Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion.

Hey, you guys don't have to wait very long! Thank you for all the great feedback! Same alerts as last chapter: look for new stories, when I get the time to write on those ones and finish this one. I'll update Breaking Down Walls and Valentine soon! I promise!

This story is rated R for language, violence, and sexual content.

Story Title: Masochistic

Author: Mosher-24

Chapter Fourteen: Mind rape should be illegal…

~*~*~*~*

The day had passed without incident. Asuka had gone to school, after properly reaming Shinji for fixing her breakfast in the wrong way. Misato was hung over, but happy, and Pen-Pen kept hugging Shinji's leg.

Despite being yelled at and hit by Asuka, Shinji was happy. This apartment was home to him, no matter how cool Kaji was, or what he let Shinji do. Misato was always his mom, Asuka always his sister.

Through the time he had been at Kaji's, he had grown apart from Misato and Asuka, seeing them only in NERV emergencies and tests.

Now that he was back, he could get close to them again, become a family again.

Shinji cleaned off the last of the dishes from the small table. There was a smoking pan, still smelling of the eggs that had just occupied it a few minutes before. He took the pan to the kitchen and put it in the sink, letting cold water run over it.

He took his apron off and hung it on a hook on the wall. The apartment smelled of eggs and toast now, light filtering in through the open blinds on the windows by the TV. The kitchen was littered with dirty dishes, beer cans, and paper towels and napkins.

Misato was lying on the couch, mumbling about her headache. Shinji went to the bathroom and got some acetaminophen, then brought her a glass of water to swallow the pill with.

"Thank you Shinji. It's good to have you back," Misato said with a smile. She swallowed the pill and put the glass back down. Her eyes were rimmed with redness from the exertion of work.

"I'll clean the rest up," Shinji said, taking her glass and putting it into the dishwasher. He took time to rinse off the rest of the dirty dishes and put them into the washer too, before putting it on the quick wash setting and closing the door. The washer started almost immediately.

"So… Misato… do you know anything about the strange events with Rei?" Shinji asked delicately, not knowing whether it was too classified for him.

Misato, still being hung over and not able to think right, did not remember that Shinji was not supposed to know.

"The Commander does not want you and Rei to be together… He tortured Rei in the machine thing and she still didn't listen, so she's been frequented by Dr. Akagi, who's been injecting her in her home with the drugs… Uhgn," Misato groaned. She put her head in her hands and sighed.

"I think I need to retire to my room, Shinji. Don't light the house on fire, okay?" Misato said, getting up and lumbering off to her room. Shinji stared after her, astonished by the news about Rei.

Dad… how could you?! Shinji thought angrily. His lips pressed together tightly, turning white and forming a thin line. He started to shake with anger and Pen-Pen backed off.

Misato's even breathing from the other room calmed Shinji down. He looked at Pen-Pen, who backed off more.

"I'm not gonna hurt you buddy. I just don't understand why Rei never told me…" Shinji said to the little penguin. Pen-Pen shrugged and grabbed his beer. He sat down on the couch and slapped the remote to turn the television on. Shinji went into his room, which was back in the closet where it used to be.

The room was a bit different. His Cello was sitting out since Shinji was too lazy to put it away after playing it. The desk was on the opposite side as it had previously been and his bed had black sheets instead of white. His closet was again full of school uniforms and only a couple pairs of jeans.

Shinji had thrown out his SDAT, having worn out the classical tape. He had a knife tucked away in the desk, but he wasn't interested right now. He picked up his cell phone and dialed Rei's number.

The phone rang before going over to Rei's voice mail.

"You have reached Rei Ayanami's voice mail. Please leave a message after the tone," Rei's soft voice said in Shinji's ear. Hearing her calmed Shinji down and stopped his shaking.

"Rei? Well, call me on my cell phone when you get this, okay? I need to talk to you," Shinji said after the tone. He added, "I love you," and hung up.

Shakily, he reached into the desk and retrieved the knife. Staring down at it, he sighed and put it back.

"No… not now," he said to no one. He reached down and pulled the cello to him, sitting down on his bed and standing the cello up. He grabbed the bow and gently drug it over the strings.

A soft note rang through his room; he then brought it heavily over another string and created a harsher, louder note. Melody swept over his room, gentle, then angry and loud, then peaceful and continuing in a circle that was so complete, so life like, that Shinji wrote it down on a piece of paper and entitled it 'Sonata of Life'. There were three parts named 'Birth', 'Love', and 'Death'. All together, it was about twenty minutes.

Unbeknownst to Shinji, Rei was watching from his door with a soft smile on her face. When Shinji was done with his newly composed song, he looked down at the cello and put it into its leather case.

When the cello was away, Shinji stood and reached for the knife once more. The smell of cedar met his nose when he opened the drawer. He smiled and brought the gleaming knife out. The handle was black and the blade was serrated at the edge.

The third child brought the knife to his forearm, which was scarred with cuts already. As he was about to slash, a cold hand pressed against his and brought the knife away. Another hand caressed his cheek and he looked up to see Rei's crimson eyes staring into his. She was wearing a loose cardigan shirt and the school skirt.

"Please don't Shinji… I cannot see you hurt yourself," Rei whispered. Shinji stared into her eyes and dropped the knife to the floor. He felt his addiction die with the fall.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear. He felt a sudden flash of excitement flood through her and she shivered at his breath on her ear. She nodded and looked up into his eyes.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too," he replied, gently drawing her face to his. He kissed her deeply and put his arms around her. She pressed herself against him and kissed him back.


Everything seemed to blur to Shinji except for his lover, who was ever present to him. He gently brushed his fingers against her sides, under her shirt and up her sides, then gently up the small of her back, to her mid-back. He undid the fastening on her bra and let it fall out from under her loose shirt.

He heard a sharp intake of breath as he brought his hands around to her stomach and moved his hands up her shirt to her breasts.

Rei whispered, "I love you," into his ear and kissed his neck.

Shinji unbuttoned the cardigan and let it fall to the floor next to her bra. He gently laid Rei out on the bed and kissed her neck, down her chest and her stomach. He pulled her skirt down and threw it to the floor.

Rei wrapped her legs around Shinji after his own pants fell to the floor. She moaned as he kissed her neck again and pushed himself into her once more.

*~*~*~*~*

"Sir?" Ritsuko risked as she lay in bed next to the commander, just putting her phone down from talking to Maya.

"Yes Akagi," Gendo answered, his back to the blonde doctor.

"Lieutenant Ibuki can't find Ayanami. She isn't at her house or at NERV… which means she is probably at Katsuragi's house…"

"Yes… How will we get it through that girl's head? Do we have any agents on hand?"

"No sir, we have bigger problems. There's a blue pattern A.T. field on its way to NERV, traveling extremely fast. It'll be here in two hours,"

"Okay… Issue the angel alarm and summon the pilots. We'll deal with Rei later. Let's get to work," Gendo said, standing up and pulling his pants on.

Ritsuko sighed and stood also, getting ready.

*~*~*~*~*

Asuka was just grabbing her backpack when she heard the angel alarm whine and spread throughout the whole city.

The students in the hallway began screaming and running for the angel shelters.

"Dammit! I'll see you later Hikari!" Asuka yelled to her friend before running out of the school. The streets were devoid of human life as Asuka ran down the middle of the road. She turned right to an old building with a secret NERV entrance. She swiped her card and entered the endless maze of hallways.

Turning right, left, right and then right, she ended up at the elevator and swiped her card through the middle of the numbers. The elevator hummed to life and carried her down to the changing room before the EVA cages.

Rei and Shinji were exiting the changing room right as she arrived, already in their respective plug suits. Asuka ran into the room and quickly changed into her suit and pressurized it.

As she ran to the EVA cages, unit-00 and 01 were being launched. She ran to 02 and entered the plug. It was empty except for the chair with the control yokes. She sat in it and waited for the control tower to initiate her EVA.

A slow vibration started through her body, reverberating within the tiny shell of an entry plug. The most beautiful color spectrum she'd ever seen passed over her eyes and she saw the EVA being lifted to the surface. She began to synch into the EVA and felt the extremities come to life.

"Asuka! Don't walk too close! This angel is in an orbit around Earth and appears to have strong enough powers to reach down here. Beacons one and two are all static and the new proximity matrices around NERV are going haywire. It seems to have a strange amount of kinetic energy. N2 mines have no effect and electromagnetic attacks don't do anything. Relatively speaking, we're fucked if we don't figure something out soon," Misato said over the comm. net.

"Oh, come on! This thing isn't that powerful!" Asuka yelled. She willed her EVA forward and picked up a riffle. Aiming the targeting crosshair, she fired off into the air where the black speck of the angel loomed in the air.

Rei, who was usually reticent, called out for her to stop, but it was too late. Asuka's scream echoed throughout all the comm. net channels.

"No! No! OUT of my head!" the second child screamed. She grabbed her head and curled up in her seat.

'Mommy! I'm back! Look what I got from Marcy! Mommy-!'

There she was… hanging from the ceiling on a rope she had tied on a pipeline. She had broken a hole in the ceiling to reach the pipeline. Her eyes were getting darker and she had enough energy left to smile at her daughter before closing her eyes and drifting off into nothingness.

A trickle of blood had started from her mouth and her right ear. Her face was already pale from the loss of blood.


Asuka stood and stared at her mother, now dead to her forever without a goodbye or an 'I love you' between them. She fell to her knees and began to sob, forgetting the dull gray living room where she had so often played games with her mother; braiding hair, cards, board games. A salty taste in her mouth meant that a stream of her tears had crept into the corner of her mouth.

'You know, you were the reason she killed herself,' came a harsh, cold, unisex voice.

"NO! No I wasn't! She loved me! Mommy!" Asuka screamed. To everyone else but Asuka, it appeared she was talking to herself. She was crying now, grasping her head, and trying to get the angel out.

'No, she never loved you. You were only a burden, as you are now. You are good for nothing,' the angel said into her ear, a voice of venom, poisoning Asuka's very life, and worse: her mind.

A large amount of pain shot through her body and she began to shake and convulse, sobbing into her hands. She had ripped out chunks of her hair by now.

'And your dad… He never loved you. That's why he hurt you,' the angel said, bringing up an image from her deep, dark past involving her father's sexually abusive tendencies. Asuka screamed and writhed in her chair, shutting her eyes so hard that they began to numb.

"STOP! PLEASE!" she screamed, begging for her sanity. Her tears turned to blood and she got a steady nosebleed from the pain inflicted on her.

"Cut synch," Gendo ordered. Asuka was left sobbing in the dark, her EVA shut off.

"Rei. Get the lance," Gendo said.

"But sir? What about the angel?" Rei said, referring to Adam.

"Don't worry about it. It's time," Gendo said.

"Yes sir," Rei replied, willing her EVA to head to the depths of terminal dogma. Shinji watched her go, wondering what the hell the Commander was talking about.

"What do I do?" Shinji asked, feeling useless.

"Wait," Gendo replied, his voice even.

Shinji sighed and looked up at the angel. His vision flashed and he was looking at his mother again, in the depths of NERV. She disappeared from his sight, him looking on helplessly as she died.

"Stop." Shinji commanded simply. The angel sent a burning pain down his spine and caused him to cry out.

Rei hurried through the last door of terminal dogma to Adam. He was crucified on the cross with the Lance of Longinus sticking from his chest. His torso was still sprouting human legs, and he was still bleeding into the machine that made LCL.

00 pulled the lance from its chest and started back. Rei could hear her lover screaming and she hurried the EVA faster.

It went through the doors as if in a dream, Rei only focusing on her lovers suffering. She came to the spot where 01 and 02 were on the ground, both having their synch cut. Rei pulled back her arm and let the lance fly. It went at sonic speed and impaled the angel, which blew up, sending shards of itself back to the surface, along with the lance.

Later, when they retrieved Asuka from her entry plug, she was rocking back and forth, her knees hugged to her chest, singing 'I'm a little tea-pot' and smiling evilly. They sent her to the psychiatric division of the infirmary.

Shinji woke in the infirmary to see the dreaded ceiling, but what disappointed him more was that Rei was not there. In fact, no one but Fuyutsuki and Gendo knew where she was, which meant she was again at the machine.

Continued…..

Author's Notes: A smaller chapter. Sorry. I'll make the next one longer.