Mirae: ; I do not know what's been going on, but she's been acting like this since twelve noon...
Earu: Actually, last night. She was crying all night... But she won't tell us. And she's crying again now...
Eliwood: What's wrong, Kris- -=Cut off as she sets Elfire on Eliwood=-
Hitomi: Leave... Me... Alone... Let me write... My angst... -=Manages to say with choking sobs=-
Standard disclaimers apply
Hello
I look up at the sky, the big mass of blue...
Which is now nothing but cool shades of grey clouds, gathering up.
And I know that it would rain soon...
The skies were about to cry...
But I... I already began to cry, or struggling not to, of what seemed like forever ago...
playground school bell rings again
rain clouds come to play again
I cradled her body, hoping she would wake up. Hoping that she would be alive. Hoping that this would be a dream...
A horrible nightmare.
I buried my face into her bright-red locks, her body into my arms. Both of my hands held her own, as if to make an effort to warm her blood; which was now as cold as ice. But that couldn't be...
This couldn't be the reality...
My mind... It was just playing tricks on me...
Right?
....Right...?
Please... Someone wake me up... Wake me up from this illusion...
But why? ...Why do I feel so broken now?
Please Leila... Let me see you take in and take out your breath... You're not breathing now... Please...
Just give me a sign that you're alive...
has no one told you she's not breathing?
hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
hello
The day that we buried her body back in Ostia... With the royal family and the rest of those who have died serving Lord Uther or the esteemed Sires before him... It was hard for me to watch, it was hard for all of us to watch. Myself especially.
After Lucius had said some prayers and that her funeral was over, we were all now hanging about in Castle Ostia. The lords and the tactician were having a meeting of some sort. I could've sworn I heard Milord Hector cursing out loud while hearing Lord Eliwood and Lady Lyndis trying to calm down his distorted rage. And Hitomi, the Lady Tactician... Sniffling could be heard from her, and she could not help but blame herself for stalling and not being able to get to the Dread Isle on time...
It's not your fault, Milady Tactician... Really... I could be having a fit right now after the whole ordeal. Seeing Leila dead at the damned Dread Isle, blood tainting her delicate skin at her back... From the shoulder-blade to the hip... Monsters...
The Black Fang were tyrannical, cold-hearted bastards...
As I walked around the castle grounds, some of my comrades gave me sympathetic looks. Or exchanging to me, "I'm sorry of what happened... It must be pretty hard for you... If only we could've made it on time..."
I would just smile that crooked smile, the hollow smile that was the old me of what seemed like another life ago. That forced smile that got through to me to conceal at such hard times like this...
"No, no... I'm fine, really." I was managing an effort to be the happy, enigmatic theif I once was. I was just hoping my voice didn't once waver with the hidden sobs that I had kept inside.
"Are you sure?" They would all ask me this.
"I'm sure."
As soon as they went away, I shook my head sadly, letting my happy face drop its guard... Just a bit.
'If only they knew... Leila... No, I won't believe it... I'll just smile... Smile, try to be strong for Leila... But... Is that the best I can do?'
if I smile and don't believe
soon I know I'll wake from this dream
SLAP!
I remember that slap... That haunting sound that reflects upon my guilt.
The time before (Or was it after? I don't remember now...) the incident... I had lied to a close friend...
A female comrade...
Lying to her of what relation I had with Leila...
Oh yes, I lied...
But why? Even I do not know why I had lied to her...
But why did she slap me...? I betrayed her... I had broken her...
What I didn't know was that she...
She was infatuated with me.
My companions have been trying ro fix the shards that was once me. I assured them that I was fine, but they would not listen to me. They continued to do what they tried to do, but I was sort of pushing them away... I'm living a lie...
I do not want any pity... This is not real... It can't be real... This is just too good, even too true to be the real thing...
But why didn't she try to comfort me...? Was it because she was still holding a grudge of me denying something that I could not tell her about? Of what was none of her business of what my relation was with Leila? That she was in love with me, and that I didn't even know about it?
Oh, Mirae...
You do not know...
You do not know how empty I feel right now...
don't try to fix me i'm not broken
hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
don't cry
I stared up at the starlit sky, focusing into space...
It had been some time since this happened. Apparently, we made camp outside; about to close in on Linus. We just need rest to gain and strength to build. And I still don't look forward to this...
Especially when Jaffar, The Angel of Death, murderer of Leila, is fighting on our side. This is either because it's an irony that he could not stand the Black Fang either and betrayed them... Or that Fate really wants me to die. I do not know, but it seems that I am cursed... Damn my luck...
My amber eyes were now deadened and empty, lifeless. How I felt so empty, so incomplete... My body was stabbing chills from the grass's dew, but I pay no heed to it for I was deep-in-thought.
I did not notice her presence at all. Slender fingers began to stroke my hair and I let her, still looking straight ahead blankly. Her golden eyes had been watching me forlornly, softly... All in all, still brushing my hair delicately.
I looked up at those tawny eyes. Her dark-blue hair spilled over her shoulders, cascading down like a waterfall; no longer in the braid it was once in for her locks were disheveled. And so, she has nothing to say...
She feels the pain as well.
I sat up, trying to search for what she was about to say. My hands, cold and shaking, clutched onto her shoulders; squeezing them tightly in such despair as if to get an answer from her. Her expression was unreadeable now... How she was so good at concealing her emotions like the Lady Tactician was...
She was biting her lip, silence still embracing her. Mirae... What happened...?
I could not help but feel something inside of me finally snapped. All of the bottled emotions I have kept inside for so long ever since the predicament of my only love's life being taken away with no mercy, no remorse. The walls that had kept me in place, kept me safe and secured--not to mention secluded--for so long, they had finally collapsed.
Nobody could hear my choking, muffled sobs for as I just cried into her arms; falling into them. She only stroke my hair, humming a songless tune... A requiem, such a bittersweet sound... Mirae couldn't make me smile... For now, at least.
She was my friend, a friend to comfort and stand by my side. And even though I had deceived her at those days of what seemed like years ago, she was willing to forgive me. She forgave me...
Sniff...
Sniff...
I looked up through my tear-stained eyes and stared at her. For a moment, I thought I heard and saw what I thought...
No... My eyes widened in surprise, despite the tears that still fall down.
She... She couldn't be... But she was. A tear quietly crept out of her eye as she was sniffling... Then another... And another...
She was crying...
Mirae was quivering, looking vulnerable and about twelve-years-old. What happened to her? After seeing her being so strong with all of the hardships we had...
An almost silent cry of anguish escaped from her and I quickly held her into my my arms, cradling her. She was as desperate as I was for that I felt her tight grip onto my cloak, her fingers curling and uncurling; but they remained into tightly-curled fists. The sobs erupted from her throat, broken they were; every wail taking over her body.
I laid my head on top of her own, my tears mingling with her own. We were both lost and empty... We had to fight for survival...
She managed to say something, her face buried into my chest. Through a choking wail, she said out loud, her voice muffled:
"I'm sorry! ...I'm so sorry..."
My voice was hoarse as I responded, my tears dripping into her hair and I still cradled her while she held me back. "No... No... It's not your fault," My tone was barely a whisper now. "Nor is it mine. We have lost some things that were important to us... But we have to fight for what we want... Shhh, calm down... It's okay... I'm here for you as you are for me..."
suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
hello I'm still here
all that's left of yesterday
A lone figure was watching from a distance, seeing the two friends suffer together. Two broken hearts, unable to mend... But only time could heal them...
The holy-lit figure watched intently... Long scarlet-red hair adorned the head, covering half of the face. A ruby-red orb pierced through the dark-blue night, able to see the two comrades... Closing that eye, a lone tear rolled down her cheek.
"Matthew... Be strong while I'm not around..." These words were mouthed from her rose-bud lips as she slowly faded into the twilight, slipping away with her ghostly aura and all...
Hitomi: -=Still crying=-
Sephiroth: ...Dilandau, don't even think of whapping her on the head.
Dilandau: -=Apparently has ear-plugs on=- ¬.¬# But she won't shut up! She's been crying since last night! And I thought she said writing a fanfic like this would get all of the emptiness and vulnerability out of her!
Mirae: -=Mind communication with Dilandau=- But she said writing has only helped her slightly!
Dilandau: WHAT?! NOOO!
Matthew: Anyway... R & R! Sain, Lucius, Kent, take care of the Lady Tactician! Try putting her at ease, at least! After all... You three are her only sane FE7 muses, no pun intended!
Lucius/Sain/Kent: Yes, at once!
Eliwood: That was not a Matthew x OC romance. Mirae was infatuated with Matthew once before, but she is only a close friend to him now. Their friendship was stronger ever since they opened up and healed each other's verbal wounds. So don't think that this was a Matthew x OC romance because it's not.