Chapter 8: Jealousy
The night was cold. But Haldir didn't care, he just sat in the same seat he had done before. Thinking about Isabella, about the last meal, and also thinking about the War. Usually such things like these don't worry him, but ever since he met Isabella, everything had changed. His attitude towards life had changed… it took some time to realise that the strange feeling he had towards Isabella was love. Love. Something that Haldir had never felt before. Well, he thought that it was love, otherwise what else would it be? He always saw love around him, but was never able to feel it. Haldir's head fell into his hands.
He heard the gavel crunch, the noise coming towards him. He didn't care who it was, not even bothering to look up and see. He felt cloth brush him as the person sat next to him. Then he heard a soft gentle voice, he recognised it to be Gandalf. "there was another thing that I had to tell you…" Haldir looked up at the Wizard waiting for the information. "Isabella had seen Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck, in the Fangorn Forest. I sent her there. Not long after I had arrived there, she had left. Both Peregrin and Meriadoc had told me what happened. I was concerned… I told her that I would meet her there, but as the both of them told me, she had left in a quick urgency." Gandalf's voice trailed off, and he went into a intense thought. "So they are alive?" Haldir sat up straight, Gandalf nodded. Haldir sighed in relief. "why did she leave so suddenly?" Haldir asked.
"there was a fight… between Pippin and Merry. They told me that they had feelings for her, and she had for them. She was frightened. I could sense it… but what I don't understand is that she ran. All her life she had had people wanting to be with her. But that is just what happens to a Mith'quessirin. I tried to stop her going out of the house, for her protection, but it didn't last for too long. She grew older and it was the time for her to look after herself. So I decided that she was able to go to Fangorn Forest, alone and give courage to Pippin and Merry. But it seems that she didn't succeed…" Gandalf broke off again. Haldir couldn't think of anything to say to that. There was a long pause between them, all that could be heard was the crickets chirping.
Then Haldir said slowly, choosing his words carefully, "do you think that she got frightened?" he frowned slightly, thinking. "I do not know… only she could tell you" the old man replied. "she didn't really tell me why she ran, but from what I gathered from Pippin and Merry, she loved them"
Haldir's heart jumped. "what?" he said rather quickly.
"I said that she loved them, Haldir… I thought that Elves hearing is supposed to be excellent…" Gandalf chuckled… But Haldir was serious… he thought that he was the only one… something inside of him was churning…an emotion that he had never felt before… then he realised what it was… jealousy…
He was going to go to Isabella… but he thought otherwise, and decided that it would be best if he let it go. "was that all Gandalf, because I am very tired and I need to sleep" Gandalf nodded and Haldir got up and left to his room.
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Larien walked back into Isabella's room, it was dark. She thought that it was her duty tonight to watch over Isabella. If anything happened she would be there to help, or warn someone that was near the room. She walked over to one of the candles and lit it up with the only existing one, then sat down in the chair in the corner. It didn't take long until Larien was asleep. And Isabella had woken up when the door was opened. Slowly Isabella sat up in bed. The wound in her side was the worst pain that she has ever felt. Her body tensed every time she tried to move and her breathing became shallow. But she tried very hard not to wake Larien.
Isabella was restless, she needed to walk around. Slowly she swung her legs around the side of the bed, and pulled the thin blanket off her body. Her feet touched the carpet. It was cold outside of the covers, but Isabella had to walk. Gently she stood up, it was a little wobbly at first, but she managed to balance herself. She tried not to think about the pain, so she shuffled her feet to the door. On the way she picked up the candle that wasn't blown out and headed to the door, glancing every few seconds at Larien slouched in the chair over in the corner. Isabella touched to cold door handle, and turned it gently that it didn't make a sound. And stepped out… finally she was out of that room!
The hallway was lit up with candles along the walls. The floor was cold, but as cold as in her room. She shuffled along the corridor to a nearby window. There she stood and looked out, she could see the moon and realised that it must be late. But she didn't care… she needed to get out… "hey, I won't be able to do anything soon!" the voice inside her said… Isabella shook her said… "don't say that…"
"don't say what?" Haldir said with a raised eyebrow, and a grin. Isabella turned around startled. "Haldir! You… scared me!" Isabella panted. He looked at her head to toe, then in her eyes. "I see that you are well… although you shouldn't be walking around!" there was a lighter tone in his voice. He was pleased that she was up… but also very worried that she could do some more damage that was not intended.
"yes… I needed to walk around… my legs were feeling a little numb…" even though she was walking her voice still sounded husky. As if it was too hard to talk.
"then let me take you to my favourite bench in the garden…" Haldir held out his arm, she took it and they both walked outside to the garden.
It took some time to reach the bench… but Haldir didn't care… he felt happier to be around Isabella. And they reached the spot where Haldir had been sitting minutes before. They both sat together looking at the stars. The breeze blew lightly, and Isabella shook. Haldir wrapped his arms around the Silver Elf's shoulders.
"you must be freezing with such little clothes on… here take this" he took off his jacket and threw it around Isabella. Firstly Isabella objected, but then accepted it once a small gust of wind blew on her skin.
"thankyou, Haldir. Nobody has ever done that to me before." she looked him in the eyes and smiled. Even though the pain inside her was killing her, she was always able to smile and make Haldir feel a little bit happier. "Isabella, can I ask you something?" Haldir asked gently. "yes… of course" she replied.
" Did you love Pippin and Merry?" she looked a him in alarm. "how did you know about them?" she said rather quickly. Haldir turned in the seat to face her, and his face was serious. "I was speaking with Gandalf not longer than a quarter of an hour ago. He knows that you ran from Fangorn Forest, he knows that Pippin and Merry had a fight over you, and he knows that you didn't finish your task. What I want to know is… did you love them?" Isabella's eyes were wide, and stammered to find an answer. "well at least tell me why you had ran from the Forest?" she breathed in deeply, and let out a large sigh. "did Pop ask you to say something?"
"no, I wanted to know… but you should tell him… so he can help you…"
"how could he help me, Haldir? Its in the past…" Isabella's voice grew a little bit louder. "it maybe in the past… but he can help you… that's what he is here for"
"and how long will it take to help me… I am dying Haldir… nothing can be done to stop that! And I know that I don't have that long to live." she gave a wheezing cough. "Calm down, Isabella… please don't make this harder than it already is… we are just trying to help you" he held out his hand, and grasped hers. It was cold… it made his own hand feel like ice. "I know… I am sorry… well I suppose that I can't delay my answer any longer… Yes Haldir, I did love them… but I knew that I if I had to choose one of them, it would split them up… and that was the last thing I wanted to do… Middle Earth is in war… and they are needed, and they needed each other… that's way I left… but now that I know I have done damage I can not see them again… and my heart can't take it" Isabella's voice was soft again. Haldir just looked into her eyes with dismay. "do you still love them… now?" Haldir asked, something in his head was denying him that she was in love with them… but his heart felt differently. Isabella shook her head. "no… as I said I did love them… but being here… with you…" she fell silent. Did she just say that? Haldir knelt down on the gravel and came face to face with her. "are you saying that you… care for me?" he chose his words carefully. She looked at him expressionless. "I have said too much… thankyou for your jacket" And with that Isabella got up and hobbled as fast as she could, back to her room.
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The night was cold. But Haldir didn't care, he just sat in the same seat he had done before. Thinking about Isabella, about the last meal, and also thinking about the War. Usually such things like these don't worry him, but ever since he met Isabella, everything had changed. His attitude towards life had changed… it took some time to realise that the strange feeling he had towards Isabella was love. Love. Something that Haldir had never felt before. Well, he thought that it was love, otherwise what else would it be? He always saw love around him, but was never able to feel it. Haldir's head fell into his hands.
He heard the gavel crunch, the noise coming towards him. He didn't care who it was, not even bothering to look up and see. He felt cloth brush him as the person sat next to him. Then he heard a soft gentle voice, he recognised it to be Gandalf. "there was another thing that I had to tell you…" Haldir looked up at the Wizard waiting for the information. "Isabella had seen Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck, in the Fangorn Forest. I sent her there. Not long after I had arrived there, she had left. Both Peregrin and Meriadoc had told me what happened. I was concerned… I told her that I would meet her there, but as the both of them told me, she had left in a quick urgency." Gandalf's voice trailed off, and he went into a intense thought. "So they are alive?" Haldir sat up straight, Gandalf nodded. Haldir sighed in relief. "why did she leave so suddenly?" Haldir asked.
"there was a fight… between Pippin and Merry. They told me that they had feelings for her, and she had for them. She was frightened. I could sense it… but what I don't understand is that she ran. All her life she had had people wanting to be with her. But that is just what happens to a Mith'quessirin. I tried to stop her going out of the house, for her protection, but it didn't last for too long. She grew older and it was the time for her to look after herself. So I decided that she was able to go to Fangorn Forest, alone and give courage to Pippin and Merry. But it seems that she didn't succeed…" Gandalf broke off again. Haldir couldn't think of anything to say to that. There was a long pause between them, all that could be heard was the crickets chirping.
Then Haldir said slowly, choosing his words carefully, "do you think that she got frightened?" he frowned slightly, thinking. "I do not know… only she could tell you" the old man replied. "she didn't really tell me why she ran, but from what I gathered from Pippin and Merry, she loved them"
Haldir's heart jumped. "what?" he said rather quickly.
"I said that she loved them, Haldir… I thought that Elves hearing is supposed to be excellent…" Gandalf chuckled… But Haldir was serious… he thought that he was the only one… something inside of him was churning…an emotion that he had never felt before… then he realised what it was… jealousy…
He was going to go to Isabella… but he thought otherwise, and decided that it would be best if he let it go. "was that all Gandalf, because I am very tired and I need to sleep" Gandalf nodded and Haldir got up and left to his room.
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Larien walked back into Isabella's room, it was dark. She thought that it was her duty tonight to watch over Isabella. If anything happened she would be there to help, or warn someone that was near the room. She walked over to one of the candles and lit it up with the only existing one, then sat down in the chair in the corner. It didn't take long until Larien was asleep. And Isabella had woken up when the door was opened. Slowly Isabella sat up in bed. The wound in her side was the worst pain that she has ever felt. Her body tensed every time she tried to move and her breathing became shallow. But she tried very hard not to wake Larien.
Isabella was restless, she needed to walk around. Slowly she swung her legs around the side of the bed, and pulled the thin blanket off her body. Her feet touched the carpet. It was cold outside of the covers, but Isabella had to walk. Gently she stood up, it was a little wobbly at first, but she managed to balance herself. She tried not to think about the pain, so she shuffled her feet to the door. On the way she picked up the candle that wasn't blown out and headed to the door, glancing every few seconds at Larien slouched in the chair over in the corner. Isabella touched to cold door handle, and turned it gently that it didn't make a sound. And stepped out… finally she was out of that room!
The hallway was lit up with candles along the walls. The floor was cold, but as cold as in her room. She shuffled along the corridor to a nearby window. There she stood and looked out, she could see the moon and realised that it must be late. But she didn't care… she needed to get out… "hey, I won't be able to do anything soon!" the voice inside her said… Isabella shook her said… "don't say that…"
"don't say what?" Haldir said with a raised eyebrow, and a grin. Isabella turned around startled. "Haldir! You… scared me!" Isabella panted. He looked at her head to toe, then in her eyes. "I see that you are well… although you shouldn't be walking around!" there was a lighter tone in his voice. He was pleased that she was up… but also very worried that she could do some more damage that was not intended.
"yes… I needed to walk around… my legs were feeling a little numb…" even though she was walking her voice still sounded husky. As if it was too hard to talk.
"then let me take you to my favourite bench in the garden…" Haldir held out his arm, she took it and they both walked outside to the garden.
It took some time to reach the bench… but Haldir didn't care… he felt happier to be around Isabella. And they reached the spot where Haldir had been sitting minutes before. They both sat together looking at the stars. The breeze blew lightly, and Isabella shook. Haldir wrapped his arms around the Silver Elf's shoulders.
"you must be freezing with such little clothes on… here take this" he took off his jacket and threw it around Isabella. Firstly Isabella objected, but then accepted it once a small gust of wind blew on her skin.
"thankyou, Haldir. Nobody has ever done that to me before." she looked him in the eyes and smiled. Even though the pain inside her was killing her, she was always able to smile and make Haldir feel a little bit happier. "Isabella, can I ask you something?" Haldir asked gently. "yes… of course" she replied.
" Did you love Pippin and Merry?" she looked a him in alarm. "how did you know about them?" she said rather quickly. Haldir turned in the seat to face her, and his face was serious. "I was speaking with Gandalf not longer than a quarter of an hour ago. He knows that you ran from Fangorn Forest, he knows that Pippin and Merry had a fight over you, and he knows that you didn't finish your task. What I want to know is… did you love them?" Isabella's eyes were wide, and stammered to find an answer. "well at least tell me why you had ran from the Forest?" she breathed in deeply, and let out a large sigh. "did Pop ask you to say something?"
"no, I wanted to know… but you should tell him… so he can help you…"
"how could he help me, Haldir? Its in the past…" Isabella's voice grew a little bit louder. "it maybe in the past… but he can help you… that's what he is here for"
"and how long will it take to help me… I am dying Haldir… nothing can be done to stop that! And I know that I don't have that long to live." she gave a wheezing cough. "Calm down, Isabella… please don't make this harder than it already is… we are just trying to help you" he held out his hand, and grasped hers. It was cold… it made his own hand feel like ice. "I know… I am sorry… well I suppose that I can't delay my answer any longer… Yes Haldir, I did love them… but I knew that I if I had to choose one of them, it would split them up… and that was the last thing I wanted to do… Middle Earth is in war… and they are needed, and they needed each other… that's way I left… but now that I know I have done damage I can not see them again… and my heart can't take it" Isabella's voice was soft again. Haldir just looked into her eyes with dismay. "do you still love them… now?" Haldir asked, something in his head was denying him that she was in love with them… but his heart felt differently. Isabella shook her head. "no… as I said I did love them… but being here… with you…" she fell silent. Did she just say that? Haldir knelt down on the gravel and came face to face with her. "are you saying that you… care for me?" he chose his words carefully. She looked at him expressionless. "I have said too much… thankyou for your jacket" And with that Isabella got up and hobbled as fast as she could, back to her room.
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