Masochistic

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion. Gainax does. Don't sue me…I have no money…this chapter contains mild language, sexuality, and scenes of masochism…SPOILERS! Yes…again, the spoilers…I am basing this around BOTH the manga and the TV series…so some things are out of chronological order…Unfortunately, there is a slight hint of OOC…but not too much…so read on!

KEY:

Italicized words: Character thoughts

*Asterisks*: Character actions

[FLASHBACK]: Flashback…duh!

Story Title: Masochistic

Chapter two: NERV blackout

~~~~

All three EVAs stood in the cage. "Shinji…nice work," Misato said in a sarcastic voice. "Oh…thanks," he said in a depressed tone, missing the sarcasm in his surrogate mother's voice. "I'm being sarcastic! Listen up! When you hesitated, you cut the plan margin's of error down to one second!" Misato scolded. "I know…I know…I'm sorry…" he apologized, staring at the control yokes. "Sorry? I want to see you in the locker room when you get out! Don't you DARE run away! I have a lot to say to you!" Misato screamed into the communications link.

 Shinji sighed. "Yes…Major…" he said into the communications link, right before he terminated it. The beep signifying an ended transmission sounded and Shinji stepped out of his entry plug. I don't need anyone…he thought in anger. But then, he thought of Rei.

Misato stepped through the door, obviously fuming about something. You might actually have been able to see smoke emitting from her ears. "Huh?" Kaji said as she walked past him. "Hey, what are you so upset about?" he asked, walking beside her. She turned to him, her face red. "Nothing! None of your business!" she yelled in his face. He withdrew and protected himself as Misato took an aimless swing for his face. "And quite following me!" she added. "Me? I'm just headed this way," Kaji said in a levelheaded voice as Misato reached an elevator and pushed the call button.

"How about the operation you came up with?" Kaji asked, trying to lighten the mood. "One false step and we'd have been blown into itty bitty bits!" Misato yelled, stepping onto the elevator as it opened. "And I'm on my way to scold the PUNK who made that one false step! BRAIN DEAD KID!" she screamed, pushing the floor 2 button. A silence followed. Kaji did not want to excite Misato more by saying something stupid, so he didn't reply. Suddenly, the elevator came to an abrupt stop and the lights went out. "…"

"Hey! What's with the lights?! I can't see a damn thing!" Asuka yelled in her usual angry voice. "Great! One more thing to screw my day over!" Shinji yelled. Asuka and Rei stared at the young Ikari. "What?" he asked in an annoyed tone of voice.  Asuka shook off the shock of Shinji's outburst and simply said, "Idiot."

Rei's expressionless mask didn't change despite Shinji's curious behavior. "This is not a standard power outage. The lights have been out for fifty-two seconds. In such a case, the reserve generators should have some online," Rei said quietly from the shadows. Asuka jumped and clutched her chest, which was now heaving with labored breathing. "Would you please not mumble from the darkness?! I almost had a heart attack!" she yelled. Rei disregarded her comment and thought out loud, "Perhaps there was an accident."  The blue haired pilot began to walk ahead of the second and third children. "We cannot do anything here. We should go to the main tactics room," she said in her quiet, almost inaudible voice. "HEY! How come you get to be leader? You can barely even talk!" Asuka yelled, beginning to walk towards Rei.

Asuka had never liked Rei. Asuka, even though she was a good person at heart, despised the first child. She believed that Rei had no thoughts of her own and that she was just a doll.

Shinji grabbed Asuka's shoulder gently. The redhead turned and looked at who had grabbed her. "Ayanami's right," Shinji told her. The redhead bit her lip as Shinji walked up next to Rei and continued the walk to the Control Room. "Fine! Hey! Slow down! It's pitch black! Geez…deaf, blind, and mute!" Asuka teased. Shinji clenched his fist, "She is not!" he yelled. Asuka clenched her fist as though she was going to whap Shinji, but only stared at him with a murderous look. "I'm sorry. I have memorized the layout of headquarters," Rei said to the other children. She then turned forward and continued yet again. "Humph. One more chance to rub it in, I'm the new girl." Asuka mumbled, blushing slightly. 

As Asuka walked in front of the first and second children, Hyuuga ran into her.  "ACK! OWWWW!" she whined as she fell on her backside. "Dr. Akagi? What's going on?" Asuka asked the blonde doctor, completely disregarding Hyuuga's apologies. Shinji stole a glance at Rei. She noticed his stare and looked at him with her stone mask. The boy blushed and looked away. "I wish I knew," Ritsuko finally replied.

"We should consider sabotage," Akagi said to Maya. "Did you pass Misato on you're way here? She was supposed to be headed this way," Ritsuko asked the three children. "Who cares?" Shinji mumbled.

"Where's Mister Kaji?" Asuka asked in her lovey-dovey voice. "I saw him walking with the Major before the power failed," Lieutenant Ibuki reported. "What are they doing together…with the lights…out?" Asuka asked in an urgent voice. "I…think your reading too much into this," Maya said, a sweat drop forming on her short hair.

"Shinji?" Asuka turned toward the brown haired boy, a deadly serious look on her face. "We're going to go look for them," she said. "I knew you would say that…" he said in a defeated voice. "You too. You're useful in the dark," Asuka said, pointing at Rei. "No. This is not my concern," Rei said, devoid of any emotion at all. "I knew you'd say that," Asuka said, smirking. She grabbed Shinji's ear and pulled him toward the door. "Come on Shinji! We'll find them by ourselves!" she said, as if trying to make the others feel guilty for not looking for, 'her Kaji'. Shinji pulled free from her grasp. "P-please Ayanami? C-come with us…for me?" he asked, in a nervous sounding voice. The blue haired pilot considered Shinji for a moment, her crimson eyes studying his facial expression. "Fine," she said after a long silence. She walked to his side and followed Asuka and him out the door.

Everyone stared, open-mouthed. "Is there something going on between those two I should know about?" Ritsuko asked Maya. "I have no idea…"

Shinji stood right behind Rei and Asuka, trying not to let his eyes fall to their hindquarters. "So, have you two kissed yet?" Asuka asked in a non-aggressive voice. "W-what?! What're y'talking 'bout?!" Shinji asked, blushing furiously and stumbling over something in the dark. Rei just stared ahead, choosing not to answer. "C'mon, aren't you guys going out? I don't get the whole puppet attraction, though, Shinji," Asuka said in a non-caring voice, not un-like Rei's. "She's not a puppet!" Shinji said angrily, surprising himself. "Oh, is that so?" Asuka taunted. Why am I pushing? He's just an idiot right? Right…or…dammit…why does the wimp have to be the only good looking guy in Tokyo-3…except Kaji…and why does he have to like 'wondergirl'?  

Shinji looked at Rei, who looked back. "See! The way you stare at each other! You guys have got to be doing something together!" Asuka pleaded, hoping to get an answer. "Piloting," Rei said simply. "Oh, come on!" Asuka whined, stomping and accidentally causing Shinji to fly into Rei.

He fell on top of her in a very…uh…interesting position. His right hand was planted on her right breast, his face was extremely close to hers, and his legs were spread above her waist. Very similar to the last time he had fallen onto Rei, except now, she had cloths on. Shinji blushed a deep maroon color, but did not get up. He stared down at her rather beautiful face, still masked by indifference.

*PING* the elevator door to the children's right opened and all the lights came back on. Misato and Kaji were in a similar position as Rei and Shinji. "What the hell are you doing Shinji?!" Misato asked, getting off of Kaji and blushing a deep red. Shinji got off Rei and brushed himself off, then held out his hand to help the girl up. She took his hand and stared into his face as she stood up. Shinji turned to Misato. "Asuka pushed me, Major," Shinji smiled at Rei and walked back toward the Main Tactics Room.

"Have you gotten in touch with the Commander?" Misato asked the bridge bunnies. "Just now Major. The radio link is back up," Maya replied. "All right. The power lines were severed physically in twenty-seven different locations. In a further ten locations, the power was cut by means of a program which fed simulated transmission errors into the switching control subroutine," Maya reported, looking at a piece of paper with a lot of information printed on it. "At present, we are back up to 58% power," Ritsuko added, with a glance at Misato. "The point wasn't to turn the lights out…" Misato reasoned, going over the facts. "Right. They wanted to watch us turn them on again. You could deduce a lot about our layout and priorities through monitoring out recovery process," Ritsuko said in a mysterious sort of voice. "This is bad…" Misato mumbled, chewing on her thumbnail. "I had the Magi run a recovery program that's full of misinformation. I doubt they'll get a clear picture, at any rate," Ritsuko said, taking a sip from her NERV coffee cup. "What's bad it that the first real damage done to headquarters wasn't done by an angel, but by one of us…" Maya said, turning to look at her superiors. "But…who exactly?" the purple haired Major asked. "One of our own, as Lieutenant Ibuki said," Ritsuko stated, putting her NERV cup down. "Our own? You mean within NERV itself?" Misato asked, folding her arms. "We're running checks on all personnel. But I don't think that the culprit's gone far," Ritsuko faced Misato and added, in an undertone, "They say that the closer someone is to you…the more they…blur…" Misato was silent for a long time before replying, "He was with me when the power went out." Ritsuko sighed. "True. I suppose, if you were the suspicious type, you would consider that as misinformation," the doctor said. "There may be more than one enemy here!" Misato said angrily.

Shinji gave Pen-Pen the fish in his hand. The penguin squeaked thankfully and gobbled the fish down. "I've got to get going! Asuka, are you still asleep?" Shinji asked through Asuka's door. "Shinjiiiiiiii!" Asuka moaned, holding her stomach and appearing at her door in her pajamas. "Don't go to school," she demanded in a weak voice. "Huh? Why not?" he asked, bewildered. "'Cause I said so! You're going to give Kaji this letter!" she said, stuffing an envelope into Shinji's hand. "Why?" he asked, looking at the letter. "Because of you…he think I am some bitch who forced you into Ayanami! You're going to go explain it all to him," she said in a desperate voice. Shinji couldn't help but feel pity for the redhead. "I would go myself, but I'm in the second day of my period and I'm one giant cramp," she said, wincing a bit. "I didn't want to know that, Asuka…"

"Please…after you said that I had forced you into the first…how am I supposed to face Kaji?" she sounded so urgent, Shinji accepted his task. "All right, I'll go," he said. Asuka gave her rare, beautiful, genuine smile. "What's the letter for though?" Shinji asked. "You don't think I trust you to explain it on your own?" she said with a sly smile. "Don't you dare look inside!" she yelled at him as he walked out the door.

When you're told not to look…it makes you want to look more he mused. Shinji held the envelope to the light and attempted to read what was inside.

'Stupid Shinji forced himself on me didn't succeed. Went after Ayanami. Trust you have nothing to do with Misato

I love you, Asuka'

"…" Shinji crumpled the letter and stuck it in his pocket. On second thought…I better explain it in my own words…he thought.

Shinji aimlessly wondered the streets. GREAT! I'm lost again! he thought angrily. He stepped around a corner and spotted Misato walking with a 9mm in her hand. What the hell? She didn't even notice me…

Kaji pulled a stolen security card from his jacket. He was about to open a metallic door labeled, 'Terminal Dogma', but suddenly, cold steel pressed against his skull. "Oh…it's you," Kaji said rather calmly. "Is this your real job? Or just some part time work?" Misato asked angrily. "I wonder," Kaji replied sarcastically. "Are you Ryoji Kaji, special agent, United Nations NERV…or Ryoji Kaji, special investigator, Japanese Ministry of the Interior?" she asked with anger still present in her voice. "You know?" Kaji asked with a smirk. "Don't underestimate us!" Misato yelled, loading the pistol pressed to Kaji's head. "I'll keep this to myself for now, but keep moonlighting around and you will die," Misato said evenly. Kaji chuckled, despite the loaded gun pointing at his head. "Commander Ikari knows who I am, but he still finds me useful," he said. "What?" Misato lowered her pistol and stared at the man she had once called, 'lover'. "You need information Misato," he said, swiping his card through the I.D. check on the door. It began to open, creaking as the large doors slowly split a path for them.

Inside was mostly dark, except for one thing. "NO!" Misato screamed. Her gun clattered to the floor and her hands shot up to her mouth, stifling further noise. A large angel with seven eyes was crucified in the middle of the room. It had no legs, just human torso's sprouting from its lower region. Blood poured down the cross, as it's seven sad eyes focused on the NERV employees.

"This is the instrumentality project. This is also known as Project-E. This is the beginning of everything…Adam…" Kaji said, staring up at the tortured creature with a smile. "I…see…" Misato shook her head and turned around to find Shinji in the doorway staring up at the angel in horror. "Shinji! What the hell are you doing here?!" Misato shook him by his shoulders. His pupils dilated and he had trouble not passing out. 

"I don't think I have to tell you this, but forget what you saw back there," Misato said to Shinji, accelerating her car down the highway. "Okay…" they didn't talk all the rest of the way to NERV headquarters. It had been a day since Shinji had found the Major and Kaji in the room with…the angel.

"What's wrong with Shinji, Misato? His synch rate is down dramatically. And just after he'd been making real progress," Ritsuko said, shaking her head. "Okay! You three can finish up now!"    Ritsuko said into the communications link.

"What's the status?" Commander Ikari asked. His sunglasses were on, like usual and his hands were folded together in their usual manner. "All three check out. No problems. No indication of any damage from the blackout," Ritsuko replied. "I see. Good."

Shinji sat staring at the wall. What were you doing to that creature, father? He thought. The image of the angel came back. "Ikari…?" a small voice asked. Shinji looked up to see Rei standing in front of him. "Is something wrong? It…looks as if you are depressed," she said, her eyes drooped from lack of sleep. "Maybe. I don't know," Shinji said, standing and looking at her, face to face. "Like you told me…I tried to talk to the Commander…but…well…It was no good…I don't think my father and I will ever talk again…" he stared into her sunset eyes.  He slowly took a step toward her. Tears began to fall from his cheeks and, unexpectedly, he flung his arms around her and sobbed into her shoulder.

She froze and looked down at him in confusion. Shinji didn't know how long it took before she put her own arms around him, completing the hug. "Rei *Sniff* I just wanted…to hear those three words from him…" Shinji pulled away, feeling like an utter idiot for crying in front of her. "I'm…sorry…" she said, her voice now different then how it usually was.

Despite his embarrassment, Shinji moved toward Rei once more. This time, he leaned in for a kiss. He didn't know why, it was just his instinct. Rei didn't say anything; in fact, Shinji could have sworn that her head tilted a little to provide easier access for Shinji. Their lips gently brushed against each other and pushed into the kiss more. She suddenly pulled back, blushing heavily for the first time Shinji had ever seen. "Ikari…I must go," she said, running out the door.

Asuka walked in after Rei had left with a disgusted look on her face. "Did you deliver the letter?" she asked impatiently. Shinji pulled the crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. "Give it to him yourself," he said, walking out of the room, despite her threats.

He walked blindly down the street, almost being run over several times. "What's up man? You walk around in that daze and you're going to be road kill," Kaji said, pulling up beside Shinji in his convertible. "Mr. Kaji…" Shinji mumbled, remembering the angel. "Headed home, right? I'll give you a ride," he offered. "I want to talk to you a little," he said, lighting a cigarette.

Shinji decided to get in the car and Kaji drove off at about 70 mph, pulling shades onto his face. The wind ruffled Shinji's hair and felt good against his face. "I won't tell anyone about the other day," Shinji said. "That works for me," Kaji said, cheerfully. "Misato told me to forget about it," the brown haired boy said. "You can forget about it…because you're ordered to?" Kaji asked, pulling the cigarette from his mouth and exhaling. "…" Shinji did not answer. "Shinji…you know…I'm glad you saw what you did…there are a lot of other things you should see…why don't we make a day of it?" he asked, speeding up and driving toward an aquarium place. "O-okay…" Shinji said, gripping his chair tightly.  

"Shinji…let's talk about an organization called NERV," Kaji said to the boy. They were seated on a bench in front of a glass aquarium with many exotic animals and plants. "Okay. It's a special agency chartered under the UN right? A defense organization against a barely understood enemy, code named, 'angel's'." Kaji didn't look at Shinji as he spoke. "Have you ever wondered why the monsters only attack Tokyo-3? No other cities? It's as if they're after NERV itself, right? And why the only things capable of fighting the angels are based here. As if they were waiting for them," Kaji said, still staring into nothingness. "What do you mean?" Shinji asked, totally lost. "I mean that they did know. Everything has been set up from the start. Your father had the entire scenario before him. The second impact in 2000," Kaji still stared at nothing. "Why…is his all…?" Shinji trailed off. "SEELE. That's the name of the organization behind your father. They're a secret society. Some people think they've been running the world for thousands of years. They paid for NERV, they built it, SEELE possesses the Dead Sea Scrolls. The scrolls serve as their bible…among other things…The scrolls and the secrets within are older than people believe. As old as humanity itself, if what I've turned up is true….The entire history of the human race is written there. Just so you understand. By entire, I mean ENTIRE. Past, present, and even future." He took a long puff of his cigarette.

"Wait a minute! Why are you telling me this? What difference does it make? All I am to my father is a playing piece in some game! I'm just one of his pilots! There's no point in telling me!" Shinji yelled, staring at the ground, despite the stares of those around them. "You're wrong. You not only have the right, but a duty to know the truth. You're the child of Dr. Yui Ikari…who created Gendo Ikari and the Evangelion," Kaji said, turning and looking straight at Shinji. "EVA, born from Adam. Your mother solved that primary problem. He saw what cracking the human genome meant. As a scientist, she was fearless," He continued, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth, exhaling the toxic fume. "The mom I knew…was never in any lab," Shinji said, putting his head in his hands. All the life drained from his face and he tried not to remember. "She was…just a normal mom…until father made her a test subject…and she died…" he began to sweat badly, dryness clenching his mouth. "Is that what people told you? No, you must've seen it with your own eyes. The moment your mother vanished. You're just shutting out that painful memory…keeping it from your conscious thought," Kaji said, putting the cigarette back between his lips and taking a deep breath. To onlookers, Shinji appeared to be freaking out.

~~~[FLASHBACK]~~~

"Ikari, what is a child doing here?"

"This is a very important experiment and…"

"I'm sorry Dr. Fuyutsuki…I brought him,"

"But you…today is your big day!"

"That's exactly why. I want him to remember this day…to show him humanities brightest moment!"

That's right…I knew all along…

"What's wrong? What's happening!? FLAT LINE! NO VITAL SIGNS ON TEST SUBJECT! ABORT TEST! YUI!"

I…I knew about the Evangelion!

~~~[END FLASHBACK]~~~

Shinji began convulsing badly as he remembered. He had spent so much time trying to forget, only to have it brought back like a ton of bricks. "I'm sorry…you shouldn't force yourself…But, Shinji…you mustn't look away…from the truth." Kaji put his arm around Shinji and helped the poor boy up.

Continued

Author Notes: Heh…the plot thickens! This chapter was all about the plot behind NERV, Gendo, and SEELE. Though there is still a lot to be revealed, you know the basic plot. Some Asuka fans might be pissed at me for my portrayal of her…but I can't help it! I am not good at writing Asuka…anyway…There's more to come, soon! I am currently typing up Chapter three…so…Stay tuned!

Next Chapter: Sick