Purple Monkeys
Disclaimer: No own, no sue, no money...only monkeys.
Authors Note: Here we are once again...yes. We have nothing else to say so just read the story and review...several times...and then tell your friends...and have them read and review it...and then all of you can have a whole conversation in the review section on how much you like our story...to much ego? I thought so...read anyways. (Uh, pacific? I think your scaring them.) P.S there are TWO of us! Pacific AND Crimson..... carry on!
Chapter Two
Fluffy pillows. Two of them, on a large heart shaped bed. Snape was scared. After finally making his way though a ship full of many, many, couples and even more slightly drunk groups of people, Snape had finally managed to find his room, and now it had pink fluffy pillows and the bed wasn't even that comfortable.
"What, did they run out of money and decided to cut down on costs by chopping off half the bed?" Snape thought to himself, eyeing his new resting space with distaste. From the moment he had boarded the ship, Snape had sensed that something was different, that something was slightly off, and now he knew what it was. Dumbledore hated him.
Only a person with a sick and twisted sense of humour would force him to spend four weeks on a sappy and happy ship where the levels of good feelings riveled that of a prozak filled recovery house. rubbing the bridge of his noes with his overly long fingers, Sanpe muttered "Damn you Albus." before storming out of his room, slaming the door behind him for good measure.
Sickened by his sickly pink room, Snape decided it was time for a walk. Wandering aimlessly between pairs of groping couples. "What kind of cruise from hell is this?" Snape muttered aloud, startled he whipped around at the voice behind him.
"You have the most beautiful teeth I've ever seen, care to give me a close up hot stuff?"
Snape strared, blinking abesntly at the young man standing before him. Putting on his most chilling glare , he looked down his hooked nose and (*dun dun duh!* "Shut up Crimson!") spat out "excuse me?"
The attractive young looked up at him, clicking his tounge he winked before saying "I'm in room 507, come visit me tonight." before dissapearing behind a particularily vocal couple.
Snape stared after him, thinking to himself "What the hell have you gotten me into this time Albus?" Looking around, Snape begain noticing a few things, for one, that there were alot of male couples madly clinging to each other. Shrugging, he blamed it on teenage horemones before continuing on his walk, ignoring the fact that most of them appeared to be in their twenties.
Comming to a door with a white sign reading Staff Only his curiousity got the better of him. Opening the door, he peered into the space behind it, only to see (*duh, duh, dun!* "I told you to be quiet Crimson!") a staircase leading down. Looking behind him he cringed, thinking that the dark and gloomy staircase was preferable to the mob of kissing, sappy, groping couples behind him.
Decending the stairs, he (*duh, duh, dun!* *hits Crimson over the head with a large bat*) paused on the landing to take in a deep breath, enjoying the smell of food. He walked thought the second doorway before freezing in his tracks, scared stiff by the sight of a sparkling, white tiled kitchen. Hearing a sound behind him he spun around, only to find a young female, a large and flashy pin saying Head Cheff pinned to her shirt.
"Can I help you? The kitchen is off limits to all passengers." Snape eyed her up and down before saying "And you would be?" Raising one thin eyebrow she motioned to her pin before saying "Can't you read?"
Normally Severus would have replied to such a snide remark by turning the person into a frog. She being a muggle he couldn't do this, although from the look on her face he began to think he might have to, she didn't look to happy.
Deciding to be civil, no matter how skewed his idea of civil may be, he decided to talk abit before returning to the deck above. "So, what do they call you?" he asked, his voice as close to polite as he could muster.
Raising her other eyebrow she barked back "Head cheff, now get out!"
Baiting her might be a better method he decided. "What's you name, it can't possibly be that terrible."
"If I tell you will you leave?"
"Yes"
"Well then, it's Spork."
"What? That's not a real nam-" he was however interuppted by a pair of hands shoving him out the same door before slaming it behind him. An audiable click could be heard from the other side, indicating that the door had been locked.
"Fine!" he yelled in the general direction of the door "I'm sure there are plenty of other females onboard that would enjoy the pleasures of my company!" A second clicking sound ensued before the door swung open again.
Confused, the head cheff stared out at him. "What?"
"You heard me" he smirked "there's plenty of other women that would love to be in my company"
"Do you want to know why I took this job?" she continued, not giving time to reply. "It's because this is a gay cruise, as in no females other then me on board, as in no one hits on me."
"What? Gay?"
"That's right, gay."
"As in male, male?"
"Yup"
"Your the only women?"
"Correct"
"Gay, as in guys attracted to each other?"
"Yes"
"I see."
Severus Snape had never had a worse day in his entiar existance. Stuck on a ship for four weeks with only one women on board. He made a mental note to kick Albus Dumbldores shins next chance he got. He then promptly fell in a dead faint.
to be continued!
Authors Extra Note: Thank you to all two of you who reviewed! Thank you muchly! Also, if you would rather not have Crimson type annoying and absured things like *duh, duh, dun* please tell us in your next review and I shall attempt to restrain her next time we write the next chapter. Till then! Tah! Tah! (Wow, that sounded so much less dorky out loud!)
Disclaimer: No own, no sue, no money...only monkeys.
Authors Note: Here we are once again...yes. We have nothing else to say so just read the story and review...several times...and then tell your friends...and have them read and review it...and then all of you can have a whole conversation in the review section on how much you like our story...to much ego? I thought so...read anyways. (Uh, pacific? I think your scaring them.) P.S there are TWO of us! Pacific AND Crimson..... carry on!
Chapter Two
Fluffy pillows. Two of them, on a large heart shaped bed. Snape was scared. After finally making his way though a ship full of many, many, couples and even more slightly drunk groups of people, Snape had finally managed to find his room, and now it had pink fluffy pillows and the bed wasn't even that comfortable.
"What, did they run out of money and decided to cut down on costs by chopping off half the bed?" Snape thought to himself, eyeing his new resting space with distaste. From the moment he had boarded the ship, Snape had sensed that something was different, that something was slightly off, and now he knew what it was. Dumbledore hated him.
Only a person with a sick and twisted sense of humour would force him to spend four weeks on a sappy and happy ship where the levels of good feelings riveled that of a prozak filled recovery house. rubbing the bridge of his noes with his overly long fingers, Sanpe muttered "Damn you Albus." before storming out of his room, slaming the door behind him for good measure.
Sickened by his sickly pink room, Snape decided it was time for a walk. Wandering aimlessly between pairs of groping couples. "What kind of cruise from hell is this?" Snape muttered aloud, startled he whipped around at the voice behind him.
"You have the most beautiful teeth I've ever seen, care to give me a close up hot stuff?"
Snape strared, blinking abesntly at the young man standing before him. Putting on his most chilling glare , he looked down his hooked nose and (*dun dun duh!* "Shut up Crimson!") spat out "excuse me?"
The attractive young looked up at him, clicking his tounge he winked before saying "I'm in room 507, come visit me tonight." before dissapearing behind a particularily vocal couple.
Snape stared after him, thinking to himself "What the hell have you gotten me into this time Albus?" Looking around, Snape begain noticing a few things, for one, that there were alot of male couples madly clinging to each other. Shrugging, he blamed it on teenage horemones before continuing on his walk, ignoring the fact that most of them appeared to be in their twenties.
Comming to a door with a white sign reading Staff Only his curiousity got the better of him. Opening the door, he peered into the space behind it, only to see (*duh, duh, dun!* "I told you to be quiet Crimson!") a staircase leading down. Looking behind him he cringed, thinking that the dark and gloomy staircase was preferable to the mob of kissing, sappy, groping couples behind him.
Decending the stairs, he (*duh, duh, dun!* *hits Crimson over the head with a large bat*) paused on the landing to take in a deep breath, enjoying the smell of food. He walked thought the second doorway before freezing in his tracks, scared stiff by the sight of a sparkling, white tiled kitchen. Hearing a sound behind him he spun around, only to find a young female, a large and flashy pin saying Head Cheff pinned to her shirt.
"Can I help you? The kitchen is off limits to all passengers." Snape eyed her up and down before saying "And you would be?" Raising one thin eyebrow she motioned to her pin before saying "Can't you read?"
Normally Severus would have replied to such a snide remark by turning the person into a frog. She being a muggle he couldn't do this, although from the look on her face he began to think he might have to, she didn't look to happy.
Deciding to be civil, no matter how skewed his idea of civil may be, he decided to talk abit before returning to the deck above. "So, what do they call you?" he asked, his voice as close to polite as he could muster.
Raising her other eyebrow she barked back "Head cheff, now get out!"
Baiting her might be a better method he decided. "What's you name, it can't possibly be that terrible."
"If I tell you will you leave?"
"Yes"
"Well then, it's Spork."
"What? That's not a real nam-" he was however interuppted by a pair of hands shoving him out the same door before slaming it behind him. An audiable click could be heard from the other side, indicating that the door had been locked.
"Fine!" he yelled in the general direction of the door "I'm sure there are plenty of other females onboard that would enjoy the pleasures of my company!" A second clicking sound ensued before the door swung open again.
Confused, the head cheff stared out at him. "What?"
"You heard me" he smirked "there's plenty of other women that would love to be in my company"
"Do you want to know why I took this job?" she continued, not giving time to reply. "It's because this is a gay cruise, as in no females other then me on board, as in no one hits on me."
"What? Gay?"
"That's right, gay."
"As in male, male?"
"Yup"
"Your the only women?"
"Correct"
"Gay, as in guys attracted to each other?"
"Yes"
"I see."
Severus Snape had never had a worse day in his entiar existance. Stuck on a ship for four weeks with only one women on board. He made a mental note to kick Albus Dumbldores shins next chance he got. He then promptly fell in a dead faint.
to be continued!
Authors Extra Note: Thank you to all two of you who reviewed! Thank you muchly! Also, if you would rather not have Crimson type annoying and absured things like *duh, duh, dun* please tell us in your next review and I shall attempt to restrain her next time we write the next chapter. Till then! Tah! Tah! (Wow, that sounded so much less dorky out loud!)