The Family Name
By Elbereth in April
A/N: I had the next part typed and ready to be downloaded when my computer crashed with (drum roll) 67 worms, and I had to wipe the hard drive as well as download the worm fixer-upper patches. So I have spent some time frustrated and depressed as I mourn my lost files, of which there are many. At any rate, here is this chapter at last.
Chapter 26
The plan was set to begin Thursday morning. In the meantime, there were Wednesday classes to get through. Lockhart was standing at the front of the class, flashing his "most charming" smile. On a table next to him he had a small covered cage. He reached over and pulled off the cloth. Inside was a fat, fluffy bird, peacefully asleep.
"This is a Diricawl!" Lockhart announced. "It's a bird--but it can't fly. Muggles call it a dodo; they wrongly think that it's extinct. It can vanish in a puff of feathers and reappear elsewhere. Unless you--ha ha--cleverly cast a Somnulus on it, so it will stay in one place."
At that exact instant, its eyes opened as the Diricawl woke up. It took one look around, panicked, and disappeared (in a puff of feathers) and popped back into existence on Lockhart's head.
The entire class (except, of course, Artemis) burst out laughing. Lockhart's smile turned a bit sickly. "Now, now, not to worry. They can be captured again." His hand shot up but the bird had already vanished and he only ended up slapping himself on the head.
The bird reappeared on Millicent's desk. She leaned backward and waved her hand at it. "Shoo, go away!"
"Vince, Greg," Draco instructed lazily, "help the professor catch the poor thing."
They stared at him blankly. He winked. "Oh," said Crabbe, grinning. "Sure."
He jumped up and started chasing it, intent only on creating more havoc in the name of "helping." Goyle caught on at once and joined him. The Diricawl began transporting itself all around the room in bursts and pops. The Slytherins were laughing helplessly. Fowl was smirking. Lockhart was whining.
Then the bird teleported itself on top of three precariously stacked crates, knocking them over. The lids came off and the slumbering creatures inside woke up and began to move around.
"What--?" Marie began, clutching onto Blaise's arm as dozens of small blue bodies rose into the air. They were half-an-inch long, a vivid sapphire, with wings on top their heads and a long thin sting at the bottom. They hovered for a moment, then, so fast the eye could hardly follow, their wings began to rotate, and they began to spin.
"Billywigs!" Zabini exclaimed. "Oh no!"
Then the Billywigs were flying all over the room, amongst the students, like a swarm of gnats. The first one stung was Pansy, who made the mistake of swatting at them. She suddenly started to giggle, and after a few seconds, began to float upwards towards the ceiling.
"Pansy, too bad you aren't wearing your lilac-colored knickers," Draco called up to her.
"Malfoy!" all the girls yelled at him.
"What?"
"No problem, not to worry, I'll get you down in a jiffy," Lockhart exclaimed.
"Uh oh," Zabini muttered as Eva covered her eyes.
Bulstrode looked horrified. "Sir, that may be a bad idea," she started to say, but Lockhart ignored her, raising his wand and squinting up at Pansy.
"Ouch!" Everyone turned to look at Crabbe, who now had a strange, giddy expression on his face. "Uh oh," Zabini said again as Crabbe rose into the air.
Then Eva was giggling madly and rising upward, and then Goyle. "Oh, you've all come to join me!" Parkinson cried happily. She grabbed Greg's hands and spun them around in a circle.
"You'll make him sick," Draco loudly advised her, and the students moved as one away from underneath the dancing duo. Draco grinned, quite enjoying himself.
Not to be outdone, Crabbe pulled Eva into a dance.
"Eva, you're no fun!" Draco yelled in disappointment as the girl gathered her skirts around her to prevent Draco from peeking at her knickers while she twirled.
"They're white," Pansy told on her, still giggling, "with orange flowers."
"Parkinson!" Eva shrieked, momentarily stopping her spinning.
Draco started snickering. The Diricawl chose that moment to appear on his shoulder. He automatically dove sideways out of his seat, knocking against a set of shelves containing piles of papers. The shelf tilted and crashed and papers rained down around him.
"Afraid of a bird, Malfoy?" Fowl smirked at him as papers floated down and settled on Draco's head and lap.
"Seeker's reflexes. Maybe a bit of paranoia." Draco shrugged, unconcerned. He brushed the papers off himself and started to stand up when one piece of parchment in particular caught his eye. He picked it up and stared at it. The first few sentences were in his father's handwriting.
"Lockhart," it read, "how are you progressing on your research? You know I am not a patient man. I suggest you have good news for me--soon."
Attached to this was another parchment, in Lockhart's hand. "Copy of my reply to LM:
"It is good news, indeed. What follows is a summarization of what I have discovered so far. . ." Draco glanced around, saw that no one was watching him, and stuffed the whole thing in his robe pocket.
The rest of the class were watching Zabini, who was hanging onto his desk to keep from floating away, although this caused him to turn upside down. "Why do I even come to this class?" he was complaining.
"At least you're wearing trousers!" Eva yelled down to him.
"Lockhart is so incompetent," Chevalier sighed.
"Shall I go get Prof. Snape?" Millicent asked their DADA instructor.
Lockhart blinked, seeming to come out of a daze. "What? Why would you do that, silly girl? You have me!" He cleared his throat, waved his wand again- -everyone ducked, and Zabini screwed his eyes shut. "Oppositum Leviosa!"
The afflicted students all slowly levitated back down. "It's a miracle!" Eva exclaimed as her feet touched the floor. The class exchanged incredulous looks.
"Accio Diricawl!" The bird squawked and popped into existence at Lockhart's feet. "Somnulus." It fell asleep again and he put it back in the cage.
"Maybe we're mass hallucinating," suggested Blaise.
"Maybe he's just been having a bad year up til now." Pansy gazed at the professor with something like her old adoration.
"Maybe he's an imposter." Crabbe regarded him suspiciously.
"Class dismissed," Lockhart announced. "I shall deal with these pesky Billywigs."
Somewhat dazed, the class gathered their things and left.
"Well, that was strange," Marie commented.
The day passed without further incident. Bright and early Thursday morning, Draco slipped into a room near the Potions lab. Artemis was already there, re-reading a book called "Auror Training, vol. 4, Advanced Tracking Charms."
Artemis pointed at page 79. "This is the spell we're going to use to find the spies."
"What does it do?"
"It will cause the person watching you to radiate with a magical glow only observable to the caster of the spell. I propose we cast it and then stake out the entrance to the Great Hall. Eventually everyone in the school will go through those doors and into breakfast. We observe everyone and see who glows. Then we'll speak to them individually and convince them that being a spy is a risky occupation."
"Sounds good. Are you sure you blocked all of the magical means of spying on me already?"
"Positive. I've cast all those same charms on myself as well. I imagine Lucius and Fudge are both feeling thoroughly frustrated right now. Of course, the beauty of these spells is that the interference seems natural, and not as if a person is deliberately blocking them."
"Well, let's get on with it then."
"We'll both cast the spell. That way if one of us misses something, the other should notice."
They proceeded to do so. It was complicated, but both boys were very good at magic.
"Shall we see if it worked?" Artemis asked.
"One thing first. . . remember in History of Magic, when you asked about leprechauns? You were amused by Binns's answer. You got that 'I know something you don't' expression. Was there a reason?"
Artemis's eyes narrowed. "You think you can tell when I know something, Malfoy?"
Draco smirked, feeling a bit superior and quite proud of himself. "Yes, Fowl. Know your enemy, right? I've been watching you for quite some time now, and I think I know you fairly well. Oh, mostly you're still a mystery-- you're a very complicated human being. But still. . . I get insights, sometimes."
Artemis frowned. He'd have to work on that. It made him feel very vulnerable and exposed.
"But that's not the point," Draco continued. "What about my question?"
"Why do you ask?"
Draco hesitated, then pulled a rolled-up parchment out of his pocket. "Lockhart and my father seem to be studying them."
Artemis's eyebrows shot up. Draco held out the paper and he took it. Artemis started reading, "Leprechauns are a breed of fairy with powerful magic. They can grant wishes, heal, kill, cast glamours, and use Muggle weapons and technology. Their magic is drained after repeated use. It may be possible to steal their magic and channel it into YKW to return him back to full life. . ." He looked at Draco. "YKW, I'm assuming, means You-Know- Who." Draco nodded and he resumed reading. "They are known to frequent places of strong magic, locales of ancient legend, i.e. Tara, the Isle of Glass, the Giant's Dance. If you can avoid their glamour, it should be possible to catch one."
Draco took a step closer. "What do you think?"
"Where did you get this?"
"Out of that pile of papers that fell on me in the DADA room. It appears to be a copy of research notes that Lockhart sent my father."
"Do you know if they've actually caught one?"
Was it his imagination, or did Fowl's voice seem tenser than normal? "How would I know? It's not like my father tells me anything, and I haven't been home."
"Keep this quiet for the moment. I need to think about this."
"But is it true? What Lockhart says about leprechauns--is he right?"
Artemis held a mental debate, weighing all the consequences and relative personal gains. "You can't tell anyone about this, Malfoy. It would be very dangerous for you, so promise."
"I promise."
"Yes, it's true. They're very powerful fairies. They've kept their race secret from humans for centuries. That's one of their main priorities, in fact. They wouldn't be happy about this."
"Understandable." Malfoy looked thoughtful.
"Anyway, I'll deal with that later. Right now, let's go watch the Great Hall."
There were two spies, a Third Year boy from Slytherin and a Sixth Year girl in Ravenclaw. "Lance Donnelon," Draco identified them, "and Charity Cobalt."
"Very well. The next step is to learn about our informants in order to better persuade them."
Draco smirked. "You mean find out their dirty secrets so we can blackmail them, don't you?"
"It's all in the phrasing, Malfoy."
That afternoon, Artemis e-mailed his bodyguard. "Dear Butler, I need you to find out why these two students are following Lucius Malfoy's orders. Dig up as much information on them as you can. The dirtier the better. One other thing--Lucius is apparently going to try to kidnap a LEP Recon and drain their magic to reanimate Voldemort."
Friday, Butler and Artemis conversed via Instant Messenger. "Dear Artemis, From all I've heard Voldemort alive again would be a bad thing. Plus, we owe the fairies something. We can't ignore this."
"Butler, we don't owe them anything. I returned Miss Root safely. Don't forget, they did let a troll loose in my house that nearly killed you."
"True, but Holly healed me."
"She only healed you because she didn't want the troll to eat her, too."
"We can at least let them know."
"That may be possible. What about my names?"
"Cobalt is being bribed and Donnelon is being blackmailed."
Draco threw his bag under the table and sat down next to Artemis. "I ran into Virginia Weasley in the library. She tried to give me a message for you, but I told her I don't talk to you voluntarily."
Artemis frowned. "I wonder what she wanted."
"She wanted to tell you that Granger is absolutely crazy over you."
Artemis looked at him in complete shock. "What?"
"Well, OK, she didn't actually say that. . ."
"Malfoy, you prat!"
"But I think you two are perfect for each other. Both utter nerds. You should make a move."
"I'm not interested in Granger," Artemis said through clenched teeth.
"Fine. Go after Eva. She's been eyeing you all year."
"I have no romantic interests. Now shut up."
"You're dead boring. But never mind, don't you want to hear what Weasley actually said?" He continued right on without waiting for an answer. "She met some Ravenclaw she wants you to beat at chess. She wants to bet money on it, I think."
Artemis blinked, then shook his head, not sure whether to believe him. "Why don't we discuss the reason we're here?"
"OK, fine. Tell me about Donnelon and Cobalt."
"Lucius has said he can get a proposal through the Ministry that will greatly relax regulations on magical experimentation, specifically on human subjects. Once that's done, he'll see Cobalt receives a very nice Ministry grant that will basically let her do whatever research she wants for the next dozen years. Cobalt wants to study a rather dark form of blood magic."
Draco's eyes were wide. "Does she, now? Remind me not to be in a room alone with her."
"It's alright, you have Crabbe and Goyle. Donnelon, on the other hand, is being blackmailed. His brother apparently likes to commit magical arson against Muggles. He's due on trial before the Wizengamot in June. Lucius can affect the verdict. William Donnelon can be released on parole to do community service or be thrown into Azkaban for life."
"I see. Very well, what do we do next?"
"As we mentioned before, we don't want them to completely stop reporting to your father or he'll just try something else. We want them to feed him false information. So. . ."
They pulled Donnelon aside first. They got him alone in his dorm room and locked the door.
"Look, I'd like to help you out, Draco, really I would, but I can't do anything that would jeopardize my brother."
"He'd only be in danger if you were discovered to be lying. We don't intend for that to happen."
"But. . ."
"Discovery wouldn't exactly be in my best interests, either," Draco pointed out. "We'll take care of you."
"Yeah, but you guys, he's my brother." Donnelon looked at them plaintively. "Granted, he's a bigoted bully, but he's always been mostly nice to me."
"Relax," Artemis commanded. "Lucius is a powerful man, certainly, but you seem to have forgotten who I am. I have enough money to bribe a jury, and Fudge owes me for certain things. So does Dumbledore, come to that; I did kill the basilisk. Trust me."
Slytherins are not trusting people, but such was the power of Artemis Fowl's presence that Donnelon found himself believing. "Well. . . if you're sure. . . all right then."
"Very good. I'll work out with you later what kind of information you will tell him. Now, swear on your wand."
He did.
They went after Cobalt next. They cornered her on an empty stairway. She gave them a look of amused superiority.
"Hello, Cobalt," Draco greeted her, deliberately stopping two steps above her for the height advantage.
"Why, Draco Malfoy," she returned, "with Artemis Fowl. What a surprise."
"You can drop the innocent act," Artemis said dryly. "We know you're spying on Malfoy."
She shrugged. She met Draco's eyes coldly, as if she was looking at a dissected flobberworm under glass. "I don't know where you got that idea."
"Here's the thing," Draco told her, ignoring this. "From now on, you're only going to tell my father what I want you to. You'll still get his promised reward."
"You're young and foolish," she laughed. "Why would I do as you propose?"
"Because, my dear, we know all about your little forays into the Dark Arts in the West Tower."
Her smile disappeared. "That's preposterous!"
"Oh, we have proof," Artemis assured her. "You like blood magic, don't you? And practicing the Cruciatus Curse--where did you get all those gerbils, anyway?"
"You could be more than expelled, you could be arrested." Draco crossed his arms, expression smug.
Cobalt stood staring up at them, nostrils flaring as she took in deep, angry breaths. Her eyes were full of hate. "You would dare? I could hex you to oblivion, right now!"
"You could try," Artemis said, stepping around from where he'd been standing partially concealed behind Malfoy. "But as I'm already holding my wand," he raised it to point at her, "and you're not. . . I would advise you not to be stupid. You're not a stupid girl, not really. You can see where your best interests lie. Just do us this one small thing. Lucius will believe what you tell him, so you'll still get your Ministry grant. It's a win-win situation."
They stood, no one moving as the tension built. Finally Cobalt let out all her breath in one huff. "Fine!"
Draco smirked. "Fine. Now swear on your wand."
"What?!"
"Hey, we're not stupid, either."
She gnashed her teeth, shifted about, but eventually gave in.
After she'd gone, Draco turned to Fowl and grinned. "Success."
Fowl smirked at him and Draco didn't even mind. "Of course."
A/N2: To everybody reading Blood to Gold, my other HP/AF crossover (that includes you, Very evil daughter of Lord Vol): I will not abandon you forever. But this story was so much fun, I decided to finish it first. Once I start a Third Year sequel to this, though, I'm going back to working on that, as it is set in Third Year, too. So do not lose hope!
A/N3: Thank you, oh my wonderful reviewers! I'd give you all a cookie, but the worms ate them. Would you be happy with a message instead?
jeweljade: Holly will be mainly appearing to Artemis and Draco, but who knows who else may pop up. . .
Lunaceress, P. D. Yerf, Mikito: Holly will show herself in Ch 27, as predicted. Your patience will be rewarded.
Lildvlpup, Cazamataz, moonlight2, Nallasariel the Weeper (me no speak French), Lyn/Lin, flamin: I'm glad you like!
V0xLoS: Indeed, you must read Mr. Eoin Colfer's magnificent Artemis Fowl books. Let us all bow to the master. Um. Yes. Anyway, there will be no realizations of romance in this, the story of their Second Year, but as they get older, in other words, IN MY SEQUELS, expect to find some.
LeggoMyLegolas40: Trouble is coming indeed. Insert manical laughter. Have I mentioned I like your screen name?
deFox: Thanks! Yes, sequels are planned, and Year Three is in the works. And yes, Artemis still has a ways to go to find his alchemical formula. . .
Earthborne: No, he wouldn't expect anyone else to understand his plans, or be able to do anything about it even if they did. And he always has underlying reasons. . .
Celadrian: Trouble is coming indeed. Insert manical laughter.
Zsych: I think Artemis is aware the philosopher's stone has been destroyed, and he doesn't want Dumbledore to be involved in any of his admittedly evil plans--he might try and stop them. I am going to attempt a fic that will make Third Year interesting. As for creating a band of his own followers, well. . . you know what. . . I kind of like that idea. . .
Very evil daughter of Lord Vol: That is my hope too. The only dance of joy I know is the one that Snoopy does.
The CheezHead: Yeah, where were you? Just kidding. I'm glad you like!
JealousAlmonds: Secret deals are fun!
ashes2ashes: Evil on a field trip brings all kinds of images to mind. It could be its own parody. Dozens of chapters.
DarkFire180: Thanks. I will finish my Yu Yu Hakusho/DBZ crossover after this one is done, I think.
LadyDeath1: Thanks!
A/N4: In case inquiring minds want to know, Pansy's knickers were striped, pink and sky blue. Draco said they should have been lilac because that is Lockhart's favorite color, remember. Naughty Draco!
By Elbereth in April
A/N: I had the next part typed and ready to be downloaded when my computer crashed with (drum roll) 67 worms, and I had to wipe the hard drive as well as download the worm fixer-upper patches. So I have spent some time frustrated and depressed as I mourn my lost files, of which there are many. At any rate, here is this chapter at last.
Chapter 26
The plan was set to begin Thursday morning. In the meantime, there were Wednesday classes to get through. Lockhart was standing at the front of the class, flashing his "most charming" smile. On a table next to him he had a small covered cage. He reached over and pulled off the cloth. Inside was a fat, fluffy bird, peacefully asleep.
"This is a Diricawl!" Lockhart announced. "It's a bird--but it can't fly. Muggles call it a dodo; they wrongly think that it's extinct. It can vanish in a puff of feathers and reappear elsewhere. Unless you--ha ha--cleverly cast a Somnulus on it, so it will stay in one place."
At that exact instant, its eyes opened as the Diricawl woke up. It took one look around, panicked, and disappeared (in a puff of feathers) and popped back into existence on Lockhart's head.
The entire class (except, of course, Artemis) burst out laughing. Lockhart's smile turned a bit sickly. "Now, now, not to worry. They can be captured again." His hand shot up but the bird had already vanished and he only ended up slapping himself on the head.
The bird reappeared on Millicent's desk. She leaned backward and waved her hand at it. "Shoo, go away!"
"Vince, Greg," Draco instructed lazily, "help the professor catch the poor thing."
They stared at him blankly. He winked. "Oh," said Crabbe, grinning. "Sure."
He jumped up and started chasing it, intent only on creating more havoc in the name of "helping." Goyle caught on at once and joined him. The Diricawl began transporting itself all around the room in bursts and pops. The Slytherins were laughing helplessly. Fowl was smirking. Lockhart was whining.
Then the bird teleported itself on top of three precariously stacked crates, knocking them over. The lids came off and the slumbering creatures inside woke up and began to move around.
"What--?" Marie began, clutching onto Blaise's arm as dozens of small blue bodies rose into the air. They were half-an-inch long, a vivid sapphire, with wings on top their heads and a long thin sting at the bottom. They hovered for a moment, then, so fast the eye could hardly follow, their wings began to rotate, and they began to spin.
"Billywigs!" Zabini exclaimed. "Oh no!"
Then the Billywigs were flying all over the room, amongst the students, like a swarm of gnats. The first one stung was Pansy, who made the mistake of swatting at them. She suddenly started to giggle, and after a few seconds, began to float upwards towards the ceiling.
"Pansy, too bad you aren't wearing your lilac-colored knickers," Draco called up to her.
"Malfoy!" all the girls yelled at him.
"What?"
"No problem, not to worry, I'll get you down in a jiffy," Lockhart exclaimed.
"Uh oh," Zabini muttered as Eva covered her eyes.
Bulstrode looked horrified. "Sir, that may be a bad idea," she started to say, but Lockhart ignored her, raising his wand and squinting up at Pansy.
"Ouch!" Everyone turned to look at Crabbe, who now had a strange, giddy expression on his face. "Uh oh," Zabini said again as Crabbe rose into the air.
Then Eva was giggling madly and rising upward, and then Goyle. "Oh, you've all come to join me!" Parkinson cried happily. She grabbed Greg's hands and spun them around in a circle.
"You'll make him sick," Draco loudly advised her, and the students moved as one away from underneath the dancing duo. Draco grinned, quite enjoying himself.
Not to be outdone, Crabbe pulled Eva into a dance.
"Eva, you're no fun!" Draco yelled in disappointment as the girl gathered her skirts around her to prevent Draco from peeking at her knickers while she twirled.
"They're white," Pansy told on her, still giggling, "with orange flowers."
"Parkinson!" Eva shrieked, momentarily stopping her spinning.
Draco started snickering. The Diricawl chose that moment to appear on his shoulder. He automatically dove sideways out of his seat, knocking against a set of shelves containing piles of papers. The shelf tilted and crashed and papers rained down around him.
"Afraid of a bird, Malfoy?" Fowl smirked at him as papers floated down and settled on Draco's head and lap.
"Seeker's reflexes. Maybe a bit of paranoia." Draco shrugged, unconcerned. He brushed the papers off himself and started to stand up when one piece of parchment in particular caught his eye. He picked it up and stared at it. The first few sentences were in his father's handwriting.
"Lockhart," it read, "how are you progressing on your research? You know I am not a patient man. I suggest you have good news for me--soon."
Attached to this was another parchment, in Lockhart's hand. "Copy of my reply to LM:
"It is good news, indeed. What follows is a summarization of what I have discovered so far. . ." Draco glanced around, saw that no one was watching him, and stuffed the whole thing in his robe pocket.
The rest of the class were watching Zabini, who was hanging onto his desk to keep from floating away, although this caused him to turn upside down. "Why do I even come to this class?" he was complaining.
"At least you're wearing trousers!" Eva yelled down to him.
"Lockhart is so incompetent," Chevalier sighed.
"Shall I go get Prof. Snape?" Millicent asked their DADA instructor.
Lockhart blinked, seeming to come out of a daze. "What? Why would you do that, silly girl? You have me!" He cleared his throat, waved his wand again- -everyone ducked, and Zabini screwed his eyes shut. "Oppositum Leviosa!"
The afflicted students all slowly levitated back down. "It's a miracle!" Eva exclaimed as her feet touched the floor. The class exchanged incredulous looks.
"Accio Diricawl!" The bird squawked and popped into existence at Lockhart's feet. "Somnulus." It fell asleep again and he put it back in the cage.
"Maybe we're mass hallucinating," suggested Blaise.
"Maybe he's just been having a bad year up til now." Pansy gazed at the professor with something like her old adoration.
"Maybe he's an imposter." Crabbe regarded him suspiciously.
"Class dismissed," Lockhart announced. "I shall deal with these pesky Billywigs."
Somewhat dazed, the class gathered their things and left.
"Well, that was strange," Marie commented.
The day passed without further incident. Bright and early Thursday morning, Draco slipped into a room near the Potions lab. Artemis was already there, re-reading a book called "Auror Training, vol. 4, Advanced Tracking Charms."
Artemis pointed at page 79. "This is the spell we're going to use to find the spies."
"What does it do?"
"It will cause the person watching you to radiate with a magical glow only observable to the caster of the spell. I propose we cast it and then stake out the entrance to the Great Hall. Eventually everyone in the school will go through those doors and into breakfast. We observe everyone and see who glows. Then we'll speak to them individually and convince them that being a spy is a risky occupation."
"Sounds good. Are you sure you blocked all of the magical means of spying on me already?"
"Positive. I've cast all those same charms on myself as well. I imagine Lucius and Fudge are both feeling thoroughly frustrated right now. Of course, the beauty of these spells is that the interference seems natural, and not as if a person is deliberately blocking them."
"Well, let's get on with it then."
"We'll both cast the spell. That way if one of us misses something, the other should notice."
They proceeded to do so. It was complicated, but both boys were very good at magic.
"Shall we see if it worked?" Artemis asked.
"One thing first. . . remember in History of Magic, when you asked about leprechauns? You were amused by Binns's answer. You got that 'I know something you don't' expression. Was there a reason?"
Artemis's eyes narrowed. "You think you can tell when I know something, Malfoy?"
Draco smirked, feeling a bit superior and quite proud of himself. "Yes, Fowl. Know your enemy, right? I've been watching you for quite some time now, and I think I know you fairly well. Oh, mostly you're still a mystery-- you're a very complicated human being. But still. . . I get insights, sometimes."
Artemis frowned. He'd have to work on that. It made him feel very vulnerable and exposed.
"But that's not the point," Draco continued. "What about my question?"
"Why do you ask?"
Draco hesitated, then pulled a rolled-up parchment out of his pocket. "Lockhart and my father seem to be studying them."
Artemis's eyebrows shot up. Draco held out the paper and he took it. Artemis started reading, "Leprechauns are a breed of fairy with powerful magic. They can grant wishes, heal, kill, cast glamours, and use Muggle weapons and technology. Their magic is drained after repeated use. It may be possible to steal their magic and channel it into YKW to return him back to full life. . ." He looked at Draco. "YKW, I'm assuming, means You-Know- Who." Draco nodded and he resumed reading. "They are known to frequent places of strong magic, locales of ancient legend, i.e. Tara, the Isle of Glass, the Giant's Dance. If you can avoid their glamour, it should be possible to catch one."
Draco took a step closer. "What do you think?"
"Where did you get this?"
"Out of that pile of papers that fell on me in the DADA room. It appears to be a copy of research notes that Lockhart sent my father."
"Do you know if they've actually caught one?"
Was it his imagination, or did Fowl's voice seem tenser than normal? "How would I know? It's not like my father tells me anything, and I haven't been home."
"Keep this quiet for the moment. I need to think about this."
"But is it true? What Lockhart says about leprechauns--is he right?"
Artemis held a mental debate, weighing all the consequences and relative personal gains. "You can't tell anyone about this, Malfoy. It would be very dangerous for you, so promise."
"I promise."
"Yes, it's true. They're very powerful fairies. They've kept their race secret from humans for centuries. That's one of their main priorities, in fact. They wouldn't be happy about this."
"Understandable." Malfoy looked thoughtful.
"Anyway, I'll deal with that later. Right now, let's go watch the Great Hall."
There were two spies, a Third Year boy from Slytherin and a Sixth Year girl in Ravenclaw. "Lance Donnelon," Draco identified them, "and Charity Cobalt."
"Very well. The next step is to learn about our informants in order to better persuade them."
Draco smirked. "You mean find out their dirty secrets so we can blackmail them, don't you?"
"It's all in the phrasing, Malfoy."
That afternoon, Artemis e-mailed his bodyguard. "Dear Butler, I need you to find out why these two students are following Lucius Malfoy's orders. Dig up as much information on them as you can. The dirtier the better. One other thing--Lucius is apparently going to try to kidnap a LEP Recon and drain their magic to reanimate Voldemort."
Friday, Butler and Artemis conversed via Instant Messenger. "Dear Artemis, From all I've heard Voldemort alive again would be a bad thing. Plus, we owe the fairies something. We can't ignore this."
"Butler, we don't owe them anything. I returned Miss Root safely. Don't forget, they did let a troll loose in my house that nearly killed you."
"True, but Holly healed me."
"She only healed you because she didn't want the troll to eat her, too."
"We can at least let them know."
"That may be possible. What about my names?"
"Cobalt is being bribed and Donnelon is being blackmailed."
Draco threw his bag under the table and sat down next to Artemis. "I ran into Virginia Weasley in the library. She tried to give me a message for you, but I told her I don't talk to you voluntarily."
Artemis frowned. "I wonder what she wanted."
"She wanted to tell you that Granger is absolutely crazy over you."
Artemis looked at him in complete shock. "What?"
"Well, OK, she didn't actually say that. . ."
"Malfoy, you prat!"
"But I think you two are perfect for each other. Both utter nerds. You should make a move."
"I'm not interested in Granger," Artemis said through clenched teeth.
"Fine. Go after Eva. She's been eyeing you all year."
"I have no romantic interests. Now shut up."
"You're dead boring. But never mind, don't you want to hear what Weasley actually said?" He continued right on without waiting for an answer. "She met some Ravenclaw she wants you to beat at chess. She wants to bet money on it, I think."
Artemis blinked, then shook his head, not sure whether to believe him. "Why don't we discuss the reason we're here?"
"OK, fine. Tell me about Donnelon and Cobalt."
"Lucius has said he can get a proposal through the Ministry that will greatly relax regulations on magical experimentation, specifically on human subjects. Once that's done, he'll see Cobalt receives a very nice Ministry grant that will basically let her do whatever research she wants for the next dozen years. Cobalt wants to study a rather dark form of blood magic."
Draco's eyes were wide. "Does she, now? Remind me not to be in a room alone with her."
"It's alright, you have Crabbe and Goyle. Donnelon, on the other hand, is being blackmailed. His brother apparently likes to commit magical arson against Muggles. He's due on trial before the Wizengamot in June. Lucius can affect the verdict. William Donnelon can be released on parole to do community service or be thrown into Azkaban for life."
"I see. Very well, what do we do next?"
"As we mentioned before, we don't want them to completely stop reporting to your father or he'll just try something else. We want them to feed him false information. So. . ."
They pulled Donnelon aside first. They got him alone in his dorm room and locked the door.
"Look, I'd like to help you out, Draco, really I would, but I can't do anything that would jeopardize my brother."
"He'd only be in danger if you were discovered to be lying. We don't intend for that to happen."
"But. . ."
"Discovery wouldn't exactly be in my best interests, either," Draco pointed out. "We'll take care of you."
"Yeah, but you guys, he's my brother." Donnelon looked at them plaintively. "Granted, he's a bigoted bully, but he's always been mostly nice to me."
"Relax," Artemis commanded. "Lucius is a powerful man, certainly, but you seem to have forgotten who I am. I have enough money to bribe a jury, and Fudge owes me for certain things. So does Dumbledore, come to that; I did kill the basilisk. Trust me."
Slytherins are not trusting people, but such was the power of Artemis Fowl's presence that Donnelon found himself believing. "Well. . . if you're sure. . . all right then."
"Very good. I'll work out with you later what kind of information you will tell him. Now, swear on your wand."
He did.
They went after Cobalt next. They cornered her on an empty stairway. She gave them a look of amused superiority.
"Hello, Cobalt," Draco greeted her, deliberately stopping two steps above her for the height advantage.
"Why, Draco Malfoy," she returned, "with Artemis Fowl. What a surprise."
"You can drop the innocent act," Artemis said dryly. "We know you're spying on Malfoy."
She shrugged. She met Draco's eyes coldly, as if she was looking at a dissected flobberworm under glass. "I don't know where you got that idea."
"Here's the thing," Draco told her, ignoring this. "From now on, you're only going to tell my father what I want you to. You'll still get his promised reward."
"You're young and foolish," she laughed. "Why would I do as you propose?"
"Because, my dear, we know all about your little forays into the Dark Arts in the West Tower."
Her smile disappeared. "That's preposterous!"
"Oh, we have proof," Artemis assured her. "You like blood magic, don't you? And practicing the Cruciatus Curse--where did you get all those gerbils, anyway?"
"You could be more than expelled, you could be arrested." Draco crossed his arms, expression smug.
Cobalt stood staring up at them, nostrils flaring as she took in deep, angry breaths. Her eyes were full of hate. "You would dare? I could hex you to oblivion, right now!"
"You could try," Artemis said, stepping around from where he'd been standing partially concealed behind Malfoy. "But as I'm already holding my wand," he raised it to point at her, "and you're not. . . I would advise you not to be stupid. You're not a stupid girl, not really. You can see where your best interests lie. Just do us this one small thing. Lucius will believe what you tell him, so you'll still get your Ministry grant. It's a win-win situation."
They stood, no one moving as the tension built. Finally Cobalt let out all her breath in one huff. "Fine!"
Draco smirked. "Fine. Now swear on your wand."
"What?!"
"Hey, we're not stupid, either."
She gnashed her teeth, shifted about, but eventually gave in.
After she'd gone, Draco turned to Fowl and grinned. "Success."
Fowl smirked at him and Draco didn't even mind. "Of course."
A/N2: To everybody reading Blood to Gold, my other HP/AF crossover (that includes you, Very evil daughter of Lord Vol): I will not abandon you forever. But this story was so much fun, I decided to finish it first. Once I start a Third Year sequel to this, though, I'm going back to working on that, as it is set in Third Year, too. So do not lose hope!
A/N3: Thank you, oh my wonderful reviewers! I'd give you all a cookie, but the worms ate them. Would you be happy with a message instead?
jeweljade: Holly will be mainly appearing to Artemis and Draco, but who knows who else may pop up. . .
Lunaceress, P. D. Yerf, Mikito: Holly will show herself in Ch 27, as predicted. Your patience will be rewarded.
Lildvlpup, Cazamataz, moonlight2, Nallasariel the Weeper (me no speak French), Lyn/Lin, flamin: I'm glad you like!
V0xLoS: Indeed, you must read Mr. Eoin Colfer's magnificent Artemis Fowl books. Let us all bow to the master. Um. Yes. Anyway, there will be no realizations of romance in this, the story of their Second Year, but as they get older, in other words, IN MY SEQUELS, expect to find some.
LeggoMyLegolas40: Trouble is coming indeed. Insert manical laughter. Have I mentioned I like your screen name?
deFox: Thanks! Yes, sequels are planned, and Year Three is in the works. And yes, Artemis still has a ways to go to find his alchemical formula. . .
Earthborne: No, he wouldn't expect anyone else to understand his plans, or be able to do anything about it even if they did. And he always has underlying reasons. . .
Celadrian: Trouble is coming indeed. Insert manical laughter.
Zsych: I think Artemis is aware the philosopher's stone has been destroyed, and he doesn't want Dumbledore to be involved in any of his admittedly evil plans--he might try and stop them. I am going to attempt a fic that will make Third Year interesting. As for creating a band of his own followers, well. . . you know what. . . I kind of like that idea. . .
Very evil daughter of Lord Vol: That is my hope too. The only dance of joy I know is the one that Snoopy does.
The CheezHead: Yeah, where were you? Just kidding. I'm glad you like!
JealousAlmonds: Secret deals are fun!
ashes2ashes: Evil on a field trip brings all kinds of images to mind. It could be its own parody. Dozens of chapters.
DarkFire180: Thanks. I will finish my Yu Yu Hakusho/DBZ crossover after this one is done, I think.
LadyDeath1: Thanks!
A/N4: In case inquiring minds want to know, Pansy's knickers were striped, pink and sky blue. Draco said they should have been lilac because that is Lockhart's favorite color, remember. Naughty Draco!