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Disclaimer - I am not Tolkien.
Ever After - Chapter 2
He remembered asking Arwen to take care of Estel and he had a fuzzy memory of telling his friends he would miss them, but if there had been anything after that, he wasn't aware of it. He had been consumed by darkness and then wrapped in a great light. His next clear memory was finding himself in the Halls of Mandos. That had been an interesting time. He'd been - understandably- disorientated and had not really known what to expect. He soon discovered that the halls, though light, airy and comfortable, left one with a sense of unease and a feeling of not belonging. Still, he'd been somewhat surprised when he'd been moved on to Valinor after a scant five years. He'd expected to be in Mandos' Halls a lot longer - a few hundred years at least. But Lord Mandos had seemed to want him to go to Valinor much sooner that that and Legolas was not one to complain. Besides, Valinor was much nicer than these halls, he was sure.
The beauty of Valinor was everything he'd ever expected and more. Blue sky, green grass and perfectly formed trees that made up vast forests where white deer ran. Around the forests were the homes of many hundreds of elves, all linked to a path that led to a shining silver city. The great city where many of the greatest elves now resided. Legolas had only been there once, when he had first arrived. They had offered him a home there, but he had felt more comfortable in the Woods. Though Sindarin by heritage, he was a wood-elf at heart and was most at home in the forest. The cities of the Noldor were not for him. His mother was the same and he was now residing in her home built high in the trees.
On the surface of it all, everything was perfect, but deep inside him, the Prince was screaming. He felt trapped, caged. He had been here seven years, but it felt like seven thousand. What was worse though, was that he did not even understand why he felt the way he did. He did not regret the actions that had lead to his death, he had saved Gimli's life and if he had the chance to do it all again, he knew he would change nothing. So why was he so angry? So unsettled? Why could he not feel Valinor's peace? No matter how hard he tried, he could not find the answers to his questions and that only increased his frustration.
So lost in his thoughts was he, that he did not hear someone swiftly climbing the tree he sat in and walking up to him. "Legolas?" The newcomer questioned. When he received no reply he waved his hand in the other's face. "Legolas!" The Prince turned and glared at the other elf.
"Go away Haldir!" He snapped. "I wish to be alone." He turned his back on the Lorien Elf. Haldir was not put off however and sat himself down on the branch near the Prince. They sat in silence for a time until Legolas realised that Haldir was not going to go away anytime soon. "What do you want?" He asked irritably. Haldir sighed and reached out to grasp his friend's arm.
"I want to know what is wrong Legolas. Everyone is worried about you, especially your mother. You have been in Valinor for seven years. You should have settled by now." He broke off and looked at the Prince.
"I'm fine." Said Legolas shortly. Haldir shook his head.
"No you're not. I've known you a long time mellon nin and I have never known you to act like this. There is more here than what you've told your mother. So," - And here he grinned- "Until you tell me what is wrong, I am not going to leave your side!" Legolas visibly slumped. He knew Haldir spoke the truth. He was never going to get any peace until he'd told him everything. And who could say? Maybe Haldir could actually help. He'd been dead longer, maybe he knew how he was feeling. He turned slowly and looked at the one-time March Warden.
"Very well." He sighed. "You win. I will tell you." He took a deep breath and began to speak. "Ever since I died nothing has felt right. I do not know how to describe it, but everything feels wrong. As if there was something I was supposed to do before I left Middle-Earth." His face darkened. "I was not ready!" Haldir's eyes opened wide.
"And I was?!" He exclaimed. "Legolas, no one wants to die, but it happens sometimes, even to elves. You know that. We all go through that feeling of incompletion. But you have to move past it." Legolas met his friend's gaze and held it.
"Tell me Haldir," He said softly. "Does it usually last this long?" Haldir sighed.
"No." He replied. "I have never known it to last longer than a few months. Perhaps there is something else that is effecting you." Legolas looked away then, not meeting his friend's eyes. "Legolas?" He prompted. Staring down at the ground, Legolas muttered something that the Lorien elf couldn't quite hear. "What did you say?" He questioned.
"The sea longing." Said Legolas quietly. It's still here Haldir, it hasn't gone away." Haldir was stunned.
"How can that be?! He cried. "The sea-longing is the call to Valinor, now you are here, it should have been sated."
"I know." Legolas replied. "But perhaps we were wrong. Perhaps the sea-longing is about the journey, the journey that was denied me. Or it could be because most elves sail soon after feeling the sea's call and I did not. I stayed for Aragorn. Maybe it had an effect on me that I was unaware of." He shrugged. "I do not know. All I know for certain is that the sea-longing still stirs within me. And...." He trailed off.
"Yes?" Haldir encouraged him.
"Something else." Legolas said. "A shadow in the back of my mind. A feeling that something is terribly wrong in Middle-Earth. I can't explain it." He put his head in his hands. "I'm a mess Haldir. I don't know what's going on anymore." The March Warden edged slightly closer to Legolas and wrapped a comforting arm around the Prince's shoulders.
"Try not to worry Legolas." He said gently. "We'll figure it out, I promise." He smiled. But why don't we try to relax for a while? Lets go hunting." Legolas shrugged.
"Why not?." He said. "Perhaps it will help." The two elves jumped lightly from the tree and headed to the forest, stopping at Legolas' home to collect his weapons. As they walked along, a thought struck Legolas. "You know." He said thoughtfully. "I went hunting the day I died. I caught a deer, two partridge and a rabbit that day. He frowned. I was really looking forward to dinner!" Haldir laughed.
"I know the feeling!" He replied. "I was looking forward to a really good nights sleep when I was killed!" He smiled. "Dying really ruins your day, doesn't it?!" At that, Legolas actually grinned.
"It certainly does!" Feeling more light-hearted than he had done since coming to Valinor, Legolas went off to hunt some deer, putting aside for the moment the worries in his mind.
Arwen looked at Aragorn from the balcony of their rooms. The King was wandering the gardens, pausing occasionally to stare at the stars. A deep but familiar sorrow filled her heart. He did that a lot these days. It had been nearly twelve years since Legolas was killed, but Aragorn had never gotten over his friend's death. He always put on a good face for his people, but in reality, his grief still ran as deep as it did the day his friend died.
Arwen cast her mind back to that dreadful time twelve years ago. She remembered how the days following Legolas' death had been sheer hell.
*Flashback*
"Estel?" Arwen gently tried to call her husband's attention to her. Legolas had been dead for two days and in that time the former ranger had not spoken at all. He had not even left his room since placing his friend in the stone room of waiting where all deceased royalty was prepared for the final journey. "Estel?" She tried again. "Estel, Ada has come, our brothers too. Won't you come with me to greet them?" He looked at her, his mind slowly processing her words.
"Ada?" He said questioningly. His wife nodded, relived that he had finally spoken, even if it was but a single word.
"Yes and Elladan and Elrohir too. Come Estel, let us go and see them." Taking her husband's arm, she gently guided him out of the room.
They walked a short way to the large open courtyard in the centre of the palace. There, they could see Elrond and his sons waiting.
Elladan saw his brother coming and ran to him. Throwing his arms around the human, he held him tightly. "Oh Estel." He whispered. "I'm so sorry. We came as soon as we heard. I just can't believe it!" Unable to cope with his brother's emotions, Aragorn pulled away. Fresh tears pricked at his eyes and he barely registered Elrond and Elrohir's approach. Elrohir stood to the side as Elrond went to his son. Placing his hand under Estel's chin, he gently forced the human to look at him.
"Estel." Aragorn raised his eyes to look at his father, but he was unprepared for what he found. The elf-lord had clearly been crying. Glancing at his brothers he saw similar expressions of grief on them. With something akin to shock he realised.
"It's not just me. I'm not the only one who's going to miss Legolas." He swallowed hard and tried to speak. "Ada, I - I - You came." He stuttered. Elrond pulled his son into his arms.
"Oh Estel, of course. Legolas was loved by many, but to you, Elladan and Elrohir he was as a brother. He was a part of our family and his loss is a terrible tragedy. We had to come." Aragorn nodded and clung to Elrond.
"I feel so lost." He whispered. "I don't know what to do."
"Shhh." Elrond soothed. "Try to relax. We will help you."
They had finally moved to Aragorn's chambers. The King was asleep, worn out by his grief. Arwen sat by the bed, her eyes never leaving her husband. She had just explained to her father and brothers the events surrounding Legolas' death. It had not been easy to speak of it, but she was glad for their presence. She had felt very alone the past two days.
Elrond looked sadly at his daughter as she finished the tragic story. "And how fares Gimli?" He asked softly. Arwen shook her head.
"Not well Ada." She said. "He blames himself for Legolas' death. He has not left his chambers. He will take neither food nor drink. The servants tell me he has almost destroyed his room in his rage. I - I have not had chance to talk with him." Elrond nodded.
"It's all right Arwen. I will speak to him. You should get some rest my Daughter. You look exhausted." Indeed, Arwen had not slept since the events of the previous two days. Despite her grief, it had been left to her to make the necessary arrangements, as Aragorn and Gimli had been all but useless. Elrond pressed his daughter gently on to the bed. "Rest." Elrond said. "I will take care of everything." Arwen nodded and lay down, for once content to let her father take over. As soon as her head touched the pillow, she was asleep.
With a sad sigh, Elrond left the room and went to see to the grief-stricken dwarf.
End Chapter 2
Flashback continues next chapter!
Disclaimer - I am not Tolkien.
Ever After - Chapter 2
He remembered asking Arwen to take care of Estel and he had a fuzzy memory of telling his friends he would miss them, but if there had been anything after that, he wasn't aware of it. He had been consumed by darkness and then wrapped in a great light. His next clear memory was finding himself in the Halls of Mandos. That had been an interesting time. He'd been - understandably- disorientated and had not really known what to expect. He soon discovered that the halls, though light, airy and comfortable, left one with a sense of unease and a feeling of not belonging. Still, he'd been somewhat surprised when he'd been moved on to Valinor after a scant five years. He'd expected to be in Mandos' Halls a lot longer - a few hundred years at least. But Lord Mandos had seemed to want him to go to Valinor much sooner that that and Legolas was not one to complain. Besides, Valinor was much nicer than these halls, he was sure.
The beauty of Valinor was everything he'd ever expected and more. Blue sky, green grass and perfectly formed trees that made up vast forests where white deer ran. Around the forests were the homes of many hundreds of elves, all linked to a path that led to a shining silver city. The great city where many of the greatest elves now resided. Legolas had only been there once, when he had first arrived. They had offered him a home there, but he had felt more comfortable in the Woods. Though Sindarin by heritage, he was a wood-elf at heart and was most at home in the forest. The cities of the Noldor were not for him. His mother was the same and he was now residing in her home built high in the trees.
On the surface of it all, everything was perfect, but deep inside him, the Prince was screaming. He felt trapped, caged. He had been here seven years, but it felt like seven thousand. What was worse though, was that he did not even understand why he felt the way he did. He did not regret the actions that had lead to his death, he had saved Gimli's life and if he had the chance to do it all again, he knew he would change nothing. So why was he so angry? So unsettled? Why could he not feel Valinor's peace? No matter how hard he tried, he could not find the answers to his questions and that only increased his frustration.
So lost in his thoughts was he, that he did not hear someone swiftly climbing the tree he sat in and walking up to him. "Legolas?" The newcomer questioned. When he received no reply he waved his hand in the other's face. "Legolas!" The Prince turned and glared at the other elf.
"Go away Haldir!" He snapped. "I wish to be alone." He turned his back on the Lorien Elf. Haldir was not put off however and sat himself down on the branch near the Prince. They sat in silence for a time until Legolas realised that Haldir was not going to go away anytime soon. "What do you want?" He asked irritably. Haldir sighed and reached out to grasp his friend's arm.
"I want to know what is wrong Legolas. Everyone is worried about you, especially your mother. You have been in Valinor for seven years. You should have settled by now." He broke off and looked at the Prince.
"I'm fine." Said Legolas shortly. Haldir shook his head.
"No you're not. I've known you a long time mellon nin and I have never known you to act like this. There is more here than what you've told your mother. So," - And here he grinned- "Until you tell me what is wrong, I am not going to leave your side!" Legolas visibly slumped. He knew Haldir spoke the truth. He was never going to get any peace until he'd told him everything. And who could say? Maybe Haldir could actually help. He'd been dead longer, maybe he knew how he was feeling. He turned slowly and looked at the one-time March Warden.
"Very well." He sighed. "You win. I will tell you." He took a deep breath and began to speak. "Ever since I died nothing has felt right. I do not know how to describe it, but everything feels wrong. As if there was something I was supposed to do before I left Middle-Earth." His face darkened. "I was not ready!" Haldir's eyes opened wide.
"And I was?!" He exclaimed. "Legolas, no one wants to die, but it happens sometimes, even to elves. You know that. We all go through that feeling of incompletion. But you have to move past it." Legolas met his friend's gaze and held it.
"Tell me Haldir," He said softly. "Does it usually last this long?" Haldir sighed.
"No." He replied. "I have never known it to last longer than a few months. Perhaps there is something else that is effecting you." Legolas looked away then, not meeting his friend's eyes. "Legolas?" He prompted. Staring down at the ground, Legolas muttered something that the Lorien elf couldn't quite hear. "What did you say?" He questioned.
"The sea longing." Said Legolas quietly. It's still here Haldir, it hasn't gone away." Haldir was stunned.
"How can that be?! He cried. "The sea-longing is the call to Valinor, now you are here, it should have been sated."
"I know." Legolas replied. "But perhaps we were wrong. Perhaps the sea-longing is about the journey, the journey that was denied me. Or it could be because most elves sail soon after feeling the sea's call and I did not. I stayed for Aragorn. Maybe it had an effect on me that I was unaware of." He shrugged. "I do not know. All I know for certain is that the sea-longing still stirs within me. And...." He trailed off.
"Yes?" Haldir encouraged him.
"Something else." Legolas said. "A shadow in the back of my mind. A feeling that something is terribly wrong in Middle-Earth. I can't explain it." He put his head in his hands. "I'm a mess Haldir. I don't know what's going on anymore." The March Warden edged slightly closer to Legolas and wrapped a comforting arm around the Prince's shoulders.
"Try not to worry Legolas." He said gently. "We'll figure it out, I promise." He smiled. But why don't we try to relax for a while? Lets go hunting." Legolas shrugged.
"Why not?." He said. "Perhaps it will help." The two elves jumped lightly from the tree and headed to the forest, stopping at Legolas' home to collect his weapons. As they walked along, a thought struck Legolas. "You know." He said thoughtfully. "I went hunting the day I died. I caught a deer, two partridge and a rabbit that day. He frowned. I was really looking forward to dinner!" Haldir laughed.
"I know the feeling!" He replied. "I was looking forward to a really good nights sleep when I was killed!" He smiled. "Dying really ruins your day, doesn't it?!" At that, Legolas actually grinned.
"It certainly does!" Feeling more light-hearted than he had done since coming to Valinor, Legolas went off to hunt some deer, putting aside for the moment the worries in his mind.
Arwen looked at Aragorn from the balcony of their rooms. The King was wandering the gardens, pausing occasionally to stare at the stars. A deep but familiar sorrow filled her heart. He did that a lot these days. It had been nearly twelve years since Legolas was killed, but Aragorn had never gotten over his friend's death. He always put on a good face for his people, but in reality, his grief still ran as deep as it did the day his friend died.
Arwen cast her mind back to that dreadful time twelve years ago. She remembered how the days following Legolas' death had been sheer hell.
*Flashback*
"Estel?" Arwen gently tried to call her husband's attention to her. Legolas had been dead for two days and in that time the former ranger had not spoken at all. He had not even left his room since placing his friend in the stone room of waiting where all deceased royalty was prepared for the final journey. "Estel?" She tried again. "Estel, Ada has come, our brothers too. Won't you come with me to greet them?" He looked at her, his mind slowly processing her words.
"Ada?" He said questioningly. His wife nodded, relived that he had finally spoken, even if it was but a single word.
"Yes and Elladan and Elrohir too. Come Estel, let us go and see them." Taking her husband's arm, she gently guided him out of the room.
They walked a short way to the large open courtyard in the centre of the palace. There, they could see Elrond and his sons waiting.
Elladan saw his brother coming and ran to him. Throwing his arms around the human, he held him tightly. "Oh Estel." He whispered. "I'm so sorry. We came as soon as we heard. I just can't believe it!" Unable to cope with his brother's emotions, Aragorn pulled away. Fresh tears pricked at his eyes and he barely registered Elrond and Elrohir's approach. Elrohir stood to the side as Elrond went to his son. Placing his hand under Estel's chin, he gently forced the human to look at him.
"Estel." Aragorn raised his eyes to look at his father, but he was unprepared for what he found. The elf-lord had clearly been crying. Glancing at his brothers he saw similar expressions of grief on them. With something akin to shock he realised.
"It's not just me. I'm not the only one who's going to miss Legolas." He swallowed hard and tried to speak. "Ada, I - I - You came." He stuttered. Elrond pulled his son into his arms.
"Oh Estel, of course. Legolas was loved by many, but to you, Elladan and Elrohir he was as a brother. He was a part of our family and his loss is a terrible tragedy. We had to come." Aragorn nodded and clung to Elrond.
"I feel so lost." He whispered. "I don't know what to do."
"Shhh." Elrond soothed. "Try to relax. We will help you."
They had finally moved to Aragorn's chambers. The King was asleep, worn out by his grief. Arwen sat by the bed, her eyes never leaving her husband. She had just explained to her father and brothers the events surrounding Legolas' death. It had not been easy to speak of it, but she was glad for their presence. She had felt very alone the past two days.
Elrond looked sadly at his daughter as she finished the tragic story. "And how fares Gimli?" He asked softly. Arwen shook her head.
"Not well Ada." She said. "He blames himself for Legolas' death. He has not left his chambers. He will take neither food nor drink. The servants tell me he has almost destroyed his room in his rage. I - I have not had chance to talk with him." Elrond nodded.
"It's all right Arwen. I will speak to him. You should get some rest my Daughter. You look exhausted." Indeed, Arwen had not slept since the events of the previous two days. Despite her grief, it had been left to her to make the necessary arrangements, as Aragorn and Gimli had been all but useless. Elrond pressed his daughter gently on to the bed. "Rest." Elrond said. "I will take care of everything." Arwen nodded and lay down, for once content to let her father take over. As soon as her head touched the pillow, she was asleep.
With a sad sigh, Elrond left the room and went to see to the grief-stricken dwarf.
End Chapter 2
Flashback continues next chapter!