[A/N: hey everyone, I didn't feel like waiting for a lot of reviews so I just decided to write another chapter. I can't wait to finish this story, its gonna be so much fun writing it. I really hope you guys like it so far. Don't forget to R&R! (]
10:36 pm, Wednesday, April 7thI can't get to sleep. I just keep thinking about what happened before...when Nick hit me. I knew he was vain and stuff but I never thought he'd ever have the nerve to do that to me. I'm so scared now, what will he do to me if I want to break up with him? I hate this; I don't want to be his girlfriend. I can't believe he hit me. He'll probably do something even worse if I tell someone. God, this sucks. I can't take it. Now I have THIS to worry about...
Nick called me earlier tonight. He apologized for hitting me and all and told me he loves me and all that crap but how can you trust someone like him? He even sent one of his little "followers" to my house with some flowers and a note from him saying, "I'm sorry, I love you. Love, Nick." The flowers were so beautiful but it doesn't take away what he did...
Now that I think about it, there's no good situation with this...I guess. I mean, without Nick, I'm the loser in our group of friend with a stupid crush on a friend who has a girlfriend. But with Nick, I have a social status that I've never had before. But then there's the hitting thing again... It's so hard to weigh out the goods and the bads of this situation. I can't stand it. I don't really care about the high social status thing but the loser of the group thing gets me. I just feel so dumb crushing on someone with a girlfriend. Even if I have known him all my life...
Something really has to be done about Nick because I just can't put up with this. God, I never thought he'd do something like hit me. He always seemed so harmless. Obnoxious, but harmless. He's telling me he loves me after what he did...I can not believe he has the nerve to do that. Argh, I hate this. I know I've said it before but I truly hate this...
::See my days are cold without you, but I'm hurting while I'm with you. And though my heart can't take no more, I keep on running back to you.
See my days are cold without you, but I'm hurting while I'm with you. And though my heart can't take no more, I keep on running back to you.
Baby, I dunno why you treating me so bad. You said you loved me, no one above me. And I was all you had. And though my heart is beating for you, I can't stop crying. I don't know how I allow you to treat me this way and still I stay...::
I'm just lying here in the dim light of my room. The little lamp by the side of my bed is the only light in here. I kept the main lights off. Mom came in earlier to say good-night to me. Thank God, the mark from Nick's hand had faded so she didn't see anything.I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I want to lie here forever and never have to worry about my friends or Jimmy or Nick or anything else for the rest of my life. Maybe I could tell my mom that I feel sick tomorrow and she'll let me stay home....No, that would never work, she'd want to give me acupuncture. I have to go. I have to face Nick and keep up this little charade. Hopefully he'll get tired of me and he will dump me. But I don't know. He seems pretty intent on having me as his girlfriend. I hate this...
5:35 am, Thursday, April 8th
Went in and asked my mom if I could stay home anyway. Didn't tell her why. I just told her I didn't feel well. She said no. I'm going to school...
Got home from school a little while ago. I hated today. I just hate life now... I got into the building and I was at my locker and Nick came up to me and told me he wanted to take me to the movies tonight at 6. I just said ok and continued with what I was doing. I put my books in my locker and grabbed the books I needed. Then I put my backpack in the locker and slammed it shut. I spun the lock and headed for my homeroom.
By lunchtime I was ready to relax and enjoy the company of my friends. All the teachers in my classes had somehow annoyed me. Just hearing their voices made me want to go and kick their asses but I knew I couldn't. I'd get in trouble or something...yeah, get in trouble.
So anyway, I sat down with our usual group. Jimmy was back at his other friends' table so it was just me, Carl, Brittany, Sheen and Libby. I wasn't eating today. I didn't feel like it. And I didn't feel like dealing with cafeteria ladies.
"How come you aren't eating?" Sheen asked, amazed I guess that someone wouldn't wanna eat.
"I just don't feel like it," I said.
"Oook then." Sheen said.
"Hey babe," Nick's voice was behind me. I turned around in my seat. There he was with his lunch tray.
"Hi," I muttered. He sat down next to me.
Everyone else seemed to love his company. They all listened to his stories as if their lives depended on it...mine kind of did... He told stories about things he could buy because his parents were rich, stories of cool tricks he could do on a skateboard. Stuff like that.
Finally lunch was over and I could leave that table but Nick walked up behind me as I was walking down the hall and put his arm around my waist. As we were going down the hall I could feel his hand creeping towards my butt...
The rest of the day passed quickly and I could finally go home. I was on my way out the door of the school when Nick came up to me.
"You want me to give you a ride home?" he asked.
"No, that's ok." I said as we got outside into the open grass of the school grounds. Barely anyone was out yet.
"Why's that? Do you have something against me? Look, I told you I was sorry for what I did. When are you gonna get over it?" he said, his tone growing more and more aggressive.
"That isn't why. I just feel like walking." I said calmly.
"Oh? Really? Well then..." I felt him push me from behind and I fell onto the sidewalk. "How about we crawl home?" he snarled.
I didn't move. I just knelt there, forcing myself to hold back any tears or any signs of weakness. God, I wish more people were outside.
"Get up for God's sakes!" he yelled and kicked my side.
I yelped in pain and scrunched up my side but I forced myself to get up. I avoided looking at my hands and knees for fear he'd try to hurt me again but I knew that I was probably bleeding. I could already feel blood trickling down my calf and into my shoe.
"You gonna ride with me or what?" he said.
"Ok," I said defeated, and followed him back to the bike rack. He unchained his motor scooter and we rode off. He stopped at my house and let me walk up the sidewalk to my doorstep. I heard him drive off before I even stepped onto the porch.
I turned around and saw Jimmy sitting on his porch already with Betty. They were swinging on the porch swing. He saw me looking at him and I guess he saw I was bleeding because he looked kind of concerned and then he turned to Betty, said something, and turned back to me. I hurried inside.
"Cindy!" My mother cried. "What on Earth happened to you?"
I looked down at my knees. They were pretty scraped up. Long scrapes stretched all the way across each knee. There was blood all over my knees and my calves. My hands were bright red but not bleeding.
"Oh," I said, looking up. "I kind of tripped on the way home and fell."
"You need to learn to watch where your going, Cindy." My mother said.
"Yeah, I know," I said, pretending to scold myself. "I'll never learn."
I hurried upstairs and dropped my backpack on the floor. I ran across the hall into the bathroom. I climbed up on top of the toilet seat and looked at myself in the mirror. I lifted up my shirt and exposed where Nick had kicked me. A long, big bruise was already starting to form on my side. It was already a dark shade of purple. I let go of my shirt and started to cry.
Later on I washed my knees up and poured some peroxide over them to clean the cuts. Jimmy came over shortly after I'd gotten in the house.
"Hey Cindy," he said as I opened the front door.
"Hi," I said.
"What happened to you?" he asked. "You were bleeding when you got home. I saw you."
"Yeah, I know. I fell. Where's Betty?" I said.
"Oh, she went home." Jimmy replied.
"Ok," I said. "Do you wanna hang out or come in or something?"
"No, I can't. I gotta catch up with Betty. We're going out soon. Just checking in with you." Jimmy said.
"Oh, right. Ok, bye." I said and closed the door.
Checking in with me? Like I'm his mom and he just has to make sure I'm not going insane or something while he's gone? Like hanging out with me isn't important? Oh, perfect. This hurts so much. I don't know why I still like him. I can't shake this feeling even if I want to. I don't want to give up on him...
::I keep on fallin, in...In love. With you. Sometimes I love you; sometimes you make me blue...
Sometimes I feel good, and times I feel used. Lovin you darling, makes me so confused. I keep on fallin, in and out, of love with you.
I never loved someone, the way that I'm lovin you...::
I wonder if I should tell Jimmy about what Nick's done to me. Would Jimmy even do anything? No, he's too preoccupied with Betty I'd probably never even get the chance to sit him down and talk to him about this. Life bites...
God, I just remembered I still have to go to the movies with Nick tonight. This is gonna suck so much, he's probably gonna hit me or something. Why did I ever even get myself into this mess? Why?
9:27 pm, Thursday, April 8th
The date with Nick was horrible. This is way too much for me. Now I'm crying and I have to tell the story still. Nick picked me up at 6. He just yelled my name from outside my house. He didn't walk up to the door. I didn't bother to change my clothes for the date. It wasn't gonna be worth it anyways.
I ran downstairs and my mom was in the living room.
"Hey hun, where are you going?" she asked me.
"The movies with Nick. I'll be back in a couple hours." I replied and went outside. I shut the door behind me and ran down the sidewalk to where Nick waited on his motor scooter.
"You couldn't dress up for our date?" he asked, a little ticked off.
"I was really tired. I fell asleep as soon as I got home," I lied. "I would've slept all through the night if I hadn't heard you calling my name."
"Eh..." Nick grumbled and we rode off on the motor scooter.
We arrived at the theatre after a quiet but short ride. He chained the scooter to a pole and we went up to the ticket booth.
"2 tickets for Garfield." he told the lady running the ticket booth. She gave us 2 tickets and we walked into the theatre.
"Why Garfield?" I questioned.
"You got a problem with my choice? I was trying to think of a movie you might wanna see and I could put up with. That a problem?" he snarled.
"No, just curious." I shut up.
Nick went and bought a bucket of popcorn and 2 Pepsis. We walked into the theatre and I followed him as he looked for a seat. He finally found some seats and we sat down.
He gave me the popcorn and told me I could hold it in a sweet tone. I guess trying to make up for being a bastard to me. Not quite working though. I took a sip of my soda and watched the movie.
During the movie he tried to hold my hand but I pretended I didn't realize he wanted to and I reached my hand into the popcorn bucket. He took his hand away and gave up.
Nothing interesting happened after the movie, on the ride home or after I got home. He didn't talk to me, didn't say goodbye. He didn't hit me... I went into the house and went up the stairs.
"How was your date?" My mom called upstairs.
"It was good," I yelled back down. I went into my room and stayed in there. That's where I am right now. Just sitting here at my vanity.
I'm playing music on my cd player and singing along with it too. There isn't anything else to do really.
Oh, Libby called earlier to ask me how my date with Nick was. (That was one of the things Nick talked about at the table at lunch today)
"It was ok," I said.
"What do you mean 'ok'? You went out with the most popular guy at school. It had to be...amazing. Come on, what's with you, girl?" Libby responded.
"Nothing, nothing. I'm fine. I'm just not really into Nick, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah. I don't know whats wrong with you. I mean, he's so fly and he's got..."
"Ok, Libby? You like him that much; you go out with him, ok?" I hung up on her. She didn't call back. I didn't really want her to. I'm going to sleep soon.
[A/N: ok, chapter wasn't as long as the other one was but I think its long enough, right? Ok then, tell me what you guys think ok? These chapters are gonna get more and more interesting, I cant wait...]