Okay, this is the first thing I've written since I posted the last chapter of… . I can't remember. And I'm too tired and lazy to look it up. Anyway, yeah. It's in first person. I'm not the best at it, but, it's the best POV to use for the story I want to tell. But yeah… ummm… just read it. I can't think of what else to say….
I'm not exactly sure how it happened. But it has. I don't even remember exactly when I told him. But I have. I wish I hadn't. It was my secret. No one knew. And I was fooling everyone. No one even suspected the truth. So how and why did I let it out. I know he won't tell anyone. But still, now he knows. And he'll want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it.
I jump slightly as a hand touches my shoulder.
"Calm down, Rowen, it's just me."
"Sorry, Sage. You startled me." I say quickly, putting on a fake grin. "Guess I was just really deep in thought." Sage raised his one visible eyebrow in question and starts to open his mouth. "You know, with that big psychology exam today." I can tell he doesn't buy my lie. Luckily for me, the teacher decides to start class. I kinda like this class. Well, rather, the book we're currently reading isn't bad. The Catcher in the Rye. Holden gets depressed over everything. We haven't gotten to the end yet. But she did tell us he's in a mental institution talking to a psychologist. Sage wants me to talk to someone. But I don't want to. In a way, it's kind of nice having someone to talk to… but. I don't know.
"Mr. Hashiba."
Uh-Oh. Mrs. Greenly, my English teacher. She's looking at me for an answer. Oh, wait, what were we talking about? The Catcher in the Rye. We just finished chapter 16… so it must be a question dealing with that chapter. The little boy, it must be about him. I quickly look at my worksheet for the question: "What is the little boy who is walking with his parents singing? Does that make Holden feel better or worse?" Well, here's hoping…
"If a body catch a body coming through the rye." Quoting the boy from the book.
"Very good. Now, who can answer the next part of the question?"
I sigh inwardly. I was lucky, but I may not be so lucky next time. Better pay attention.
When the class finally ends, I get up and head to my next class, which Sage is thankfully not in. I have a feeling he's watching me.
Next class is history. We have a test on WWII. All that stuff on the Nazi's. The Holocaust. It's one of those things that's hard to fathom. You just have to be there to fully grasp it. And even then. It's just so out there. So disturbing, that you don't want to deal. But, what choice does life give us?
Receiving my test, I begin. The questions are kind of hard. Guess I should have studied. I'd begun doing that lately. Not studying. I still did homework and all that jazz- that's a good song, "All that Jazz", from Chicago- anyway, yeah, I've been slacking. Yet, I somehow have managed to keep all my A's. Then again, it would be bad if they slipped. Then everyone would realize something was wrong. They'd know I wasn't who they thought I was. If they knew the whole truth, they'd all leave. They might stay out of pity for a while. But only for a while.
After turning in my test, I see that I still have 15 minutes to kill. I take out The Catcher in the Rye and continue reading. I don't want to be stuck thinking. Nothing good ever comes of it. Not for me at least.
The bell rings and I go to computer class. We just started to do work with html coding. It's really not that hard. We had a quiz today. Blah, boring. But easy.
Next was math, Pre-Calculus Honors to be precise. I'm the top kid in the class. Yay. Mentally rolling my eyes, I take my seat half-way down the second row. And life goes on.
The teacher hands back yesterday's test. Mr. Briggs is different from other teachers here. He likes coming to school. Loves his job in general. And always gives a test or quiz every Thursday. At least he's predictable. And the class really isn't bad. It's better then the teacher in my computer class with her monotone voice.
Glancing at my test as he reviews the answers, I note the '105%' at the top. Mentally shrugging, I put it away. Mr. Briggs also always has a bonus on all tests. But he never allows or gives extra credit in the class.
The bell rings. Lunch. I groan inwardly. I probably should eat. Especially since I skipped breakfast. Must be why history seemed so hard. Not eating makes me light-headed. But I don't mind that much. Some, especially Kento, could never imagine skipping a meal. He'd complain his stomach hurt. Mine doesn't hurt. Just feels empty. And I get slightly air-headed. But the emptiness kinda feels good. That should probably worry me. But my head's a little too light to think. But I don't feel much like eating. But maybe I should. My mind feels like it's going in circles. I hope I don't get dizzy.
I'm in the lunch room. Lunch in hand. I seem to be on automatic. Not that I've done anything different for the past year. Well, school year. Two months left. Reaching the 'back' table, I take my usual seat with my back to the room. Works well, don't have to worry too much about eye contact.
"Hey, Rowen!" Kento exclaimed, sitting down to my right. "You got here rather quick today. Are you real hungry or something?"
I know what he was really asking. He was asking if he could have some of my lunch. Quickly glancing to make sure Sage wasn't coming, I gave Kento my sandwich and apple. Unlike the crackers and juice I had, they would go bad if left in my locker till tomorrow. Or who knows when.
"You sure I can have all this?" Kento asked, wide-eyed. "I mean, aren't you…"
I cut him off with a wave of my hand, "Sure, I'm sure. I had a large breakfast so I'm not really too hungry."
"All right!" he beamed. "You're the best, man!
"What did you do?" Cye asked as he sat next to Kento.
"Just gave him some of my lunch."
Cye just smiled and chuckled a bit before starting his lunch. Seeing Sage and Ryo entering the cafeteria, I quickly put the crackers into my backpack and took out my juice and began to drink it.
Sage sat next to me and Ryo between him and Cye.
"Aren't you eating, Rowen?" Sage asked immediately. Eyeing me suspiciously. And with concern.
Crap. Everyone looked at me.
"He said he had a large breakfast, so he gave me some of his." Kento jumped in.
I relaxed a bit. I knew I couldn't get away with lying to Sage forever. He always seemed to know when I was lying.
"So, what are you eating then, Rowen?"
Why couldn't Sage just let it drop!
"AH MAN!" Kento and Cye both exclaimed, jumping up. Some kid had tripped and spilled his lunch all over the two of them. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all.
"I'll go get some paper towels." Jumping up and leaving before Sage could protest I headed for the bathroom. After getting a whole bunch, I turn and start to head out the door… as a certain blonde is coming in… crap.
"Hey, Ro-"
"Hey." I smile, cutting him off, holding up the paper towels up as a form of explaination, but keep walking.
After everything was cleaned-up, we all settled into light conversation. Before lunch ended, we decided to go hang out at the park that afternoon and play basketball.
Chemistry and economics went by in a blur. Then, came the last period of the day. I don't know whether to be happy or sad about it. But I do sort of dred it. Sage is in there. There'll be no escaping him after school. I just hope he won't talk in the crowded hallway… that might give me time to find the others so I can avoid having to talk to him. Alone.
Taking my usual seat next to him, just as the bell rings, I try very hard not to look in his direction. But at the same time, try not to look like I was avoiding looking at him.
The teacher passed out the test. Joy. Normally I'm the first done. Today, I was almost the last person. I had to keep re-reading each question. I couldn't get them to make sense. Maybe I should start eating three meals a day again. But it was so much effort. Besides, I've been fine the past two weeks with only one meal a day. Though the main reason I actually ate was because I always ate dinner with my parents. And if I didn't eat, they'd know something was not quite right. I couldn't have that. They'd probably send me to a psychologist.
Class ended. Heading out the door with Sage, I was saved by Ryo who immediately joined us. Today was a good day.
Okay, that was is it. Bad? Good? Please R&R! I won't post till I get at least one review. Just one, that's all I ask…. cuddles chibi Rowen mine….