Collection of Thoughts:
Meriadoc 'Merry' Brandybuck of Brandy Hall
Anxiety over the Unknown
By: Kuroi Neko-kun
Disclaimer: I do not own 'Lord of the Rings' or have any association with it. I just write these stories. No matter how weird they are.
Warnings: This is SLASH implied. If you do not enjoy reading about guy/guy relationships then do not read this fic. But if you wish to satisfy your curiosity, you've been aptly WARNED.
Spoilers: This is redundant because the spoilers will definitely be in but well, there will some from all three LOTR.
A/N: This is a part of my new 'series' called 'Collection of Thoughts'. The thoughts of characters from different fandoms are placed in a collection. This is the third and is continued from Collection of Thoughts: Peregrin 'Pippin' Took [Merry-go-Round]. It's Merry's thoughts and if sounded mature then it should be.
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Merry's POV
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Maybe this was not for the best at all. After what the both of us had been through, losing each other was a big of a deal than ever. I was partly guilty for not being able to comfort him when we were in Riddimark. Then again, I was angry. That was one of the few times I had been angry with Pippin. I could not believe that even in dark times like those, he could not contain his own curiosity. But when Gandalf placed him on Shadowfax, I realized how foolish I was of not following him. I came to realize only too late that I needed Pippin. But in all my fear, I could not come up with one single word of comfort. When they rode away, I wanted to shout something but I could not. It choked up in my throat. Strider touched my arm and said that I will see him again. And I did when he found me under the dead body of a soldier. He promised to take care of me and, despite all my pain, I was glad that he would be. There was no way I would survive without Pippin. It took me a great deal to come to realize that.
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After much revelations and a tussle in bed, I was content with my own decision. Pippin was highly concerned of what the Shire folk would think of us when we returned. I tried to tell him that it would be alright but I was so unsure of myself. But the worried look on Pippin's innocent face made me hold him in my arms and tell him that in the end. It was hard lying to him but I had to. I did not like the look on his face at all. It was unlike Pippin to have anything else but smiles on his face. I kissed him on the lips. It felt different then the other kisses I had given him in the past. This was of lovers'. The sensuality was high. I had to restrain myself from going further. After all, the both of us were tired from war and I was healing.
"Pippin," I mustered when he pressed his lips against mine for the nth time [I've stopped counting].
"Hm?" he mumbled, with a dazed look on his face.
"Look, I don't think we should… go further," I managed out, highly embarrassed.
"Why?" he asked in his usual innocent voice. I searched for a reason. But one came unexpectedly. Legolas came into the room and looked at us incredulously. Pippin quickly jumped away from me, understanding my reasons. The elf obviously brushed it off and told us that Aragorn had decided on the next plan of action. I noticed the amused look on his face when he said so. I guessed that he could hear us when he neared the room. I never doubted the hearing ability of elves.
"I strongly suggest that the both of you stay out of this battle," Legolas said," Gandalf and the others wish that as well."
"But Legolas," I started saying," If this fight is for Frodo and Sam then there is no way you can leave me out of it." Pippin nodded in wholehearted agreement. That is like Pippin.
"Are you sure, Merry? You are still injured," the elf pointed out. I moved my arm to prove him wrong. It did hurt a great deal but there was no way I was to be kept away a fight for a fellow hobbit. I restrained myself from showing any pain. Legolas smiled at us before sighing. "Then, you should prepare yourselves. We are leaving for the Black Gate soon."
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I woke up with a start and groaned. My head hurt a lot and I was feeling dizzy. Maybe I should not have eaten the apple pie Pippin made for me. I could not help but have it when I came home from helping Sam out. It was then I found Pippin covered in flour and peering at a cook book, deep in thought. I laughed at the sight and wondered why he would have any interest in cooking at all. He just had to point out that someone has to and since I was working, he had to take the responsibility. Ever since we returned from Minas Tirith, Pippin had grown up a little. He finally felt that he had to. Moreover he started reading a great deal. He had asked Legolas for a book of healing. The elf, of course, gave him a surprised look. Before we left, Aragorn, or King Elessar, gave him a few more books on his request. I often wondered what it was for but Pippin said that it was for our own good. He still had not told me what they were for but I respected his privacy. After all, even lovers need their own. So, I pecked him on the cheek and got him back to work. I thought of a little light reading but I stopped when I saw the vase with Rosie's wedding flowers in. The very one that Pippin caught. His question instantly popped into my head. It was one that was in my head as well. I have dwelled in it many times. I believe more that Pippin would ever. If the Shire folk were to ever find out about us… I wondered many times a scenario that was of the worse. Pippin was eager on telling and we agreed that Frodo was the only person to be told. But he left for the Undying Lands and we were left wondering if there was anybody else who could understand about this love. I remembered Legolas then. He had been giving us curious looks before I decided to satisfy the elf's inquisitiveness. Legolas was able to give me some quick advice. I should never leave Pippin's side if I truly love him, no matter what would happen. I know that much. I glanced in the direction of the kitchen, hearing the faint sounds of Pippin singing. I smiled. I should not care what the Shire folk think about us. That will be my answer to Pippin if he ever raises that question again.
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Fin
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