Chapter Two: Proving Himself
A/N: Wow! I was worried that you were all going to comment about Lily being a slut or something. She only dances with James which is important to the plot. She's physically attracted to James. And while she doesn't completely know him... well I can't say that. Lol. Someone asked if she was being hard on him. Possibly. But she doesn't know the real James. Which is what this chapter is. I'm thinking that if there are five chapters, like I thought, then three with be with them dancing... like every other chapter, dance, school, dance, school, dance, end! I'll see how this works.
Don't forget to check my profile and read how my fics came to be! Every story has a paragraph... well most do. And then you'll be able to hear how I started them or what not. Okay... thanks for reviewing! I'm working on He Loved Me... I'll write it as soon as I can. I don't want to break it totally short, okay? The graduation is growing near and I really don't need all the stress, okay?! Sorry... but my parents don't understand that our other computer can't post and they give me limited time. Most of my posts are prewritten and copied off of a piece of paper. Bloody annoying.
HI BLIZZ! (Lol had to say that...)
Disclaimer: I own nada thing.
Proving Himself
The after effects of Lily Evans' words were ringing clearly in his ears. He had always thought that charming a girl with your looks would get you a girlfriend. And of course, why wouldn't he believe that? He's James Potter, for Merlin's sake! He's completely loved by every single girl that has ever walked through the Hogwarts thresholds. Except one.
And of course, spite him she thinks he's a bloody moronic stalker, with a prat attitude and good looks. Well, at least she gave him that. Why would she dance like she did if she didn't find him the slightest bit of a turn off or a randy man? Remus had told him that he was going about it the wrong way. He was starting to believe. He was too damned proud to admit when he was wrong. But he admits it now. He was wrong.
Very wrong.
He sits here in Transfigurations staring off obliviously into space. Lily turns around and spots him. But she doesn't roll her eyes. She doesn't glare. She doesn't smirk as though she's plotting something. She gives a small smile and turns away. Maybe she was thinking that she owed to be nice to him, having left him alone on the dance floor to dance with Sirius. He didn't really mind, because Sirius was never interesting in a girl for more than a few weeks at most. He's never been interesting in James' Flower before.
The plain point was James wasn't going to change for Lily. Why would he? He is who he is, and... well, if that didn't work then he could settle for making a love potion. But in reality he wanted her to have general feelings. Genuine, not deceitful. He didn't want their kisses to be fake. Well... if they ever had any kisses, that is.
Lily stares at her desk determinedly trying not to think of him. But she can't. He's staring at her. Like he always does. No matter what. He stares when she's got a cold, when she's embarrassed, when she's concentrating. Boys like James are so hard to understand. They throw mix signals.
Just when she thinks James is just looking at her because he thinks she looks good, she turns around and sees him staring when she's stressed, her hair is a mess, and her eyes are bloodshot. He stares regardless of what she's doing. Physical attraction is one thing. But she's only ever seen people stare at other people that way. Her mum and dad used to stare at each other, watching each others every move; studying them even. That's when it hit her. Her parents stared because they were in love.
Love! She shook her head to herself, that's ridiculous. James Potter doesn't know how to love. He's a prick... he doesn't care. He just... remembers her birthday every year. And buys her Christmas presents even when they had just gotten into a fight the previous day. He apologizes first every time and he sounds like he means it. Until he tries to be cool and grins to his friends like it was some kind of prank. Joke. Trick. Something of that effect!
She could completely understand that James Potter was not perfect. Sure he looked like a God-amongst-men. But that's exactly what he wants her to think! She scolded herself. It's ridiculous. Insane. Preposterous. James cannot have the feelings he claims. Just because he asked her out every chance he gets... and he has for the last three years, definitely doesn't mean he likes her at all.
She used to believe he liked her for the challenge. The fact that she wasn't attainable. That he wanted to conquer her. But her opinion changed. When he left the other girls alone, when he shot down every girl that asked him out, when he only wanted to dance with her...
Dancing is one thing... but dating is another. She loves to be free... free to dance with who she pleases. But if she wants that freedom.... Why... Oh why, does she only ever dance with James?
"All right, class. Go ahead."
Neither James nor Lily seemed to be paying attention to Professor McGonagall who had just given them instructions to get working with their partners. Sirius had turned to James, but James was already off his seat, caring his bag with him over to Lily.
"Can I work with you?" asked James.
Lily looked up. "Um... sure... I mean... you brought your bag over so, I guess..."
Her friends exchanged obvious looks and Sirius grinned at them. Lily was mentally smacking herself in the forehead. 'I am so obvious! So obvious!' she scolded to herself.
"Lily? You there?"
She looked up at James... he called her Lily. Sure, big deal. But yeah right! He had never called her that. Ever! Not even when they first met and were seemingly just plain strangers. Nothing is how it seems when it comes to Lily and James.
"Sorry... just thinking..."
"About what?" he asked innocently, a small smile playing upon his lips.
"Nothing," she said far too quickly; James grinned as she blushed. "Um... what... what are we supposed to be doing?"
She notice how James' eyes lit up in mischief. She smiled to herself. "Oh, I don't know."
They both laughed a tiny laugh. "I wasn't paying attention either..."
They both had light blushes playing across their usually pale cheeks and Professor McGonagall stopped at their table.
"Mr. Potter, if you're done flirting with Miss Evans—or shall I call her Mrs. Potter?—I'd like for the both of you to clean in the trophy room tonight. Together, without magic, and please refrain from killing each other—and kissing," she added before walking away.
The class burst into laughter and even McGonagall laughed quietly to herself. Lily and James were blushing deep scarlet and Lily decided to regain her composure quickly.
"Do you want try it first, Jam—Potter?" she asked quietly.
James grinned spite the laughing class around them. And her calling him James was enough to make that detention worth the while.
They met at the bottom of the girl's staircase. James was beyond pleased when Lily had excepted to meet him there. In all honesty, she didn't know why she was doing this. It was James Potter, she reminded herself. The James Potter that got her in trouble because they were flirting in class...
They? She thought to herself, 'That makes me feel quite guilty, really.' So they flirted... so what? The physical attraction was there, no doubt. Lucky for her she had round with James after detention, so she had that whole time to sort out her feelings. She couldn't possibly be crushing on him, could she? People don't develop crushes that fast—and even if they did, they obviously grow out of it right...
She's trying to believe that. Trying.
"Sorry about landing you in detention," said James, after about two minutes of walking.
She smiled at the awkwardness in his voice. "I was just as guilty, I suppose..."
"I know you don't like detention. Or being caught flirting. I remember in fourth year you were flirting with that sixth year, Amos Diggory, was he? And Professor Flitwick walked by. I could never forget how red you turned. I remember also, in fifth year—"
"How do you know all this?" she asked, trying to suppress the admiration she was so obviously feeling.
"I... I like you, you know." He had said it as though it were obvious. They reached the trophy room in silence and he scolded himself for being such a prat. He didn't need to change. She was already trying to make him. He added cockily. "You know what they say... good on the dance floor good in—"
"You don't need a façade, you know." Lily spoke suddenly, and she didn't even know why she was saying it. It wasn't her place. She wasn't trying to change him or anything... but people misjudge her kindness sometimes. James—Potter was always one of those people. She was falling way too fast, she concluded... 'I mean... I'm not falling for him. He's just... a stupid... friend of mine...'
He stared at her. "I'm just stating what I know, love," he grinned at her. "You going dancing on Saturday?"
She breathed deeply. "Understand something. I never thought I'd be telling you this but," she spoke clearly. "I can't tell who you are. I'm not going to go out with you, when I don't even know who you are. Do you understand? You are the most confusing person ever! I can't even tell which side of you you really are! I don't know if you're that cocky dancer that I know... or that nice classmate that I saw today. I don't know which bloody side I'm falling for!"
She covered her mouth instantly at the slip up. Regardless of if it were true, he was going to believe it now. But he showed no sign of hearing it. He looked deep in thought. He knew that he was a mixture of both when he wanted to be. Lily didn't know that... so is it that easy to say...?
"Look," he said exhaling his breath, and starting to clean a trophy. "I'm neither because I'm both. Does that make sense? Okay, of course it doesn't. I care about you... but I still can't change. I am who I am; I've been this way since I got here. Because I know what I'm doing and I know what I want. For you I... I don't want to change myself, but I want to be what you want me to be."
"You can't have it both ways," she said polishing a trophy rather roughly. "You're two different people already," she added almost jokingly.
"Can't we at least try to be friends...?"
"Do you understand anything I just said? I don't know who you are. I don't know which is a façade. I don't know what I'm seeing. I don't know what to fall for," it didn't matter to her anymore, as she spoke, she realized that she didn't care that he knew she was attracted to him. Her dancing would tell him that much already... Yeah... but boys can be daft sometimes...
"I'm both Lily. I'm the captain of smart comments, okay? I liked to be noticed and I can't stop that. I know—"
"I never said you have to—"
"But in fifth year—"
"In fifth year you were a jerk. I told you I hated how you stole the Snitch from the school and how you picked on defenseless people!"
"Are you telling me Snape doesn't deserve it? I mean... sure all that's really bad, I know. But honestly? Snape... after all he said? After he called you a M—m—a you know what!"
Lily stared. "I appreciate you telling me that you care what people say. But unlike you, other people's opinions don't matter to me. I don't care if people notice me... or if they care at all!"
"And I do... is that why you don't like me?!"
"I never said I didn't like you!"
"So you do like me?" he clarified. "Like enough to date, like me?"
"Like enough to put up with this, be your friend... and maybe give you a chance."
"So would you like to go dancing with me on Saturday... just as friends?" he added hastily.
Lily looked up. "Meet there... or walk there together?"
"Doesn't matter," he said... "I guess walk together so... our friends don't... I don't know." He laughed. "I had a good reason why we should... but I forgot it."
Lily laughed as he blushed sheepishly. Now this is the James she could like. When he had a soft caring voice that lifted her to laugh. She could find herself falling for that part of him. And she was...
A/N: Wow! I was worried that you were all going to comment about Lily being a slut or something. She only dances with James which is important to the plot. She's physically attracted to James. And while she doesn't completely know him... well I can't say that. Lol. Someone asked if she was being hard on him. Possibly. But she doesn't know the real James. Which is what this chapter is. I'm thinking that if there are five chapters, like I thought, then three with be with them dancing... like every other chapter, dance, school, dance, school, dance, end! I'll see how this works.
Don't forget to check my profile and read how my fics came to be! Every story has a paragraph... well most do. And then you'll be able to hear how I started them or what not. Okay... thanks for reviewing! I'm working on He Loved Me... I'll write it as soon as I can. I don't want to break it totally short, okay? The graduation is growing near and I really don't need all the stress, okay?! Sorry... but my parents don't understand that our other computer can't post and they give me limited time. Most of my posts are prewritten and copied off of a piece of paper. Bloody annoying.
HI BLIZZ! (Lol had to say that...)
Disclaimer: I own nada thing.
Proving Himself
The after effects of Lily Evans' words were ringing clearly in his ears. He had always thought that charming a girl with your looks would get you a girlfriend. And of course, why wouldn't he believe that? He's James Potter, for Merlin's sake! He's completely loved by every single girl that has ever walked through the Hogwarts thresholds. Except one.
And of course, spite him she thinks he's a bloody moronic stalker, with a prat attitude and good looks. Well, at least she gave him that. Why would she dance like she did if she didn't find him the slightest bit of a turn off or a randy man? Remus had told him that he was going about it the wrong way. He was starting to believe. He was too damned proud to admit when he was wrong. But he admits it now. He was wrong.
Very wrong.
He sits here in Transfigurations staring off obliviously into space. Lily turns around and spots him. But she doesn't roll her eyes. She doesn't glare. She doesn't smirk as though she's plotting something. She gives a small smile and turns away. Maybe she was thinking that she owed to be nice to him, having left him alone on the dance floor to dance with Sirius. He didn't really mind, because Sirius was never interesting in a girl for more than a few weeks at most. He's never been interesting in James' Flower before.
The plain point was James wasn't going to change for Lily. Why would he? He is who he is, and... well, if that didn't work then he could settle for making a love potion. But in reality he wanted her to have general feelings. Genuine, not deceitful. He didn't want their kisses to be fake. Well... if they ever had any kisses, that is.
Lily stares at her desk determinedly trying not to think of him. But she can't. He's staring at her. Like he always does. No matter what. He stares when she's got a cold, when she's embarrassed, when she's concentrating. Boys like James are so hard to understand. They throw mix signals.
Just when she thinks James is just looking at her because he thinks she looks good, she turns around and sees him staring when she's stressed, her hair is a mess, and her eyes are bloodshot. He stares regardless of what she's doing. Physical attraction is one thing. But she's only ever seen people stare at other people that way. Her mum and dad used to stare at each other, watching each others every move; studying them even. That's when it hit her. Her parents stared because they were in love.
Love! She shook her head to herself, that's ridiculous. James Potter doesn't know how to love. He's a prick... he doesn't care. He just... remembers her birthday every year. And buys her Christmas presents even when they had just gotten into a fight the previous day. He apologizes first every time and he sounds like he means it. Until he tries to be cool and grins to his friends like it was some kind of prank. Joke. Trick. Something of that effect!
She could completely understand that James Potter was not perfect. Sure he looked like a God-amongst-men. But that's exactly what he wants her to think! She scolded herself. It's ridiculous. Insane. Preposterous. James cannot have the feelings he claims. Just because he asked her out every chance he gets... and he has for the last three years, definitely doesn't mean he likes her at all.
She used to believe he liked her for the challenge. The fact that she wasn't attainable. That he wanted to conquer her. But her opinion changed. When he left the other girls alone, when he shot down every girl that asked him out, when he only wanted to dance with her...
Dancing is one thing... but dating is another. She loves to be free... free to dance with who she pleases. But if she wants that freedom.... Why... Oh why, does she only ever dance with James?
"All right, class. Go ahead."
Neither James nor Lily seemed to be paying attention to Professor McGonagall who had just given them instructions to get working with their partners. Sirius had turned to James, but James was already off his seat, caring his bag with him over to Lily.
"Can I work with you?" asked James.
Lily looked up. "Um... sure... I mean... you brought your bag over so, I guess..."
Her friends exchanged obvious looks and Sirius grinned at them. Lily was mentally smacking herself in the forehead. 'I am so obvious! So obvious!' she scolded to herself.
"Lily? You there?"
She looked up at James... he called her Lily. Sure, big deal. But yeah right! He had never called her that. Ever! Not even when they first met and were seemingly just plain strangers. Nothing is how it seems when it comes to Lily and James.
"Sorry... just thinking..."
"About what?" he asked innocently, a small smile playing upon his lips.
"Nothing," she said far too quickly; James grinned as she blushed. "Um... what... what are we supposed to be doing?"
She notice how James' eyes lit up in mischief. She smiled to herself. "Oh, I don't know."
They both laughed a tiny laugh. "I wasn't paying attention either..."
They both had light blushes playing across their usually pale cheeks and Professor McGonagall stopped at their table.
"Mr. Potter, if you're done flirting with Miss Evans—or shall I call her Mrs. Potter?—I'd like for the both of you to clean in the trophy room tonight. Together, without magic, and please refrain from killing each other—and kissing," she added before walking away.
The class burst into laughter and even McGonagall laughed quietly to herself. Lily and James were blushing deep scarlet and Lily decided to regain her composure quickly.
"Do you want try it first, Jam—Potter?" she asked quietly.
James grinned spite the laughing class around them. And her calling him James was enough to make that detention worth the while.
They met at the bottom of the girl's staircase. James was beyond pleased when Lily had excepted to meet him there. In all honesty, she didn't know why she was doing this. It was James Potter, she reminded herself. The James Potter that got her in trouble because they were flirting in class...
They? She thought to herself, 'That makes me feel quite guilty, really.' So they flirted... so what? The physical attraction was there, no doubt. Lucky for her she had round with James after detention, so she had that whole time to sort out her feelings. She couldn't possibly be crushing on him, could she? People don't develop crushes that fast—and even if they did, they obviously grow out of it right...
She's trying to believe that. Trying.
"Sorry about landing you in detention," said James, after about two minutes of walking.
She smiled at the awkwardness in his voice. "I was just as guilty, I suppose..."
"I know you don't like detention. Or being caught flirting. I remember in fourth year you were flirting with that sixth year, Amos Diggory, was he? And Professor Flitwick walked by. I could never forget how red you turned. I remember also, in fifth year—"
"How do you know all this?" she asked, trying to suppress the admiration she was so obviously feeling.
"I... I like you, you know." He had said it as though it were obvious. They reached the trophy room in silence and he scolded himself for being such a prat. He didn't need to change. She was already trying to make him. He added cockily. "You know what they say... good on the dance floor good in—"
"You don't need a façade, you know." Lily spoke suddenly, and she didn't even know why she was saying it. It wasn't her place. She wasn't trying to change him or anything... but people misjudge her kindness sometimes. James—Potter was always one of those people. She was falling way too fast, she concluded... 'I mean... I'm not falling for him. He's just... a stupid... friend of mine...'
He stared at her. "I'm just stating what I know, love," he grinned at her. "You going dancing on Saturday?"
She breathed deeply. "Understand something. I never thought I'd be telling you this but," she spoke clearly. "I can't tell who you are. I'm not going to go out with you, when I don't even know who you are. Do you understand? You are the most confusing person ever! I can't even tell which side of you you really are! I don't know if you're that cocky dancer that I know... or that nice classmate that I saw today. I don't know which bloody side I'm falling for!"
She covered her mouth instantly at the slip up. Regardless of if it were true, he was going to believe it now. But he showed no sign of hearing it. He looked deep in thought. He knew that he was a mixture of both when he wanted to be. Lily didn't know that... so is it that easy to say...?
"Look," he said exhaling his breath, and starting to clean a trophy. "I'm neither because I'm both. Does that make sense? Okay, of course it doesn't. I care about you... but I still can't change. I am who I am; I've been this way since I got here. Because I know what I'm doing and I know what I want. For you I... I don't want to change myself, but I want to be what you want me to be."
"You can't have it both ways," she said polishing a trophy rather roughly. "You're two different people already," she added almost jokingly.
"Can't we at least try to be friends...?"
"Do you understand anything I just said? I don't know who you are. I don't know which is a façade. I don't know what I'm seeing. I don't know what to fall for," it didn't matter to her anymore, as she spoke, she realized that she didn't care that he knew she was attracted to him. Her dancing would tell him that much already... Yeah... but boys can be daft sometimes...
"I'm both Lily. I'm the captain of smart comments, okay? I liked to be noticed and I can't stop that. I know—"
"I never said you have to—"
"But in fifth year—"
"In fifth year you were a jerk. I told you I hated how you stole the Snitch from the school and how you picked on defenseless people!"
"Are you telling me Snape doesn't deserve it? I mean... sure all that's really bad, I know. But honestly? Snape... after all he said? After he called you a M—m—a you know what!"
Lily stared. "I appreciate you telling me that you care what people say. But unlike you, other people's opinions don't matter to me. I don't care if people notice me... or if they care at all!"
"And I do... is that why you don't like me?!"
"I never said I didn't like you!"
"So you do like me?" he clarified. "Like enough to date, like me?"
"Like enough to put up with this, be your friend... and maybe give you a chance."
"So would you like to go dancing with me on Saturday... just as friends?" he added hastily.
Lily looked up. "Meet there... or walk there together?"
"Doesn't matter," he said... "I guess walk together so... our friends don't... I don't know." He laughed. "I had a good reason why we should... but I forgot it."
Lily laughed as he blushed sheepishly. Now this is the James she could like. When he had a soft caring voice that lifted her to laugh. She could find herself falling for that part of him. And she was...