experience from my last dueling club." Dumbledore smiled, and sent Harry to his friends before allowing the baby Fawks to nip at his fingers.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Voldemort's P.O.V.
'Shit. This isn't good.'
'There's something I forgot. Damn. This makes no sense. I must have . . .'
'Oh. God.'
"NO! I KNEW IT! HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID? IGNORANT? BLUNT???" I shouted to the world, wondering if they could hear me in Canada.
I clenched my fists and hissed. This sucked beyond all belief. And I still had no idea what the hell I did wrong. I knew one thing though.
My power was in the hands of a person.
Namely: Harry Potter.
*End P.O.V.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Back in 1976
Harry was walking into his guest dormitory with Ron, as Hermione turned into a different room. They said goodnight, and were preparing to get some sleep, when his scar began to burn. Bad. It hurt almost as bad the Cruciatus Curse. Only nothing was worse than that. He touched his scar, and let out a low growl of pain.
"Harry?" Ron questioned. "What's wrong? Is it your scar?"
The pain was gone.
"Yeah," Harry answered, looking up at Ron with glinting eyes. "I think . . ."
"What?" Ron asked anxiously, fiddling with his bed hangings. "Is it something about You-Know-Who?"
"Yes." Harry said again. Ron turned his full attention to Harry. "I think . . .he's angry. No, furious is more like it." He knitted his eyebrows together.
"Really furious . . ."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Dum, dum, DUM!
That's the third chapter! I'm hoping to have Snape, along with Lily and the Marauders in the next chapter, which may not be posted until Friday 'cause I got school tomorrow and stuff (BANGS HEAD ON WALL). Hem hem. Sorry for all you school-geeks out there (j/k)! Continue to Read and Review with requests or suggestions (what's the difference?)
Summary: Harry Potter and friends, Ron and Hermione open a fortune cookie at dinner and are thrown back in time to the years of the Marauders! What chaos will they go through? And will Voldemort EVER find his golden toilet?
Disclaimer: JK owns it all . . . I only own the magical Fortune Cookies and the Golden Toilet.
A/N: ALL RIGHT! The third chapter! I'm so happy that all of you like it! First of all, I'm not sure if I should get Hermione into a relationship with Sirius . . . feel free to tell me what you think! NOW on to the PLOT! We switch for a while to Voldemort's P.O.V. to learn my plot twister! Don't worry, we'll see some of our main characters plenty soon!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Voldemort's P.O.V. (as if you didn't see that coming) 1996
'I need a new plan.'
'All this time I've wasted . . . it sucks. For the love of Merlin (not that I find Merlin appealing or anything), I'm a fricken snake-head who speaks snake language and lives in a big red chair. In a stupid cave west of Malaysia or something. With no wizard power.'
'Heck, with hardly any power at all.'
'I didn't say that. I have power. Plenty of it.'
'I got my loyal servants, a python for a pet, and plenty of people I could kill with the swish of a wand . . . finger . . . um. No. My Death Eaters usually kill for me now days. And Nagini has lots of fun with the poor muggle children.'
'I have just discovered how useless I truly am.'
'NO.'
'I do not enjoy the way this conversation is going. If you can call this a conversation. Damn, am I psycho too?'
'I refuse to admit it. I have lots of reasons for being here. Destruction, torture, killing off that blasted Potter kid . . .'
'Ooh how I despise that retched boy. Why is it that I am the most powerful being in the world, and as a baby he manages to strip me of all power? No matter. I'm back now. It will be fun playing around with him. But now . . .I got to find my power. But where did I put it?' (Tries thinking hard)
'Oh yeah.'
*End P.O.V.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Dumbledores' Office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry 1976
"Well children, you do have yourselves in a bit of a pickle, now don't you?" Dumbledore said, popping a lemon drop into his mouth. Hermione, who had since woken up, suppressed a giggle. The old wizard glanced at her strangely. She promptly wiped the smile off her face and tried not to think that maybe this guy had an unhealthy obsession with the muggle candies.
"What do you mean, Sir?" Harry asked, watching a baby Fawks rise from the ashes. It seemed that today was his Burning Day.
"I mean, Harry," Dumbledore said quietly, "that I have no way to get you back. The only way to get back to the future (a/n: a great movie, I might add) is to have someone from there come HERE and get you."
"What?" Ron piped up suddenly. "How does that happen? Even if they figure out we had a mishap with some strange time device, they won't have any idea where the heck we went to!"
"Everyone except for ME." Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. "You see, my future me should have already experienced this encounter with you, should he not? If I'm not mistaken, I should be able to remember this day, having it already being strange enough."
"So, we can get home?" Harry asked hopefully.
"I didn't say that." Dumbledore said, folding his arms. "I said that my future self might remember. But, in the course of about twenty years, anything is possible. I could have had a memory charm placed on me as to block out this very conversation." Hermione gasped at the thought of this.
"In other words, we're stuck until your future self figures out something?" Ron asked. Dumbledore nodded. "Now, I presume you'll be staying a while. I will allow you to stay in the guest dormitories, and," he handed them each a piece of parchment "write your school schedules down on these. You're all in Gryffindor, correct?" They nodded.
"Great. Password to the common room is 'Fawks Day'." He said, smiling at his phoenix, which let out a shrill cry of approval. "Make sure you don't say anything to give you away. It might alternate the future." He reminded them.
"Alright. Thanks Headmaster." Hermione said, and she ushered the boys out of the room.
"Harry? A word?" Dumbledore called. Harry beckoned him friends to meet him outside and sat down in his previously occupied seat. "Yes, Sir?"
"Harry, I sense strong power from you." Harry flushed. "And I have found something interesting that was lodged in between some crates in a cave. It matches your power, but only just. Look." And to Harry's IMMENSE surprise, Dumbledore pulled out a toilet from his robes. It was only about three inches tall, and golden. It glittered and glowed yellow.
"Maybe you should hang onto it." He said, his eyes twinkling even more than usual. Harry was still staring in wonder and fascination.
"Sir, what am I supposed to do walking around carrying a golden toilet?" Harry asked. "People with think I'm out of my mind!"
"Hide it in your pocket." Dumbledore suggested. "Keep it safe. And tell no one about it. Not even your friends out there."
"But WHY?" Harry said, tucking it into his robes. "I have a feeling it might be useful. Now, hurry to bed. We must announce you to the school tomorrow and then there's the dueling club!"
"Dueling Club?" Harry asked. He had always felt uneasy about dueling clubs ever since his second year, when he found he could speak Parseltounge and scared half the school into thinking that he was the Heir of Slytherin. Seeing the uneasy look on Harry's face, the Headmaster asked "Is something wrong?"
"What? Oh, no Sir. I was just remembering an unpleasant experience from my last dueling club." Dumbledore smiled, and sent Harry to his friends before allowing the baby Fawks to nip at his fingers.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Voldemort's P.O.V.
'Shit. This isn't good.'
'There's something I forgot. Damn. This makes no sense. I must have . . .'
'Oh. God.'
"NO! I KNEW IT! HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID? IGNORANT? BLUNT???" I shouted to the world, wondering if they could hear me in Canada.
I clenched my fists and hissed. This sucked beyond all belief. And I still had no idea what the hell I did wrong. I knew one thing though.
My power was in the hands of a person.
Namely: Harry Potter.
*End P.O.V.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Back in 1976
Harry was walking into his guest dormitory with Ron, as Hermione turned into a different room. They said goodnight, and were preparing to get some sleep, when his scar began to burn. Bad. It hurt almost as bad the Cruciatus Curse. Only nothing was worse than that. He touched his scar, and let out a low growl of pain.
"Harry?" Ron questioned. "What's wrong? Is it your scar?"
The pain was gone.
"Yeah," Harry answered, looking up at Ron with glinting eyes. "I think . . ."
"What?" Ron asked anxiously, fiddling with his bed hangings. "Is it something about You-Know-Who?"
"Yes." Harry said again. Ron turned his full attention to Harry. "I think . . .he's angry. No, furious is more like it." He knitted his eyebrows together.
"Really furious . . ."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Dum, dum, DUM!
That's the third chapter! I'm hoping to have Snape, along with Lily and the Marauders in the next chapter, which may not be posted until Friday 'cause I got school tomorrow and stuff (BANGS HEAD ON WALL). Hem hem. Sorry for all you school-geeks out there (j/k)! Continue to Read and Review with requests or suggestions (what's the difference?)